Chapter - 7
Heaven or Hell with Heart and Mind
Katherine sat in her office in deep thought. She was sure that with Tommy taking care of Troy , he would be fine, but Troy didn't see it that way. Katherine let out a sigh. She knew this would be a turning point in their lives. Hayley now had a son , and she was happy for her. She remembered what Tommy had said few years ago about Hayley not being able to have children. She had forgotten 'why?' Anyway she was sure her present plan would work. The knock on her door came sooner than expected.
"Come in." she said.
"You called me, Ms. Hillard ?" the young, dark haired teenager asked.
"Yes Troy, take a seat." Katherine said as she calmed her breathing.
Troy looked hesitant the moment that was said and he sulked as he sat down.
"I am sure you are wondering why I called you so I'll get to the point." Ms. Hillard said. "You have spent almost ten years getting shuffled through orphanages and foster homes , and I know how disturbing that can be for a boy your age_"
"Ms. Hillard don't bother, its just two more years and I'll be eighteen. You can get rid of me then." Troy interrupted.
Katherine was surprised. Never had she thought of herself to be the Matron who pushed kids into the rain or burning sun when they turned eighteen. (It had been a poem in her high school english class.) . She quickly put on her calm look and said , "Yes Troy, you have two more years to go, and that is why I want you to have a life the other children are not lucky to have , and for that very reason you are going to listen to this. This is not rehearsed nor has it been receited out of a paper, it is truly from the bottom of the heart."
This seemed to get Troy's attention. For the first time he looked at Ms. Hillards face. Katherine played the recording
"But surely the court will take...
This doesn't matter to me hearing what he has gone through has made me determined to help him and I am sure Hayley supports me too.
Certainly . Its our responsibility. He is our nephew and we have to help him. If he has never trusted anyone after his parents because of this betrayal, we have to teach him to trust. He's a teenager and he needs support and we are ready to give it to him wholeheartedly throughout our lives."
The expression on Troy's face; Oh God ! Katherine knew she had won. She had to resist the urge to jump up and say 'yes !'
"They actually said that " Troy asked quietly.
"Yes."
Troy slowly got up from his seat and went out without saying a single word. It was like a dream to knew now that his Aunt's name was Hayley, and his heart was slowly beginning to warm up towards her, but 'No Way !' he thought, this should not be happening. The world was fooling him again. Dejected he sat on the swing. He did nto know who to trust and who not to trust. Ms. Hillard obviously trusted these two people , for what reason ? he did not know. He had decided when he was thirteen that he would never ever believe in getting adopted or loved anymore. He had decided that such things would be out of his dictionary, but now both adopted and getting loved were both an inch away from him. He shook these thoughts away. He would say 'No.' . He substituted adopted and loved as Betrayal and hatred. Katherine watched from a distance. It was Troy's decision now, and she hoped he would make the right decision.
She took the documents, she had to get it to the court now.
About 5 hours later.
She had seen the young teenager many times for dinner. He would always sit away from the rest of the crowd, and do his own thing. She knew he was a disturbed boy. Not a very rare thing in a place where teenagers shuffled from one end of the country to another, but this was different, more like he was afraid to participate, afraid to get loved, afraid of losing. The other day she had seen the boy getting scolded by Sister Lousiana for not being with the group. Apparently the boy had wandered off from the museum and walked home. She approached him.
" Its 6:00 p.m kiddo, time to go to your room."
Troy looked at the lady. He had seen her a couple of times during dinner.
"I'll go at 7:00." he said and continued looking at the ground.
Sister Mary sighed. "Ok kid. So, tell me , what is your problem ?"
"Why should you know ?" Troy asked back.
"because , that is why I am here for; to help children like you. To talk to children who are afraid to talk. To make a friend you need to choose words carefully. To please a couple, you have to put on your best behaviour, you have to be what they want you to be and not who you yourself want to be. You don't have to do all that. You just talk whatever you want, whatever is in your mind. I will listen."
"I don't know who to trust or what to trust." Troy blurted out.
Sister Mary laughed, and Troy scowled at her.
"Ofcourse." she said and laughed again. "Do you trust yourself kid ?"
Troy blinked.
"Yeah."
"Then you have nothing to worry about . Trust what you have to tell yourself. "
"What ?"
"Its just like in Martial arts kid, you trust your instincts and make a move to put down your opponent . How do you know a roundhouse kick will do the trick ? You just have to believe then right ?" Sister Mary said and Troy looked at her surprised.
"Yeah. I know. I saw you on T. V."
Troy sighed. "These two people want to adopt me, and I don't know what to do ."
"What does your heart tell you ? Trust that. That is always the right decision." Sister Mary said.
"I don't know. I mean everyone says trust your heart I can't diferentiate between logic and heart."
"Kid, you stay away from love because of past experience. Now, two people want to adopt you, and you have two voices in your head 'yes' and 'no'. 'Yes' is the new voice that wants love, you want love, your heart is telling you to grab it, but 'No' is your brain warning you to stay away because of fear. So, now you decide." Sister Mary said and smiled at the boy.
"Be sure you get in at 7:00" she said and left Troy to his thoughts.
Troy sat there for a long time thinking about what the lady said. He knew what he had to do. He would just have to risk it.
