A lot of people were crammed into Fang and Vanille's small apartment. Fang wasn't a fan of big parties at their place, but Vanille was, and even though she was small, she was an expert at getting her way. Besides, it was a big event.
"Happy birthday," A passing partygoer yelled at Fang. She grinned and waved at whoever it was. She was sure most of the people there were Vanille's friends, happy for an excuse to party. Hell, she was happy for an excuse to party. But it would have been nice to have a little more control over the guest list.
At least Lightning had said she would show up. She had a shift that wouldn't end until midnight, but she had promised she would stop by after work. 'If the party was still going,' she had said. Fang had almost laughed at her, but assured the other woman that the party would still be going strong.
And she was right. The music and alcohol had everyone happy and excited, moving and laughing and talking too loud. Fang did her best to keep everything under control- or at least, not wildly out of control. She moved around the party, laughing here, shooing people to the makeshift dance-floor in the living room there. She didn't have much to drink herself, though she didn't mind. Before they reverted to infancy, drunk people could be pretty entertaining.
Fang did catch a break when someone mentioned a game was on. A sizable crowd gathered around the television, quieting a lot of the partygoers. She joined them, curious what could draw so many people. Between the sport itself and the guy trying to get her interest, she soon regretted her decision.
"Normally if you swing and miss, it's a strike, right?"
"Mm," Fang grunted disinterestedly.
"But, if it's the third strike, and you swing and miss, and the catcher doesn't catch the ball, you get to run to first."
"Mmhmm." Fang was regretting asking about what had happened to cause such an uproar. She had spent at least ten minutes listening to what seemed to be the entire play-by-play of the world's most boring sport.
"Now if the ball's right there, obviously the catcher can throw you out. But, if it's far enough away, and you're fast enough, you can outrun the throw. You can strike out, and still be safe on first." The guy explaining the esoteric rules sounded as if he had just said something very profound. Fang gave him the biggest, most fake 'wow' she could muster. He didn't notice.
"Stealing first. It's not too too rare, but to have it happen in a playoff game… man we're lucky." He smiled at her. She nodded slowly back.
"So, uh, you like baseball?"
A commotion from the front door drew their attention. Fang spotted a tall woman with pink hair that she sorely wanted to see.
"Sorry mate, got a guest I gotta greet." She was off before he could say anything, moving through the crowd with hips and elbows until she stood in front of Lightning. The other woman was removing her coat, and Fang waited to enjoy the show.
"Hey babe, glad you could make it," she said as she took Lightning's coat.
"Starting already? I'm surprised you don't have a drink for me, too."
"Good idea, let me get you one."
Lightning grabbed her arm and rolled her eyes. "I walked into that one, but no drinks."
"One of these days we're gonna get you good and drunk."
Lightning smirked. "Maybe we could make a bet."
Fang blinked, surprised at a positive response. "Yeah? I'm game. Maybe during sparring?"
"Best two out of three sound good?" Lightning asked.
"Sounds perfect. I hope you're ready to go down." Fang said.
"You think you can make me?" Lightning said, eyes looking up at Fang from under her bangs. Her face was still, giving nothing away. Her tone, however, was warm, and full of challenge. Fang licked her lips.
"I think I'm gonna enjoy the attempt."
"I think I will too." The hand on her arm squeezed a little tighter, spreading warmth throughout Fang's entire body.
Fang let out a puff of air as if she had been punched in the stomach. Ever since the trip to Lightning's home, the other woman had shown Fang a different side of herself. It was playful, and flirty. It was sultry, and enticing. It never failed to take her completely by surprise. And Lightning knew it. Even now, she smirked at Fang as she held up a plastic bag.
"Where should I put this?"
"A present?" Fang asked, trying to regain her footing in the conversation. "You didn't have to get me anything." She led Lightning through the packed living room to the bedroom she shared with Vanille.
"Well it's for me too. And I didn't have time to wrap it- I got it before my shift."
"For you too, huh? Sounds intriguing." They entered the bedroom and Fang shit the door behind them, keeping some of the noise out.
"Whatever you're thinking, it's not that."
"Nothing but clean thoughts over here sunshine. I don't know where your head is."
Lightning rolled her eyes and tossed the bag at Fang. She caught it and opened it immediately. She pulled out new sparring gloves and headgear. She held them up to Lightning, who was looking away, almost embarrassed.
"I know it's nothing special, but I noticed yours were looking a little worn. The receipt is in there if they're not the right size, or you just want to return them."
