Chapter 7(BB)

The atmosphere was hot and grim on the engineering main deck of the chaos battleship. Tech priests of the dark Mechanicum scurried around frantically and chaos slaves whimpered under the lash as vicious overseers forced them to work faster in the sweltering heat. The entire ship was overheating badly and if something wasn't done soon then everyone would be cooked alive in the rising heat. The situation was so grim that the chaos lord himself had gone down to engineering to take stock of the situation.

"What happened?" The Chaos Lord asked the chief tech priest.

"It is grim my Lord," said the nightmarish conglomeration of flesh and metal that was the tech priest, "the primary cooling system is destroyed, as are the secondary systems. Some maniac seems to have thrown a melta bomb into maintenance junction 28 Pi Alpha where all the pipes of the various cooling systems meet. The melta bomb vaporised all the pipes and flooded the junction with super heated liquid coolant, we can't get near the junction, the metal is still partially molten."

The chaos lord grumbled at this, there had been a lot of acts of similar sabotage on his ship lately.

"It's those little fuckers Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin! It has to be them Dad!" The Chaos Lord's bastard son Augustus exclaimed angrily.

The chaos lord was inclined to agree, a pair of delinquents calling themselves Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin had been causing no end of havoc on the ship. Whoever they were they were clearly fiendish diabolical geniuses, able to escape from his wrath time and again, even the Tzeentch psykers couldn't divine their location nor describe what they looked like.

The chaos lord was about to speak when moronic laughter filled the room. He turned to see the pair of imbeciles Beavis and Butthead pointing at the chief tech priest and laughing.

"Ha ha ha, he has no wiener, he he he," Beavis said pointing at the naked tech priest, who was little more than half a human torso and head covered in bare machinery. He had mechanical legs and pelvis, and had indeed done away with the "unnecessary" private parts.

"Uh ha ha ha, ha ha ha yeah, he has no thingy," Butthead agreed.

"What are you little punks doing here?" The chaos lord's son Augustus demanded irritatedly.

"Um, we're looking for nachos," Beavis replied cheerfully.

"Uh, yeah, we're having a hunger, uh ha ha ha," Butthead added, in a voice that suggested that the word "hunger" was sexually suggestive in some way.

Augustus went to beat them up but the chaos lord stopped him and asked the pair if they knew anyone called "Ben Derhover and Barry M'Dikkin".

The pair exploded with laughter at the names, the way they found amusement in so many things, and the chaos lord sighed. These morons clearly wouldn't know the identity of the diabolical geniuses who had caused so much havoc lately. He let the chuckling simpletons continue on their way unharmed, not even entertaining the notion that they could be the ones responsible.

***...

Lost and the damned teenagers Beavis and Butthead chuckled incessantly as they walked out of the engineering decks. They had recently set off an awesome melta bomb in a room full of huge hot pipes and the resulting thermonuclear explosion had been really cool!

"Uh huh huh, melta bombs are cool," Beavis philosophised wisely.

"Yeah, pity we don't have another one," Butthead said disappointedly.

The pair continued on, muttering to each other in a highly intelligent and enlightened way, agreeing in no uncertain terms that thermonuclear explosions were indeed the absolute height of cool. The ship was getting hotter at an alarming rate.

"Damn it's hot! I swear that I must strip down before I roast!" Said a woman's voice.

Beavis and Butthead stopped dead in their tracks and turned around to see their busty coworker Candy leaning her mop against a wall and stripping out of her filthy work overalls.

"Woah!" Butthead said, eyes wide with excitement.

"Heh heh, boy-oy-oy-oy-oing," Beavis added excitedly as Candy stripped down to her extremely slutty Slaaneshi underwear, little more than bits of string with only just enough fabric attached to provide support for her large breasts.

"Oh Slaanesh, not you two morons again!" Candy said exasperatedly when she noticed them.

"Heh heh, hey how's it going?" Beavis asked her.

