A/N: Hey guys! It's been a while since I've updated this story, so I'd suggest rereading up until now, just so you can remember what has happened so you can understand this chapter better. Hope you like it!
The Best Revenge Chapter 7
I heard footsteps coming down the stairs of the hallway so I ducked impulsively into the girls' bathroom next to me.
I took deep breaths, attempting to staunch a fresh impending cycle of tears. It didn't work, and as I breathed out, choked sobs escaped my mouth and I had to catch the sink for support.
I looked up at my reflection, and was immediately repelled. I had dark shadows under my eyes from lack of sleep. Raccoon-like eyeliner lay crumbled and smudged around my face. I was a zombie.
Staring at my ugliness exhausted me. I put my hands in my arms and leaned on the counter, slowly inhaling and exhaling.
I can't live my life separated from my mother. It is an unfortunate facet of human nature that one attaches to the first person that loves her. My mother loves me, I told myself. She has a crappy way of expressing it, but she only wants me to be successful.
Nobody recognizes what a powerful, unconscious bond a child has with her mother. And now that it's been removed from my life, I need it. I crave it. I'm being self-destructing, and I've never even realized that it's because I don't have an adult telling me what the next step is.
I made my decision a few seconds before the door opened and June Welch, a friend of mine living on the same floor and well aware that I was living illegally at the university, stepped in.
"Sammy!" She said urgently, rushing over and pulling my head from my hands. "What's wrong with you?"
She said this innocently and earnestly, but I took it as invasive. "Nothing," I said shiftily, ready to move another location.
"Did you and Casey have a fight?" She pressed on.
I didn't even know what it was. It wasn't like any fight I had before; we didn't scream and then brush it under the mat ten minutes later. This was quieter, but the words uttered were twice as caustic. My head throbbed trying to make sense of it all.
"I think he's looking for you," she continued, and this caught my attention. "He asked me if I had seen you like two minutes ago."
"Where was he headed?" I asked.
"He was going towards Moore Hall," she shrugged. "Why, do you want me to help you find him?"
"No," I said, a little too quickly.
June was taken aback, but she nevertheless took her sweater sleeve and wiped my face. "Hon, I'm saying this because I'm your friend. You look horrible."
"Thanks," I responded dryly.
"Let me help you get cleaned up," she offered, and reached inside her bag for her makeup kit, but I had already slid off of the sink and was heading to the door. I really wasn't in the mood for company. Or social obligations, for that matter.
I slipped back into the apartment, slowly becoming more hysterical again. Something hollow had carved its way within me ever since I had left Hollywood. Lady Lana had only accepted me after I embraced the glamorous lifestyle. For once in my life, my mother loved me, and didn't resent me. But I had disobeyed her, and ran away. I was so humiliatingly unprepared to get away from home. I'm not even out of high school yet. Lana has my birth certificate. My passport.
And worst of all, she owns those pieces of me that I can't physically stuff in a suitcase.
I gathered my things from the apartment and threw together some luggage. I didn't even think twice or speak as I raced out and hopped on a UCLA bus to the edge of campus.
My mother opened the door, and her eyes grew wide.
"Samantha." She immediately pulled me into a big hug.
The shock on my face must have been evident, because she waved me in quickly. "Darling, I must admit, I thought I'd be absolutely furious with you too. But here you are, and all I feel is love."
She put her hand to her breast.
"I'm so glad you're here, sugar. You see, I turned to blaming myself while you were gone, and how much i had failed as a parent. It was almost too hard to bear, but I knew that there was no convincing you to come back."
"Did you look for me?" I inquired, suddenly feeling the desperate need to lie down somewhere.
"Oh, I promise, I did search. I scoured everywhere for you; I was worried sick! Especially after I had done nothing wrong, it was more an internalized issue, really, on your part.
She pressed on. "There's a counseling department in the studio I work at. I'll sign you up first thing Monday. We need to sort out your problems."
My head was being crowded with emotions. I could physically feel the weight of my thoughts press against my skull, hissing for the release of the bottled-up pressure. I absentmindedly lugged my suitcase up to my room.
MY ROOM WHICH DID NOT EXIST ANYMORE. Stepping in, I looked around in bewilderment at some foreign theme that had taken over my bedroom. Lady Lana came up behind me as I absorbed the scene, and quickly stepped in front of me and shut the door before I could enter.
"Oh! Honey! I almost forgot. I converted this into a little...meditation studio for myself when you were away. Would you mind sleeping on the couch tonight?" I nodded vaguely as I realized how much my mom didn't seem to mind that I was gone.
I settled back on the couch downstairs. Funny. It's been three years, and my life has come full circle to the point where I'm on the couch because of my mother again. The last time I was sleeping in this position, Grams was always worrying about how couches ruined my posture.
It took a while, but I eventually fell into an uneasy sleep.
A/N: I suck, guys. I really do. I haven't updated in so long, so sorry about that!
This part of the story is like Act IV in a Shakespearean tragedy time. I need to play up the...desperateness of her situation just to set the stage for later plot. I really want to talk about how people in abusive households don't leave because they're conditioned to think that it's their own fault. So this chapter needed to happen. But at least this means future updates!
If you guys review to tell me what you thought about Sammy's decision, I'll finish and post a fluffy story tomorrow.
X,
DKMV
