The next day I throw myself into work, pouring all my energy into perfecting each sentence of every essay. I don't allow myself any time to daydream like I usually would, because I'm terrified that I might think of the "Unfortunate Incident". And that's unacceptable.
When classes end for the day, I make my way up to Ravenclaw tower. There are a few people lounging in the common room, so I go up to my dormitory. Once there, I deposit my books on my bed and start to change into more casual clothes.
"Geez, warn a girl or something before you go taking your clothes off."
Yelping, I turn to glare at Regan. "I didn't even know you were in here." I snap. "Turn around, I'm taking my shirt off."
Pursing her lips to—unsuccessfully—hide her smile, Regan drops her face into the covers on her bed. "What's with the 'tude, little miss thang?" She asks, when I've told her it's safe to look.
This only makes me scowl harder. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Uh-huh, uh-huh," She swings her legs around, letting them dangle off the bed. "Right. Then tell me something. Why aren't you at tutoring right now?"
I freeze momentarily, then continue unpacking my bag. "I have a lot of homework. I don't have time today."
Regan snaps her bubblegum. "Did you tell Scorpius this? Or is he sitting in the library right now, under the impression that you're planning on tutoring him?"
"He may be under one impression or another," I say carefully, "But that's not my problem. I can't control what he thinks, can I? No. I can't. So if you don't mind." I tuck my legs under me and pull out my Potions essay. I finished it during free period, but there's always room to check for errors, right?
"Hey," When I look up again, Regan's eyes are serious. "I'm trying not to pry Rosie, I really am, but you still haven't told me what last night was about. And now you're skipping tutoring and letting someone who was counting on you down? That's not like you and I'm worried."
"Don't be, I'm fine."
"And whenever you say that, you're always the opposite." She counters heatedly. "Are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to get your brother?"
My eyes widen. "Why would you bring him into this?"
"Because, Rosie, as much as you two might not understand each other, he loves you fiercely. I know he can guilt whatever it is out of you." Regan lifts an eyebrow challengingly.
For a change, I want her to be right. But I know she isn't. "Unfortunately, you're wrong." I turn back to my essay, crossing out a spelling mistake. "Hugo and I haven't spoken in over a month."
"What?" She yelps like she's been stung. "And when were you planning on telling me this?"
I shrug. "It's not important."
"It's not important that you're not on speaking terms with your own brothers?" She throws her hands into the air. "What happened?"
"Also, not important." The true story was long and complicated, and I didn't feel like getting into it with so much already weighing on my mind.
Regan's expression became thunderous. "I really can't deal with you sometimes, Rose, I really can't. Talking to you is like talking to a—a wall. You're a very good listener, but damn it, I'm not going to think less of you if you admit you have feelings! I want to help you, otherwise I wouldn't bother asking! You know me, I'm not that nice. But, fine. Whatever. It's your choice." She pushes herself off the bed and heads for the door.
I stop writing. "Scorpius kissed me."
Regan gasps. "I'll kill him!"
Her reaction makes me laugh. "No, don't bother. I already yelled at him for it. And, um, it's actually the second time."
Quick as whip, she shoves my schoolthings off my bed and plants herself in front of me. Her hazel eyes shining, she demands, "Tell me everything."
Once Regan falls asleep, I climb out of bed and head out of the castle, down to the lake. For a change, I decide to stretch out under the usual tree (which in my head I've started calling Big). Big and I relax under the watchful eyes of the stars. For the first time in days, my head feels clear. The ground is fresh from that day's rain, and I dig my fingers into the soft dirt. Somewhere, a sleepy bird trills. Letting my eyes close, I take a deep breath. The air smells like earth, flowers, and crisp pine—
My eyes snap open. There are no pine trees around here. Alert, I do a complete three-sixty of the grounds. He's standing a few feet away, peeling an orange. Peeling an orange and watching me. Scorpius and I stare at each other for what feels like minutes, before I realize what I'm doing and get to my feet, ready to leave.
"Rose."
Hesitating, I look back. Scorpius walks toward me, and offers half of his orange. "Do you want some?" He asks, uncertainty making his hands shake. This in and of itself is so momentous that I accept the fruit. Scorpius swallows a few times looking at me and then away more times than I can count.
