1A/N: Special thanks to jumpOVERtheMOON, the person who inspired the idea for Roger to meet Mimi's parents. You rock :)

7. Meet the Parents

"One," Mark exhaled, just as the door closed. Why was he relieved? He didn't have to spend the most ungainly evening of his life with his girlfriend on one side and his best friend attached to his arm. The latter, maybe, but definitely not the former. But instead of flipping on him, I was much too stressed, so I agreed with him.

"Ready or not, here we come," I muttered in understanding.

Then, I fully realized what the hell was going on. I was visiting Mimi's parent's for the first time and I had Mark connected to my left side. "Oh, no!" I groaned, hitting my head against the table over and over again. Mark came up and sat down (finally) and started biting his thumbnail.

"What?"

"I have to go to Mimi's house with you!"

There was a whooping laugh from a kitchen, a laugh that could only belong to Collins. "Ahaha. Damn, Rog, you're in for quite a night," he snickered, and then chuckled some more. I shot him the bird, but my black-and-blue hand disagreed with the movement.

"Thank you so much for freaking ruining my chance there! I'm done with Maureen being sorry. This sucks. I haven't had sex for, like, a fucking week, I'm attached to this albino, small-bladdered being, and to top it all off, I'm meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time and this dorkfuck is going to have to follow me around the entire time!"

My breathing was heavy when I finished my little speech, and Collins looked from me to Mark before trying to withhold his laughter. "Dorkfuck?" And he was laughing all over again, and I just couldn't take it. I launched myself across the room at him.

All of a sudden, I stopped, stuck. Collins started cackling manically again and I turned around. Mark was wrapped around the leg of the table, his wrist's circulation cut off and obviously in pain. "Ow ow ow ow ow! Roger, let go, let go! Stop!" he was screeching, trying to pull back on my strong hold.

I only slackened it a bit and used his own words against him: "Mark, I'm not holding on." I mocked his geeky tone and he glared at me, rubbing his wrist tenderly.

"You guys better start primping now. It's four and you have one hour to survive. C'mere, Roger, I'll help you pick out what to wear. I'll show you what I wore when I met Angel's parents for the first time." He started leading me to my bedroom, but I got stuck again.

"Hello!" Mark shouted grumpily. "Don't forget about little old me over here!" He waved his arm crazily and pointed to where his left arm was stuck. Sighing, Collins walked over and untangled him, and the three of us walked to my room. As long as Collins didn't make me wear the only tux that the three of us at one point in time shared, I was good.

Said suit was a great thing for us at one point in time. Since they were so expensive, we only bought one and the three of us shared it (it was before Benny and Maureen moved in). It was too thin for Collins and too big for Mark, but its waist size was the same as mine. Collins, too muscular, Mark, too scrawny.

However, it was too tall for my frame (and I'm tall! But Collins is taller), much too long for Mark (the one time he wore it, we had to double cuff the both the pant legs and the sleeves!), but perfect for Collins. It was just the wrong size for Mark in every way, which was funny. Even the color of it contrasted with his freaking white skin tone. It was a black suit with greyish buttons—it made him look even whiter. Poor Mark. He got the short end of the stick.

Collins rifled through my drawers with a talent I didn't know he possessed and picked out my "best clothes"—a sweater vest (why I had a sweater vest, I'm not sure) and a pair of (surprisingly) non-ripped jeans. The sweater vest wasn't exactly working for me, but Mark absolutely adored it, so I let him wear it. In fact, I let him have it.

Instead, Collins gave me a collared blouse thing that was white with beige, horizontal stripes to pair with the jeans. I'm not sure what he did to my hair, but he ruffled it or something. When he brought me over to the mirror, I gasped at the fact that I didn't look like I was a lazy bum. He laughed at my face.

"Yeah, I'm pretty good at makin' people look better than they do in real life."

I faked hurt. "I just clean up real good."

"This is the best thing ever!"

My head turned in the direction of the new voice. There was Mark in his new sweater vest. I choked on a laugh and turned back to look at Collins, who was equally amused but was better at hiding his urge to laugh his ass off. "You look very pretty, Mark," he commented.

"Collins, NO!" I shouted, diving in his direction to cover his mouth, but it was too late. Mark had an evil look on his face. I shook my head at Collins and smacked him on the side of the head. "Fuck you, Collins!"

"I...feel...pretty!" Mark started skipping, reprising his performance a few days prior. "Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and GAY! And I pity any Mark who isn't me today!" He did some weird pirouette thing that twisted my arm, almost popping it off, until he rewound and I could feel my arm again.

"Thanks for that, Mark," I mumbled, turning to see Collins with tears in his eyes. Sure, he chose now to start laughing.

