A/N: Finally, I got to a chapter I've been anticipating and writing up to. This chapter is gonna be a good one. I can feel it! Hopefully it's not too dumb or too early in. I'm writing by memory here! Sorry for the constant time jumps and italics, by the way. I really wanted their feelings to brew in them for a while, without making it seem long for you. As for my constant italics, I really wanted the twin's thoughts to really develop throughout, showing their constant change of thought. Enjoy! R&R
Chapter 7: I Have Something To Tell You…
One months time passed on since the basketball game. Zack eventually left the team and took up two new hobbies to help him escape. Acting and singing. Something about these hobbies really stuck out to him more than anything. Whatever he was feeling, he acted or sang. As things progressed, Zack learned he had a wonderful voice and amazing acting skills. Eventually, his mood about himself lifted and he held a high confidence within himself. He still kept his homosexuality a secret as well as his attraction to Cody. On the nights he thought of Cody, he'd hush it and push it away. He knew it was bad for him and sooner or later, he'd burst under pressure. As for dating, he just halted. He'd always keep to himself and when a girl came up to him, he'd just say "Hi." And brush her off. He was more engulfed into his books or music to care.
Cody kept his act up, hiding his sexuality at all costs. He kept doing what he was doing, terribly afraid that someone would find out. He even tried dating girls again, hoping it'd go away, but to no avail. Every girl he'd been with never got passed kissing, and he broke it off quick. He felt uncomfortable. So much that, he gave up dating, as well. He was getting tired of denying himself and keeping his secret. He needed someone to talk to.
Cody began worrying about his brother as he heard him tossing and turning. He felt bad that Zack was showing his ultimate kindness toward him, and he wasn't showing any courtesy back. "Zack? You okay?" Cody got nothing but the sound of bed sheets as an answer.
Zack was going nuts inside his head. This dream was making his head spin. Unlike anything he'd ever seen before…
A symphony of voices filled Zack's ears until he couldn't hear anymore. He was trapped in the middle of darkness, with nothing but him in his bed. Finally the voices stopped. He looked around to see nothing…then another bed faded into sight. In it was Cody…no blankets on top of him. Just Cody…lying there…nothing on him. This sight made Zack sweat and want to pounce on his brother. But he sat there…and admired him…something about the way he slept made Zack realize his brothers true beauty. It didn't matter if he lie there, naked and waiting for Zack to do anything he wanted…He knew that, if he were to do anything, it had to be with Cody's permission. He watched as he stirred cutely, his chest moving up and down with every breath. Zack admired him until he realized what he was doing…he was admiring his brother…his own flesh and blood. His TWIN. He couldn't help it and it made him sick. He had to wake him up and tell him.
"Cody!" He said. No answer. "CODY!" He finally shouted. Still no answer. Zack got up, and as soon as he got up, the beds disappeared, and Cody lie on the floor, still asleep. He began walking toward him, but no matter how far he walked, he never caught up. Walking became jogging, jogging to running, and finally, he found himself sprinting toward Cody, but to no avail. No matter how long he ran, he never caught up…
"CODY! COME BACK! I NEED YOU! CODY!" He began running, but instead of catching up, Cody drifted further away, eventually disappearing into the darkness. He fell to his knees.
"CODY! COME BACK! I NEED YOU HERE! I…" He realized what he was about to say. He thought to himself. "Do I? Do I really love him?"
Cody watched as his brother tossed and turned. He knew he was having a nightmare, but was too afraid to wake him. Until something drove him to wake his brother.
"Cody…Come back…Cody…" Zack moaned in his sleep. Cody got up and ran to his brother. "ZACK! Wake up! You're having a bad dream! Zack!" He began shaking him. "Zack!" Quickly, Zack shot up and looked around. He sighed a breath of relief until he looked at his brother, sitting at his bedside. At that moment, he broke out into hysterics.
"Zack! What's wrong? Tell me!" Cody said, finally embracing him in his arms. He didn't know why he was crying, but he knew it had something to do with him. "It's okay. I'm here. Tell me." Cody began rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down. Finally, Zack regained composure and began spilling.
"Cody. I can't hold it back any longer…I have to tell someone. Anyone." Zack said, sobbing. "Tell me." Cody said.
"Well…for the past three months I've been hiding something. Well, since I started high school, I've been hiding something. I tried hiding it with women, sports, video games, all this boy stuff…but eventually it got the best of me. It stopped working, so I gave in…" Once Zack mentioned he'd been covering something up with "manly" things, he knew EXACTLY what Zack was going to tell him.
"I thought maybe if I acted the part, it'd go away. It'd leave me alone…but it DIDN'T!" He wiped away his tears. "It ate away at me for so long and I just can't take it! Cody…" He looked into his brothers eyes. "I'm gay…I know you're probably weirded out by it, but I needed someone to talk to. Someone who I can confide in…" Zack buried his face into his hands and sobbed some more. Cody's heart sank at the realization of just how similar their problems were and at the same time, he felt relieved. Maybe now, Cody didn't HAVE to put up an act. Now he had his brother to help him get through it all. Should he…tell him?
