the past seven years? well it's come and went

since i landed at cross academy

nothing new under the sun, really

well not the important things at least

aunt tess still my pillar

leon, esther still my beloved family

school makes hell look exciting (i hate history)

(... and of course he is still wonderful)

(... and of course he doesn't think anything of me)

i am still broken everywhere

drugs, so many drugs

and don't get me started on the shots

every year they bring me in

pinch at me, touch me, stare at me, scribble notes

give me my annual 'meal'

of all these colorful pills and shots that

they say 'will strengthen me'

funny because i usually am too drugged to walk in a line

so aunt tess or kaien or zero comes to pick me up

some of them make me sick

really, really sick

like i remember someone telling me i was out for 4 days

(actually i was happy i slept through winter ball that year)

because apparently i took to many of the GHS51 pills, whatever that is

(it's the small circular blue one i had to take for 1 month)

but i guess some of them work how they're supposed to

one of them helped me stay awake 48 hours no sweat

and i really needed that to kill off this pack of E's that were raging through the city over

i managed to do it! but crashed and slept 16 hours after apparently

i gotta say that was one of the top three missions that i pulled off in my life

emotionally? um, i guess the same. i love who i love. actually aren't you supposed to be assessing that?

aunt tess and family? well of course. i miss them all the time. i still see her at the cross' house every Christmas, kaien and her are cousins.

yuuki? i don't see her as much anymore, which is a shame. i love spending time with her. although it makes me sad...

... well because i, i want to be her sometimes. sometimes my life is too much. i can't handle all these missions and experiments and pressure to not fail. i just want to stay at school sometimes and be friends with people. i want to be her sometimes... she captures a lot of attention.

... oh that's flattering, haha. but really, yuuki is beautiful, i just look weird.

other people? well, no one worth mentioning, really.

(at not least here)

really, i feel fine.

is this therapy over now? can i go to class?