Chapter 7: The Beast in the Cave
"Wisduuurm, talk to meeee. I have no idea what to do. The energy's there but the mind's not able. I can't get a lock on anyone else's consciousnesses. I'm beat!"
"Beat, but not defeeeeated."
"About time you picked up!"
"Too many hints would be cheeeeeating."
"Don't give me that riddle talk! I'm SO not in the mood."
Wisdurm sighed, but she understood Starlow's frustration. Granted, she hadn't needed to ask her mentor for quite so many pointers during her test all those decades ago, but she supposed her task hadn't been quite as abstract, and took pity on Starlow. "There's one more consciousness available to youuuuu – one you don't need to pull from the eeeeether."
"You mean BOWSER?! I'm not waking HIM up, if that's what you mean! …Wisdurm? Wisdurm! COME BACK! And give me some GOOD advice this time! Grrrrr!"
But Starlow was alone again, and unable to think of anything else, she sighed and relented, appearing once more to speak to the Mario Bros. "Looks like we finally made it out of that messed-up area… Hmph… We may be able to access some other areas of Bowser's body… Just follow the paths to get to where you want to go."
Mario and Luigi peered down the dark corridor Starlow had materialized for them. They nodded to each other and Mario jumped into the path, with Luigi on his heels. Knowing she'd probably need more illusions in the future, Starlow created many unopened doorways branching off of the hallway, so Mario and Luigi simply ran along until they found the one she had left open for them.
Letting the tunnel illusion dissolve behind the door after it shut behind the brothers, Starlow appeared to them again. She knew that rousing Bowser was going to be difficult and needed a moment to compose herself. "This place… Will you wait a moment?" she asked mysteriously, zooming around the bend and disappearing. The Marios waited patiently in the minimalistic room, while Starlow took advantage of the break from constantly spinning new illusions for the ever-moving humans and got ready for what came next. "What the… This can't be… Yeah! It must be!"
After piquing their interest with her calling, Starlow returned to the Bros. "Sorry for the wait. I found something up ahead that bugs me. It's faster to show you than to bother explaining. Head in there!"
"Mm-hmm." Mario nodded understandingly –in his opinion, the less words, the better. "Let's-a go."
"Okay!" said Luigi, following his brother into Starlow's latest illusion. They walked up to a pulsating yellow protrusion sticking out of the wall.
Starlow emerged again. "This! This is the thing! This sticking-out part… It seems to be connected to Bowser's major nerve. If we can stimulate this thing, something'll happen…"
Mario shot Luigi a cheeky look and without a second thought, whacked the thing with his hammer. Just as Starlow had planned. As always, she wanted to make sure the brothers thought they were more than a simulation, and while the energy spike that she sent coursing through Bowser's body was purely her doing, she wanted them to feel a part of it.
-xxxxx-
"WOWCH!" cried Bowser, jerking back to consciousness. Slowly he pushed himself to his feet, shaking his head. Suddenly another jolt of pain sent him jumping. "YAAAARGH!" He clutched as his gut. "Whoa, what did I eat?! That's some serious pain going on down there! YAAAARGH!"
Hearing his shout, Starlow figured he had enough. "That got him up," she said to Mario. Then, taking a deep breath, she then reached out her mind to Bowser's, just as she and Wisdurm had been communicating all morning. Only Bowser was no Wisdurm, and it took all her effort not to recoil in disgust from a mind as twisted and dull as his surely was. "HEY!" she called, letting Mario and Luigi listen in and see her mouth move as part of the continued charade. "HEAR ME?"
Bowser raised an eyebrow in confusion at the voice that suddenly filled his head. "What the- HEY! Is somebody there?!" He got to his feet and looked around, but wherever he was, it was too dark to see. "Who is that?! Where am I?!"
"Don't bother looking! I'm actually down here! Inside your body!" said the voice.
"You gotta be kidding! It's in my BODY?!" Bowser wrinkled his nose in disgust: why did crap like this always seem to happen to him? First that witch took him over in the Beanbean Kingdom, then that time-traveling alien, and now some disembodied girl's voice was emanating from his innards. "HEY YOU! IN THERE! WHAT ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU IN MY BODY?!"
"You don't remember? At Peach's Castle…?"
"Peach's Castle?" Bowser folded his arms as he tried to think back to earlier that morning. "Mario pounded me at Peach's… I got chucked into a forest… I don't remember the rest…"
"Oh… You don't?" Starlow didn't think that asking Bowser directly would be much use, but she was still a little bummed that the mystery of the hammerspace was still unsolved.
"Wait-" added Bowser. "I ate a weird mushroom from some weirdo in the forest. Weird forest mushrooms… From some weirdo… … I DON'T GET IT! I don't get what happened to me at ALL! This is stupid!" Bowser scowled with frustration, glaring down at his belly. The forest mushroom-selling guy wasn't the only weirdo ruining his day. "And you, partying in my body like you own it. How dare you?!"
Very interesting, thought Starlow. The Blorbs had been caused by someone passing out so-called 'Blorb Mushrooms', and now it appears that a weird mushroom caused Bowser's hammerspace to go haywire. It obviously wasn't the same mushroom – the symptoms were too different, but Starlow had a feeling the one dispensing the mushrooms was the same. She guessed Wisdurm was right – someone had done this to Bowser. It wasn't his fault.
But she knew he could still cause a lot of problems if he knew the truth of what happened – if he knew Mario and Luigi were out of commission, leaving the Mushroom Kingdom ripe for the picking. She disconnected from his mind for a second and turned to Mario and Luigi. "This is really lucky. Let's not tell him yet that he inhaled us." The brothers nodded as she linked back with Bowser. "Maybe I should explain who I am later… It's a long story…"
"Whoa, hold it! Long? I hate boring stories…" But on the other hand, he supposed it wouldn't be boring – it involved him, after all. Then something else occurred to Bowser. "Hey, wait! You! You in my bod! I've heard your voice before…"
"Oh… Uh, really? Weird." Starlow didn't expect Bowser's memory to be that sharp – especially since the rest of the morning seemed to be a blur for him. At least he didn't remember exactly where he heard her voice before, and she wanted it to stay that way. "Listen, to change the subject, uh, where are you right now?"
"Oh yeah, right! Where am I?" It was still dark, but now that he was a bit more awake and clear-headed, Bowser could make out some shapes in the gloom. He could also feel the cool, dampness in the air. "Kind of a dim, dank cave. What in the world am I doing in a dim, dank cave?!"
"A cave?" she turned to Mario and Luigi. "This is just weird… He doesn't remember inhaling us at all… He doesn't know where he is right now… What happened up there?"
"Hmm?" wondered Mario.
"Haw?" Luigi also put a fist to his chin and pondered the question.
Starlow returned to conversing with Bowser. "Hey, up there! First, shouldn't you find a way out of that cave?"
"Hrmph! I was gonna do that anyway, genius!" growled Bowser, snapping out of his own thoughts.
"Let's let Bowser do his thing for a while," said Starlow to the Bros., relieved that she was going to get a break.
"Oh yeah!" said Mario. He'd rather explore some more, but there hadn't been many other exists to the path, so he supposed there wasn't much he could do, regardless of what he wanted.
"Okay!" said Luigi. Truth be told, he was still a bit tired, and Starlow was looking beat too. A bit of rest was perfectly fine with him.
