Midnight

Donna and Mac were lounging on two reclining sort of chairs by the pool of the Leisure Palace of the planet Midnight. Well, one of the pools, it WAS a palace after all. It was an enormous structure that had been lowered down onto the planet from space. Mostly due to the fact that there wasn't any air to breathe outside the walls of the palace and that the sunlight that hit the planet was Xtonic, and very VERY deadly. Normally Mac would have been raging at the Doctor for taking Donna somewhere like that. One wrong move, one breach in the walls and everyone in that palace would die. On crack in the rather thick windows could mean instant frying from the sun's rays. But the palace had been going for quite some time now and nothing bad had happened. It was a place to relax, NOT to explore so there was little chance the Doctor would be able to get them into anything dangerous.

But, of course, he was not as easily occupied as the women were, she and Donna lying there in plush white dressing gowns, relaxing with gentle music playing above them, the diamond landscape of Midnight glittering and glistening through the windows. The Doctor never had been one to just lie about…unless he was cuddling with someone and Mac was NOT about to let that happen. She had…calmed down somewhat, in her completely biting remarks to the Doctor, at least those that related to his companions being in danger because of him. Being in the Library with River, having agreed with the Doctor to teleport Donna out, it had made her just as responsible for the woman's plight in being caught in the hard drive like she had been. That time it hadn't entirely been the Doctor's fault and so, until she knew more about all the past adventures, she knew she shouldn't bring it up and keep bringing it up, unless SHE knew what the story was behind the last danger and could determine if there wasn't anything the Doctor could have done or said differently that would help prevent that danger from occurring.

But because the Doctor was absolute rubbish at staying still, he'd been as jittery as a newborn animal and pacing and talking…and talking…and talking…to the point where Donna was ready to tape his mouth shut. Mac was always more than ready to punch him unconscious though, so Donna suggested he go on one of the shuttle tours, go see something new, go on an adventure of his own. Mac was all too happy to have him do that alone, because Donna's words meant DONNA wasn't going, so neither did SHE. And she was thrilled with that. If she had to be stuck in a small little shuttle, with the Doctor and his gob for hours on end…the Universe would be short one Time Lord by the end of it.

Of course, that wasn't going to stop the Doctor from trying to contact them one more time before he departed. Which was why a butler walked over to where the two women were lounging with a ringing phone on a tray. He held the tray out between the women, Donna glancing over to see Mac refuse to answer it and rolled her eyes, reaching out to take the phone as the butler set it down and walked away to give them privacy.

"We said, no!" Donna snapped, making Mac smirk as she laid there with her eyes closed, not even needing to know what the Doctor was going to say.

"Sapphire waterfall!" the Doctor tried to entice her, Mac able to hear his giddy voice from where she was, "It's a waterfall made of sapphires! This enormous jewel, size of a glacier, reaches the Cliffs of Oblivion, and then shatters into sapphires at the edge, they fall 100,000 feet into a crystal ravine."

"Don't fall for it Donna," Mac glanced at her to see the ginger smiling at the image of the waterfall, "If it's not that it's 'the Medusa Cascade and the stars that burn green like the snakes on her head, glittering and spinning in space as though they're moving!'" she mimicked the Doctor's voice rather well.

Donna nodded, realizing this was how the Doctor tried to get everyone to go with him somewhere, "I bet you say that to all the girls."

The Doctor was quiet a moment, "Did Mackenzie tell you about the Medusa Cascade?" he sighed as Donna laughed, "Come on! Please? They're boarding now! It's no fun if I see it on my own. Four hours, that's all it takes."

"Four hours one way," Mac muttered.

Donna stared at her a moment, pressing the phone to her shoulder, "Seriously?" Mac merely nodded as Donna shook her head, NOT about to suffer through that, "No," she decided, "That's four hours there and four hours back, it's like a school trip. I'd rather go sunbathing and hang out with Mac."

The Doctor sighed but gave in, "You be careful, that's Xtonic sunlight."

"Oh, I know," Donna nodded, "Mackenzie warned me all about it. But we're safe safe. It says in the brochure this glass is fifteen feet thick."

"Alright," the Doctor gave another sigh, "I give up. I'll be back for dinner, we'll try that anti-gravity restaurant. With bibs."

"That's a date," Donna nodded, before her eyes widened realizing what she'd just said and glanced at Mac to see her giving her a look, "Well, not a date. Well, not for us. Well, any of us," she added with a wince when Mac's eyes narrowed, just KNOWING Donna had been about to try and say it might be a date for THEM and not herself. Donna seemed determined to see them reconciled no matter but…she could admit she didn't know the entire story of what had happened between the two of them on Gallifrey, but she was determined to find out, "Oh, you know what I mean. Oh get off!"

"See you later," the Doctor called.

"Bye!" Mac replied in a tone that implied he should hang up the phone now.

"Oi!" Donna cut in, keeping him on the line, "You be careful, alright?"

"Nah," he chuckled, "Taking a big space truck with a bunch of strangers across a diamond planet called Midnight, what could possibly go wrong?"

"I bet you ten quid," Mac began as the call ended, "That he's got this ridiculous grin on his face when he said that."

"Not taking that bet," Donna shook her head, "I know he had a stupid grin on his face."

The two women looked at each other and shook their heads, lying back down and closing their eyes to continue their relaxation.

~8~

The buffet in the Leisure Palace was exceptional, though Donna tended to stay more along the tables that appeared to be targeted for the human guests of the palace instead of the other aliens that wandered around. Most of the guests there WERE humans, but there were a few aliens here and there that had to be catered to as well. Though she was learning quite quickly that human tastes seemed to have changed and expanded with their own journey into space. She only really recognized an apple, some toast, honey , and tea. Thank god the tea hadn't changed, though they had some rather odd combinations and infusions of it now, but she'd gone with the regular tea. She'd also taken one tiny morsel of everything else she didn't recognize. She really HAD been serious when she'd told the Doctor that she wanted to walk in the dust and experience everything Earth had to offer. That applied to space travel as well. She probably wouldn't try the alien menus, not knowing how different they were, what they were made of, if she might be allergic to them or if it might be poisonous to humans. But she figured if they were serving what looked like alien food to humans then THAT portion of it must be edible by human standards. She really hoped it wasn't something evolutionary where the humans were immune to the toxins or whatever was in the alien foods and she'd end up taking a bite and keel over.