Finally, he bursts out, "I was a jerk, okay?"
I jump, startled by the increase in volume. "What?"
Glowing red, Scorpius stares stubbornly at the ground. "You were right. I shouldn't have kissed you like that without your permission. I guess I just thought that maybe—I mean—I—I'm sorry."
I'm fairly sure that I'm gaping at him. Yep. My jaw is actually hanging open. I quickly close it, and swallow the wedge of orange I'd popped in my mouth. I have no idea what to say to this. How does someone handle an apology from Scorpius Malfoy? Someone with so much pride that it makes you want to smack them sometimes?
"I…that…uh…" Is all I can manage.
"I know. It's not enough." He scuffs the dirt with his shoe. "I realized you were seriously angry when you didn't show up for tutoring. And I knew I had to do something to fix it. You—you're a good teacher. I won't do anything to screw that up again, okay? My grade can't handle it. So, no more kissing." He looks up, and smiles tentatively.
My heart plummets at that, which of course is only more surprising. Since when has Scorpius Malfoy not kissing me been a disappointment? It's then that I realize something. The very thing I've been trying to avoid.
I like kissing him, and the idea of stopping makes me feel physically ill.
In that second, I decide. "Meet me here tomorrow night at twelve. No tutoring that day, either."
Scorpius frowns. "Why?"
"Because," I take a deep breath and let the grin I've been holding back show. "I want to take you somewhere."
I pass the next day in a jumble of nerves and anticipation. Tonight's the night. I'm going to make a move on Scorpius Malfoy. Merlin, I don't know what I'm getting myself into. All I know is that while kissing other boys has always been a pleasant enough experience, only Scorpius has managed to take my breath away and leave me with sweaty palms. Even if the only kiss I can remember us having ended with me screaming at him. Eh. Things happen.
I tell Regan where I'm going, following my new open door policy with her. If possible, she's more excited than I am. She knows how important this is to me, so she skips the "he's a player" warning and sends me off with her blessing and a hug. I throw my favorite white sweater on over the pink sundress I'm wearing and head down the secret passageway that takes me to the grounds. From there, it's a quick walk to the tree. Even though I'm ten minutes early, Scorpius is already there.
His impish smile shines in the moonlight. "I didn't want to be late."
I can't help but smile back. "Neither did I." He looks incredible, in jeans and a striped blue sweater with a white t-shirt peeking through the v-neck. His hair is its usual tousled perfection.
Get a grip, Rose. He puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of 'em.
"Ready to go?" I ask to distract myself.
He nods. "Lead the way."
I start toward the Forbidden Forest. It's a testament to his nerves that he doesn't hesitate in following me. Butterflies flutter in my stomach, and I can scarcely breathe with him walking so close to me. He smells different tonight. His usual pine-fresh air smell is still there, but now there's a raw, spicy scent that overpowers it. It makes me want to move even closer.
I have issues. Serious issues. The kind I should be seeking professional guidance for.
In spite of myself, I shuffle a step closer to him so that every few steps our arms brush against each other. I hope he doesn't notice. I'm paying absolutely no attention to where we're going—which isn't the best idea when wandering around the Forbidden Forest—so it's lucky my feet know instinctively where to take us. In a handful of minutes, the trees begin to look familiar. We're seconds from my clearing. A wave of seconds thoughts crash over me, but I push through them. It would look ridiculous to turn back now.
We step into my clearing. It's beautiful tonight, as I knew it would be. The crescent moon is directly above our heads, washing the ground with light. The lush grass tickles my legs as I walk ahead, planting myself in the middle of the clearing and facing him square on.
I had something witty and cute to say, but here, in the moment, I've blanked. "Here we are." I say, watching his face closely as he takes it all in.
He takes his time looking around, finishing his circle with me. His face full of wonder, he breathes, "It's beautiful, Rose."
Happiness floods through me, making everything look ten times brighter. I was worried that he wouldn't be impressed, would sneer and tell me I was acting like a strange little woodnymph. I would've expected it from Scorpius a week ago, but now? I wouldn't have brought him if I didn't know on some level that he would love it as much as I do.
