Here it is, nice and quickly for you. Thank you to Aileen, Krissie, Hollie and Em. Enjoy!
A month was 28 days. 730 hours. 42 839 minutes. That was how long Luke had been unconscious for. But for Jess and Dan it felt so much longer; it felt like a lifetime since they had seen their son open his emerald green eyes; it felt like a lifetime since they had seen their son smile, all cheekiness; it felt like a lifetime since they had seen their son alive. Every day when Jess and Dan went to the hospital and were told that there had been no change, a tiny slither of their hearts curled up and died. For they knew that the longer it took Luke to wake up, the worse the damage would be. Jess knew that the doctors didn't think that her boy would ever wake up again, but she knew they were wrong. Luke was so strong, they just had to give him time, that was all. Jess was snapped out her reverie by Dan's voice. She lifted her head off the bed, her hand hot around Luke's cold one.
"Jess honey, come on, wake up. Time to go home." Dan whispered in her ear, prising her away from Luke. This happened everyday. As soon as her shift at work was finished, she would stay with Luke at the hospital until Dan had to physically drag her home to bed. Dan supported Jess through the ICU out to the ward. "The doctors want to speak to us."
Jess' mind suddenly became clear, "Why? What for?"
"Shh, don't panic. I don't know why. Let's just sit here and Mr Chambers will be with us in a minute." Dan said soothingly, leading Jess to a chair and sitting next to her.
"Mr and Mrs Waite, thank you for waiting. If you want to come through to my office where we can talk." Mr Chamber said, leading the couple to his small office. "Take a seat. Now, do you know why I wanted to talk to you?"
"No, we have no idea." Dan answered, feeling Jess cling onto his hand.
"Right, it's to talk about Luke's prognosis. He's been in a coma for a month now, and there's been no change. He was taken for a brain scan today, and the brain activity is slowly decreasing. The machines are doing all the work, because his body is shutting down. Eventually his brain activity is going to be zero. Do you understand what that means?" Mr Chambers asked.
Jess sat there, staring straight into Mr Chamber's dark eyes. She wondered how many times he had this conversation with parents like her, "Are you saying that my son is in a vegetative state?"
"Yes. He's at the point now where there is no way he could wake up, and even if by some miracle he did, he would be severely disabled." Mr Chamber's said delicately.
"He really isn't going to wake up?" Dan asked, shell shocked.
"I'm afraid not. I wanted to talk to you about turning the machines off." Mr Chambers said quietly.
"What? You can't be serious!" Jess screamed, standing up quickly, wrenching her hand out of Dan's.
"Jess sit down..." Dan said, looking up at his wife.
"Sit down?! Did you hear what he just said? They want to turn off Luke's machines! He'll die without them!" Jess said, her voice rising into hysterics.
"I know. I think they're right." Dan said quietly, looking down.
Jess felt like Dan had just got a knife and plunged it into her heart, twisting it as he went. "No, you cannot give up on him! You are his father. Now you listen to me, you do not have my permission to touch those machines in any way unless it is to help him get better. Do you understand me?" Jess said menacingly, looking straight at the doctor.
"Mrs Waite..."
"No, I don't want to hear it." Jess cut him off, running out of the doctor's office and through the hospital.
*
Jess was sat on the kerb outside in the cold night air. Her arms were wrapped around her knees, her face pressed into the dark hole between her knees and her body. She couldn't believe the doctor had even suggested it, that Dan had agreed! She was so angry her whole body was shaking. She abruptly got up, her hands shaking by her side. She walked out of the dark hospital grounds, not really knowing where she was headed, but anywhere was better than near Dan. She crossed the road, not looking where she was going. A screech of tyres alerted her to the fact that she had almost been hit, but she didn't care.
"Oi!" a male voice said, and Jess could hear it getting closer. "I almost hit you!" Jess ignored the voice and carried on. "Hey! I'm talking to you!" The person put their hand on Jess' shoulder, spinning them around.
Jess looked shocked, "Callum?"
"That was you? You walked straight in front of the car! I nearly hit you!" Callum said, taking in Jess properly.
"Sorry." Jess said, making to carry on wherever she was going.
"Do you need a lift?" Callum asked.
"No." Jess replied bluntly.
"How's Luke doing?" Callum pressed, not realising what he had just unleashed.