"Find anything good?" Donna asked as Mac sat down with her at a small table. Mac's plate was far more sparse than Donna's was, only a few pieces of food on it.

"A bit," Mac shrugged, she'd seen a few alien meals that she'd remembered eating a while ago and enjoying, taken a little more from the human side, "Makes me miss home," she murmured, Donna falling silent till Mac looked up at her, "I just mean…there were some foods that could only be made with ingredients from Gallifrey. I…miss those most."

Donna nodded, "What was your favorite food?" she wondered, just…wanting to talk about anything, anything about Gallifrey and then, hopefully, the Doctor. She had been angry and bitter at Lance for ages after the whole wedding debacle and it hadn't been till she'd talked to Nerys, of all people, about him and a…interpretation…of what happened that she'd started to feel better about it and him. Oh she still hated him with a passion, but…she'd been able to cope and move on and that was something, she could tell, that Mac hadn't been given a chance to do.

From what she'd gathered, it seemed like one misery after another just kept popping up for the woman, all related to the Doctor, and it just piled on, then, with the war, it never got a chance to be resolved. And that wasn't any way to live, with all that anger built up inside of you.

"Kilell," Mac smiled at the memory of it, "It's like a um…" she paused, trying to think of how to describe it in human terms, "It's like a cake, a small cake. Probably about the size and shape of a bar of soap? Yes. And, it was, I suppose, chocolate?" she nodded, that would be the best taste to describe it as though it wasn't quite that, "It was cut into two parts, the top and bottom and in between was a layer of this…custard? Icing?" she shook her head, "It was like a filling, a fruit sort of layer from the fruits of Gallifrey. It was the sweetest thing I'd ever had," she looked down, "It had this powered element on top of it, not sugar like on Earth, but it WAS as sweet as sugar," her smiled turned distant, "The Doctor used to make it for my birthday actually…"

Donna blinked at that, "He did? He cooked? The Doctor? The tall, skinny bloke who can't operate a toaster without setting it on fire?"

Mac laughed, "He did, at one point, possess culinary skills. He was a different man then," she reminded Donna, before she got sad again, "Or I thought he was."

Donna bit her lip, knowing that Mac would shut down if she brought up or asked about what had happened between her and the Doctor back then. She…probably could get her to talk about it, she'd gotten a lot more out of the Time Lady recently, but this wasn't the right place to do it, with scores of others sitting around them, eating, she didn't want Mac to lose her appetite either, she knew Time Lords didn't eat often, but she wanted Mac to eat when she could. It was just hitting her now though, that perhaps they didn't eat much because they were trying to find substitutes for the meals they lost on Gallifrey.

"Well eat up," she nodded her head at Mac's plate, "You are too skinny! Look at you! I could snap you in two with my pinky!"

Mac smiled at that, taking a bite of her food as Donna did the same with her own, "Time Lords are tougher than that, Donna. We may look small but we're quite resilient."

"Is that how the Doctor's managed to survive this long?" Donna joked.

"Sheer dumb luck, actually," Mac sighed, before glancing at Donna, "He never tells you, does he?"

"Doesn't tell me about a lot of things," Donna shrugged, "Which one in particular?"

"His past companions? The ones that he lost?"

Donna was quiet a moment, "No."

"That's why I wanted to stay with you Donna," she explained, "He doesn't tell anyone the true danger they're in, he doesn't tell anyone the truth. He lies all the time, to companions, to authority, to…to people he claims to care about."

"He lied to you then?" Donna eyed her, trying to keep far away from actually asking about what happened, but really, she DID want to know.

"Yeah," she swallowed, pushing her food around, "He always said I was the one person he'd never lie to…" she shrugged, "Should have realized that was a lie."

"Do…do you think there might have been a reason behind it?" Donna treaded carefully, "The Doctor always seems to have a reason not to say something or to lie."

"No," she shook her head, "He didn't. There were more reasons to be truthful with me than to lie, in the end. And that's what bothers me. He never says the truth, to anyone, he keeps trying to apologize to me," she looked at Donna, "But I can't accept it, because I can't trust him. I can't tell if he's being honest or just wants to feel less guilty. I used to think I knew him, that I knew when he was lying…but if he'd been lying to me that entire time, he has no issue lying to me now."

"You think he's lying about how sorry he feels?" Donna frowned, she…hadn't considered that. She hadn't considered that Mac might actually WANT to forgive the Doctor, even if it was deep down, but…it was true, the Doctor always lies. Rule 1 really, he lies. She'd feel exactly like Mac if Lance had been trying to apologize to her. He'd lied to her for the entirety of their engagement and relationship before that, she would never be able to believe that he was telling her the truth, that he was truly sorry.

But she knew the Doctor wasn't Lance. Yes, he lied, but…trust was built on truth and if he wanted people to trust him solely because he was the Doctor…he had to be honest at least some of the time, yes?

Mac just shrugged.

"What if…what if he's being genuine and honest?" Donna asked, "Would you forgive him?"

