Note: Hello lovelies! Well, as always apologies for the delayed update - unfortunately Uni's taking up a lot of my time at the minute but I got there with this one in the end. As always enjoy, and I hope that you appreciate the slight relief from darkness and depression (even if it is still rather sombre towards the end).
Love always
Shadow of a Black Rose xxx
Warning: May contain some rather explicit and mildly violent interspecies lesbian sex (and by 'may' I mean 'absolutely will'), probably not suitable for anyone underage or of a mild mannered disposition, although I highly doubt you'd be reading this fic if you fit into either of those categories (and if you are, what the hell are you doing that for?! Don't let people think I corrupt the innocent!)
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Neither of them could explain how it had happened. One minute they were stood there in silence, Vastra's hand pressed to her stinging cheek while Jenny stared up at her in complete shock, and the next thing they knew they were kissing.
Jenny had almost knocked Vastra over as she threw herself into the Silurian's arms, clinging to the other woman as though her life depended on it, and Vastra had been forced to lower the girl onto the bed beneath herself so as to avoid the two of them collapsing to the floor in an unceremonious heap. There was no build up as there normally was in their most intimate moments. Neither of them began softly or gently. There was only passion, heat, parted lips and clashing teeth. Jenny bravely slid her tongue into the other woman's mouth and within seconds it felt as though she had started a war which she knew she could never win. The strength of Vastra's tongue was overpowering. Intoxicating. Jenny wanted more. She needed more. The girl pulled the Silurian closer so that Vastra's entire body weight dropped down on top of her and she kissed her love deeper, so deep that she was sure she could have climbed right into Vastra's mouth and stayed there forever.
When she had felt Jenny's hand connecting with her cheek Vastra had been sure that she had pushed the girl too far. The force of the slap had almost been enough to hurt her and it had certainly left her mildly disorientated. Perhaps that had been why her first reaction to the maid kissing her had not been to question her sudden change of mood. As the pair's kiss grew more heated, however, Vastra couldn't help but begin to feel a little uneasy. Was she taking advantage of Jenny by allowing this to continue? Clearly the girl was still very fragile and vulnerable, her dramatic mood swings throughout the course of that morning were enough to make that fact clear; but surely an expression of love between the two of them couldn't be a bad thing, could it?
"Jenny..." The Silurian had to force herself to pull away from the soft, warm lips of the human girl who was so eagerly trying to hold her in their passionate embrace. Vastra's attempts were futile, however, and only a moment long enough for her to utter the girl's name had passed before Jenny had pulled Vastra's face to her once more and was biting at her scaled lips roughly, determined not to allow the Silurian to break away from her. "Jenny... darling, please..."
"Later" Jenny murmured and she kissed Vastra again, ceasing the Silurian's protestations for a short while longer.
Vastra didn't know what she was supposed to do. Should she trust that Jenny knew what she was doing and, more importantly, what she needed to get through the emotional turmoil that was going on within her? Or should she stop her? Should she pull herself away from her poor, sweet girl in the hope that she would prevent Jenny from causing herself any further confusion and pain? While the Silurian's head told her that Jenny's sudden affection towards her would most likely be detrimental to the girl she still wanted, deep down, to believe that Jenny had enough sense to know what was best for her.
"Jenny please... stop."
"Why?" Big, dark eyes peered up out of the maid's pale face and for a moment Vastra found herself lost for words. She hadn't noticed until that moment what it was that had been missing from Jenny over the past few days. When she had tasted how bland the girl's scent had become she simply hadn't understood what was wrong. But in that moment, looking down into Jenny's beautiful eyes, Vastra could finally see for herself what had been causing her darling girl so much frustration. All of a sudden the emotions that had been trapped somewhere deep inside of Jenny had broken free from her being and had begun to swirl around her eyes like the thick fog that often hung in the air on cold winter mornings in London.
"You are certain about this...?" It was only half formed as a question and for a moment Jenny wasn't sure if she was supposed to provide an answer or not. She could see the uncertainty on Vastra's face and as she spoke the soft tones of the Silurian's voice were laced with concern.
"I need this," Jenny said calmly, her arms still wrapped tightly around the other woman's neck and their faces mere inches apart, "I need you Vastra. Please..." The Silurian didn't need any further encouragement, the calm certainty in Jenny's voice was enough to make her decision for her. If the girl said that this was what she needed then Vastra would do everything in her power to give it to her.