Jess sank down the side of a building, her chest frantically moving with her cries. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, where her son had grown for nine months. She so wished he was still safe inside her, not in this harsh world. Her cries grew louder and louder until she was screaming. Callum placed his hands on either side of Jess' face, making her look at him.
"Talk to me Jess." he said simply, his eyes searching her face and body for any sign of physical injuries.
"Luke's dying!" Jess wailed, not able to control the sounds coming out of her. It was like all her pain for her son was manifesting itself in these god awful screams, screams which pierced your heart and left you clutching it as if making sure it was still whole. Callum paused in checking, his eyes sweeping back to her face.
"I am so sorry, if I had known..." Callum began, taking his hands off her face.
"You would have what? Ignored the fact that he's practically dead already? Ignored the fact that Dan wants to turn off his machines? Ignored the fact that it could have been my own husbands fault that my son is this way?" Jess asked, her green eyes swimming in tears.
Callum couldn't help it, he pulled Jess to him in an enveloping hug. He had wanted to do this for so long, but not in this way. Not while she was hurting, while she was being cleaved in two by her love for her son and her love for her husband. "It's ok, you're going to be fine."
"No Callum, it's not ok and it'll never be ok. I have to decide whether to kill my son or not! And I am not ok with that!" Jess cried, her head on Callum's shoulder.
Callum didn't know what to say to her to make her feel better. He could never understand what they were going through. So he just sat there with her on the cold pavement in the cold night, waiting for her cries to peter out.
*
Callum dropped Jess off at her home when he was satisfied that she was as ok as she could be.
"Thanks sarge." Jess said quietly, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"It's alright. Now I think you should take some more time off, maybe you came back to work too soon." Callum suggested.
"That's kind of you sarge, but I need to work. I'll see you tomorrow." Jess said, avoiding his gaze. She slowly climbed up the steps to her house, breathing a sigh of relief when she heard the patrol car pull away. She was about to put her key in the lock when the door was wrenched open by Dan.
"Jess! Where the hell have you been? I called your mobile ten times and the house phone and the station..."
"I'm fine. I'm here now." Jess said mechanically, pushing past him into the house and heading for the kitchen.
"Jess I'm trying to talk to you, don't walk away from me!" she heard him call from the hallway.
"I don't want to talk to you." Jess said quietly. She bent down to the cupboard with the drink in, and as she had grasped the bottle, she felt something slam into the top of her head. Her knees buckled and she fell onto the wooden floor, the bottle of vodka forgotten as the pain impounded on her senses. She could see a mixture of tears and blood pooling on the floor, dripping from her head. Her hands covered the place where the blood was coming from; she had no clue what had just happened. She looked up, trying to see if Dan was close enough to call for help, but when she turned she saw his legs right next to her. She looked up to see him standing over her, a blank look on his face.
"I said that I wanted to talk you." Dan said, a dangerous lilt to his voice.
Jess pressed her eyes together, trying to get rid of the excruciating pain at the top of her head. "You said you wouldn't touch me again! You promised!" she managed to get out.
"That was before. How can we make things better if you won't talk to me, hmm?" Dan asked quietly, stooping so that his face was level with hers.
"Get away from me!" Jess cried, trying to push herself away from him, but her knee slipped in the blood on the floor, and she ended up nearly falling face first to the floor.
"No, you're not going to get away from me again." Dan said, straightening up.
"No please Dan. Leave me!" Jess cried as he came closer towards her.
"No. You accused me of hurting Luke when it was an accident, it wasn't my fault!" Dan said, a menacing note in his voice.
"So it was you! YOU DID THIS TO HIM!" Jess screamed. She used all her energy to push herself to her feet, one hand grasping the counter for support.
"No, you did this to him. You should have been home, but you were too busy working." Dan accused, stepping over the blood.
Jess looked to her left, seeing the butchers block with the knives in. She slowly moved her hand towards them, keeping her eyes on Dan's face. But too late, his eyes dropped and he saw where her hand was heading. He lunged at her, knocking her hand away from the knives, both of them ending up on the floor. Jess was pinned underneath the weight of Dan's body; she had no more energy to do anything but lay there. As the blood left her body, so did her energy, and she felt relieved that the pain would soon go as unconsciousness took her. Dan stood up, spitting at his wife's motionless body before stepping over her and leaving the house.