Fang chuckled. "I like it. It's very 'you.' Thanks, Light."
Lightning nodded, but she still wasn't meeting her eyes.
"Something wrong?" Fang asked.
Lightning shook her head. "Just, it doesn't feel like enough."
"Come on, it's fine. You're right, I do need new gear."
"Still..."
"It's very practical." Fang joked. Lightning huffed and looked her square in the eye.
"I could have done better."
"Well, if you're that torn up about it, you could always give me a kiss," Fang teased.
"Don't do that," Lightning said sharply. Fang started, taken aback.
"You know I'm just kidding, Light," she said, slowly.
"No, you're not. I know you're not."
"Half kidding, at least." A thought occurred to Fang. Kissing may have been too real a subject to joke about, considering how close she had come to kissing the other woman before. "Ah, I'm sorry Light, I didn't mean to bring up- anything like that."
"You know it bothers me." Lightning said, tone still harsh.
Fang blinked. She may have touched a sensitive topic, but Lightning was getting out of line.
"Do I?" she asked.
"Yes."
"I only ask 'cause not five minutes ago you were doing a good job of flirting with me, Light." Fang could almost see the other woman's proverbial hackles rising.
"Some things are off limits," Lightning ground out.
"That's bullshit, Light. You think it's not okay to joke about kissing, but you're alright screwing with my feelings?"
"Screwing with- I'm not screwing with your feelings!"
"Maybe not on purpose. But you know I'm attracted to you and you lead me on and jerk me around with your- you're interested one minute and pushing me away the other. Do you know what that does to a person?" Everything Fang had been feeling since she had met Lightning was coming to the surface. Every positive step forward, every time she reached some semblance of normalcy with Lightning, something happened to push their relationship out of balance. The frustration of uncertainty was coming out as anger, and while she herself may have shared some of the blame, at the moment, all of her anger was directed towards Lightning.
"I thought I was pretty clear when we met. If you read into something that wasn't there-"
"Wasn't there!?" Fang's voice rose in volume and pitch. Lightning looked away sharply, jaw clenched. "Light, if that's what it looks like when something isn't there, I can't imagine what you'd be like when you're interested in somebody."
"I don't need this," Lightning said.
"Neither do I." Lightning looked back at Fang, eyes burning.
"I'm not responsible for your feelings, Fang."
"Not even when you're the one causing them?"
"If it's that big a problem for you then maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore."
"Maybe not." Fang spat.
Lightning stepped back, face dark. "Fine," she said. "Enjoy your present. Happy birthday." She whipped around and marched to the door. She flung it open and disappeared from view.
Fang let out a long, slow breath. Of all the things she had expected for her birthday, ruining a friendship hadn't been one of them. She stared at the empty doorway, regret slowly filling her heart. She idly wondered how long she should wait to reach out to Lightning, to try and repair whatever it was they had had. An unwanted voice at the back of her head wondered if it were even possible. She let out another long breath and followed Lightning's path into the party.
It was still loud. People were still playing games, laughing, chatting, and flirting between rounds. It was still hot and cramped. Fang found herself, for once, annoyed at a party. The same unwanted voice reminded her it was because the one person she wanted to be there, wasn't.
"Hey, Fang," a booming voice rose above the noise. It was Snow, visible above the crowd from across the room. He pushed his way over towards her.
"Hey big guy, how you doing?" Fang asked, hopeful that Snow could distract her from Lightning.
"Good, good. Hey guys, we're here," he said, and from behind him squirmed Serah and Vanille. They were both giggling.
"He makes a great ice breaker, huh?"
Fang raised her eyebrows. Vanille and Serah together only spelled trouble for her. And judging from the state they were in, she was in for a lot of it.
"So Fang," Serah started, interrupting herself with laughter. "How'd you like your present?"
Fang wracked her brain, trying to remember what Serah had gotten her.
"Uh, great. Just what I wanted, thanks."
"No, silly," Serah said. "How did you like Lightning's present?"
"The gloves? Good, I guess."
"Gloves?" Serah asked. Her mood shifted in an instant, and Fang felt the same tension she felt from Lightning when she was in a particularly foul mood. "What do you mean, gloves?"
"Sparring gloves?"
That was the wrong answer. Serah seemed to swell before her eyes.
"That- that- that absolute coward!" she yelled. Snow and Vanille jumped. "This is so typical of her. This is such a Claire thing to do."
"Um..." Fang glanced at Snow and Vanille, both of whom seemed as confused as she felt. "Who are we talking about?" she asked.
