Thank you so much to BBC Shipper for helping me with this chapter!


Timothy had completed his homework in record time and decided he would probably need to look at it again tomorrow, he was just too excited to concentrate. He was to embark on a real adventure with Shelagh and he could think of little else. He had always liked Sister Bernadette, she would always make time for him when everyone else was busy rushing around, it made him feel special like his mum used to. And now, she was going to marry his dad and move in with them, it was just smashing.

He combed his hair again and looked at the clock, "Hmm, ten minutes." He pulled the letter from his pocket and read through it again, feeling a great deal of responsibility. Shelagh needed help and she had asked him, not the nuns or any of the nurses or Constable Noakes or even his dad who she must like a lot as she said she would marry him. She had asked him, and he wouldn't let her down.

Moving into the hallway, he frowned, where had he put his shoes? After a few moments scrambling around, he rushed over to the phone and frantically dialed the familiar number. The dial tone mocked him as he muttered, "Come on Dad, please be there."

"Doctor Turner speaking." The voice of his father rattled from the receiver.

"Dad! Thank goodness!" Timothy exclaimed.

"Timothy, what is it? Are you alright?"

"I can't find my shoes, you know the ones that I wear for Cubs outings. They're the best ones for walking and Shelagh said in the letter that I needed good shoes!"

There was a long sigh on the other end of the phone, "Timothy, we talked about you only calling this line in an emergency."

"Dad, I would very much class this as an emergency, she will be here soon, and I can't find them anywhere!"

"Have you checked under you bed…Oh, wait, I remember, I hid them in my office."

"Why on earth would you hide my shoes?"

"I was trying to make the place look tidy for Shel-"

There was a knock at the door, "Oh! She's here! Bye Dad." Tim rushed before unceremoniously putting the phone down on his father.

Opening the door, he smiled widely. "Hello Shelagh!"

"Good afternoon, Timothy. Are you ready to go?"

He stepped aside to let her in to the house, "I would have been ready early, only I couldn't find my good shoes. Dad seems to think that 'tidying up' means hiding things in his office!"

Timothy was rewarded with a chuckle from Shelagh and he found it made him feel warm inside. If making fun of his dad made her laugh, she was in for a real treat!

"Did you manage to make some sandwiches, Timothy?"

"Oh, yes. They're in a paper bag on the counter in the kitchen." He directed as he wrestled his good shoes on. "And I have my notepad and pen ready. Can I know where we are going?"

"I thought first we would walk over to Hale Park and have a little picnic and I can explain the quest, does that sound good?"

He thought about the jam sandwiches he had made this morning, he'd put a double helping of jam in when his father wasn't looking but that didn't make for a very exciting picnic. "I only made sandwiches, but I can see what else we have in the cupboards, if you like?"

She lifted a basket that he hadn't noticed before. "Oh, don't you worry, I am well equipped for a picnic!"

As they sat on a bench by a lovely bed of flowers valiantly fighting against the cold of winter, Timothy dived into the picnic basket that Shelagh had brought and decided that she really was well equipped. "Are those jam tarts?"

"Yes, but I rather think sweets should follow savory and not the other way around. We might start with your sandwiches."

Timothy looked at his sandwiches and then at the veritable feast that Shelagh had brought, his sandwiches did not look appetising at all next to the cold cuts, the boiled eggs, there was even cheese and some pickled onions. "I don't think they-" Before he could finish, he watched in horror as Shelagh retrieved one of his efforts.

"Delicious!" She managed around a mouthful, "I can't tell you how long it has been since I have had a really good jam sandwich."

Timothy looked skeptical, "Dad says I put too much jam in them."

He was delighted when Shelagh shook her head and asserted, "Nonsense, you can never have too much jam!" She looked thoughtful and then added, "Maybe give your teeth a good brush when you get home though."

Timothy laughed and promised that he would, he hadn't been on a picnic that wasn't with the Cubs for a long time. And while he had fun with the Cubs, it was nice to be the center of attention. Shelagh laughed at his jokes and let him have the last boiled egg and when they finished the picnic with a jam tart each, he listened with rapt attention to her explanation of their afternoon's quest.

"Timothy, I need… well, that is, I would like to find a church that I can attend, as I am sure you can imagine, my faith is very important to me and now that I am not a religious sister anymore, I would like to find somewhere to worship."

"Well that shouldn't be too hard, there are lots of churches in London. What about Westminster Abbey? We went there on a school trip!"