Mac rubbed her head, "I don't know. I've been angry for so long Donna, and there's so much to be angry about," she looked at the woman, about to be brutally honest with her, "Some man you care for…betrays you. But unlike now, where you get a happy end, you get to go off and see the Universe…you're stuck somewhere, miserable, being betrayed by your husband every single second of the day. You're trapped and you can't escape until he dies, which, given your species, isn't likely to happen. And the only reason you're in that situation…is because of that man who first betrayed you. Then, a war happens, a war that could have been avoided by that man if he'd been just a little less moral than he was, an entire planet's worth of LIFE could have been saved if that man had just done what he was tasked to do. A WAR happens because of him. And in that war, you're forced into a sweatshop, you're forced to work in unbearable conditions for years, till it all ends. And when it ends, you're homeless, your family murdered in front of you, all your people, your planet, everything you've had in your entire life is obliterated…because of that man," she swallowed hard, "The Doctor destroyed my planet Donna, and with it, he took my family. They were alive," she whispered, "They were alive at the end of the war and he killed them with his bloody time lock," she looked at Donna intently, seeing tears in the woman's eyes, "If Lance had murdered your mother and grandfather…if HE had been responsible for your father's death…would you EVER forgive him?"

Donna looked down, "No."

She almost forgot about that detail, about the war, about the planet being destroyed. She knew about it, yeah, she knew the TARDIS and Mac were all the Doctor had left, but…Mac didn't feel the same. To her, she was alone, the TARDIS was the Doctor's and the Doctor was the man who killed her family. She knew how Mac had escaped Gallifrey, she'd been told a while ago, she knew the girl would have gone right for her family if the shuttle hadn't forcibly taken her off world first.

"What's worse..." she shook her head, "There were other options Donna. He could have done so much more than what he did to end the war. He didn't have to destroy the planet. He could have taken his TARDIS back in time to when he was President, done things differently, fought to REMAIN President to change our planet's actions. He could have just strode up to the High Council, demanded his position back and taken over the war effort, made changes in it, allowed help from Allies that our current President didn't want, the people would have backed up someone willing to do that and get us help. He could have gone back in time and killed Davros...er, the creator of the Daleks," she added, seeing Donna's confused look, "Before he even had a chance to make them. Yes, the timelines would be altered exponentially without Daleks there but the planet would have remained," she swallowed hard, "He had options Donna. Those were just a few. He didn't HAVE to destroy the planet, but he chose to do it anyway."

Donna blinked, she hadn't considered that. The way the Doctor talked about the war, he made it seem like there was JUST the one option left but...if Mac could come up with those few right then and there...there were certainly more.

"He would have killed ME too," Mac reminded her, "He was going to do that to the entire planet, everyone who was on it. Including ME. He KNEW I was still there, that I was alive, but he was going to do it anyway. And I understand, or I would have, if he'd done what he had and I was on the planet. Us or save the Universe from the Daleks spreading out after they'd destroyed us, not a hard decision if we were going to die one way or the other, but...the Daleks are STILL out there, he didn't stop them and it just...it made the destruction of Gallifrey pointless then, didn't it?" she nodded, "And now…to survive that, to be without my family, to see THEM suffer…it puts it in a different perspective. As hard as I may want to remind myself it was for the 'greater good' and to protect the Universe from the Daleks, it's never going to erase seeing my planet, with my family, disappear in the blink of an eye," she looked down, "I'd have rather died with them than to have survived past them."

Donna looked up as Mac stood and brought her still-full plate back over to the trash and threw it out, before walking off. She sighed and looked down, she really hadn't considered any of that. Oh she tried to, she tried to work out why Mac might feel the way she did. But this put it all in perspective for her. Mac had survivor's guilt, and she was taking it out on the man who had killed the others. She was angry and bitter that she was alive, and was blaming the Doctor for having put her in a situation where she was a survivor like he was. She wanted to die with her family, now. She'd wanted to save them before but, failing that, she had just wanted to be with them again whether that meant being dead as well.

Donna glanced over at where Mac had disappeared to before getting up and moving to throw out her untouched food as well. She found that, as terrible as it was, she didn't want Mac to have died on Gallifrey. The Doctor was alone as it is, and even with Mac's constant digs at him, he was happier to have another there, to not be alone, he was lighter in a way. Yes, she hurt him constantly with her snide comments, but, the more she heard, the more she felt like he just might deserve it.

She really DID need to find out what had happened between them though.

So, with that in mind, Donna gave a firm nod of the head and strode out of the canteen to go find the wayward Time Lady and get her in private so she could get some answers.

~8~

In hindsight, facials were probably NOT the best time to bring up to Mac the questions that had been nagging and nagging at Donna's mind for ages now. Mostly she felt that because she'd ended up with half of her facial mask smeared down her face by the end of it, which had irritated the facialists quite a bit as, apparently, salt tears were not good for a human's skin or some other such thing.

She and Mac were sitting in a small, private room, their faces being coated in a thick but smooth green mask with, of course, the iconic cucumbers being pressed over the eyes. Donna waited till she heard the doors click shut, the masks meant to be in place for a half hour, which meant they would have privacy till then. She sat up, pulling the cucumbers off her eyes to make sure that the two purple aliens with the rather large nostrils and ears had left before she turned to Mac.

She looked at the Time Lady for a moment, debating if she really wanted to do this. Did she really want to know? She could tell that whatever had happened between Mac and the Doctor was something very serious, something that had affected them both deeply and…something that had actually happened in a way where even the Doctor felt guilty. She could see it in him, whenever he looked at Mac, the guilt eating away at him. Whatever it was that had gotten Mac so upset…the Doctor really HAD had a part in it. He really had done something that hurt the woman deeply and…she was worried her view of the man would change after learning what he'd done. She had spent so long thinking of him as this wonderful man, this incredible alien, this madman with a heart (or hearts) of gold…the man who helped make everything better.

Did she really want to ruin that image?

But then…what would be so bad about not seeing him like that? Like this far away and magical alien instead of a…real, solid man? Men, human or alien, made mistakes. Everyone did, especially the Doctor. If she learned this, he'd be a little less in the stars and more of a real person, more…human.

"Are you going to talk or just stare at me Donna?" Mac asked, not even taking the cucumbers off her eyes as she laid there.