On a whim, I sit down in the grass. "Come on," I smile when he hesitates. "I won't bite."
Much.
Scorpius takes a seat a frustrating foot away. Spurred on, I lie back, placing my hands on my stomach. His face never changes, and after a second he lies down as well, folding his arm behind his head. The stars are out in abundance, sparkling like their lives depend on it.
He isn't saying anything, so I point at the sky. "Do you see that constellation there? The one that looks like a lightning bolt?"
Scorpius squints up at the sky. "No, I can't find it."
"Really? Here's a hint. It's the one I'm pointing at."
He makes a face at me, then in one quick movement he moves his head so it's touching mine. "Now I can see where you're pointing."
I don't know if it's normal for my head to feel like a thousand tiny shocks just hit it, but that's how it feels with his head against mine. I keep pointing, afraid of what I'll hit if I put my arm down.
Scorpius points his left hand up, brushing against my right arm in the air. "There. I think I see it now. That one?"
"Yes. That one. That's my favorite constellation."
He laughs. "You have favorites? So you really are a nerd."
I bring my hand down and smack his stomach with it. Oye. He has some strong abs. Trying to regain my focus, I say, "Don't be rude, I'm being serious. It's my favorite one. Its name is Lacerta, and usually it's pretty hard to see, but tonight it's really…sparkling."
I feel him pull away, and when I turn my head to find out why, he's staring at me. Suddenly, my eyes feel fixed on his, like I couldn't tear them away no matter what I tried.
"Why did you bring me here, tonight?" He asks, searching my face for the answer I'm not ready to give.
I need more time. I'm not ready! But as his eyes search mine, I feel a calm fall over me. No, it has to be now. A wind sweeps through the clearing, rustling the leaves on the tree and making it sound like we're lying in the middle of an ocean.
"I come here as much as I can. I love it here as much as I love my home, and it's where I would go when I was younger and feeling homesick. Somehow, with the stars and the trees, I never felt so far away." I swallow hard and continue, "I wanted to show you this place so that you'll always know where to find me."
Scorpius's voice was soft when he asked, "And why do you want me to be able to always find you?"
This is it. I take another deep breath. "Because I don't want you to ever lose me." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, my face began to burn. Was it always this way with confessions? Are you supposed to feel mortified afterward?
"Rose," His use of my name sent shivers down my back. "Open your eyes."
Oh. I open them, not having realized that they were closed. What I see makes my stomach flip over. Scorpius has a very tender look on his face, and he's looking at me that way.
"I can see the stars reflected in your eyes." He whispers, moving an inch or so closer to me.
I can't breathe. Merlin, why isn't oxygen entering my lungs?
He closes more of the distance. "They make you look…infinite." On the last word, he leans over and kisses me. This kiss is a thousand times different than the first (second?) one. It's soft, gentle. It's feather-light against my lips. My heart swelling, I move my head up and deepen it, placing my hand on his knee. After a while more of this, he breaks the kiss, breathing heavily.
"Rose, I have to tell you something." He runs a hand through his hair, looking more troubled than a guy I just snogged should look. "I like you. But I'm no good at being someone's boyfriend. I—I don't know how."
I think I understand what he means. He might have experience in the physical aspect of a relationship—okay, so he definitely has that experience—but I've never heard of him having a girlfriend for very long. It's always been conquests over girlfriends.
"Hey," I want to touch his cheek, but I chicken out at the last minute and end up touching his hand instead. "It's alright. We don't have to decide anything right now. We can take it slow."
His face brightens. "Do you mean that? You don't mind?"
I laugh gently. "No, of course not. We can start small. We like kissing each other, right? So why don't we start with that, and go from there?"
Something akin to awe shines in his eyes, as he leans forward to kiss me again.
Hehehe c:
You knew they'd do it. I knew they'd do it. But hey, isn't it SO COOL that they did it? I'm so excited about this chapter that I'm up at two finishing it, when I really should be sleeping. Blame any spelling mistakes on my eagerness to share.
Okay, Auriella. It's written. They've kissed & confessed. Now upload it and go to bed. Because you're smiling like an idiot talking to yourself.
Haha, hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Good nighhhht!
