The ride back to the Sanctuary was quiet. Nobody seemed willing to chat. I wasn't complaining, though. It was better this way. I never liked it when people asked me about my past. I might have wanted to annoy Negan before, but normally I don't like it at all. I still couldn't comprehend what was his problem. What happened back at the house? Why did he do that? I was so confused by his sudden change of behavior. Someone could have seen us. His plan would have been ruined. I could feel his eyes on me. He had a stupid, satisfied smirk on his face. I used to believe that I was the only person who knew him, who could understand him. Apparently, I was wrong. I tried to concentrate on looking out of the window. But it was impossible. His eyes were all over me. I decided that I wasn't going to let him win this one. I closed my eyes and pretended I was asleep. It took us about fifteen more minutes till we got back. I looked around and we were indeed here. As we got out of the car, Negan and Dwight talked about something and Negan took off after giving me one last stare. Truth be told, all I wanted to do was go back to my room. I didn't feel like talking to any of them, not even Dwight. But Olivia had other plans.

"Liz, wait," Olivia said running after me. She was nice and all, but I really just wanted to be alone. "Wait. I want to talk to you about something."

"Olivia, I am really sorry. But I feel a bit tired. I want to go back to my room if that's okay. We can talk later?" I tried to make it obvious that I just wasn't up for a chat but she wasn't getting it.

"It will only take a couple of minutes, don't worry. I know you're probably not comfortable talking about it in front of other people. And trust me, in there" she said pointing towards the Sanctuary "the walls have ears. So I wanted to talk to you outside."

"Listen, if this is about my husband being dead and how it's all going to be okay and that I will get over it, you don't have to. I am just fine. He died, it's sad. But everything is good. Don't worry." I said turning around and walking away from her.

"I know that Negan is your husband." She said and for a moment I thought I was crazy. I wish I was. How did she know this? Talking about the walls having ears, huh?

"What?"

"Let's not do this thing where you pretend you have no idea what I am talking about. I didn't eavesdrop on your conversation with anyone. Megan told me. I was surprised at first but what I don't understand is why you lied in the car. You said your husband is dead." she was obviously waiting for an answer.

"This really is none of your business. And Megan shouldn't be walking around talking about this either."

"I know. I told her that. As you can understand she is upset. She is also very jealous. She used to be his favourite. You do know about this whole-"

"Wife thing? Yes, I do. Anything else?"

"You don't need to be this way. I don't really like her either. She is so full of herself, just because Negan likes her. Whatever the fuck that means. I am not one of them, in case you were wondering. I refused from the beginning. She likes her spot. She doesn't have to do anything to earn her keep, except open her legs for him. He was in her room last night. He spent the night. What I don't get is why you lied. Why did you say that he's dead? Wasn't he supposed to kick them out or whatever since you're back?"

"He was supposed to. But he didn't. Actually, it seems like he wants nothing to do with me. He asked me to pretend like we don't know each other. That I am no more than a girl he picked up yesterday night just to terrorize some group. I am tired of fighting him so I am just going to do what he asked. I thought he would have told her not to tell anyone."

"Maybe he told her later. She told me this morning after breakfast."

"Does anyone else know?"

"I don't think so. Unless she talked to someone else after I left. Why would he ask you that?"

"If I knew, a lot of problems would have been solved. But there are a lot of things I don't know and I don't understand. I don't know why he does anything. I'm pretty sure he doesn't either. He has changed. A lot. He is not the man I knew. And I don't know why we're having this conversation. It's pointless."

"Liz I am actually on your side. I never approved of this whole wife situation he had going on. Even more now that you're back. Some of the girls, especially Megan like it. They don't have to do anything. They are not in danger. The other men don't mess with them. I don't know him, or you to be honest. But you don't deserve to feel this way."

"I appreciate your concern, Olivia. But this is nothing that I can't handle. I've had to deal with worse than him, so don't worry. If he wants to be this way, so let him be this way."

"I guess you can handle yourself after all."

"Yes, I can. He was always an asshole. It's not new to me."

"Maybe, but I can tell you still love him."

I wasn't going to answer that. I still had to figure that out for myself. I forced a smile at her and walked away. So he spent the night with her, huh? He probably fucked her. And he came to me this morning telling me all this shit. Is this why he's doing it? Is he in love with her? Then what the fuck does he want from me? He could have just told me that when I got here. And then this morning at Hilltop? What was that? He held me so close to him. It was the closest we've ever been since I got here. And it felt really good. I wanted more. More of him. But my anger was stronger than any other emotion I had towards him.