"Lightning, of course."
"But… Claire?" Fang prompted, not wanting to anger the small woman any further.
"What? Oh- that's her real name. The one our parents gave her. Lightning's her nickname, that she took on and- wait, no, that isn't important. She got you sparring gloves?"
"Well, yeah," Fang said. "I wasn't expecting a lot of sentimentality from her."
"She had this whole plan though," Serah said.
"Well, we helped," Vanille said. "Like, a lot."
"What plan?" Fang asked.
"Lightning asked me to ask Vanille what you might want for your birthday," Serah said.
"You are really hard to shop for, by the way," Vanille said. "But I did mention how much you miss home."
"So me and Vanille figured, why not plan a trip home for you?"
"Because it's super expensive, actually," Vanille said. "And both governments would have to approve a trip that wasn't during a regular school break, and it turned into this whole thing."
"But we could do the next best thing. Cocoon has nature reserves, and Vanille said that was right up your alley. When I told Light about it, she got this whole plan together to take a weekend off and invite you to camp out, and fish, and… I don't know, but she was actually excited, and had it all set up and paid for and everything."
"It would have been so romantic," Vanille cut in.
"Except she wussed out at the last second and got you gloves, instead." Serah spat.
Fang was flabbergasted. "But… why wouldn't she… I mean, why go through the trouble if..."
"I know, Fang," Serah said, shaking her head. "I don't get it either, but she's always been this way. She had me take food that she made over to Sazh after his wife died, as if he wouldn't know who made it for him. She had me invite you to our house over break through Vanille." Fang perked up at that.
"She just refuses to try to get close to people," Serah continued. "It's like she hates other people."
"Uh..." Snow started. Serah elbowed him in the stomach.
"Serah, I need you to answer a couple of questions for me," Fang said. Serah straightened up.
"Sure."
"You said it was her idea to invite me to your place?"
"Yeah."
"And she had a plan for my birthday?"
"That's what I'm so mad about."
"And her name's actually Claire?"
"Well, yeah, but she hates that name."
"When did she start using Lightning?"
"I think after mom died."
"Right. Just one more: where does she live?"
Fang left her building at a jog. Lightning's place wasn't exactly close, but she'd save time on foot as opposed to waiting for and taking a car service. Besides, she needed the time to sort out her thoughts.
Lightning was a frustrating person to know. Fang was close enough to the other woman to see all the positive things about her- how much she cared for the people close to her, how determined she was, how driven. She had faced and overcome the death of her sole caregiver, while looking after her younger sister. She was an intelligent, passionate woman, capable of achieving whatever she set her mind to.
Then there was the other side of Lightning. She was bull-headed and unyielding. She was cold, slow to trust, and guarded, even with Fang. And when it came to other people, she was inconsiderate, bordering on ignorant of how they might feel. Though maybe Fang was a little biased on that subject.
Serah had given her even more to think about as well. Fang was confident that Lightning considered them friends- close friends, even. The thought Lightning must have put into setting up a trip to the wilderness was proof of that. But the fact that she hadn't actually extended that gift to Fang was vexing. Friends could take a trip together. Friends could spend time with just each other. Friends didn't have to worry about mixed messages.
Then there was the fact that Lightning hadn't been honest about… well, a lot of things. From the invitation to the Farron family home she had thought came from Serah, to the gift for Fang, even to the other woman's name. Fang had to wonder what else Lightning was keeping from her.
While her mind had gone in circles, Fang's feet had carried her to Lightning's building. It was an older building, only a few stories and made of brick and mortar. There was no lock on the main entrance, so Fang let herself in and found the stairs. She took the steps two at a time to the fourth floor. She found Lightning's number, and before she could think, knocked, loudly.
"Light," she called through the door. "Open up, it's me."
There was a short, tense wait before she heard locks being undone. The door opened sharply, revealing Lightning's scowling face.
"What the hell are you doing here?" she growled. "I thought we were done."
"Not according to Serah." Lightning's eyes widened, then narrowed in an instant. She moved aside.
"Get in here. We're not doing this in the hall."
Fang entered Lightning's apartment for the first time. It was bare. A scuffed wooden table with a mismatched chair was set in a small tiled kitchenette. There was a short, waist-high dividing wall before a small, empty, carpeted area. Fang figured it was supposed to be a living area, though she doubted Lightning actually used it.
To her right was a short hall with two doors- bathroom and bedroom, Fang guessed. She also suspected even the bedroom looked like the rest of the apartment; void, spartan, and impersonal.