Leaning down to recapture Jenny's lips Vastra gently wrapped her hand around the back of the girl's neck, softly toying with the loose strands of hair that had sprung free from the tight bun that still held the thick, dark curls in place. As a force of habit the Silurian had reverted to the delicate approach that she had always taken towards her sweet little human girl but as the two women kissed Vastra could feel that that was not what Jenny wanted. The maid's arms around her neck were shifting restlessly and with every second that their lips touched Jenny was desperately attempting to make her partner free herself from the self imposed restraint that she always adopted during their more intimate moments.
"Vastra please," the girl groaned in frustration, barely parting her lips from the other woman's, "please, I need more! I don't want you to be gentle with me. I don't want you to 'old back like you always do! I want you. No restraint, no caution, just you."
"What if I hurt you?" Vastra's eyes had widened slightly at the mere suggestion that she allow her guard to drop when there was so great a risk of her harming Jenny. She pursed her lips as she regarded the girl beneath her apprehensively but Jenny simply shook her head.
"You can't 'urt me any more than I'm already 'urtin'" Vastra was sure that she felt her heart shatter in her chest at the girl's utterance. She closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to compose herself, feeling tears beginning to well up, but she quickly forced herself back into a state of calm. Internally the Silurian was battling with herself. She didn't want to hurt Jenny, just the thought of the girl in any sort of pain was enough to tear her apart, but she also wanted nothing more than to help Jenny through the emotional pain that she knew she was experiencing.
Before Jenny knew what was happening Vastra had lifted herself from the bed and had rolled the maid onto her stomach to give herself better access to the back of Jenny's dress. The Silurian made short work of the garment with one swift motion of a claw and with another the corset beneath Jenny's dress had had its fastening ties sliced apart. The pale expanse of skin that was revealed seemed so delicate and flawless in the cold winter sunlight that shone in from the expanse of windows to the left of the bed but Vastra knew that she couldn't let that deter her. She would do anything she had to do to give her sweet girl what she needed in the hope that one day Jenny would smile that beautiful smile of hers again.
Apprehensively Vastra began to trail her fingers down the length of the girl's spine, allowing her claws to dig into the pale skin beneath them ever so slightly. Even with the soft pressure that she applied it was enough to break the skin and as the Silurian's finger's continued their journey down the length of Jenny's back she watched as thin crimson trails were left in their wake. A soft gasp broke free from Jenny's throat as she felt the sharp tips of the Silurian's claws tearing through her flesh and she buried her face in the bed sheets to prevent Vastra from hearing her. She knew that the Silurian would be uncomfortable with the situation, that she would be apprehensive and worried to begin with, but just to feel anything at all was exquisite for Jenny in that moment and the sharp pain that was being carved into her back by her lovely lizard was the most astounding relief after the numbness that she had been experiencing over the past few days. Incidentally, as she felt Vastra retract her claws on reaching the dip in her lower back Jenny couldn't help but groan in protest. The maid leant up on her elbows, turning her head slightly to regard Vastra, but the eyes that stared back at her were not as she had expected them to be.
"Vastra...?" Jenny's heart was racing in her chest as she studied the Silurian leaning over her. Vastra's pupils were dilated so that there was only the tiniest sliver of crystal blue tinting their edges and as she gazed down at the human girl before her she tilted her head to the side at a jaunty angle. Her pale green lips were parted slightly as though she were lost for words and every now and then that long, snake-like tongue of hers would flick out from between the lips, tasting the air around her. It didn't take Jenny more than a matter of seconds to figure out what was going on; at the smell of her blood Vastra's primal instincts must have begun to kick in. The composed detective had taken a step back, giving way to the Silurian warrior that always remained a large part of who Vastra was. "Darlin'?"
Jenny couldn't quite decide if she should be terrified or aroused. She knew how dangerous Vastra was, how she could snap her like a twig, eat her or poison her at any moment, but somehow she just knew that it wouldn't happen. The Silurian continued to stare at her hungrily, practically devouring the maid's body with her eyes, but it wasn't like the hunger that Jenny saw in the woman's eyes when she was about to devour her victims while she worked. No, this was different. There was hunger for blood in the deep blackness of the Silurian's pupils, of course, but mixed in amongst it was lust - pure lust. Jenny could feel moisture pooling between her legs and she shivered slightly in anticipation when a soft hiss permeated the air from the back of Vastra's throat as she sensed the girl's growing arousal.
Finally, the Silurian's observations seemed to cease and she slowly leant down over Jenny's body like a predator preparing to gorge herself on her prey. Vastra pulled the girl's head back roughly by her bun and Jenny's squeal of shock was swallowed by the rough and yet passionate kiss that crashed down upon her lips. Despite being bent at an odd angle Jenny couldn't help the moans that escaped her as the other woman's lips connected with her own over and over again. The long thin tongue that slid between her lips probed around every inch of the maid's mouth and once or twice strayed a little too far towards the back of her throat until Jenny's body tensed and, thinking better of the action, Vastra withdrew the appendage, returning it to its earlier explorations.