"A good suggestion Timothy, but I rather think Westminster might be a little too grand for my needs and a little too far to travel."

"Oh, perhaps it is a bit big. Well there's All Saints, I used to go to Sunday School there."

Shelagh looked uncomfortable with that suggestion, but Timothy couldn't understand why, it was a perfectly nice church, the seats were a little uncomfortable but in his limited experience, he found all church seats somewhat uncomfortable.

"All Saints is another good suggestion but perhaps it would be… nice to go a little bit further afield. Find somewhere new to explore."

"But not as far as Westminster?" Timothy teased.

"No." She affirmed kindly.

"Well I certainly understand why you said this was going to be a quest! Oh, I have an idea, we should buy a map and then we could circle all the churches that are the right distance away and visit them all and see which one you like the best!"

Shelagh smiled and dug further into the picnic basket, "I actually picked one up on the way over, and I borrowed an old compass from Mrs. Douglas. Every good adventure involves a bit of orienteering."

Timothy felt his mouth drop open, amazed, "Can I be in charge of the compass and the map?"

"Well, why don't we take it in turns, we can keep swapping. That way, we will both keep looking with fresh eyes and we'll be less likely to get lost."

They had made their way over to St. Anne's in Limehouse and only took a couple of wrong turns, which Timothy knew were his fault, but he wasn't going to mention it. After visiting the church, they sat on the steps outside and made notes in Timothy's notebook. Shelagh was interested in the prayer meeting held on a Tuesday evening and thought that the parishioners they happened to meet were nice and welcoming. Timothy noted down that the seats were hard, but the kneelers were squishy and looked quite new.

The second church they arrived at smelled strongly of dust, which Timothy thought constituted an automatic no, though Shelagh said it was best to keep an open mind. Her mind was swiftly changed when the vicar was only interested in how large a donation she might provide.

"I would give the clothes off my back if someone needed them but I'm always suspicious when a conversation about money comes before a conversation about faith… or even a hello!" She explained to Timothy as they caught the bus to their next destination. "And you were right, that fusty smell would follow me around for days after service, I'm sure of it."

Timothy laughed at her distraught expression and then sobered, "Shelagh, why did you ask me to help you and not someone else?"

"Well, several reasons, actually. I knew that I needed someone canny, someone who would spot things that I wouldn't."

"Like the dust?"

"Exactly like the dust, Timothy. I also wanted somebody that I could trust. And most importantly, I thought it best that I asked someone who I could have fun with, who would see it as an adventure and not a chore."

Timothy smiled widely, he didn't think that an adult had ever said that he was canny, trustworthy and fun. He doubted even Jack, his best friend, would give him such a glowing report. "I'm glad you asked me, I'm having a lot of fun and the jam tarts were really tasty."

The third church, of which Timothy could not remember the name, they ventured to was immediately dismissed as the caretaker seemed to recognise Shelagh and had a few unkind words for her. Shelagh had smiled politely and left but Timothy wanted more of an explanation.

When they were well on the way to their next 'circled church', he couldn't keep the curiosity at bay, "He said that you were a harlot."

"Oh dear, Timothy, please don't say that word!"

His suspicions had been right, "I knew it wasn't a nice thing to say, I should have told him not to speak to you like that!" How anybody could think that Shelagh was anything less than brilliant was a mystery to him.

Shelagh appeared way too calm for Timothy's liking. "It wasn't very nice, but he was just upset. I nursed his wife before she died. I spent a lot of time with him towards the end, he found a lot of comfort in prayer, he really is a good man."

"Is he mad at you because she died?"

"No, no, I think he was mad that I am no longer a Nun. I think he was more shocked than anything, don't give it any thought."

Timothy nodded and walked a bit further in silence, but he couldn't keep it up, he had too many questions. "Why aren't you a Nun anymore?"

He watched as Shelagh opened her mouth to speak but just as quickly shut it again, she did this several times before pointing at a bench across the road. As they sat down, she started to speak, "I'm not a Nun anymore because the religious life has many rules and obligations and I felt that at this point in time, my life was destined for a different path, one that is not… compatible with being a Nun."

"You couldn't have married Dad while you were a Nun?" Timothy surmised.

"No, I couldn't. Didn't your father explain this to you?"