"I don't know what Serah told you, but the gear is all I had for you," Lightning said. Fang stopped her scrutiny of Lightning's apartment and looked over at the woman herself. She was facing Fang head on, arms crossed and shoulders set.
"You had something else in mind," Fang said. "A trip together?"
"Had," Lightning emphasized.
"Why not go through with it? It would have made a good gift."
"I realized that it would be a little much," Lightning snapped.
"How far did you get?" Fang asked. "Serah said you made reservations and payments and everything."
Lightning's mouth pressed into a line. "That's none of your business."
"So at least that far then. Why go through all the trouble, Light?"
"I stopped before I got too far," Lightning said. She looked aside. Fang crossed her arms.
"I don't believe that. You can't even look at me."
"You don't need to believe it."
Fang threw up her hands in frustration. She took a moment to collect herself, and decided to switch tactics. "You care about me, Light. And you wanted to show it. But you backed out."
Lightning said nothing.
"What were you scared of?"
That got a reaction. "There's nothing to be 'scared' of. I didn't want to get you something that big."
"And at the party? When what you got me wasn't good enough?"
"There's a middle ground, Fang," Lightning said. Frustration was evident in her voice, clear in the way she folded her arms. Fang took pleasure in the fact that she could share some of her frustration with the other woman.
"Well I'm not looking for a middle ground," Fang said. Lightning glared.
"You can't choose what other people give you."
"No, but I do know what I would like from them."
"So what?"
"So, in all this, you never said it was something you wouldn't like too."
Lightning narrowed her eyes. "That's not the point of a gift, Fang."
"I'm not talking about the gift anymore." Fang leveled a serious look at Lightning. Lightning's tone turned disbelieving.
"You're talking about- what, a relationship?"
"And why not?
"I'm straight, Fang."
"Yeah? 'Cause from the day we met you flirted with me. You felt me up and everything."
Lightning pursed her lips. "What would it take to convince you? Tell me, so we can settle this."
"I don't know. I really don't. But you can't deny the chemistry we have. As much as you might not want to, you like being with me, don't you."
Lightning looked away again. Fang pressed on.
"I like being around you too. I like talking with you, joking with you, fighting with you. I like you, Light, so much."
Lightning narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Whatever you're trying, it won't work."
"I'm just being honest." Their eyes met. Fang felt like she was close to breaking through. "Maybe you should try it too."
"Why can't you just take no for an answer?"
"Because I don't think the answer is no. You keep letting me back in. Letting me get closer. I know you're not good at it, but you keep doing it anyway."
"I don't know what you mean, I never-"
"Come off it, Light. I offered lunch, you gave an excuse to do it weekly. I asked you to a party, you asked me to teach you. Even after I pushed my boundaries, Serah told me it was you who invited me along over summer break."
"Great." Lightning sarcastically bit. "Did she tell you anything else?" Fang didn't mention Serah had let slip the other woman's real name.
"She just cares about you. So do I."
"Weird way of showing it, talking behind my back." Fang took a breath, reminding herself that Lightning was being understandably defensive. She had come to the other woman's home and confronted her, after all.
"You've got a weird way of showing it too," Fang said. She gestured around the apartment. "Why isn't there anything here, Light? Almost looks like no one lives here."
"So what?" Lightning asked again.
"So how much of Serah's tuition are you paying? How much of her room and board?"
"That's none of your business."
"What did she say when she saw this place?"
Lightning showed nothing. Fang could guess what that meant.
"She hasn't seen it." Fang said. "Light, you're sacrificing so much for her, aren't you?"
"I'm not. Maybe you couldn't tell, but I'm not big material things."
"I get that, but there's nothing here. Tell me I'm not the first person whose seen your apartment."
Lightning said nothing. Color flushed her face, but she continued to stare Fang down.
"What do you do? Eat, sleep, and work? Is that it?" Fang asked incredulously.
"Of course not. I see you, for one."
"And for two? Exercise?" Lightning remained silent. Fang was struck by the depth of Lightning's devotion to Serah. She had forgone most of the things other people took for granted. Free time, recreation, friends… Fang doubted Lightning had had a true break from life since she had started helping her mother all those years ago. Being burdened with the health and well-being of three people so young, it was no wonder the other woman was so cold. She must have matured faster than her peers, seen the darker side of life much earlier than them. Watched from afar as they lived free from responsibility. No wonder Snow grated on Lightning so much.
"Do..." Fang started quietly. "Do you think Serah wants this for you?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Would your mother want this for you?"