"Liz?" I turned around and I saw Daryl. I couldn't believe it.

"Daryl? What are you doing here?" Oh no. What if he snuck in? If someone found out... "Daryl if Negan finds out you're here you have no idea what he'll do."

"Relax, Liz. It's okay. He asked us to come here today. After what happened last night, they drove Glenn and Maggie to Hilltop and they took us back to Alexandria. What happened to you? Are you alright? Did that son of a bitch hurt you?"

"No Daryl, he didn't. I told you yesterday. He wasn't going to hurt me."

"And why is that?"

"Because I told you yesterday, Daryl. He's my husband."

"Some awesome husband you got there, Liz. He said we can't talk about you in there. Don't even want people to know who you are."

"It doesn't matter Daryl. Let's not talk about that. How are you? Your arm?" I asked him trying to change the subject. He noticed and gave me a weird look but didn't say something.

"It's fine. The doctor at Hilltop took the bullet out and stitched me up. I'll be fine."

"I'm glad. And what about everyone else? How's Rick? He looked pretty shaken up yesterday."

"He is. You'll see him. He wants to make sure you're okay. Michonne and Abraham are here too."

"I want to see them too."

He nodded and I just looked at him. He looked so stressed. I haven't seen him like this ever since the prison. I went ahead and hugged him. I held him so tight. I missed him. I missed them all. He put his arms around me hugging me back. I let my head rest in the crook of his neck and I felt him kiss the top of my head. I did miss him so much. We used to live in the same house back in Alexandria. It was all so different now. I felt myself relax in his arms and he must have felt it too because he squeezed me a little.

"Getting cozy now are we?" I turned around and saw Negan. He was looking at us and he had that angry look on his face. The one that I was so used at lately. I pulled away from Daryl, immediately regretting it when I saw his face. He looked betrayed.

"What? Am I interrupting this sweet reunion of yours? Do you need some extra time?"

"No, Negan, it's fine. You didn't tell me they would be coming here today."

"I don't remember the part where I was supposed to inform you about my every move doll."

"You don't have to talk to her like that." Daryl said and Negan raised his eyebrows letting out a laugh.

"Oh, is that so? What are you going to do about it, boy?" Negan said challenging Daryl. Their chests were almost touching.

"Hey stop it. That's enough." I said pushing him away from Daryl.

"Sure thing, sweetheart. Whatever you say." he said holding my gaze for a few seconds before turning his attention back to Daryl. "Why don't you go back to the other fuckers, huh?" he asked him.

"Will you be alright, Liz?" he asked me obviously worried.

"Yes, she will be just fine asshole. Why don't you mind your damn business?"

Daryl gave Negan a suspicious look and then looked back at me.

"I'll be okay Daryl, don't worry. Just go." He was a bit hesitant but he left anyway. I watched him go and turned my attention back to Negan.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You didn't have to treat him this way. And besides, he wasn't doing anything. He only wanted to make sure I was alright."

"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. He doesn't have to check up on you. Why would these people think that I would ever hurt you?"

"Because you haven't exactly made the best impression. You terrorized them, almost killed one of them and you've threatened to make their lives a living hell if they don't give you what you want in return. Isn't that enough for you? We've already been through this Negan and it didn't go well last time if you remember."

"Right. So I am not even going to bother answering. One question, though."

"What?"

"Are you fucking him?" Was I hearing him right?

"You're unbelievable. Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Answer the fucking question, Liz."

"So what if I am?" He looked taken aback from my response. "Why, would you care if I am? You have made it crystal clear that you don't give a shit about what I do or what I don't do, so why do you care?"

"I don't. I just wanted to see if you'd go that low. And apparently, you would." he said trying to cover up his reaction but it wasn't working. Not this time.

"If I would go that low? Are you fucking kidding me right now? You're the one who has an entire harem of women, who are just sitting around, doing nothing, except waiting to get fucked. That's you. And you can't even control them. Your precious little plan isn't working after all. Olivia told me she knows all about me, today. And take a guess who told her." I was almost screaming at him but I didn't care one bit.

"Megan told Olivia about this?" he asked and he was honestly surprised.

"Yes she did." I answered him.

"I told her this morning that she wasn't supposed to tell anyone." he answered mostly to himself.

"Yeah well she did. You're not as scary as you think you are, huh?" I asked him. I was trying to annoy him and it was working.

"Watch it. Well if Olivia doesn't feel like revealing stuff to anyone else, no one is going to find out."

"Whatever. I don't care. You're the one who wanted to keep this a secret anyway." I said motioning between the two of us.