"I'm not staring at you," she countered.

"I can feel your eyes burning a hole in my head," Mac reached up to take the slices off her eyes and turned to her, sitting up, "What's wrong?'

Donna hesitated, "I…wanted to ask you something, for a while now, but…I just…I know it's going to be very personal and, well, I didn't want to upset you or…"

"Just ask Donna," Mac cut in, "I'm not the Doctor, if someone I trust asks me something, I will tell the answer, the honest answer. No matter what the question is," she added, getting a feeling she knew exactly what Donna wanted to ask about.

Donna sighed and nodded, before taking a breath, "What…happened? Between you and the Doctor on Gallifrey? What did he do that hurt you so much?"

Mac was silent for a moment before lying back on her chair, not looking at Donna. It was…easier for her to talk about things like that when she wasn't looking at anyone else, it was like she could pretend she was just talking to herself instead of giving someone else details of her personal life.

"On Gallifrey," she began, "There are two types of marriages, those of the Contracted, which are like…betrothal contacts, marriage contracts between families…"

"That's a bit…medieval isn't it?" Donna frowned, turning on her chair to lay back down but look at her.

"It is, for all we're advanced, we still have some 'Dark Ages' in us," Mac shrugged, "We don't always have to follow our Contracts though. Because there's another type of marriage, that of the Chosen. If you find someone you're not Contracted to and you fall in love, you CAN marry them instead. That's the exemption of the Contract. It voids it and it frees the other person as well to find a Chosen of their own. If you don't find a Chosen before you're 500 years old, then your Contract is activated and you must marry your Contracted. You can, though, choose to activate the Contract before you're 500 if you want, but it'll force the other person into it as well."

"The Doctor was your Contracted wasn't he?" Donna guessed, "But he found a Chosen, was it?"

Mac looked away, "Quite the opposite actually," she murmured and Donna's eyes widened, "He was Contracted to someone else, we both were, and…" she swallowed, taking a breath, "We found each other in the Academy, in school, and we got along well. Had the same friends, and, slowly, started to become more than just friends," Donna had to smile as she saw Mac start to smile at the memory, "He was…wonderful Donna, the best man I ever knew. He was the only one I felt safe around, the only one I felt like I didn't have to worry about, ironically. I was a bit of a mother hen back then," she let out a small laugh, "Always worrying about everyone else, and…when the Doctor was there…I didn't have to worry so much because I knew he'd help me, he'd protect the others with me and…he'd be there for me."

"So…you were each other's Chosens then?"

"No."

"But you just said…"

"We were meant to be," Mac cut in, "The Doctor told me so many times that he didn't want to marry his 'wife' and that he wanted to be one of the Chosen, be someone's Chosen. And, one day…I said I might like him to be mine, if he'd want me to be his. I…I'd never seen him smile so widely before," her smile turned sad, "We decided to 'court' each other, to try and see if we might work as a pair of Chosens and, it was going well. It was going really well and…I…"

Donna frowned, reaching out to touch her arm when she saw Mac struggle to continue, "You don't have to say more Kenzie."

"Kenzie?" Mac glanced at her but Donna just shrugged, "I wanted to tell him that I…that I loved him. That I was ready to be his Chosen, that's all you need to be declared a Chosen is to tell them you love them and have them reciprocate."

"No…" Donna breathed, a pit forming in her stomach at where this was likely heading.

"I told him, that I loved him…and he turned around and ran off."

"He did what!?" Donna gaped at her.

"I should have expected it," she shrugged miserably, "He WAS one of the ones who ran from the Untempered Schism."

"The what?"

But Mac just waved her off, that was another story for another time, "So he ran off, after I'd just poured my hearts out to him…and," she took a breath, "I found out a short while later that he'd prematurely activated his Contract. He was getting married to someone else."

"Oh my god," Donna murmured, "He didn't even say why?"

"Not a word," Mac nodded, looking up at the ceiling, "I tried to see him before that, to ask him. I'm not a homewrecker Donna, if he'd told me he loved his Contracted I'd have stayed away. But it made NO sense, he'd spent the entire time at the Academy ranting about how he DIDN'T want to marry her and then…suddenly he was. It wasn't till after the wedding that he finally stopped avoiding me…but by then I took to avoiding him."

"Why?"

"It was too hard," she whispered, "The man I loved had just married someone else, hadn't even spoken to me after I told him that, and…he'd ignored me and cut me out of his life up to that point. I was angry Donna, I was SO angry because…in doing what he had…he was essentially forcing me to accept my Contract too."

"But you said he did his prematurely, so…wouldn't that have given you time to…to…to find someone else? Another Chosen?"

"It's not that easy," Mac shook her head, recalling how the Doctor had suggested the same thing, though HE knew better, "Donna, to break from a Contract, even the ones that are just for show, is a serious matter. You don't do it lightly. To proclaim someone else as your Chosen…it's a very final thing to do. Sometimes your former-Contracted doesn't like that and they'll attack you for it. That's how my father died," she glanced at Donna for a moment, "My sister broke her Contract and her former-Contracted attacked our father because of it," she looked away again, "You're only ever meant to give your hearts to your Contracted or your Chosen. And…I'd already given mine to the Doctor."

Donna nodded, hearing the hidden words in what Mac was saying, "He broke your hearts."

"So I had nothing left to give another Chosen if I'd even found one," she agreed, "Why would I risk trying to find another one when the one I truly loved had already hurt me? How could I trust that another wouldn't do the same? I couldn't stand the thought of giving my hearts away to someone else if not the Doctor and…they were already shattered, no one would accept them. I didn't trust others after that. And the Doctor knew that," she told Donna, "We knew each other better than anyone else, he knew exactly how I'd feel and how I'd react. He knew that, after doing that, the only thing left for me was my Contract. He knew I wouldn't be able to pick another Chosen even if I wanted to."