Lightning's eyes flashed. "Don't bring her into this."
"It's a serious question, Light. You think she would want to see one of her daughter suffering?"
"I'm not suffering."
"You're not happy, either."
"What should I do then, Fang? Go out with you? Would that solve all my problems?"
"No. But it would help."
Lightning scoffed. She looked ready to tear into Fang, but Fang was faster.
"Let the people who care about you help. Let Serah know what her financial situation is like. Let her get a loan; or let Sazh help- he looks at you guys like his own kid, you know. Let Snow help, with money, a place to live, whatever. And yeah, I want to help too. I can help you blow off steam when your days get bad. I can listen when that doesn't work. I can help you with the things you're not good at- opening up; talking to people; asking for help. I can be there for you. That's what it means to care for someone. And I care for you. A lot."
Lightning considered her for a moment. Her anger seemed to have simmered down, and she looked to be actually contemplating Fang's words.
"Sounds like what you've already been doing," she said. "As a friend."
"And I think I could do more. I think we can be more," Fang said. "What's the harm in trying?"
"Fang..." Lightning looked lost. Fang supposed that being challenged at as deep a level as she was reaching would shake anyone's confidence, even Lightning's. She took a step towards the other woman.
"All I'm asking for is a chance. One chance."
Lightning didn't respond. Fang took another step forward.
"We could go out a couple times. Take the trip you planned. See where we end up."
Another step. She stood directly in front of Lightning, who had backed into the short dividing wall. She had to look down to meet Lightning's eyes.
"Light?" Fang asked, voice low.
"What?" Lightning breathed.
"I'm going to kiss you now."
Fang dipped her head down and pressed her lips against Lightning's. There was a moment where she thought Lightning would turn violent, but the only reaction from the other woman was a tilt of her head, allowing better access to her lips. Fang's hands found Lightning's arms, and she absent-mindedly rubbed from Lightning's shoulders to her elbows and back up. Lightning returned the pressure Fang put into the kiss.
Slowly Fang pulled back. When she opened her eyes, she found clear blue eyes regarding her. She braced herself for a volatile reaction. Lightning sighed, and shook her head.
"I can't believe I let you steal a kiss from me." The corner of Lightning's mouth turned just up.
Fang could sing she was so relieved. "Tell you what, you can take one from me any time you want," she said.
Lightning shook her head. "You must think my lips are pretty cheap."
"Then you can have any part of me."
Their eyes met, and again Fang felt electricity shoot down her spine. It was a heady promise to make. She had said it lightly, but had meant it. From her reaction, Lightning knew she had.
"That'll do." She looked down, brow furrowed. She looked up again, resolve in her eyes.
"Let's go to bed."
Fang raised her eyebrows.
"Just to sleep. It's too late for you to go home, and we've got a big day tomorrow."
"Do we?"
"Yeah. I get to kick your ass for accosting me in my own apartment."
Fang smirked. "I won't make it easy."
"I wouldn't want you to. Come on."
They made their way to Lightning's bedroom. Just as Fang had suspected, it was almost empty of personal affects. A picture of Serah on a bedside table seemed to be the only evidence that a person actually used the room at all. That would change. Lightning had been through a lot in her life, but Fang was filled with determination to make it better. To make her happier.
With nothing to change into, Fang lay down. Lightning slid into bed beside her, a little stiffly. There was an awkward silence, which Fang would not stand for.
"Damn I'm smooth." Fang said quietly. Lightning sighed.
"First night as a couple and we're already in bed together," Fang continued.
"You're pushing your luck, Fang."
"Come on, not even a little laugh?"
"Will that shut you up?"
"No. But I know one thing that will."
"Don't tell me."
"A kiss."
A sigh. "Fine."
Fang smiled. The sheets rustled as she rolled over and stared down at Lightning. She couldn't make out much in the dark, but she could imagine the look on the other woman's face- something between consternation and acceptance. She leaned down, and there, in the dark, they kissed again. Fang lay back down, smiling and content, and looking forward to tomorrow.
A/N: Sorry for the long wait on this, it was a tough chapter to get right. It's pretty dialogue heavy, and getting the characters' voices just right is tough.
But that's the end of the story. At least the end that I had planned. I was considering writing their trip together, from Lightning's point of view. Let me know if that sounds like something people would like to see.
Please, let me know how I did. The things you liked, the things that didn't work, the things that could be different. It's all valuable feedback, and I appreciate any and all reviews.
Thanks for reading.