Timothy laughed, "Sort of, it was almost as though he was talking in riddles. He does that when he's uncomfortable. All I really understood was that he loved you like he loved Mummy and that he wanted to marry you. I thought that you left Nonnatus because you were poorly though."

Shelagh looked deep in thought and Timothy liked that she spoke to him honestly, rather than telling him to mind his own business. "In a way you are right. When I was unwell… it put my life in perspective and where I had previously been pulled in two directions, now there was one clear path."

"You and Dad are perfect for each other; you both speak in riddles!" His tone was exasperated but he was happy that Shelagh had laughed and didn't tell him off for being cheeky.

Timothy had another question he wanted to ask and decided that now was a good time, "Why did you want to become a nun in the first place? There seems like so many rules and you have to be silent a lot and you look much nicer in ordinary clothes."

He was worried he might be asking too much, his father always told him that he didn't know when to stop sometimes, so he was pleasantly surprised when Shelagh smiled. "Well, it's a little hard to explain, but I will try. Like you, I lost my mother when I was very young, and for the longest time, I wanted to be angry at God for taking her away from me. I would go to the little church in our village and sit in the pews and tell God that he was mean and cruel and that I would never forgive him."

Timothy gulped, he knew that feeling well.

"I felt scared and alone and it turned out that the thing that I thought I hated was actually the one constant in my life. I would go, and I'd sit and be mad for a while and then I would help old Maggie with the flowers and if Eric was polishing the altar, I would hold his stool steady. Maggie used to sing while she swept the floor and I would join in, dancing around her."

Timothy liked that image and it reminded him of singing with his mother in the kitchen when she was baking.

"Day by day, the anger lessened, my motivations were less about going to vent and more from the enjoyment that I felt in helping the parishioners maintain the church. It was such a beautiful building and I was drawn to it, and to the community who embodied it. I didn't realise it at the time but bit by bit I was letting go of the anger and the blame. At some point, though I couldn't say when, something must have shifted because my prayers were no longer accusations but appeals for my mother to be looked after and for her to know that I was safe and happy." Shelagh smiled serenely as she reminisced. "Soon enough, I started to attend service and joined the choir. I started my journey in anger, but over time I felt more contentment, an understanding that God is love and that in worshiping Him and following His teachings, I could belong and be a part of something greater than myself."

"So, you knew when you were a little girl that you wanted to be a nun?"

"Goodness no." She laughed. "I knew that when I was older I wanted to help people, I found purpose in helping people, so I trained to be a nurse and a midwife. During my training, I started to feel called to the religious life. I felt that He had given me so much in life at a time when I felt as though I had lost everything, and I wanted to give something back. Through His guidance, I knew that I could do so much more for people, and in doing so I would honour Him."

Timothy thought it all over, "So, you enjoyed being a Nun, even with all the rules?"

"Yes, I felt I was where I belonged. I was able to do a job that I loved, and my faith was entwined in every aspect of my life. And the rules aren't so bad, Timothy, they give structure. Besides, the convent is like a family; contentment was easy to find."

"You must really love my Dad. I mean to leave that behind."

"I do love him very much," she gently traced her finger across her engagement ring, "besides, all is not lost to me, my faith is just as strong, only the way that I practice has changed."

"That's why you wanted to find a church that you like?"

"Yes, I feel that I can connect with God wherever I am, yet I long to be part of a community who worship together… again."

"Oh, wait, why do you have to find somewhere new? You can join the Sisters at Nonnatus!" He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that sooner, it was so obvious.

Shelagh was quiet for a few moments and when she spoke, her words were soft and measured. "Timothy, I left Nonnatus house to start a new life. A life with you and your father and I couldn't be happier with that decision. Part of embracing that new life is finding somewhere new to worship. If I went there to worship, my old life would get muddled with the new."

"I think I understand." He didn't really but he wasn't going to let on.

Shelagh determinedly picked up the map and looked at the scribbles and circles, "I think that we don't need to venture all the way to All Hallows in Bow. I think St. Anne's might be the winner. What do you think, Timothy?"

Timothy frowned, "I suppose that one was fine. We haven't even looked at All Saints though."

"Well, I thought it was a bit too close to home, so to speak." She gently lifted his chin to look at him and he enjoyed the warmth of her touch. "What is it, Timothy?"

"I was just hoping that you would change your mind and pick All Saints. I know you said it was not far enough away, but it would be easy for us to walk to every Sunday and… I like it there." He wanted to sound grown up and give her a well thought out reason, but none came to mind, save the real reason.

