Disclaimer: The Idea of a non-dark goofy Revan!Naruto belongs to me. That's about it though.

J.E.P 1996: I re-updated last chapter with this comment, but I don't know that you'll go back and look, so I'm putting it here. I have never seen Pulp Fiction, so I have no Idea what I may have inadvertently quoted. If it's the thing with the Mandalorians, that's actually KotOR canon. I don't think I will post longer chapters, as the shorter ones allow people to get updated more often, and allow me to respond more flexibly to reviews. Sorry.

ChronoMitsurugi: Pretty much.

cpg468: I fixed my mistake in the footnote, thanks for catching that.

BlackRevenant: The thing with the Jedi and Sith being One Order in the past will come up.

Fury074: Whoops, you're right. In Pace Requiescat is Italian. My bad. Fixed.


Shinobi of The Old Republic

Chapter 3a: Resupply and Seduction

"Don't you think we should get a different apartment?"

"No."

"But people most likely saw Trask and I move in, and you kicked in the door. How the hell did you even do that, anyway? It has no hinges!"

"I'm awesome. And you're forgetting, I kicked down the door while disguised as a Sith. Which is why this apartment is more secure than some random one, even with the broken door. The Sith won't investigate this apartment because they think they already did. Whereas any new apartment we pick out might get searched at random."

"But they're going to be missing the report of the supposed search! That'll raise a red flag for sure!"

"I submitted a fake one, and besides, an..escape pod from the Endar Spire landed on their main HQ. The veracity of one report isn't a high priority for them right now."

Carth paused, and looked at me with suspicion. "How did you submit a fake report? The Sith Network is encrypted!"

"One, the guy I stole the armor from, who is in no condition to report his armor stolen, before you start asking about that, also had the encryption key on him, so he could submit reports. Two, the Sith encryption codes are actually Republic encryption codes from just before they rebelled." For the first few months they weren't, but once I realized how easily I was kicking the Republic's ass , I had them changed back, in order to give them a handicap. That was two years ago, and NOBODY, Republic or Sith, has figured this out.

Carth recoiled in shock. "You're kidding me!"

"Nope. Anyway, the apartment's as safe as we're going to get, so let's focus on resupply. Now, one of the reports I perused while i was submitting mine said that the weapon's shop may be selling permacrete detonators for "industrial use." Now, I'm not a man who will shy from a little excess firepower, so I recommend that as our first stop. After that, we stop at the local watering hole and fish for information, and after that, swing by the local clinic and see if they won't let us stock up on medical supplies. After that, we swing by a droid shop, see if they won't part with one or two. Even if It's a mere remote, those things come in handy. Then we look for survivors, as well as Busty-la. they will most likely be in the Undercity, so we may have to filch a few documents in order to get through the security checkpoints. Any Objections?"

"It's more of a plan than I had. Although, I think her name is Bastila."

"I'll call her by her name when she stops being a bitch."

"I think you're being a little unfair."

"She tried Jedi- Mind Tricking me into forgetting that I used to be a Jedi just because I offended her sensibilities." Well, if leading an opposing religious sect that she was at war with counts as offending her sensibilities, but still. Dick move.

"...As you were."

"Oh, by the way, don't mention that I am a Jedi to her. I'm trying to trick her into thinking it worked."

"Why?"

"To fuck with her head. Why else? A little mention of deja-vu here and there, a casual sagacious comment now and again, and she'll be like a Hutt around an IRS agent. It'll be hilarious."

"...Remind me never to piss you off."

"Nah, you're cool in my book, Carth."

SCENE BREAK

We were at the Personal Defense store (AKA the Gun Shop.) I was examining a Permacrete detonator, whilst Carth was looking at the blaster pistols.

"Hey, Naruto."

"Whassup?

"What's 'A Naboo'?"

"Oh, I just used a cruiser missile on them."

"The Endar Spire didn't have cruise missiles."

"The Endar Spire was the missile."

Carth gave me one of his increasingly common WTF? looks.

"You know what? Screw it. I don't wanna know." He said after a long moment.

"Now you're catching on."

Scene Break

"So, gorgeous, you come here often?" I say to the slightly buzzed Sith at the cantina. She's not bad, I'd say 7 out of 10. I might've actually considered going for it, if I wasn't on the clock.

Hey, I'm not that kid for whom getting Sakura to give him a hug is the extent is the extent of his sex drive, anymore. I've gone on my fair share of seduction ops.

Speaking of which...

"Of Course! What else Am I going to do on this Force-forsaken rock! All of the locals whine and complain about the lockdown, but WE'RE just as stuck here as they are!"

"I know what you mean. It can get a little... Frustrating." I purr. No, Seriously. Due to having the Kyuubi in me for so long, my vocal cords have literally mutated to let me growl and all that crap.

She gives me an appraising look.

"Wanna blow off some steam?" She says, conspiratorially.

I raise my eyebrows. That was easy. "With a beautiful woman like you, I'm always ready for some...stress relief."

"Well, I have to go on patrol in the Lower City, but when get back, some of my co-workers are throwing a party, If you want to join." Ooh, that works even better. More places for the blame to go when they find out certain documents are missing. And most likely, everyone will be too blitzed to give an accurate description if they do realize it was me.

"Well," I drawl, "I was hoping for a little more... private an evening, but it does sound fun, in its own way. I'm game. Just let me know where to show up. Though, I might bring a friend, if that's all right. He could use a little R&R himself."

She shrugs. "The more the Merrier! Just be here," she writes down an address on a napkin, "by 21:00. It's a date!" she says, kissing the napkin, leaving an unmistakable lipstick mark on it, before handing it to me. I take it, and put my lips to where the lipstick mark is, and give her a wink. She laughs, and walks away, presumably to the patrol she mentioned.

"What the hell, Naruto!" Carth glowers at me.

"Hey, If you had your eyes on her, you should have said something, Bud."

Carth's eyes narrow even further. Somehow, I don't think that's his problem.