It was impossible to tell how long the kiss lasted but as Vastra finally released Jenny from the incommodious position in which she had held her the speed of the girl's fall back to the mattress and the tightening of the skin across her back forced the partially dried cuts across her skin to open up once more and fresh blood began to seep out onto Jenny's skin. Before she could so much as think about moving however Vastra had shifted her own body weight to straddle the maid's hips and, holding each of the girl's hands firmly down on the mattress over her head, she began to kiss Jenny's neck hungrily. From the moment that those cool, scaled lips pressed to the delicate skin just below her right ear Jenny knew that she was losing herself in the delicious mixture of pleasure and pain that was being inflicted on her by the one person in the world who she would truly say she belonged to. The Silurian somehow found the perfect balancing point between the soft kisses that she would always place on Jenny's neck and the more vicious action of nipping at the girl's delicate skin until tiny droplets of blood highlighted the entire right side of Jenny's neck almost in imitation of an exceptionally starry night. The feeling drew gasps and moans from the girl one after another and Vastra found that if she sucked at Jenny's injuries in a very specific way she could even make the girl hiss in a similar way to that of her own species.
"Oh my..." Jenny squirmed slightly as Vastra clamped her jaw down over the pulse point at the base of her jaw and began to suck on the pale flesh like a newborn kitten suckling at its mother's teat. Instinctively the girl lifted her head and arched her back, attempting to push herself closer to the sensation but no sooner had she moved than Vastra roughly pressed a knee down against the girl's back to hold her still, causing a stabbing pain to run the length of each claw mark that opened further at the violence of the action. Blood seemed to rush to Jenny's head as the Silurian sucked at her pulse point more viciously and with the added pressure on her brain in conjunction with the pain in her back the girl was almost certain that she was going to pass out. She was starting to feel lightheaded and mildly dizzy. The strength of Vastra's knee pressing her down into the mattress was making it hard for her to breathe. Then, all of a sudden, Vastra was gone and everything stopped.
Jenny dared not move. Vastra was so unpredictable when her instincts took over that there was no way of guessing what she was planning on doing next. Even the twitch of a muscle would have caught the Silurian's attention and, with no way for Jenny to know whether it would be safe for her to move or not the maid thought it best that she remained where she was, splayed out across the bed with her dress and corset only covering the front half of her body. Jenny wasn't sure how but at some point during the moments that had just passed her underwear and bustle had been forcefully removed and she could just see them lying on the floor by the fire out of the corner of her eye. For the life of her she couldn't remember how Vastra had gone about separating the garments from her body but with the evidence clear in front of her a slight blush beginning to creep into the girl's cheeks at the realisation that she was practically displaying her arse for Vastra's pleasure.
The unexpected sensation of Vastra's incredibly long tongue winding itself around Jenny's throat pulled the girl back from her thoughts and, with the assistance of a cool, scaled hand wrapped around her waist, the Silurian hoisted Jenny up from the bed and onto her knees. The mattress dipped slightly just behind where Jenny knelt and she knew that Vastra was now kneeling directly behind her. She could feel heat radiating from the Silurian's body. Well that's new the girl mused to herself silently I didn't think reptiles could give off heat. She made a mental note to ask Vastra about it later but before her musings could go any further the maid couldn't help but notice that the tongue still wrapped around her throat was still gradually moving over her body. Slowly but surely that dangerous appendage that Jenny had seen used so many times to kill thieves and murderers alike was coiling further around her neck and beginning to slide gradually down the length of her back. The girl felt a sharp sting as the Silurian purposefully licked at the blood seeping from one of the claw marks on her skin and her body jolted away out of instinct. The arm around Jenny's waist tightened its grip and the maid felt her lover's torso pressing tightly against her back, wedging Vastra's tongue between them. Still the movements of the tongue never ceased and, undeterred, it continued to slide further and further down Jenny's back. As it reached the dip at the bottom of the maid's back where her spine ended Jenny expected the Silurian's exploration of her body to stop but as Vastra's tongue slipped between her arse cheeks and then between her legs Jenny's eyes bulged in their sockets and she groaned loudly.