*
"Jess? Jess are you in?" Callum called through the letterbox. A neighbour had rung in five minutes ago, worrying that something was wrong next door. As soon as the address had been read out, Callum knew it was Jess and Dan's house. He took the shout, grabbing Nate from the canteen before speeding to the house. His mind wandered to what Dan had done to her last time, and he dreaded to think what had happened to her now. They skidded to a halt in front of the house, the lights still flashing.
"Nate, go quickly find out what the neighbour heard." Callum instructed, running up the steps to the house. "Jess, Jess it's sergeant Stone. Can you open the door?"
"Sarge, the woman next door just said she heard shouting, what sounded like Jess saying..." Nate paused to look at what he had written, ""You did this to him." That's what Jess shouted, and then things went quiet again."
"Well there's no answer, I think we should kick it in." Callum said, looking at Nate.
Nate looked unsure, "Sarge it was probably just a normal married couples row."
"I don't think so. I'm kicking it in, whether you want to pretend you knew that I was going to or not is a different thing. Move back." Callum ordered, balancing on the top step as he kicked his left leg at the door. After two kicks the lock gave way, granting entry to the house. "Jess?"
"Jess? It's Nate! Where are you?" Nate shouted into the house. He followed Callum down the hall, peering into the living room, then the dining room, then happening on the kitchen. "SARGE!"
Callum sprinted to the kitchen, a gruesome sight meeting his eyes. Jess was laying sprawled on the floor next to a table, a small pool of blood under her head, her hands sticky with the redness, and another much bigger pool of blood next to an open cupboard a few feet away from her. "Jess? Can you hear me darlin'?" Callum asked, shaking her shoulders.
"This is an ambulance call. We need an ambulance to 3 Morris Road, that's 3 Morris Road. Woman in her early twenties is unconscious with a severe injury to the head. We urgently require an ambulance. Over." Nate said into his radio, running to grab a tea towel, pressing it against the head wound.
"Jess? Come on, wake up. We need you to open your eyes!" Callum begged.
"What do you think happened?" Nate asked, his eyes scanning the scene in front of them.
"I can only imagine." Callum said, suddenly so angry. "I'm going to call this in, alright? Sierra oscar 30 to Sierra Oscar 1?"
"Go ahead Callum." Gina said.
"We're at Jess' house. We found her unconscious on the floor in the kitchen. She's suffered a massive head wound, we've called for an ambulance but she's in a serious way, over." Callum said, his eyes returning to Jess' motionless body.
"Do you know what happened?" Gina asked, running to the Sergeants office to inform Smithy.
"No, the neighbour just said she could hear shouting and then it went quiet. Oh, the paramedics are here, I'll update you when we get to the hospital. Over." Callum said, running to meet the paramedics. "She's through here."
"Alright darling, what happened?" a female paramedic with short blonde hair asked.
"We kicked the door in and found her in here about five minutes ago. She's been unconscious throughout." Nate replied as the woman knelt next to him, slipping oxygen onto Jess' face.
"Alright, my name is Dixie, this is Jeff. What's her name?" Dixie asked.
"Jess, her name is Jessica Waite. She's 22 years old." Callum said, watching as Dixie and Jeff worked on Jess.
"Jess? Can you hear me darling? We're paramedics, we're going to look after you and take you to hospital." Dixie said to Jess' prone body, checking the rest of her body for injuries.
"Thanks mate, can I just take a look at her head?" Jeff asked, a gauze pad in one hand. Nate moved his hand away, only a small amount of blood coming out the wound now. "Alright princess, I'm just going to put this bandage around your head to stem the bleeding."
"Can she hear you?" Nate asked, moving out the way.
"Possibly. We're going to get her to the hospital now, does one of you want to come with us?" Dixie asked, lifting Jess onto the stretcher with Jeff.
"Sarge?" Nate questioned.
"Yeah, you go with them Nate, I'll meet you at the hospital. We need to get CSE down here anyway." Callum said with a nod. He watched as Jess was wheeled out on a stretcher, closely followed by Nate. And then he was alone.
*
Jess awoke a few hours later in an unfamiliar place. She blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the sandpaper feeling on her eyes. Once that had cleared, she tried to sit up, but was struck by nausea. She laid back down, shutting her eyes again.