"And you were forced to marry your Contracted, weren't you?"

She nodded, "He was a selfish man, he wanted prestige, he didn't bother to find a Chosen, wasn't going to until I'd found mine and voided the Contract. But I didn't, and he got me in the end. I was forced to marry him because the Doctor married his own Contracted. I didn't have it in me, in my hearts or soul to find another Chosen after that. I became one of the Contracted because of the Doctor."

"That's not all though, is it?" Donna guessed. There was too much anger for her to just be upset over the Doctor 'stringing her along' and rejecting her.

Mac let out a long breath, "My husband didn't care for me at all, just my family name. He treated me like an object, not a person, he ignored me most of the time…until I found out I was pregnant," Donna frowned, hearing a crack in her voice, seeing her eyes fill with tears, "But I lost the baby, and I lost the ability to have any more," she added in one breath, not wanting to have to say it again.

"I'm so sorry Kenzie," Donna breathed, squeezing the girl's hand that she was holding.

"On Gallifrey, if one of a Contracted couple is infertile…the other, and only the other, may seek out other means of reproduction, for the sake of preserving the bloodlines," she recited, "Only they're not allowed to divorce their spouse. The Contracted are together till one dies. I was trapped in a marriage with a man who didn't love me, and a man who turned his back on me too, for another woman who could give him sons," she tried to cover her sniffle, "I walked in on him and his new mistress once, had no idea he'd taken one till then. I actually thought he might have respected me and our loss enough to not do that…but I was wrong," she glanced at Donna again, "I was stuck there, with that horrible man, unable to escape or even find someone else, because the Doctor activated his Contract. Everything I suffered, the centuries of neglect and solitude, were because of that marriage, something that never would have happened if the Doctor hadn't married his Contracted partner."

Donna was silent at that, at the thought that Mac had gone through that. To be stuck in a marriage that had no respect or love in it, to lose her baby and ability to conceive, to have her husband be so disloyal even if it was something that wasn't quite 'frowned upon' by Gallifreyan terms…but even more, to have told the Doctor she loved him and for him to turn his back on her and condemn her to that life…

It was awful.

She was sure some people sitting there might think it not so bad. Mac had married, her husband hadn't abused her, she'd survived a war, who cared if the Doctor didn't love her back? Why cry over the fact her marriage wasn't the best when it wasn't the worst either? Why lament that she'd survived a war, a war that the Doctor had ended for the sake of all creation?

Donna was quite sure others would think Mac overreacting but…she couldn't. She couldn't find it in her to think that Mac was making a bigger deal out of this than she should be. She had been where Mac was, she'd loved a man who didn't love her back, a man who betrayed her trust and faith in him. She'd loved a man who had left her for another person…er, woman…er, spider? She couldn't empathize with the being married and having a relationship like that, though she knew that was likely how her own with Lance might have gone if they HAD wed. He wouldn't have respected her at all, he would have cheated on her the first chance he got, he wouldn't have wanted to touch her or look at her. Oh she was sure she'd have gotten verbal abuse given the stream of poison he'd spewed when they were dealing with the Racnoss…so she could imagine it.

And that war…to have her entire planet destroyed, to be forced to travel with the man responsible for it, for not just the planet but her own family's death…she was honestly surprised Mac wasn't MORE foul to the Doctor than she was, she'd have every single right to be. Yes, the Doctor had lost his planet too, but it had been his choice to do it, not Mac's. Mac was suffering with the consequences of someone else's actions. No one realized, no one would guess, listening to Mac spout out remarks to the Doctor, that she was actually holding back. She could tell now, Mac was FAR more hurt than she was letting on, she was far more angry, and to hear what she was saying, about everything that happened…the Doctor had hurt her deeply.

She knew Time Lords lived for SO long, their hearts were precious to them, they weren't given out lightly or to anyone and for the one person Mac wanted to give them to, had already given them to, to turn his back on her and not even speak afterwards? She was quite surprised the Doctor hadn't been murdered on Gallifrey for it. She could admit SHE had reacted worse to telling a boy she loved them and having them go 'that's nice' with a stupid grin on their face. She'd punched one for it once when he'd just laughed at her and said they were just mates.

Mac had lived through so much and, from what it appeared, all a result of the Doctor's actions. He had run away from her, hadn't even said anything to her about what she'd said, not even a counter that he didn't feel the same. It really did seem like he'd strung her along, like he'd led her on and just dumped her when it got too real for him.

And that was the problem she had with it…that wasn't the Doctor. That wasn't the Doctor she knew. Granted, he was a different man then, yes but…she couldn't wrap her brain around the fact that he was THAT different that he could do something like that to someone else, to someone he appeared to actually care about.

She really did have to talk to the Doctor about this, get his opinion of it all, try to see what his version of the story was.

Because she didn't believe Mac was telling her a lie, she knew Mac was telling her the truth, the pain was real, and she didn't make the Doctor out to be some heartless monster. She just…told the story like it happened from her point of view, from what she knew of the situation. Now she just had to find the Doctor's and…she was actually scared because she got the feeling his story wouldn't be much different than Mac's.

She could only pray that his reasons justified what he'd done.

"Don't cry Donna," Mac murmured, turning to grab a tissue off a side table and handed it to Donna, "I'm sorry if it upset you."

Donna tried to dab at her eyes, to keep it from streaming down her cheeks and destroying her mask, but it was too late it appeared, "It's just…I didn't know," Donna murmured.

"No one really did," Mac remarked, "Not even on Gallifrey, they thought we'd had a falling out. I stayed away from him after he got married. I just…I was too angry, I didn't want to lash out at him…"

Donna gave a small snort at that given how much she lashed out at him now, before quickly putting her hand over her mouth, "Sorry."