"What would have me do? Announce to everyone that my wife, who I thought had tragically died when shit hit the fan, is actually alive? To give up my place here and run off to the sunset with you? These things don't happen anymore. In order to stay alive you have to be tough and you have to make sacrifices."

"When did I ever ask you for any of these? When did I ask you to abandon everything to be with me? Don't you think I know what it takes to make it in the world? Do you have any idea what I've been through? No. You don't. And do you know why? Because you never asked. It's always been about you. About what you went through. About how much you have changed. But I am not the same either. If you knew the things that I did, and the things that others have done to me, you'd feel repulsed." My voice was unstable and I was about to start crying. Why was I crying so much lately? I hate this. It makes me look and feel weak.

"Everyone has been through a lot. I've seen things happen to other people without being able to prevent them from happening. And that is why you're here. You're here so that none of that shit happens again. No one will just you while I am here." I wanted to punch him. Is he serious? Why is always changing his attitude? The minute I start to get mad at him and I have a reason to yell at him, he bring this shit up.

"You really think by keeping me here as a hostage and not even recognizing me for who I really am to you, you're keeping me safe?"

"I do and I am. Now, if you don't want to understand this there's nothing I can do." he said turning around.

Once again he walked away from a conversation. He left me there in the middle of the hallway. I wasn't allowed inside when he talked to Rick and Daryl. Dwight was nowhere to be found so he couldn't inform me about what was going on either. I walked back to my room and locked myself inside. I had no idea what was going to happen. Did he want more from them? They would never be able to give him more. We were already running low on supplies. But Negan wouldn't give I damn. He would starve them if that meant that he would get what he wanted. How did we come to this? All I wanted to do was confront him about these others girls. To ask him to give them up for me, but I did not have the guts to do such thing. I was lost in my thought until I heard a knock on my door. I got up to open it and there stood Rick. I hugged him immediately.

"Rick, are you okay? What happened?" I whispered in his ear.

"We're all fine, Liz. Don't worry." he whispered back, letting go of me. I looked behind him and one of Negan's men was watching us. I'm surprised it wasn't Negan himself. He couldn't listen to what we were saying though. He was too far.

"Why are you here? What did he want from you?" I was so concerned.

"Don't worry Liz. It's nothing we can't handle. Daryl told me you were alright but I wanted to see for myself. Are you?"

"Yes, I am. Everything is good."

"Really? So why were you screaming at each other in that hallway?"

"You heard that?"

"Daryl told us. He didn't let us inside. Daryl just sneaked in. I can't believe he is your husband. Why would you ever marry a man like him Liz?"

"He wasn't like that Rick. When we were together, before this whole apocalypse thing. He was so much different. I know that he has changed. He has been through a lot. We all have. I am not defending him and I am certainly not looking for excuses. But I can't help but think that the man I knew is still in there somewhere."

"Don't get your hopes up too high, Liz. He is cruel and he's dangerous. And we will fight back. We will need some time but we are not going to let him do this. We have dealt with worse than him." I suddenly felt scared for him. I hated him right now and I wanted to punch some sense into him but I never thought about actually hurting him. I could never do that.

"No Rick, we haven't." I answered him. Rick couldn't know that I felt this way. He looked at me slightly worried.

"I have to go. We don't want to spend another second here if it's not necessary."

"I understand. Say hi to everyone from me will you? And give a big kiss to Judith from okay?"

"Of course." he said hugging me one last time and placing a kiss on my cheek before he walked away.

When he left I walked back into my room, locking the door once more. I contemplated on spending the rest of the day in here but I decided against it. I decided to go look for Sherry instead. I think I remember where their room was. I was never going to tell her, or anyone for that matter, but I really envied her. She and Dwight were absolutely fine. I'm sure that they would have their problems, but they were still together at least. That is all I wanted. I finally got to their room and knocked on the door. I waited for a bit, but Sherry eventually opened the door.

"Hey. I wasn't expecting you. Come in." she said smiling at me. Their Rom was definitely bigger than mine. It had a double bed and two dressers. Did they actually own that many clothes? It had and big bookcase and a desk. It even had its own bathroom.

"Your room looks so comfy. I'm jealous." I said making her laugh. I lied down on the bed and she lied next to me.

"Well why didn't you ask for a bigger one? I'm sure Negan wouldn't mind giving you another."

"Oh, don't bring his name up. He has caused me enough of a headache for one day." I said and rubbed my temples.

"What did he do now? I was meaning to ask you what it is that he told you this morning after breakfast but I didn't know you'd be going on the run with them."

