Note: This is a note to my readers, just clearing up a few things. You'll know who I'm talking to. 1) I did the dog thing on purpose. I remember you telling me that story. Go easter eggs! 2) I've read "A Child Called It", and I've also read the sequel (what's it called again?). Dave Pelzer's story makes my heart sink. I semi-based it off of that... That's actually the first thing I thought of when writing this story! Especially about him sleeping on a cot in the garage. That part touched me deeply in the sequel (I think that's where he mentions it). Awesome to see someone else who's read it! 3) I LOVE MISTAH J!

Okay, on with the story.

--

Planning. Getting revenge on someone sure involved a lot of planning. There was the method of revenge, the strength, the humiliation... There was so much to consider. One thing I did know without having to plan was the fact that I wanted it to be the most excruciating thing my parents have ever experienced, to prove what I had to go through all of these years. Of course, no kind of torture could ever amount to that, so I'd go with as much as I could possibly compare to. Whatever I did, they'd be dead when I got finished with them.

It was simple, really. I'd kill them, and not get caught. It couldn't possibly be that hard, if you just planned things carefully enough the first time. You had to get detailed... Down with the nitty-gritty, and then you'd be all set. You could get away with things if you were patient.

I knew this too well. There was so much I got away with at home... Nothing to the extent of murder, of course, but things like stealing wouldn't be out of my comfort zone.

Murder was now in my comfort zone.

My parents deserved to die. They had no right to treat me the way that they did... no right at all. I went through 17 whole years of pain, and they would pay.

"Life's a joke, Harley. I was always at the butt of it. But, now my parents... They'll be the punchline to this one. It'll be the funniest joke you've ever heard!" I sat at the kitchen table with Harley discussing my parents' demise. Her roommate, Miss Isley, worked pretty much 24/7, with the exception of Sundays, and even when she was home she was studying her plants, so we'd have plenty of time to discuss this in private. Harley explained to her that I needed extensive psychological help, so she'd be happy to do it in the comfort of her own home, seeing as I had no comfort in my home. Miss Isley had easily agreed to it without any complaint.

And here we sat.

"That's right, Mistah J! The funniest joke ya ever heard! Good one!" She was always supportive of me. She had become that bubbling, humorous girl I'd seen in the picture right before my eyes, and I was glad for it. She was completely mine, now, willing to do everything on my whim.

"I'm sick and tired of being laughed at, Harley!"

"Sick and tired, Mistah J!"

"I'm not gonna be the butt of the joke any longer!"

"Nevermore!"

"From now on, my parents have taken my place as second banana!"

"You are second banana no more!"

"Just wait 'till they get the punchline! It'll kill 'em!"

"That's right, Mistah J! It'll kill them!" We shared a laugh. She was so...comforting. She was someone you could laugh with, cry with, do just about anything with, and she'd support you the entire way.

She smiled and poked my nose. "You're quite the joker, Mistah J." All was quiet. A slow smile rose on my face.

"That's it, Harley!" I said with a grin as I grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her. "You're a genius!"

"I am? I mean... I am! ...For what?" she asked, blinking. I leaned in closer to her and gave her a smooch on the lips, then shoved her away. I stood up triumphantly, clenching my own fist.

"Quite the joker... The Joker." I looked at her, smiling. "From now on... I am... The Joker!" I beamed as I grabbed her again by the shoulders. She was grinning too, sharing my joy.

"The Joker and Harley Quinn! It's perfect, Mistah J!"

"Perfect..." I said, repeating her words. "That's right, Cupcake. It's perfect."

--

The next few days went as planned. I didn't see much from Bruce (which was good- save me the embarrassment) or his buddies. I didn't really see much of anyone. I was too focused... Too focused on the plan. Every day, I'd break out in a fight or meander off, or talk of dark things- anything to get me sent to "Miss Quinzel's" office. There, we'd discuss the plan. After school, I went straight to Harley's house to talk about the plan as well. Everything fit together like a puzzle- the events unfolded perfectly. Piece by piece, it worked out.

Then one day, everything fell apart.

We were in Harley's house. Miss Isley was on a trip to the Amazon once again for research. She would be gone for a good three weeks, giving us plenty of time to plan. That particular day had started off well. I'd thought up the perfect addition to our plan.

The method.

"Cupcake, I've thought up something you're gonna love," I told her, leaning back in my chair with my arms crossed behind my head. I was already beaming to myself. It was just too perfect.

"What is it, Puddin'?" Harley said. She'd taken up the new nickname. Again, it was cute. I suddenly uncrossed my arms and leaned forward.

"We poison them. But not just any poison... A special kind of poison."

I'd always been very interested in chemistry. I had actually once belonged to a science club. I would have still probably been if it weren't for the fact that I absolutely didn't fit in with the rest of the group, and the fact that when Mother found out, she immediately stopped me.

Anyway, I'd find cleaning solutions around the house, usually toxic ones. I preferred ones that could cause a lot of damage, for they were very interesting to combine with things. I'd even figured out that you could make a deadly gas with ammonia and bleach, at the cost of our cat.

One day, at night, thinking of plans, I'd thought up the perfect idea that I'd use my chemical knowledge to my advantage. I'd make a sort of... potion.

There was a toxic waste at one of the old ethanol plants that they discarded in big vats in the outskirts of town. I'd found it interesting ever since I'd heard about it, and had to immediately get my hands on some. I sneaked into the facility and stole about a water bottle's worth of it.

I'd caught some animals to test it on- squirrels, chipmunks, anything that was stupid enough to fall into my traps that I'd set out. I decided to test small amounts of the toxic waste on the animals skin to figure out if it was too toxic and would just kill them or if it would do something else.

I found something downright incredible. The toxic waste that I'd dripped onto the squirrel's back had dyed the fur green and bleached the skin a ghastly white.

It was perfect. It reminded me of some sort of clown... Strange colored, almost humorous looking. And that's when I thought of it.

I wanted it to smile.

I wanted the creature to be smiling when it died. I didn't know how to do it, but I wanted it to smile. As I said, the world is a big joke. And my parents would die laughing at it.

I didn't know any kind of chemical that could make you smile when you died, but I knew of one person that might.

"What kind of special poison, Puddin'?" Harley had asked me, tilting her head to the side. I smiled, holding her close to me.

"The world is a joke, Harley. My parents are gonna die laughing at it. I have part of the solution, but someone as the other end of it. The smile."

"The smile?" Harley had repeated. "Like, laughing at the joke, Mistah J?"

"Exactly, my sweet," I told her with a grin. "That person is a little man by the name of Johnathan Crane."

--

There you go! I'm bringing in the Scarecrow! How do you like the change? He's not quite there yet, but he's getting there... Things are shaping up just how I wanted them to! Sorry about the wait- I was shopping, and I couldn't think of anything to write at 1 in the morning! Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review!