"It's alright," Mac shrugged, knowing where Donna's mind had gone, what had changed between then and now, "The War happened, I lost everything, I lost…everything Donna," she repeated quietly, "I just didn't care anymore. I'm too angry. All I see when I look at him is that he's killed my family. And then I see him with you," she glanced at Donna, "And Martha and I think…he's going to kill them too if they're not careful and I can't…" she took a breath, "I can't let that happen. No more death if I can help it. So you need to know Donna," she sat up and turned to her, squeezing Donna's hand back, "It IS dangerous to travel with the Doctor. He has had other companions before you. Some he brought back to Earth, others he left in other places, some wanted to stay, some he was forced to send away. Some…died. Some of them were killed and died, for him, because of him. And it's a very real possibility, that YOU could die too."

Donna looked down, "I know," she hadn't exactly known that there had been other companions who had DIED, but she knew there was a danger of it every time.

"I won't let it happen though," Mac promised, "The Doctor may put you in danger, but I'll protect you the way he can't."

Donna nodded at that, more so to appease Mac than to say she really believed that. She knew that, whatever happened to the others, unless it was the Doctor standing before them with a gun and that HE was the one who killed them…it wasn't his fault. She was sure Mac wouldn't see it like that, she would see it as some failure on the Doctor's part due to lack of care that led to their deaths, something he should have done differently to protect them, something he should have KNOWN to do differently…that he just hadn't.

She hoped that she wouldn't be the thing that proved Mac wrong, that…sometimes…it was beyond anyone's control.

~8~

Donna was very relieved when their future topics of conversation were much less serious, solemn, and sorrowful than talking about the war and why Mac was so cross with the Doctor. She'd actually had a rather rousing time of it, she and Mac had proceeded, after their facials, to get massages and talked about dumb things that their past relationships had done. Donna had supplied most of those stories but Mac had QUITE a few to share about the Doctor that had Donna laughing so hard she was sure the second she saw the Time Lord again she wouldn't be able to imagine him without neon pink hair. It was…odd though, because there was something in Mac's voice when she talked about the Doctor from before that moment where he'd crushed her hearts, there was a fondness in it, like she saw that Doctor as separate from the one who hurt her and kept hurting her.

Donna's new mission was to get Mac to see the Doctors were all one in the same. That is…IF the Doctor's explanation for the story Mac had told her was a good one and not him being a selfish man.

Now though, they were getting manicures, pedicures to follow, and were just talking about Gallifreyan life and culture, the differences to Human life. They were all little things, some different fruits, music, clothing, holidays, but Donna loved to hear about it, she loved learning more about what Gallifrey was like. And…if she was being very honest, she was also hoping it might help in her mission to get Mac to think of happier times with the Doctor if she remembered their planet as it was. She knew it was risky because Mac might very well just end up remembering that it was gone as well, but she had to hope. She knew when she'd lost her father, what had helped her as to remember the good times she'd spent with him, the best about him, to keep her spirits up and keep his memory alive in her mind.

Mac had cut herself off in the middle of explaining why the Time Lords wore such funny hats, when an announcement had come over the speakers.

"Paging Mr. Revik, please attend."

Mac froze, and Donna looked at her, concerned, "What is it?" she frowned, eyeing the woman, "Someone you know?"

"No," Mac shook her head, before looking at the two aliens doing their nails, "I'm sorry, but we have to go," she told them, apologizing as she stood, motioning for Donna to follow her out as she strode out of the room.

"Ok, you're putting your hair up," Donna blinked as Mac did just that, tying it back into the bun she'd spent HOURS convincing her to leave it out of, "Why?"

"I can't have it falling in front of my face when I hack into their computer systems."

"Why are we hacking into their computer systems?"

"Because that page Donna," she turned to her, "Mr. Revik is code on most intergalactic locations for a shuttle in need of assistance. Like…how paging Mr. Skylight is a code for Earth ships to alert the crews that there's a minor incident somewhere without alarming the guests. They page Mr. Revik to alert engineering and other personnel that they need to go help a shuttle, either for being stranded or having engine problems, or injury onboard. And the only shuttle that departed here was…"

"The Doctor's," Donna realized, "Well what are we waiting for, let's go!"

Mac waited as Donna strode past her down a left hall, "This way Donna," she called, turning down the right one as Donna raced after her.

"How exactly are we going to get access to their computers without the psychic paper?" Donna whispered as they walked.

"The Doctor relies too much on that," she muttered.

"So you've got a plan then?"

Mac could only shake her head, "I'll let you know when I see what they have lying about."

Donna wisely kept her mouth shut about how much like the Doctor that sounded with how he 'made it up' as he went.

~8~

Mac was…rather disappointed , to say the least, when they managed to find the security room and found that there was no one there. Everything seemed to be fully automated inside that small room, it was more that there was facial recognition programs running that documented all guests…which explained why the Doctor had gone to one of the information terminals and soniced it right when they got there, adding their faces to the programs. Anyone who wasn't recognized, an alert would be sent to the nearest guard that was wandering about.

She was happy that there was no one there she'd have to deal with or talk her way around or anything like that, but she was sad because she'd been hoping to display some of her skills to Donna, show her not all Time Lords relied on sonics and lying and breaking things. But sadly it was just a simple computer, all too easy to hack. Midnight operated under the belief that those who came to the Leisure Palaces were interested only in relaxing, which they were correct in, and so no one would be likely to go snooping around the different rooms and hacking into their systems.

Well, that was their fault then as she moved to sit in a spinning chair and began tapping away at the keyboards, trying to see if it could connect to the security footages on the shuttles. The crew that would be sent out to the shuttle would need to know what sort of event was going on, if it was an engine situation or something with the passengers. As there was no direct feed up, she could assume that the original distress call had to do with the engine but…knowing the Doctor's luck…there was bound to be something going on with the passengers too, even if it was just them trying to murder the Doctor so he'd stop talking.

"What are you doing?" Donna whispered even though it wasn't needed.

