Reluctance

Chapter 7

Author: Aitana Otara

Rating: M

Warning: Eventual yaoi/man to man smex, harsh language, blah blah blah…

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Soul Eater or any of the other characters in it, just this plot.
Except for Gael, I totally own her.


Cold Return

The floor was hard and cold and rough against his skin. The air in the chamber was heavy and Justin could identify it as the same one he was brought to when he had first been captured.

Harsh, calloused hands forced his body across the room, pulling him by his arms. The blond groaned when the deep cuts on his skin throbbed with pain as they were scraped against the ground, gaining new ones in the process. He tried his best to shuffle to his feet at the least, however his captor was relentless and uncaring.

Blue eyes found an angry Giriko's face, glinting in the dim lighting of the torch on the far wall behind him with beads of sweat, as he carelessly strapped the blond up to the wall with chains around his wrists and ankles—as if he could attempt another escape in his current state.

After the task was done, silence filled the room. Giriko took a few steps backwards before folding his arms in front of his chest. The expression on the brunette's face changed into a more intense one when he started looking over his catch with a sadistic spark in his eyes that positively meant punishment.

Justin didn't know if it was a bad thing or a good thing now that Giriko was suddenly so emotionless. After all, he was a man who wore his feelings on his sleeve and he was more likely to burst rather than to quietly stare. Justin could hope that this change in his captor meant that he would be more careful with him in the best possible way, or he could fear that it mean he would be put into a severe beating much worse than before.

Well, either way, he failed in his attempt to escape and had dragged a poor girl into trouble in the process.

Justin bit a cracked and dried up lip while he waited for the verdict. He ignored the dulling pain on his arms, his torso and his face while his body shook once from the cold air that entered the chamber.

Giriko's face was suddenly split by a very large and malicious grin as if he had just had a brilliant idea. "I'll deal with you later. But first… Let me take care of that bitch."

Now it was a different fear that coursed through Justin. Oh no, he thought as his eyes widened. Now this was what he'd feared since they had gotten out. He feared that another soul get hurt because of his actions, his carelessness. Worse, what if Gael be simply killed because she helped him escape? If she was lucky, then they would hopefully give her a quick death, but Justin would still hate himself for it. Actually, whether she lives or dies would amount to Justin's self-hate, the only difference to each situation was how much he would hate himself.

"W, w-wait…" he called in a voice that partly displayed his feelings. Giriko, now at the doorway, stopped and turned back to look at Justin. "I was making her help me in exchange for her salvation."

"Ha?"

"I promised her that he would be saved from the gates of hell if she helped me escape," Justin was lying so easily about his beliefs now. But he was lying for the sake of saving another life, plus he was sure that if he wanted the brute's attention, it would be much more effective to use religion to annoy him. "I wanted her to be saved from the damnation that I am sure you will soon—!"

Pain bloomed over the reddening skin on Justin's face, making it look even worse as it added to the blood that was already painted there. Justin hung his head after the impact, internally moaning at the pain and willing himself to stay strong.

For Gael's sake. For his sake. For Giriko to finally tire of him.

"I'm sure you already know this, but maybe I should just tell you right now to make it all loud and clear…" Giriko growled as he leaned in close to Justin. "I follow no fucking god and I don't fucking care about what happens to me, all right? All the more to this no-name I've acquired for a slave."

In response, Justin hung his head and closed his eyes. His brows furrowed as he hoped that Giriko would comply with his wish. "I know. So blame me. Don't hurt the girl. I made her a believer."

The taller man grinned and pulled away, moving towards the exit again. "I do blame you. But I just can't not hurt the bitch… I have to punish traitors, too, you know."

Justin gritted his teeth and let his body relax unto the marking hold of the chains. He blamed himself for whatever will happen to Gael. He blamed himself for having been too weak. He blamed himself for having been too slow in the snow back there.

So many thoughts of 'if only's passed Justin's mind as he waited silently for his subjugator to come. He noticed, in the silence of the room, that his teeth had been clacking against each other and that his breaths were short and shaky. It was then when he noticed that his head was hurting from the cold and his body was starting to quiver a little too violently.

Justin wanted to curl in on himself and crawl closer to the warmth of the light at the other side of the room. He wanted his splitting head to numb. Most of all, he just wanted this all to end.

After a while of silent regretting, screaming permeated the air. Justin felt all his drowsiness and exhaustion disappear as he recognized the voice. It was Gael.

Immediately, Justin tried to pull himself from the chains that bound him to the wall. But he was too weak. No matter how hard he tried, Justin could never summon enough strength to break the chains. He could only helplessly listen to Gael's screams of pain that kept getting worse and worse by the moment.

The guilt built up on him, making him see red. It wasn't long before he started screaming for it to stop as well, wishing Giriko, or whoever it was punishing Gael, would listen for once. Justin weakly fought against the chains, shouting and pleading for it to stop.