"Hey baby," Butthead added.

"Stay away from me you fucking rapists!" Candy snapped angrily at them.

"Uh, rapists? Ha ha, those are those guys that like do it with chicks even if they don't want to do it," Butthead chuckled.

"Really? Heh heh, that's awesome! I just want to do it with every chick, but they keep saying no! Damn it I want to be a rapist too! Then I could like, do it with any chick I liked!" Beavis exclaimed agitatedly.

"Yeah, rapists are cool. We should like find some rapists and join them, then we could be rapists too," Butthead suggested.

Candy face palmed in disgust and said, "you morons ARE rapists! You held me at gun point and forced me to have sex with you to avoid being shot!"

"Um uh, that was cool, heh heh, but our lasgun is broken, it stopped working like just before we did it with you, heh heh, we couldn't have shot you even if we wanted to," Beavis announced cheerfully.

Candy gasped in disbelief and slapped herself for being stupid enough to have fallen for the bluff and slept with the pair. She should have known that those imbeciles were completely harmless and saved herself a lot of therapy afterwards to get over the "rape"!

"Ha ha, she said that we are rapists Beavis," Butthead exclaimed.

"Hah ha, yeah, YEAH! We're rapists! Yes! Now we can score again and again!" Beavis celebrated jubilantly.

"Ha ha, hey Candy, I'm going to rape you now," Butthead announced huskily.

"Yeah, yeah, me too! I'm going to rape you Candy!" Beavis agreed excitedly.

Candy picked up her mop and proceeded to beat the complete crap out of the would be rapists, before then ramming the mop handle up both their asses to let them see what being raped felt like.

The pair of them twitched feebly on the floor as Candy walked off to clean another walkway, coughing and groaning in pain.

***...

"Hey baby, we're rapists, we're gonna rape you ha ha" Butthead said enthusiastically.

A moment later Butthead cried out in pain as his intended victim had other ideas.

"Heh heh, you wussy, even as a rapist you can't score," Beavis mocked him.

Butthead wanted to threaten to kick Beavis's ass but he was in too much pain and simply lay on the floor clutching his bruised testicles.

The pair were a mass of black eyes and bruises. Out of all of the dumb methods they had ever tried to pick up women, walking up to irritated overheated women who were sweating in their underwear and boldly announcing themselves as rapist who were going to rape the women was one of the most unwise ideas they had ever tried. Every woman without exception had attacked them, as had everyone else in earshot of the conversations and the pair were extremely lucky to still be alive.

Butthead painfully sat up and got to his feet. His clothing was soaked with sweat but he was too stupid to take it off. The ship was by now unbearably hot with the primary and secondary cooling systems for the massive nuclear reactor core destroyed and it was getting steadily hotter. Butthead's vision swam in the heat and he fell down again, it really sucked.

Beavis himself was also clearly seriously overheated but lacked the sense to take off his clothes to cool down. He was drenched in sweat, dehydrated and starting to shake violently with deranged energy.

"Uh, are you ok Beavis?" Butthead asked in vague concern.

"Hahaha, jib-ba-caca! Wa-ya-titi!" Beavis exclaimed insanely.

"Uh, what? Ha ha ha," Butthead asked.

Beavis suddenly pulled his sweaty shirt over his head and screamed, "I AM THE GREAT KHORNE-HOLIO! I NEED TP FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"

"What the hell are you talking about Beavis?" Butthead asked.

"Are you threatening me? No one shall defy the will of my almighty bunghole!" Beavis exclaimed and violently kicked Butthead repeatedly in the face until he fell unconscious.

"My bunghole it goes wa-cha-ba-blah-wa-fa-blub-blog-fog-wahaha-blub-blub-blub! All shall bow down to the almighty Blood God, and to my bunghole!" Beavis proclaimed and walked off to fulfil his destiny.

Now the universe would fear the wrath of the almighty bunghole of Khorne-Holio!

*to be continued*