Backstage

Brian: I can't believe we're on the 6th installment already! This story is actually going well! Who would have thought?

Brian: Okay, now for the disclaimer…

I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and that goes for the past, present and future.

The Interviews of Haruhi Suzumiya

Chapter 6

Yuki Nagato

The red curtain goes up… the guest sits at the table… our host walks in the room… everything's ready!

"Okay, welcome to our newest installment. Tonight's guest is the emotionless robot Yuki Nagato." I said, pointing at our lavender haired guest.

"…"

"Okay, well, our first question is from Kyon-Is-Haruhi's-Slave00, and it's on the topic of your lack of emotions: 'if you could choose one emotion, which would it be?' Now this is a hard one! Well, Yuki?"

"Love." Yuki said in her monotonous voice.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"No."

"Okay… our next question is from knifestick: 'how did you feel when Kyon picked reality over your alternate reality?'"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? What do you mean?"

"I didn't feel anything. There was nothing to feel."

"Well, the next question is: 'If you had a choice, would you want to be more human? Why?'"

"Yes"

"The question also says to ask why."

"Because if I was more human, than I could experience the things that the people around me experience, and therefore I could expand my knowledge about humanity, leading me to understand the workings of Haruhi Suzumiyas mental data patterns better, and I could act according to the way she expects."

"Haruhi isn't exactly the prime example of a human."

"…"

"Well, the last question from this author: 'if the data entities ordered you to kill Kyon, would you?' GASP"

"Yes. But the Data Integrated Thought Entity would not order me to do that, because to do the task they would just reactivate interface Ryoko Asakura."

"Okay… you didn't answer the question. Well, the next question is from BakaBlue: 'When writing your novels, you mentioned another unnamed presence before naming yourself after the snow, was this being Asakura or somebody else'"

"That being was the humanoid interface code named Asakura Ryoko, as she is the only interface I knew when I was created with the amount of knowledge the Data Integrated Thought Entity.

"Well, that's interesting…"

"…"

"The next question is: 'Your "Untitled" short stories can be interpreted into several ways from Kyon protecting you to being self conscious, can you give a more detailed insight to the story.'"

"Yes. Those stories that were written for the book that was to be published were a basis of how I view my individual life as an extension of the Data Integrated Thought Entity, like as a tiny snowflake in the storm or water a molecule inside water vapor."

"I thought so. Those stories were truly beautiful to read. Now, the next question is: 'In the novels you have shown an increasing attempt for freedom and not bound by other influences, will this increase to satisfy your personal desires, such as possibly a relationship with Kyon?'"

"It is possible. If I do attain freedom from the DITE, then it would be quite possible to satisfy my personal desires."

"I thought so. Now, for the final question from BakaBlue: 'The Integrated Sentient Entry has low communication with the Sky Canopy Domain, as both your communication skills has evolved well beyond speech, is this due to different strains of communicaty and therefore have rely on the lesser verbal communication and just strictly due to conflicts on ideals?' Boy, that was long."

"Yes."

"Oh, great, she's back to one word answers"

"Any answers past this would be too complicated for a human to understand."

"Okay. Our next question is from JonBob0008: 'Since it's obvious you have feelings for Kyon, to you hold any ill will against either Haruhi or Mikuru since they're your main competition?'"

"No."

"No?"

"I bear no will towards them at all."

"I see… the next question is: 'If you were ever given the opportunity to cosplay, what outfit could you want to wear?'"

"One like the one I wore before…" (See manga volume 3)

"Okay, that would be worth seeing… well, the next question is: 'So what is it like for you to drink alcohol? Do you actually get drunk?'"

"No, it is not in my programming to get drunk. Drinking alcohol is just like drinking any other liquid substance."

"Boy, that would be convenient. The next question is: 'What did you think about during that time period where you and the rest of the world were stuck in that time loop?'"

"It was quite time consuming for me. It was exactly like the time I was stuck in wait mode for three years."

"Sounds boring."

"Yes"

"The last question from JonBob0008 is: 'This last one's a little personal, but...are interfaces like yourself programmed to...enjoy...sex?' Oh, the big question, huh?"

"No. We are not programmed to 'enjoy' anything. That includes human sexual intercourse."

"It's scary how you say that with a straight face."

"…"

"Well, our next question is from Zeek72: 'Do you think Haruhi will ever dress you up like Rei from Evangelion?'

"It is possible."

"Please be more descriptive."

"…"

"Well, our next question is: 'Was it you, Ryoko or your superiors who chose the apartment building you live in?'"

"It was my superiors decision. That apartment building is where every alien humanoid interface in this current section of the third planet lives."

"Okay, didn't know that. The next question is: 'During the endless eight did you ever deviate from your pattern?'"

"Yes. There were several things that Kyon did each rerun of that week. Depending on what he did decides how I deviated from the pattern."

"You mean like if he had sex with you or killed people?"

"Precisely."

"Okay, that's good to know. The last question from Zeek72 is: 'Are memory erasing devices capable of working on beings who are made of data?' It worked on Asakura, didn't it?"

"Yes. It is, basically, just erasing a person's memory, which is basically data. So it would just be erasing the data I had stored in my memory cells."

"Well, that's technical."

"…"

"The next question is from aprilfool1993: 'What is your favorite book?'"

"Yes."

"Yuki, you can't answer yes to that question."

"It is illogical to answer that question, because any object that provides me with information I like. In other words, there is no such thing as a favorite book."

"Well, the next question is: 'Do you like movie adaptations of books?'"

"Yes. It makes it easier to process information."

"Well, that was short. The next question is: 'Do you have autism or something?'"

"It is not possible for me to have a flaw in data such as autism."

"Well, the next question is: 'If you were in a fight against both Asakura and Kuyoh Suou ganging up on you, do you think you would win?'"

"Yes. Both their programs are flawed, so they are each considerably more weak than I am."

"Yeah, but there's two of them."

"…"

"Well, the last question of the day is: 'Why do you never call people by their names?'"

"Because when I speak to them, they should be able to process who I'm talking to right away. Names are an illogicality, because humans should have a clear understanding of who they are."

"Yeah, humans aren't capable of communicating without speech." I said, putting on my sunglasses as Nagato just sat there.

"Aren't you going to move?"

"It is illogical. You need to erase the data in my mind or else it could have severe repercussions on our universe as a whole."

"Then this will be easy."

FLASH


Backstage

Brian: Well, that was simple. I would like to thank the people who are reviewing this story, because it shows how much they care for the Haruhi characters. I would like acknowledge BakaBlue for his challenging questions which allowed me to really have to reread the story a lot. It's reviews like that that make my job interesting, regardless of the minimal payment.

So, until next time, with the incomparable Haruhi Suzumiya.