He tried shouting for Gael to stay strong but when he did, her screams only got worse. It made him feel heavier with guilt. Would everything he would do for Gael only make it worse for her? Does Giriko truly feel nothing for the poor girl?!

"Stop! Giriko!" he tried once more, feeling his throat starting to hurt. Gael's hurting way more than this, he thought as he continued to reach away from the wall. "Stop it! She's just a girl! Stop it, you coward!"

His shouts went unnoticed.

And a long while later, Justin found himself hanging upon the chains in submission to his helplessness and fatigue. Gael had stopped screaming a while ago. He didn't know what they had done to her. Is she dead? Is she alive? Is she suffering still?

The man with the answers to Justin's questions soon came through the door. Justin looked up to see blood splattered over Giriko's garments. His gloves were missing today. In their place, dried red caked his hands and Justin assumed the worst had happened to her, despair blossoming in his chest.

"Hah…" The engineer stretched casually as he made his way to his prisoner after closing the door behind him. Justin found himself pressing against the wall again after seeing the crazy, bloodthirsty grin splitting the brunette's face. "Finally it's your turn."

Justin looked up at Giriko, deciding that he would accept this as a punishment for putting Gael into harm's way, not as a punishment for trying to escape. He wanted this punishment. He felt like he needed it for repentance. He hung his head in submission. Only this time, he decided, will he ever submit.

"Is it just me or are you finally giving the fuck up?" Giriko said as he pulled out a whip. He stepped close to the priest to feel his forehead with the back of his hand. "Fever?"

Justin shook his head and changed his expression into a glare. He spat at the man's face and bared his teeth at him. He would want to make this man as angry as possible in order to get the punishment he needed. "Beast! You're nothing but a coward! How dare you lay a hand on a young girl!? You're a sick, disgusting coward!"

The blond got the desired effect. Giriko's mood seemed to grow into an angrier one and his wavelength started rippling out in violent waves. "Why you little fucker," he growled as he backhanded Justin hard on the face, right at the side where his cheek was cut. "You really wanna suffer, don't you!?"

The brunette stepped back and aimed at the blond's body a few times with his fists and knees. He wiped his face then stepped closer to Justin and clasped his chin forcefully so they were eye to eye. Giriko smirked when he saw that there was still a bit of spark in Justin's eyes. He loved it when Justin showed that spark.

"Thought you could best me, didn't you? Ha! You can't even compare equally in a fight anymore," Giriko said. In response, Justin just lifted a leg and attempted to knee Giriko at the crotch but the other had seen it coming and moved away. Giriko simply punched Justin again. "Ha, missed me, you son of a bitch!"

"That all you got?" Justin taunted.

"Oh, so you want more, huh?" Giriko responded with a hard punch to Justin's stomach. The sound of his fist against the other's skin made him grin. The engineer followed it through with more aiming at Justin's sides and at his already bruising spots. He pulled the blond by his hair so he could look into his eyes again. "How you likin' that? Still want more, huh?!"

The brunette watched as Justin coughed up blood and he immediately felt a bit of worry in him. The blond had been too weak from the cold outside and from the past beatings. He'd been given only little time to recover and now it was like he was asking for more.

Giriko would gladly give that. He shouldn't want to. But he does. Something was stopping him and he didn't know what it was, but it was strong enough to waver him and keep him from punishing Justin even more.

The brunette was silent as he lashed at the blond again. He watched Justin accept each one wordlessly. It seemed Justin had become too tired to even give a proper response other than the pained groaning. Or had he finally given up? No, that's impossible. Justin Law would never give in to Giriko, he made it clear multiple times already.

The other's muscles were taut, ready to take the blows. But his face showed that he was only accepting this for his own interest. Giriko knew that he still had the fight in him.

"You shouldn't resist too much, Justin. This kind of punishment won't stop until you've completely given in to me, not until you decide that you've punished yourself enough for her demise." Giriko stopped his attacking and his bloodlust immediately diminished to nothing, turning instead to sobriety. "I know you still have it in you. Your resistance, I mean. So turn your anguish to anger and resist me. Not to punish yourself, but to simply resist me."

He stroked the blond's temple with his index and middle finger, feeling him tense up at the touch. Eyes following, Giriko let his fingers draw an invisible line down his prisoner's cheek, then to his neck, and finally to where his heart was located. Silence and ragged breathing filled the empty walls as their eyes met.

The gaze of the baby blue eyes displayed bemusement, surprise and caution. Giriko felt something in his chest constrict as he saw the pain and the exhaustion behind them. But no. He won't yield to this strange feeling and he'll do what he planned on doing to his rival.

"This heart," he mumbled, unable to stop the words from spilling from his mouth. "What do you hold closest to it?"

Justin didn't answer. Giriko waited, his curiosity keeping him unusually patient and calm. After a moment of watching Justin's eyes and other features convey a good number of emotions, he realized the stupidity of the question and drew his hand back. He cleared his throat as he changed his demeanor to the usual façade and regarded Jason with renewed bloodlust in his eyes, though it was distinctly less angry.