"I'm trying to hack into the shuttle's security feed," she answered, squinting a bit as Donna had insisted she leave her glasses back in the small locker that they gave the guests in exchange for their robes, "See if we can see what's going on inside it…hold on…" she leaned in a bit closer, reading the code she'd entered and backspacing once to make sure that she'd gotten it right, hitting enter.

"Oh my god!" Donna gasped, seeing that there were people arguing and shouting, even without audio available, they could see they were getting hysterical.

The Doctor was on the ground, sitting there, staring straight ahead, fear in his eyes but seeming paralyzed. There was a blonde woman behind him smirking away, watching his frozen form, clearly too pleased yet the humans didn't seem to notice. A young boy in black seemed nearing a breakdown, a young black woman with her hair in two buns was near tears. The woman in Midnight's uniform, probably the Hostess, was looking around frantically between the blonde and the Doctor…

And then two men strode forward and grabbed him, tugging and pulling him, unresisting towards the exit!

"What are they doing!?" Mac shook her head, before starting to type quickly.

"What's going on?" Donna breathed, "What are they going to do?"

"It looks like they're about to throw him out," Mac shook her head, her fingers flying across the keys, "I'm sending an override command to the shuttle's systems, locking the doors so they can't…"

"Why would they throw him out?"

Mac glanced at the screen, eyeing the scene critically, "You see that woman, the blonde who's smirking?"

"Yeah, what about her?"

"She's too pleased, she's too in control, I doubt she's human anymore."

"What, you mean she's an alien?"

"Or possessed by one," Mac muttered, "She's controlling the situation, she wants the Doctor out of there…I dunno why," she added quickly, "Maybe he worked out what she was or tried to stop it or something…just, give me a moment…"

Donna watched with baited breath when suddenly the Hostess leapt forward, pointing at the blonde woman, before she grabbed her and struggled to pull her towards the door instead.

"Kenzie what do we do?" Donna shook her head.

Mac swallowed hard, "If she tries to open the doors it'll take too long, the emergency protocols will keep the area sealed for six seconds…the blonde could get away unless she holds her in place."

"Can't she shove her through?"

"No," Mac answered, "The seal would hold too firm, it would act like a door."

"Can't you change it?" Donna looked at her, "Cancel out the signal or something?"

"I think so," Mac nodded, getting to work on that, Donna watching intently as the Hostess neared the doors, "There!" Mac hit the last of the code in and the door shot open just as the Hostess reached it, the woman's eyes widening as she quickly shoved the blonde out and through the seal that didn't exist. Mac hit a button, the door flying shut just as the Hostess was nearly sucked out after the woman.

Donna winced as the woman slammed into the door as it shut, but let out a breath, she was still alive at least.

"It's alright now," Mac murmured, tapping the screen where they could see the Doctor suddenly gasp and roll on his side, moving and talking once more, "It let him go."

Donna watched as Mac leaned forward and rested her head in her hands a moment, and had to smile. For all she claimed to 'hate' the Doctor and for how angry she was with him…she knew, deep down, VERY deep down, Mac still cared for him at least.

She let out a soft laugh as she realized something, Mac had said she'd given the Doctor her hearts and, even though he'd broken them, she hadn't said anything about him having given them back.

~8~

Mac and Donna stood together where the shuttle was re-docking, waiting, watching as the passengers filed out, all of them there except the driver, mechanic, and the blonde woman. The Doctor was the last to leave though, which Mac expected, he always liked either being in the forefront and leading the way or keeping an eye on things from behind and this experience…she knew had to have shaken him.

He looked up when he saw them, Donna moving forward to give him a hug even as his gaze remained locked on Mac over her shoulder.

Mac swallowed, seeing how tightly he was hugging Donna and stepped over, "Are…you ok?" she offered and he frowned at her, "You were always afraid of being helpless."

He blinked, "How did you…"

"We saw," Donna whispered as she pulled back, "Mac heard them paging a Rekiv…"

"Revik," Mac corrected.

"What she said," Donna nodded, "And said it meant your shuttle was in trouble. She hacked into the security on the shuttle and we…we saw them trying to drag you out."

"What…happened?" Mac asked cautiously, not wanting to seem…concerned. Because she wasn't she just wanted to know what alien the blonde woman was or what parasite it was or whatever.

The Doctor could only sigh and run a hand down his face, shaking his head slightly.

"Come on," Donna took his arm and led him off, "Let's go somewhere more private."

~8~

"What d'you think it was?" Donna had to ask after the Doctor finished recounting his tale of being in the shuttle, the hysteria of the other humans, how he'd felt when the alien had infected him as well.

"No idea," he shrugged, sitting forward on the lounging chair by the skylight and pools again, Mac and Donna across from him.

"Whatever it was, it's still out there," Mac glanced up at the thick windows, the diamonds glinting in the sun.

"Well, you'd better tell 'em that," Donna looked at them, "This lot."

"Yeah," the Doctor scoffed, sounding almost as bitter as Mac had been sounding, "They can build a Leisure Palace somewhere else. Let this planet keep on turning, round an Xtonic star. In silence."

Mac eyed him a moment, before she got up.

"Oi!" Donna called, "Where are you going?"

"To tell them?" Mac shrugged, "By now, UNIT's expanded into an intergalactic organization," she reminded them, "A Time Lord still currently working for them ought to get some sort of protective measures put in place."

"I can do it," the Doctor offered.

"You're listed as on sabbatical," Mac shook her head, "I've given them the order to keep my data continuously 'on call' till I say so. And I won't," she turned around and headed out of the room.

Donna eyed the Doctor, seeing him smiling a bit more at what Mac was doing. She knew what it was too, she'd seen him give up, seen him feel helpless, so she was going to help them…for him.

"Can't imagine you, without a voice," she joked, pulling his attention back.

"Molto bene," he gave her a small smile.

"Molto bene!"