Markarella stopped singing, finally, and fixed his sweater vest. "Okay, I'm done," he declared.

Something struck me. "Wait, Collins, what are we gonna do about the handcuffs?" Just at that moment, the doorbell rang.

"Good luck with that," Collins muttered.

"Shit!" I started running around. "We need... umm... a piece of fabric! I need a piece of fabric, pronto, stat, ASAP!" I ran into April's ex-bedroom and pulled out her old sewing kit. There was a stray piece of pink fabric. Pink. But it would have to work. Carefully, I wrapped it around the chain between the two of us. It looked odd, but I could cook up and excuse.

I pulled the loft door open, and there was Mimi, looking absolutely stunning in just a simple pair of jeans. Her hair was pulled back at the top, her curls flowing over her shoulders. The clip she used twinkled in the lamplight. The shirt she was wearing had a belt across it where it covered her waist, and the rest of it flowed to her mid-thigh.

She saw my grinning face and did a twirl, the bottom of the shirt spinning like a skirt would. "What? You like?"

I nodded dumbly. I hoped I wasn't drooling. "Si."

She laughed, throwing her hair back. "Come on, idiots."

- - - -

The car ride was... uncomfortable.

Mimi didn't understand why I couldn't drive/sit in the passenger seat, and I explained that Collins was serious about his bets. "Mark and I can't leave the other's side through the whole night. He even tied us together with this fabric," I held up the pink fabric. "And he had to make it pink, too."

Shaking her head, but still keeping her eye on the road, Mimi chuckled. "That guy is a piece of work."

"I know." Nervously, I tapped my fingers on the window. Sitting in the back made me feel like I was in jail, on my way to death row. "Mimi? Do you think your dad will like me?" I asked cautiously, the nervousness in my voice inevitable. Dads always made me nervous. Maybe because mine hadn't exactly been the best, maybe because they didn't like the fact that I was a rocker. Maybe because I was way more attractive than them.

The first time I met April's dad had been hell. He hated me right off the bat and demanded I leave. The next time I just kissed his ass and he took me in like his own son. Since then I've been his best friend. To this day I still am—he calls me every once in a while and asks if he can come over and visit. He absolutely adores Mark and Maureen and Collins.

"Why not worry about Mamì?" she joked, looking at me through the rearview mirror. "She bites, you know." She bared her teeth and pretended she was tearing something apart. "She's actually quite the ankle biter."

When she really saw my face she stopped. "Oh, come on, Roger, of course he will. Just don't piss him off. If you're polite, of course he will."

"I'm not worried about your mom," I came in, a little late, "because the ladies always dig me. It's a given."

She rolled her eyes and yawned, obviously unamused. "Of course."

"They dig me because I'm sexy," Mark offered.

Mark! "Dah, I forgot you were here!" I banged my head against my window. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "Now your family is going to hate me for everything I'm worth! Why did Maureen have to—"

I froze.

Mark gaped.

Mimi hit the breaks.

"Why did Maureen have to what?"

"Mimi—"

"Answer me!"

"Mimi, no, wait—"

"Roger, I will turn this car around—"

"Get out of the middle of the road!"

A/N: Wow, this is going to be a long chapter. Unfortunately, next chapter is going to have to be Roger's POV, too. Don't worry, though, we'll get Mark's view too.

Don't expect any drama. Roger's not really hurt, I just needed to end it somewhere.

The other day in chorus, we didn't have much to do, so my chorus teacher put on High School Musical. I didn't realize how much I really hated it until today. I mean, sure I disliked it, but ALL of their voices were FAKE! I mean, I know Ashley Tisdale was the lead in Les Mis before she went to Disney, but it's so FAKE in that movie!

And it's not a real musical! The only song that's musical material is the one in the cafeteria, and it's not even that good! Usually, they're singing for a purpose. In RENT, you have almost EVERY song not being sung because there was music playing, they're singing instead of talking. The song Rent could have so easily been dialogue, but it's a SONG. HSM is a knock-off musical through my eyes.

If you guys like it, I'm sorry, that's just my opinion. Please don't hate me because I hate HSM.

AND NOW I'VE RAMBLED. Anyway. I just have a quick Q—please rate this story for me. 1 being terrible, 2 being lame, 3 being mediocre, 4 being great, 5 being fantastic, 6 being one of your faves, 7 being so-marvelous-amazing-fantastic-unhumanly spectacular that it's too good to be true, one of your top favorites :)

I'm thinkin' I'm gonna write a companion piece to this about when they got the suit :) Just because I figure it'd be funny.

ANYWAY, stay tuned. :)

–Steph.