"Bloody 'ell!" As soon as Vastra encountered the girl's entrance all chances of keeping up that torturously slow pace were lost and immediately she thrust her tongue deep within Jenny causing the girl to cry out, her back arching and her head dropping back slightly onto the Silurian's shoulder. Vastra's hands seemed to be everywhere. While one tore the remains of the maids dress from her body the other slid up over her stomach until it encountered a breast. The first hand delved deeper, fingers trailing through neat dark curls until they found what they were searching for and quickly, mercilessly began to trace circles over the sensitive bundle of nerves that the Silurian had claimed as her own so many times before. Jenny felt dizzy from the sudden onslaught and she gasped and moaned helplessly, her hips rolling back against Vastra's pelvis of their own accord and her hands reaching behind her, clinging to Vastra's thighs in an attempt to ground herself. It was no good. The movements of that tongue inside of her were driving the girl mad. It was as though Vastra was attempting to taste all of her at once, not an inch of her insides was being left untouched. Vastra's scales were hot. Really hot. Jenny was sure that the woman would burn her skin as she clung to her, but still the girl pressed herself further back into the Silurian's body. Skin on scales - the contact was agony, pure, sweet agony and Jenny's moans were growing louder with every second that the blistering sensation coursed through her. Vastra's hand that had sought out the girl's breasts was toying with her right nipple while the other continued its vicious onslaught of Jenny's clit. The tongue that was exploring the maid's insides was growing more and more adventurous with every second. Jenny wasn't sure how much more she could take. Her breathing had grown so shallow that she was panting as she leaned back into Vastra's body. Every sensation caused by the Silurian's ministrations was pure bliss and there were so many feelings consuming the girl that she thought her brain would explode. Jenny hadn't felt a single thing for days and now, all of a sudden, it was as though her body was trying to make up for lost time.
Over everything else, the pain and the love and the sheer desperation for the moment that the two women were sharing to never end, Jenny could feel her orgasm building. Heat was rising in her body and that funny tingling feeling in her stomach had just begun to make itself known. Her grip tightened on Vastra's thighs and all of a sudden the part of the Silurian's tongue that was still coiled loosely around the maid's throat tightened so much that Jenny's airway was crushed and her ability to breathe was cut off. Still Vastra's ministrations continued and as Jenny gasped for air her orgasm flooded over her and her body trembled in its release. Black spots danced before the maid's eyes and for the longest time she seemed to lose all sense of where she was and what had happened. Her mind was a scrambled mess of emotions, her heart was hammering in her chest, then all at once a sense of calm washed over her and she allowed herself to fall back into the Silurian's lap.
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As Jenny finally came back to herself and her eyes fluttered open there was a moment that passed in which the girl had almost forgotten about the circumstances which had lead up to the events that had just occurred. For a split second everything felt exactly the same as it always had when she awoke after she and Vastra had made love and instinctively the corners of the girl's mouth quirked up slightly in an absentminded smile. Jenny's head was resting on the cool, smooth surface of the Silurian's shoulder and from the direction she was facing she found herself watching as Vastra's chest rose and fell with every breath she took. One of the other woman's hands was toying with the long strands of hair that had been released from the confines of the girl's bun while the fingers of the other hand had carefully interwoven themselves with Jenny's own. Everything was peaceful. Everything was quiet. It was only the dull pains in the girl's back and neck and the slight headache that was beginning to form just behind her eyes that reminded Jenny that things could not stay that calm forever.
"Jenny?" Vastra's voice was no louder than a murmur as she spoke but just the sound of it was enough to make the maid's heart stop for a second. The Silurian must have sensed her waking up but Jenny wished that she wouldn't speak. Couldn't they just lay as they were for a little while longer? Couldn't they pretend that there had been no heartache or loss in their lives, and that they were still as happy as they had been as they woke up together on that first morning after the first time they had ever shared a bed? Of course, Jenny knew the answer without even having to ask the question. She knew that she and Vastra had been through too much to pretend that everything was alright, she just wasn't sure that she was ready to face reality just yet. Unfortunately for Jenny, Vastra didn't seem willing to let the girl avoid speaking with her any longer. On finding that her utterance of the maid's name was not rousing the girl from her own thoughts Vastra carefully hooked one of her fingers under Jenny's chin and gently guided her face up until they were once more looking into one another's eyes. Again Jenny's heart seemed to stop in her chest momentarily and her lips slackened as she gazed up into the once more sparkling crystal pools that only a short while ago had been dominated by the dilated pupils of an animal.