"No," he winced, "Don't do that. Don't. Don't..."

"Sorry," Donna whispered, the two of them falling silent, before she took a breath, knowing this might be the only chance she got to ask him this question, "Doctor…Mac told me…about what happened on Gallifrey."

The Doctor's head shot up to look at her, his eyes wide, "She told you?"

She nodded, "About Chosens and Contracteds and…you two," she watched him let out a breath and hang his head, "I…I just wanted to ask, before I decide if I should smack you or her, but…why did you do it?" she shook her head softly, "They way she talked about you Doctor, she loved you, more than anything and…I can see it," she added, getting off the side of her chair to kneel before him, putting a hand on his knee so he'd look at her, "I see the way you look at her when her back's turned, the regret…and the love," she looked at him intently when he didn't deny either feeling, "You still love her, don't you?"

He swallowed hard, "Yeah."

"Then why would you do that to her then?" that was what she didn't understand.

"Donna…you have to understand something about Gallifreyan culture," he began, about to speak of something he…hadn't told anyone, ever, not even on Gallifrey. He'd…he'd only told his wife, before they were married, so she would understand why he was activating the contract, "My family wasn't very prestigious, in fact many people thought us odd, un-Time Lord-like and what have you. Too human or something, I'm not sure I remember anymore," he sighed, "Mackenzie…her family was one of the higher ones, entitled, well-off, true high-society. They had a LONG history of making Contracts for the betterment of the family, for stronger political ties, for…for the benefit of their children, so that their sons and daughters would be well cared for, well supported, comfortable…" he looked down, "Her husband was…a business man, wealthy, well-connected, powerful…"

"Doctor…" Donna breathed, seeing where this was going, she'd read too many romance novels not to see it.

"I couldn't give her that," he admitted, "I couldn't offer her protection or financial security or…or comfort or anything. I was the Time Lord eager to fly off in a TARDIS, see the Universe, get involved, something our people are NOT meant to do. I broke…hundreds of laws, ended up exiled for a time, ended up on trial, in the most dangerous situations and…I would have dragged her down with me. I would have dragged her name through the mud for being tied to mine and…she would have lost everything she'd grown up with. I…I wanted her safe and cared for and supported and secure and stable and…and…and everything I couldn't give her," he looked at Donna pleadingly, needing her to understand, needing just one person to understand, "I wanted her to have a better life than what I could give her."

"So you gave her up," Donna murmured, "So she could have that."

He swallowed hard and looked down.

"Oh Doctor…you really are a great big, outer-space dunce," she whispered.

He could only nod to that, though for a different reason than what Donna meant. He thought it was her agreeing with Mac, that he'd done completely wrong by her, and yes…she agreed he'd made a whopping mistake but…

She was more saying it because…Mac didn't care about that, any of that, she just cared about him, and he, in trying to give her a better life, had ended up making for a miserable one.

Because she could tell, Mac might have had a harder life with him, but she would have had a happier one than ever.

But still…she had to smile, because that was such a Doctor thing to do, to put someone else's happiness above his own. She could tell that he loved Mac as much as she had him…now she just had to convince Mac that he really did love her and THAT was why he'd done what he had, not because he didn't care, but because he cared for her more than anything.

He'd certainly gotten them both into a right old mess hadn't he?

A/N: The 'paging Mr. Skylight' is an actual thing, little interesting factoid for you ;) I hope you liked the little twist here where the TL DIDN'T go with the Doctor on the shuttle ;) I really wanted to give some more bonding time with Donna. I think Mac told her what she did, when she hadn't told Martha because Donna hasn't 'betrayed her trust' yet :) I can say we'll see some more twisting going on in the next chapter too ;)

But poor Doctor, he just wanted her to have the life he couldn't give her :'( I can say we'll find out a little bit of his thoughts on time locking the planet with her on it when Davros makes an appearance ;) He's got a reason for that as well that may sort of show how well he knows her even centuries later ;)

Some notes on reviews...

Lol, the 'shut up' was actually in the episode but directed at River, so I didn't technically add it in ;) And it had nothing to really do with her guilt tripping or snide commenting him but more her actually trying to keep him alive ironically lol :) I can say most of my DW stories will be NewWho. I haven't seen the entire movie yet or much of the Classic Series. I DO plan to do AU versions for the TLs that would involve Gallifrey and potentially the Classic episodes, but I'd have to see them first :)

I'm glad you didn't realize till just before she said it, I try to aim for things like that, where it's bits and pieces that fit together right when the moment happens :) I think the Doctor would have to tell Mac he wanted her to be his Chosen before he even had children for her to be that upset ;) We'll find out how old Mac is within the next few chapters ;) As for Midnight, definitely not Mac-lite and hopefully very different from past versions of it ;) Oh Mac is very aware of his guilt, I think it might be another reason she says some things she does, because she knows the guilt will get to him even more :(

Lol, I think people keep asking about mac and Time Babies because they hope I'll change my mind or that I'm trying to trick you all. There have been a few stories where I'll get the same sort of question over and over for a short time with the same answer :)

I can say that Donna will have a very big impact on Mac, whether it means she manages to save Donna or not, I can't say. But...she has promised and sworn to protect her though ;)

I've heard SOPA is back, but I've also read quite a few articles that say it's not actually a real thing and more a sort of pseudo-scam type thing :/

I'm glad you like the daily updates and that it brightens your day :) I sort of just write every spare minute I have :)

I've added the AU-9&Mac to my list of AUs to write, so we'll definitely see it happen one day in the future :)

I don't think Amy could help with the Time Babies or offering to carry them...she can't have children either :( And, we saw what happened to Amy just carrying a half-Time Lord baby (even if we don't know whether it was an affect of that or something Kovarian did to her), the potential is still there that it would be harmful to a human to carry a Time Lord child to term and possibly lead to their own infertility...I can't see Mac EVER doing that to another person just so she can have a child :(