"Jess? Are you awake?" she heard a voice say to her.
She opened her eyes again, looking to her left where the voice had come from. Sat on a chair next to her bed was the Inspector. "Ma'am?" she said weakly.
"It's ok, don't try and talk. You're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened? Just nod or shake." Gina said.
Jess tried to think back, but all she could remember was being with Callum after running off from the hospital. She shook her head.
"Alright, that's ok. Callum and Nate found you in your kitchen, you were unconscious. Your neighbour had rung in about the shouting coming from the house. Do you remember that?" Gina asked gently.
Jess cast her mind back, and then she remembered what had happened. She wasn't listening to him and he got bad, slamming the kitchen cabinet door into her head. She slowly nodded, biting her lip to stop the tears. "He slammed the cabinet door into my head."
Gina sat in silence, shocked, "Who Dan?"
Jess nodded, "I wasn't listening to him, that's why." She didn't care that the Inspector didn't know about the domestic abuse, she just wanted it to be over.
"Ok, I'm just going to be outside, I need to talk to Callum." Gina said, touching Jess' hand before leaving the cubicle. Jess sat up, needing to see Luke, to make sure that Dan wasn't with him. She slipped out of bed, peering through the gap in the cubicle curtain to see where the Inspector was. She could see her talking to Callum at the other end of the ward, so Jess pulled her clothes on which were on a pile on the chair, and walked out of the ward. She headed through the now familiar corridors of the hospital until she reached the ICU. There, sat on a chair next to Luke's bed was Dan. She pressed in the key which would open the doors to the ICU. It was if that evening had never happened when she saw Dan, tears streaming down his face, one of Luke's hands pressed to Dan's cheek. He looked up as Jess came in, a disgusted look on his face. He slowly got up, heading to Jess.
"I am so, so sorry. I don't know what the hell came over me." Dan begged, his hands on her shoulders. Jess nodded quickly, the movement making her feel sick again. Dan saw the colour drain from her face, and he pushed her to the chair. "Ok?"
"Yeah. I give my consent." Jess said quietly, and at first Dan wasn't sure if he had heard her correctly.
"What?" he questioned.
"He's not going to wake up is he?" Jess asked, breaking down into tears. Dan sat on the chair, pulling Jess onto his lap. Her arms wound around his neck, burrowing her head ont his chest.
"No he's not." Dan said sadly, and Jess could hear his voice breaking as well.
"I don't want him to suffer anymore." Jess cried.
"Me either." Dan agreed.
"But I'm too selfish. I need him!" Jess gasped, like a fish out of water.
"I know, honey. But we need to do this, for him. I don't want to watch him disappear in front of our eyes, turning into someone we don't know." Dan said gently.
"Ok. Tell Mr Chambers we're ready." Jess said quietly.
"Jess?" Dan said, getting up.
"What?" Jess asked, looking into Dan's grey eyes.
"I really am sorry for everything. I don't know why you keep taking me back." Dan said sadly.
"Neither do I, but I think it's love." she said quietly.
*
Dan returned half an hour later with Mr Chambers.
"Mrs Waite? You husband tells me you've given consent. Is that right?" Mr Chambers asked, noting the dressing on Jess' head.
"Yeah. I don't want him to suffer anymore." Jess said, with a nod.
"Ok then. When you're ready, let me know, and I'll turn it off." Mr Chambers said.
"Can I hold him please?" Jess asked, swallowing back the tears.
"Of course you can. You can get on the bed with him if you want." Mr Chambers said. Jess nodded, climbing up onto the hospital bed and curling herself around her son. Dan sat on Luke's other side, his arm around Luke and Jess.
"Hey baby. We're here now, mummy and daddy are here. And you're going to be just fine. We'll be with you all the way, I promise. And I want you to be a good boy. We'll never forget you Lukie, never. I love you." Jess cried, kissing Luke's forehead. She turned and nodded to Mr Chambers who turned off the machine and unhooked some of the cables.
"Sleep tight Luke. We'll see you soon." Dan said, kissing his son's head.
"I don't want him to die!" Jess whispered, sniffing.
"Neither do I." Dan said, a tear trickling down his face and onto the pillow. The machine started to beep, and then the one long beep signalling that Luke's heart had stopped began.