"I seriously didn't tell you? Oh no." I buried my head in the pillow but told her everything. I told her about his "request" this morning. About what happened to Hilltop. About Olivia and about everything with Daryl and what came after that. She was shocked. And slightly furious.

"Is he fucking serious? What the hell is wrong with him? I expected better from him. I swear to you he's gonna hear it."

"No, Sherry. Don't say anything to him."

"This isn't right, Liz. Who the hell does he think he is? To talk to you this way? To treat you this way? No. That can't happen. I will not let it. Someone needs to knock some sense into him. And then he kisses you?"

"It wasn't an actual kiss."

"It doesn't matter. It was worse than an actual kiss. Look at that, you have a hickey." I immediately panicked. What if Rick and Daryl saw it too? Oh, no.

"Sherry you can't say anything to him. You and I both know that it's pointless. And besides he obviously doesn't care. He was with her last night."

"I know." she said and looked at me with a sad expression on her face.

"How do you know?" I asked her.

"It doesn't matter, Liz. I just do." She said and looked away.

"No it does matter. How do you know?"

"You can hear them alright? Her room is the one next to us and if you're in the bathroom you can hear everything." I felt the need to throw up.

"Right." Was all I could say.

"And I saw him as he was leaving her room this morning. He's the one who told me about you. I should have punched him right there but all I could think about was you."

"It's okay. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Do you think he's in love with her?" she was a little surprised by my question but she answered me fast enough.

"No. Are you kidding me? He won't even kiss her on the mouth. He won't kiss any of them on the mouth. It's a rule or something. I believe that he is having his fun with her. Sure he cares about her, but I don't think that it's that deep."

"What? That they're not allowed to kiss him on the mouth? Why?"

"Why do you think? Because he hasn't kissed anyone like that after you and he clearly doesn't want to." Huh.

"This just makes things more complicated than they already are." I said sighing out loud.

"One minute he's insulting me, saying that he doesn't give a shit about me and then he kisses me, and Maggie tells me that he pushes me away to protect me, and you tell me that he never refuses to kiss them on the mouth. I don't know what to think anymore."

"Who is Maggie?"

"What? Out of all the things I told you that's what you focused on? She's my friend. The one that is pregnant and almost lost her baby because of him? She's going to spend some time at Hilltop because her condition isn't stable yet."

"And you told her about all of this?"

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Nothing. I'm just wondering that's all."

"That's not the point Sherry. What am I going to do? Am I really supposed to spend the rest of my life like this while MY husband is right next to me, but he's fucking these girls?"

"No. You're not. I told you what to do. You have to speak to him. Really speak to him. But don't let him get away this time. Make him understand that this can't happen."

"I wish it was that simple Sher. When he talks to me this way all I want to do us cry. I'm not kidding. I have cried today more than I have the past years."

"Don't you dare let him make you cry. He's just trying to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. I don't know why but you can't let him do this." I sighed once more.

"Can I ask you something now?" She asked and I nodded.

"This Daryl character. What is going on between you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you slept together? Or is it just platonic?"

"Sherry. It's not like that."

"Really? Because Negan was clearly jealous. He must have had a reason."

"No. He didn't. We're just really good friends. We've been through hell and back and he just cares about me. There's nothing going on. I promise."

"Alright. I'm going to believe you. Don't prove me wrong." She said trying to keep a stern face but I smiled at her. I looked back at the clock and I've been here for three hours.

"I won't. Listen I should probably get back to my room. This whole day was more than exhausting. I should get some sleep."

"Aren't you hungry? We could go get some dinner."

"No, my stomach is in knots. Thank you though. Come pick me up today for breakfast, okay? I really don't want to stumble upon them."

"Alright, I will." She pulled me into a hug.

"Have a good night okay?"

"Yes babe, you too." I said and walked outside closing the door behind me. I was so tired that I didn't even realise how fast I got to my room. I took my clothes off and lied on my bed. My eyes felt heavier than ever. I fell asleep looking at my wedding ring and thinking about this crazy day.

I woke up the next morning from a soft knock on my door. I had a headache like no other. My vision was blurry too. I probably slept in and that must be Sherry picking me up for breakfast.

"Just a second, Sherry." I yelled since the knocking didn't stop. I finally got to the door and opened the door.

"I am so sorry. I must have slept in, but I am not surprised. Yesterday was hectic and-"

"Yes, it was. Are you free to talk? We have a lot to talk about."

I was stunned. I sure as hell wasn't expecting my morning to start this way. It wasn't Sherry. It was Megan.