Chapter 7
I got a call from Shay when I left the meeting I had with Amy.
"Hey babe." I said
"Hey Ash, did you find out about the meeting?" Her voice sounded worried and nervous
"Yeah I did, where are you?"
"I'm heading home, gotta take care of a few things before 4."
"Aw I was looking forward to coming home to you." I pouted even though she couldn't see me
"I'm sorry love. I'll see you at 4 okay?"
"Okay, bye Shay."
I wasn't really that nervous about the meeting, I knew it my heart that nothing was worth ending things with Shay. She was my #1 priority, and even though some might find it weird because we're not even officially together, she was my world. I couldn't deny that, not anymore. So when the clock stroke 4, I was at the meeting with Shay, Amy, and David.
"Okay girls, would you like to tell us what's going on?" David asked, and even though it was a simple question, it seemed kind of hard to answer because we never really talked about anything.
"Well, we haven't really talked about anything yet but when we were in New York, we found out about some mutual feelings and things just sort of went from there." I said
"You two can't exactly do that." He said
"What do you mean?" Shay asked
"Well, I hate to break it to you, but you're not like anyone else. You're not like the two girls you may find drinking coffee at a cafe or walking down the streets, you're Shay Mitchell and Ashley Benson. You can't be making decisions of doing things like kissing in public on your own, especially now that I know that the case explains you're not even together."
"So we might have made a mistake about being intimate in public, so what?" I said, starting to tense up.
"You can't make mistakes when it comes to topics like this Ashley! You have to be careful! Thank God we got that picture in time! You two don't even know the consequences of you being together." Amy joined in
"What do you mean by consequences?" Shay asked, still seemingly calmed which surprised me. Am I overreacting or is she over relaxed?
"Well for starters, this could affect you both career wise. Especially you Shay, since you already play a lesbian on a tv show, your chances of getting a role as a straight character will decrease by a long shot. And Ashley, it's going to ruin a lot of the publicity going on on 'Haleb', you could be causing a big problem to the show by dating people that aren't actually together on the show." David said
"I don't give a damn about the stupid show!" I snapped
"Well like it or not you're on that show, and you're committed to it."
"So that means I have to stop living because of it?"
"We didn't say that Ashley, but even other than career wise, will you two handle the stress and pressure the paparazzi is going to be causing you? The headlines, the rumors from now on. It all comes in a package, a package i'd like to call a grenade." Amy said
"Okay so you're basically saying that we can't be together?" I said
"We're not saying that, we just want you to make sure you make the correct decision by thinking about this, a lot." David added
"I'm personally done here for today, I can't hear any more of this." I grabbed my stuff and walked right out the door. I couldn't believe my ears! Am I seriously supposed to give up what I've been working so hard to get for years because of some stupid publicity or fame? No, never. Not me, not this girl.
Where was Shay though? And why did she barely talk in that meeting? However with the anger I was feeling deep down, I couldn't handle waiting for her, so I got in my car and drove off.
I tried calling Shay when I got home, but she never returned any of my calls or text. Where is she? I shrugged it off hoping I would hear from Shay soon, and decided to nap for a while. I woke up a few hours later by the sound of my phone ringing, I wasn't entirely bothered when I took a look at the caller I.D though, it was Shay.
"Hey, where were you?" I asked
"I was uh, just busy. Are you home?" She asked
"I am."
"I'm coming over."
"Okay." And with that she hung up. I'd usually get excited when Shay says she's coming over, but there was something different about this time. Her voice sounded different, and I had this bad feeling in my stomach that I couldn't shake off.
15 mins later the doorbell rang, and it was obviously Shay.
"Hey babe." I leaned in to give her a kiss but she looked down instead.
"What's wrong?" I said
"Can we talk?" She said, her voice barely a whisper, and when she did look up I could tell how puffy and red her eyes were, like she was crying.
"Come in." I grabbed her arm and we sat on the couch.
"Hey, what's going on?" I said
She looked everywhere but at me.
"Shay, look at me." I said lifting her chin up, when I saw the tears forming in her eyes.
"Ashley I…" Her voice was breaking down
"Hey, hey why are you crying? What's going on baby?" I started tearing up just at the sight of her like this. I wiped her tears with one hand and held her hand with another.
"Ash, I'm so sorry." Sorry? What's she sorry for?
"What do you mean?" I asked, clearly confused
"Ashley…" I could tell she couldn't find the words to say
"Shay what happened?"
"I c-can't do this." She breathed out
"Do what? What are you talking about?" Dear Lord please don't let it be what I'm thinking about.
"Ash I can't do this, us. I can't, I'm so sorry." To say I was in shock was an understatement. I directly let go off her hand.
"What are you talking about?"
"Ashley, this is too much to take in. It's too complicated, I can't do it."
"You may not be able to do this on your own, but we can do this together. We can, Shay." I held her hand again to assure her.
"No, we can't! You heard what they said, we'll be hurting everyone by the decision we make."
"So instead we're supposed to hurt ourselves?!" I yelled
"Ashley please understand-"
"Understand what?! Huh? Tell me! Am I supposed to understand that all the time we spent in New York was nothing but a lie? Or am I supposed to understand how you said you loved me but now you're leaving? Or am I supposed to understand that after all the goddamn years I fucking waited for you and gone through so much pain and bullshit you finally give me hope only to drop me like that?!"
"Ash it's not like that!" She was sobbing and so was I.
"What's not like that Shay? D-don't do this. Please don't do this, don't leave me. Please Shay." I was willing to get down on one knee and beg if I had to.
"Ashley, I'm s-sorry. I don't have a choice!"
"There's always a fucking choice! You're CHOOSING to leave me! Why? Am I not good enough for you Miss Shay Mitchell? Why did you lie then? Why did you fucking say you loved me?!"
"BECAUSE I DO!"
"Then stay!"
"It's not that easy."
"I hate you. I hate you so much. I fucking hate you!" I realized I was spitting poison out of my mouth but I didn't care, I didn't give one single damn.
She still approached me and kissed me though, and I still let her. We still made love that night, and even though I shouldn't have, I still expected her to be right there next to me when I woke up. But she wasn't, she had left. She was gone. I had lost her.
