Clare knows. She knows. I know she knows. I know she knows because she wouldn't look at me in the eyes. Should I tell her? God, she'd freak…
I hear the soft sound of running water upstairs as I clean up our breakfast. I make my way upstairs to my room and I hear the shower going in my bathroom. Knowing I'd have no interruptions for at least ten minutes, I retrieve my picture of Julia from behind my bed.
Thank God Clare didn't find this picture of you, Jules.
I back up against the wall and slide down until I am sitting on the floor with the picture in my hands. The picture was taken on our sixth month anniversary, and it was my last full day with her. I looked at my old self- colorful, happy, and carefree. Not that I'm not happy or carefree, but I was happier back then.
Maybe I should tell Clare. She deserves to know what's up if I'm going to have a relationship with her…
Hey Clare, guess what? Last year I killed my girlfriend.
I shiver, thinking of what her reaction might be. Maybe she would become too scared of me, and would leave before I could explain. Maybe she wouldn't trust me anymore. Maybe she would understand and we could live happily ever after.
Phhhht. Yeah right. Listen to yourself, Eli. Happy endings don't exist. And I bet fate is willing to teach you that lesson by making another girlfriend die.
I gently trace my finger over Julia's golden curls. They were what made me notice her the first day I saw her. I remember how I loved to touch them- they would feel like silk against my skin… sort of like Clare's.
Oh, God. Listen to me. I can't even think about Julia without thinking of Clare. What would Julia think of her? Jules, what do you think of her?
With that last thought, I hear the water shut off in the bathroom. I quickly get up and stick the picture back in its place behind my bed. The door to my bathroom opens right as I stand up, and Clare emerges with a towel wrapped around her. She notices me right away, and her cheeks flush a light pink. I smirk, mainly because I love that affect I have on her, and not for any other reason.
Key world, mainly.
"You can change in here and I'll change in the bathroom in the hall." I grab a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a black and grey striped v-neck out of my drawer and walk out. I'm deciding to make things as normal as between us as possible today. No more awkwardness like at breakfast. I'm going to tell Clare, because it's what I have to do. It's the best thing for our relationship, and I'm not letting her out of my life.
About fifteen minutes later, I wait outside my bedroom door for Clare. She emerges a few moments later, dressed and looking refreshed. I was so close to the door that she almost bumped into me. She blushed, and I wrapped my arm around her waist as I led her down the stairs.
"We're going somewhere today." I announce, getting more anxious with every passing second.
"And where's that?" She asked, sounding more interested than usual.
"That's for me to know, and for you to find out," I say, adding a smirk as we leave my house and I open the door of my hearse so she can get in.
"Nothing makes sense today…" I hear Clare say under her breath. I pretend I didn't hear it, and I start to drive.
We drive for about an hour in silence before we reach our destination. I see Clare look out the window in shock.
"A beach? Why did you bring me to a beach? It's only April."
"I didn't bring you to swim, Clare," I respond with a smirk. We get out of my hearse and I take her hand as we navigate the sandy shore. I was looking for a certain spot.
"Where are we going, Eli?" Clare asked, clearly confused.
"Just trust me, okay?" I say, with a small smile on my face. Being at this place brought back many memories, mostly good. There was one memory I have tried so hard to block out, but no matter how hard I tried, it always haunted me.
We walked about a hundred more feet until we come upon a ring of rocks with a big boulder in the center.
"Eli…" I hear her whisper. The boulder in the center of the ring was shaped as a heart. It was where Julia and I met.
I say nothing as I climb up on the flat top on the boulder and help Clare up as well. We sit in awkward silence for a while.
"Eli, why… why did you bring me here?" She asks. I look right into her eyes at that moment. Her sapphire eyes were brimming with curiosity. I take a huge breath. This wasn't going to be easy.
"Clare, I know you know about Julia." Clare looks away real fast. It seemed like she didn't know what to say, so I keep talking.
"She was an old girlfriend, Clare. I know I was talking about her in my sleep. I was hoping it wouldn't happen last night, but it did." I look into the clear blue sky, thinking about the dream I had last night.
"You didn't just talk in your sleep." Clare said, looking right at me. "When I was trying to get out of bed, you pulled me toward you, and said 'I'm not letting you get away from me that easily.' Then you called me Julia a few times, and started shouting."
I knew she was leaving out the part of her telling me she loved me. I thought it was Julia in my dream. She also left out the part when I kissed her neck.
"Who was she, Eli?" Clare asked. She obviously didn't know what really happened to Julia. I take a deep breath. There's no going back now.
"This rock is where she and I met. We were at the beach by ourselves, and no one else was around. We both came to get away from out parents. She was my ex girlfriend."
Clare is looking at me as I tell the story, inhaling every part of it. I take another deep breath and continue.
"Near the end of our relationship, she started having problems. Julia started going… crazy. She said she heard voices in her head, and that her parents didn't believe her. She would say 'Help me Eli, they get louder every day. They tell me evil things I should do to myself and the people around me.' We came to this rock the day after our sixth month anniversary, because it seemed to be the only place where the 'voices' would shut up. But we got into a fight... a bad one. I was angry that day anyway, my parents yelled at me for staying with Julia. They hated her being around them. They didn't feel safe around her. She was, unstable, at that point, to sum it up. Well anyway, we were on this very rock, when she said to me 'Eli, I hear them here! They found me! They found me!' Now I was a different person back then. I didn't care as much about people than I do now. I yelled at her 'Shut up! You're going crazy on me! Just cool it!'"
I sneak a peek at Clare, whose eyes were brimming with tears. I continue with what happened that moment.
"As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were wrong. I tried to calm her down, I apologized, but she ran off, screaming and sobbing. I lost her after ten minutes of running. She was too fast. I had no choice but to go home after two hours of searching. When I got home, I received news that Julia swallowed a bottle of pills. She killed herself, Clare, because of me. I killed her."
I put my hands over my face, to try to stop the tears, but they slowly dripped out of my eyes as soon as Clare put her hand on my back.
"Eli, it's not your fault. You didn't put those pills down her throat. You didn't know." Clare said in a gentle voice. By this time, I had stopped tearing up, and I pushed a stray curl out of her face and lifted her chin up.
"You always have the perfect thing to say…" I say quietly.
And with that, I lean in and press my lips against hers. After a few moments, her lips fall into the same rhythm as mine, and I feel like I could float.
Behind the two lovers, stood a sign, explaining the myth of the boulder.
Many Hearts of Stone were lightened after a kiss.
A kiss from their soul mate.
And those two shall always be together
forever.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI OR ITS CHARACTERS!
Authors note: AAAHHHH! I havent updated in forever! I think I was discouraged by the low number of hits. I went from 1.06 thousand kits to 10 in four days. Thats notttt cool lol
I made this chapter longer, because I think it needed to be. And dont you worry, plenty of interesting things will happen with Eli and Clare when they at his house alone... as a couple... x]