"You want to come to church with me?" She asked him, startled.

Timothy noticed that her eyes looked wet and he was convinced she was going to cry, she must have really liked St. Anne's, but he really wanted to go to this one. Before he could stop himself, he blurted, "I want my mum."

He was engulfed in her arms as soon as the words left his mouth. He felt safe and warm and couldn't have stopped the tears even if he wanted to. As she gently rubbed his back, and the tears calmed, he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Sorry, Shelagh."

"Oh Timothy, never apologise for missing your mother." She soothed.

"It's just, it's not what I meant to say." He sniffed and sat up straighter, "I like that church because I used to go with mum and when I'm there I can imagine that she is too. She used to play the organ and when I go with the Cubs and I hear it, I close my eyes and pretend it's her playing."

"That is lovely, Timothy."

"You don't think that it's silly? To pretend?"

"Absolutely not, if you feel close to her then it's as real as you and I sitting here." She smiled, and put her arm around his shoulders, "After my mother died, after I stopped being mad at God, I used to insist on sitting in the exact place that my mother had at our church. She would sit two rows back on the right-hand side, almost exactly in the middle. I used to tell myself I was keeping it warm for her, though I knew it was silly, it made me feel better and I felt closer to her. If someone else tried to take that spot, I used to insist that they move. I once threw an almighty tantrum."

"You didn't!" He gasped, impressed.

"I was quite a feisty child." Shelagh admitted before quickly changing the subject back, "If you want to come to church with me and All Saints is the church that you like, then that is where we will go."

"But will you be happy there?" Timothy worried.

"I think that I will be happy knowing that you are happy. You have a special connection with that church and that alone should put it straight to the top of our list."

Timothy felt butterflies in his tummy, he liked church when he went with the Cubs, especially the music and now he could go with Shelagh and feel close to his mum too. As soon as Shelagh had explained the quest, he'd secretly hoped that she would like All Saints. He smiled but he could feel his cheeks burning red, "Perhaps I should have said so at the picnic, we wouldn't have had to travel around half of the east-end."

"I don't know about you, but I like a bit of an adventure every now and then, and I have learnt a few things about map reading, thanks to you."


Timothy climbed into bed and snuggled under the sheets, his eyes were starting to feel heavy, but he wanted to wait for his father to come and tuck him in. He didn't have to wait long before Patrick burst in, making the sleepy boy jump. Timothy felt like his Dad did everything with more gusto since Shelagh had come back to Poplar.

"Sounds like you had a fun day with Shelagh, son." Patrick sat on the edge of the bed and ruffled Timothy's hair.

"It was the best, you should have seen the picnic!"

Patrick made a show of looking around the room in confusion, he even lifted the sheets to have a look.

"Dad, Dad, stop, my feet are getting cold."

Patrick made a show of looking hurt, "I can't believe my own son went on a picnic and didn't save anything for me!"

Timothy giggled, "We even had jam tarts!"

Patrick held his hand over his heart, wounded, "How could you?"

"Very easily!" Tim replied laughing before sobering as he remembered why he wanted to wait up for his Dad, "I cried about Mummy today."

Patrick stooped his shoulders to be eye-level with Timothy and gently moved a lock of hair out of his son's eyes. "When you were with Shelagh?"

"Yes, she made me feel better and I want to go to church with her because I think she needs a friend to go with. I don't like to think that she would be by herself." Before his father could respond, Timothy rushed, "And it was Mummy's church and when I go there it makes me feel happy."

"Well then, that's a brilliant idea." Patrick enthused.

"You don't mind? But you don't like church." Timothy accused him.

Patrick laughed, and Timothy couldn't understand why it was funny. "Tim, I'm a cynical old man, but your mother and Shelagh? They're both exceptionally special people so if you want to follow in their footsteps and if it makes you happy, then I think it's great." Patrick leant forward and kissed his son on the head, as he stood to leave, he added with a wink, "Besides, if you go with Shelagh then I don't have to take you."

Timothy just smiled, slyly, "I bet Shelagh could convince you to go to church."

Patrick sighed and admitted defeat, "I'd go with her every day if she asked me to," he paused, "I'd go every day if you asked me to as well. Timothy, you know you can come to me with anything at all, even if you think I'm not going to like it."

Timothy nodded in understanding and then grinned, "Don't be mushy, Dad!"

"Night, son."

"Night, Dad."