1 Past, Present, Future

Chapter 7

They had moved their conversation to the little Italian restaurant across the street, for no other reason than that they were all starving. Munch and Olivia sat next to each other, once and a while giving each other sideways glances throughout the meal. Once they had all finished eating, they both sighed and allowed the others to continue interrogating them.

Fin and Elliot both had the same question on their minds, but didn't have the courage to ask it out loud. They silently willed the other to do it for them. After almost five minutes of dead silence, (the restaurant was practically empty, save for them) Munch couldn't take it anymore and raised his eyebrows expectantly, " If you guys have something to ask, we'll listen, and then decide if we feel like answering or not, okay?"

Elliot hesitated for another moment before taking a deep breath. He then asked with an air of great caution, " Olivia...was John there when you found out about your father?" Olivia paled and looked helplessly towards Munch. That night was one she always wished she could forget. Seeing Olivia's facial expression, Munch tensed. " Elliot, I don't think getting into that right now would be-

"No, John. It's okay. They should know about that night, it'll help them understand." She then said quietly, as if reassuring herself, " they need to know."

Olivia flew up the remaining flights of stairs, not caring that somewhere along the way she had fallen and banged her arm, making it bleed. Tears began to block her vision, and she hastily wiped them away, as if she still believed her mother could see her. She reached the top floor and swung the door to the roof open so roughly that John swivelled around and looked up at her, startled. Seeing her disheveled and heartbroken appearance, he immediately ran over to her.

"Liv, honey. What's wrong?" She sniffled and composed herself somewhat before saying, " My mom...m-my mom..."

She trailed off and the tears came flowing out again. John's heart sunk. He hadn't seen her cry this much since the day he had found her, curled up in that cardboard box. He asked worriedly, placing a his hands on her shoulders,

" What about your mom, Olivia? What did she do to you?"

"She told me she didn't love me!" Olivia screeched out before falling to the ground with a sob. John allowed himself to be dragged down with her.

"Livvie, why? Why would she say that?"

" I asked her why I never knew my daddy, and she started yelling at me." As she said this, she sounded like she was nine all over again. Whatever this...woman, she could hardly be called a mother, had done to her, it had brought her back two years, back to the beginning all over again.

John rubbed her shoulder comfortingly, and begged, " I've never seen you so upset. Please tell me what else she said to you...what she did to you."

" She, she hit me, and then she started screaming in my face. She told me..." She wiped her eyes as they began to dampen again, " She told me the only reason I was alive was because some cruel, good for nothing man attacked her. And that every time she looked at me she wished I was gone!"

She flung herself at him and sobbed into his chest.

"Liv..." He began, close to tears himself. She interrupted him with a cry similar to that of a wounded animal.

" She doesn't love me! No one loves me! I wish I was gone too!" She sunk farther to the ground in defeat, " I wish I was dead."

"No Liv!" He said forcefully, he then calmed down and repeated, "No. Don't think like that. Don't ever think like that. You can't," He wiped his eyes, resisting the urge to break down completely. As he said his next words, his voice broke," you can't leave me like my father did. You can't."

"Johnny...I'm sorry," Said Olivia softly, sadly.

" Don't be sorry Olivia," He said as he calmed down, " you just need to know something," He looked down at her head that was currently resting on his shoulder and brushed her hair out of her red, swollen eyes, " I care about you, I love you. Remember that when your mother says your worthless, or starts hurting you, remember that I love you."

Olivia gave him a small, weak smile.

" I will Johnny, and when your mommy and brother start to yell at you, you better remember that I love you too. You're the best friend that I ever had." He pulled her into a hug and whispered, " Thanks, kid."

They stayed on the roof that night, and neither of them dwelled on the fact that their mothers either never knew or cared. All they needed was each other.

When Munch and Olivia finished telling their story, they saw that both of their companions were speechless. Neither of them expected what they had just heard. Elliot was the first to speak, sounding as sympathetic as he could while still in a slight state of shock he said,

" You guys...I- I had no idea. I shouldn't have made you relive that. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," Said Fin in agreement, " we didn't know how bad it was for you two." Olivia and Munch looked at them, grateful for there sympathy and understanding.

"Thanks Elliot, Fin." Said Munch.Nodding at each of them.

"Yeah...thanks."

All four detectives sat in silence for a moment, as if paying respects to all the tragedies of long ago. When they had finally begun to edge out of their solemn mood, Elliot took it as his chance to lighten things up a bit.

"So Liv, I remember you telling me something last year...Munch wasn't that "older man" you said you had a major crush on when you were a teenager, was he?"

Olivia blushed a deep shade of crimson as Munch turned to look at her, his eyebrows raised in amused surprise.

TBC