"Zack…Don't worry, buddy. It's gonna be alright. I'm here for you. Don't worry. I don't think you're weird at all. Trust me." He hugged his brother again, who finally embraced him back and cried into his chest. Cody finally felt safe. Zack didn't realize how much Cody was relieved that he was going through the same thing. Cody knew he was ready to come clean…He just needed the right time to do so…
Zack wept, partially in joy knowing his brother was here for him. He no longer needed to keep his emotions inside of him. But one thing began to rise inside of him. His dream. He remembered what he had been thinking. Zack knew he had a huge attraction to his brother. But now, he was thinking on a whole new level. The comfort and compassion his brother showed him…it confirmed something he'd been thinking for a while now…
"I…love you, Cody."
Carrie woke up to a sound she hadn't heard since her boys were first born. One of her twins…crying. Although she was a deep sleeper, the sound of one of the boys crying always woke her up. She immediately rushed into their room.
"Who's crying? Is everything okay, boys?" She looked to see Zack still bawling into Cody's chest, Cody holding a look of worry on his face as he looked at his mom.
"Zack…baby! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Zack couldn't answer his mom in his condition, so Cody spoke up for him. Cody knew that Zack wasn't ready for their mom to know what Zack was crying about, so he lied. Something he was always horrible at. "He had a REALLY bad dream involving me. He hasn't stopped crying for an hour." Carrie took Zack into her arms, and held tight. She became increasingly worried about Zack, especially after how he'd been acting lately. She thought it as a breath of fresh air that Zack's grades were high and he hadn't been talking back to her, but she noticed how quiet he was. How distant from everyone he was.
"Zack honey…You don't have to worry anymore. I'm here. Cody is here. We have you. There's no need to worry." Carrie said, rocking back and fourth, shushing him like she did when they were infants and cried. Carrie, although worried, was filled with relief now that Zack was opening up. She noticed an entire overhaul in him. She'd hoped that, maybe, he'd be a lot more open with her now. She spent the rest of the night consoling Zack and nursing him back to sleep. She felt like a mother again, and felt that all was right in the world.
"Here honey. Pancakes and bacon! Dig in!" She handed Zack a plate. Carrie had let the boys miss a day of school after the nights ordeal. Cody was already halfway finished with his. Zack wasn't used to getting this sort of comfort and usually, he didn't like it. This time, however, he enjoyed it. After sleeping some, he felt relief. In his heart and his emotions. The tugging feeling was gone. He no longer needed to hide his feelings toward boys, as long as Cody were around. Sure, he now struggled with his love for Cody, but as long as he was there by his side, there was no need for it to eat at him. As far as he knew, he had him.
Cody's attitude overhauled after last night. He no longer kept to himself. Whenever he was upset, he went to Zack. It's like they were best friends. He was closer to him now more than he ever had been. He consoled Zack whenever he needed it. Though, he felt it at the pit of his heart…
"I need to tell Zack."
"Okay boys! I'm gonna go out and get us some movies! We'll watch them all while eating junk food!" Before the twins could make a remark about how she was acting weird, she zipped off. Cody finally had the chance…he just needed the opportunity…Which came to him.
"Hey Cody…thanks. Thank you for being there for me. I know you've been going through a lot yourself, but it means a lot to me." Zack said with his highly feminine voice. Cody noticed the change. He had a gay lisp and his voice was slightly higher. Otherwise, Zack's voice was still the same. He looked at Zack, and finally took in what had been in front of him all along. He almost felt dumb for not realizing it sooner. Zack's lisp and higher voice, he always dressed nicely and metro, he was reading romance novels, wasn't dating girls, doing his eyebrows, shaving his legs and arms, his walk had a small strut, and his vocabulary shot up tenfold. He was truly and genuinely gay. After taking the sight in, he knew he was able to do it…
"No problem, buddy. Actually, there's something I need to tell you, too. Zack…" He grabs his hands, putting a surprised look on Zack's face. "I'm…gay, too." Cody dropped his head low, as if he'd said something horrible. Zack's eyes widened, almost popping out of his head.
"REALLY? But…you were all…manly. Kissing all those girls, everything!" Zack asked.
"Zack! Don't you realize, it's exactly what you did." Cody begins to explain everything he'd done to try getting rid of it. The girls, the sports. He even explained his dream. Everything came out…and Zack listened intently. Cody spilled everything to his brother. Cody felt relief. He no longer had a worry in the world.
As Zack listened, he began thinking…
"Maybe now there's a chance…Just maybe…"
A/N: FINALLY! Our twins are out and about! XD My favorite chapter so far! What's your favorite chapter? We can now move on to the more…interesting parts. You thought this was emotional!? Wait until you see what's up next! Review guys! I'm working on it right now! I just wanna take the time to shout out a few of my favorite authors here that inspired me to write a fanfic as emotional, developmental, and awesome as this one! Shout out to AnimeKeepsBreathing, Erika Extasy, & The Hurricane 13. You guys rock! ^_^