"We'll continue tomorrow with your punishments. I'll personally see to your care from now on and I'll make sure that you won't ever dare escape this prison again. You're going to take my punishments until you submit to me… Until all that will ever plague your thoughts will be me," Giriko announced before he turned and left.

Justin had been left to drown in the confusion of Giriko's sudden change of attitude. The swift change of face and the quick fall of the dangerous thirst for blood was what baffled him most. By asking that, did Giriko mean to find out what else he could use to break Justin further?

Had the engineer asked the question before everything went downhill, Justin would have so many answers for it, though he wouldn't give them to the man simply because he asked of course. But now, after losing everything, Justin realized he didn't have anything that he held close to his heart that the demon spawn could destroy.

And though he knew he should feel victorious over the fact that Giriko had no more to undo him further with, that same knowledge drilled a deep hole inside his chest. All he had to hold close to his heart were memories of the past, threads of friendship and camaraderie that were now cut off by death, and hopes that he'll get out of this hell alive.

But after the attempt of escape and the quick recapture, that ray of hope that Justin Law had so desperately clung onto had shriveled into a very dim and erratic glow, like a flame would to an onslaught of blistering winds. He was losing hope and he knew that only suffering would await him if he chose to remain loyal to the very reason he chose to fight alongside Shibusen.

He reflected upon himself in the next few hours, ignoring the cut circulation of blood to his wrists that numbed his hands. He prayed for Gael's soul, for the souls of his friends, for salvation. Nothing could have prepared him to see the door to his cell open to reveal Gael.

The girl swiftly entered, locking the door behind her. As she shuffled closer, Justin noticed a slight limp, though her dark cloak was covering most of her body. She also had an enlarged right eye, swelling and darkening to a rich purple shade. Her lips had traces of dried blood on them, making them unevenly shaded. The girl looked pitiful and tired as she rushed to Justin, but her eyes were alert.

"Shh. I've only a short time," she mumbled as she rushed towards Justin. She made no move to unchain him. Instead, she exposed her hands, revealing a piece of bread and a tin cup filled with water. "Eat and drink. I'll fill you in on what I've only recently learned. Don't say anything."

Justin watched the girl break the bread into bitable sizes. "Allies might have come to save you," she said as she thrust the smaller portion of the bread into Justin's mouth. It wasn't drugged fortunately. But what the girl said was what caught the blond by surprise, but he chose not to say anything and let her speak before he assumed anything. "At least, I think so. I have heard that the west walls have been attacked today by a man. People around here have wondered if he had been part of Shibusen. I don't know much about his features, I'm sorry. According to what I overheard, a woman was accompanying him."

Gael fed him another piece of bread after Justin's secondary shock. She then continued to inform him while alternating between feeding him and waiting for him to finish his rock-like food. "The attack happened shortly after we were captured," she continued. "They drew most of the forces to battle and beat them with ease. They were demanding for you, according to the man I overheard. Stationed guards at the west wall have seen them multiple times already in the past week, giving chase to them but failing to capture them. And that's pretty much it. I didn't hear how they were chased away or if they left shortly after attacking. I feared that I might be caught after carelessly slipping and making a sound so I had to leave right away."

Justin had finished the small piece of the hard-crusted bread by then. He was next given water. He drank it without caring much for some of it falling past his lips and chin. The bread had been too dry and he'd been deprived of water this much at all so he drank in as much as he could in as little time as possible, but he mostly drank in that manner because Gael had started hurrying after a clatter rang a distance outside.

The girl left with much haste, taking the cup with her and limping as quickly as she could to the door. Justin had wanted to ask her so many things but the decision of staying silent until she finished her report was not regretted.

Now, the blond believer felt a new ray of hope surge through the darkness that was despair. And the self-depreciation and regret had vanished and relief replaced it. Gael, though harmed, was alive and seemed safe.

All he had to worry about now was the identities of the duo that attacked the west walls. Giriko had told him that other forces were after him. Justin firmly believed that it was a lie to trick him into giving in to the brute only until now. If that lie was actually truth, what would happen if they reached Justin? Would they maim him? Would they kill him? What if they were actually remnants of Shibusen who wished to exact revenge? What if he wasn't the sole survivor of the attack on the school?

Justin had only limited chances now but he decided he would not lost hope. He would try again to escape this hell and he vowed that the next time, Gael would be safe from any harm and they would succeed. If he could just get enough time to recuperate and speak with Gael without anybody else knowing, then they had a chance. And he would risk anything just to get by and take that chance. Justin's lost enough already. He didn't want to lose more.


A/N: Long absence. Finally, I've got this thing going. Nyahahahaha! Erm seoo herrpiii! (Forgive me, I'm high because of lack of sleep)

Anyways, I'm too tired to check it all over again. Just wanted to give it to you guys as soon as possible. Thanks for waiting, you guys are amazing. I'll make sure that all your waiting would be worth it in the end (of the story). So please, R&R! ^^

Okay... Imma be sleepin' now~ = 3=