"'Ello." It was pathetic, Jenny knew that, but she honestly didn't know what else she could say. Vastra appeared to be just as lost for words. For the longest time the Silurian gazed down at the human girl in her arms, her eyes wondering over every inch of the girl that they could lay themselves on as though searching for signs of serious injury. Somehow it didn't surprise Jenny. She was sure that the other woman must have already carried out this process at least once while she had been dozing in fear that she may have harmed the girl's weak human form. However, no matter how hard Jenny tried, she couldn't shake the feeling that the conversation that Vastra really wanted them to have would be far more concerned with her emotional wellbeing than the after effects of what had just passed between them.
"Are you alright my love?" Jenny hesitated.
"Physically, yes I'm fine. Aside from that..."
"Darling, I..." Jenny pressed a finger to Vastra's lips and immediately the Silurian's words died out. The girl knew that she had to explain herself. She knew that the worry filling Vastra's eyes as she looked into them was almost certainly the product of the girl's mood swings throughout the day. Jenny needed to make the Silurian understand what she was feeling but she couldn't do that if Vastra was going to talk over her.
"Vastra please. You 'ave to let me say this. Because if I don't say it now I'm scared I'll lose my nerve..." The girl's lips trembled as she spoke and she was forced to stop for a minute to compose herself. Her eyes wondered away from Vastra's for a second and as the action broke the contact between them the Silurian instinctively gathered the girl up in her arms, pulling Jenny closer in an attempt to help the girl find the strength that she needed to speak. It calmed Jenny slightly to feel the woman she loved holding her so close and, gathering her thoughts she began to speak once more. "You were right before... what you said about me not really bein' 'ere. Darlin', I know that I've been distant the past few days. I know that I've been goin' about my days as though nothin's 'appened... as though we 'aven't lost..." Jenny's voice broke and she bit her bottom lip hard as she tried to pull herself together. She had to do this. If she was ever going to find a way to get past this rough patch that she seemed to have fallen into then she had to tell Vastra what had really been going on with her. Tears began to well up in the girl's eyes and she tentatively allowed her gaze to wonder back up to meet the Silurian's. "I don't know what's wrong with me Vastra. Ever since I read in that note what that man did to our baby... Ever since I 'eld 'er in my arms an' realised that she really was gone it's been as though I couldn't feel anythin' at all."
"I know my love, I know. This whole ordeal has been devastating for us both."
"But darlin', it's different." Jenny sighed slightly and shook her head. She knew that Vastra was hurting too, even when she seemed as collected and calm as she did in that moment Jenny knew that the Silurian was feeling the loss of their daughter just as she now was. But still, deep down, the girl knew that her beautiful lizard couldn't ever know exactly how much pain she was in. Lifting a hand to caress Vastra's cheek gently Jenny looked into the other woman's eyes and a few small tears began to seep from the corners of her own. "I know that loosin' Aria 'as 'urt you too Vastra, really I do; an' I'm not tryin' to say that you 'ave it easier than me, but not much more than a month ago that little girl was still a part o' me. Only a month. I let 'er tiny little body grow inside o' me for over 'alf a year an' in only a month she's been taken away from me... forever." The tears were flowing continuously down Jenny's cheeks as she continued to speak and her voice seemed to grow a little weaker with every word that passed her lips. Absentmindedly the girl's hand dropped to her stomach and as she spoke she allowed her fingers to run along the marks that her pregnancy had left on her. "I feel as though a part o' me did die with 'er. I feel like that little part of my 'eart that Aria 'ad claimed as 'er own in all the time she was growin' in me 'as crumbled away with 'er, an' I don't think it'll ever be fixed again."
The girl's voice broke as the last word passed her lips and before Vastra even thought to respond she had pulled Jenny's fragile body tightly into her arms and she held her sweet girl close. The Silurian knew that the girl was right. She could never imagine the torment that the Jenny must have been going through over the past few days. Having never brought a child into the world herself, not to mention losing that child such a short time later, there was no way for Vastra to understand the pain that Jenny was feeling. There was, however, something that she could do to assist in healing the girl's broken heart. Or at least, she hoped that there was.
"Jenny, my love, I want you to listen to me carefully." The Silurian's voice was soft and smooth as she whispered and the tone of her voice was almost like a lullaby with every syllable that passed her lips. As she held Jenny in her arms, the girl's head resting lightly on her chest, she gently ran the fingers of one hand up and down the length of the girl's spine, being careful to avoid the healing cuts that had been left behind from their earlier antics. "I do not pretend that I can feel the things that you have been feeling since we lost Aria. I know that, if my own feelings are anything to go by, you must be feeling so lost and confused alongside the pure agony of knowing that we will never get to see our angel's beautiful little face again. Darling, if I could take those feelings from you so that you did not have to suffer them you know I would do it in a heartbeat, but even though I cannot there is something that I can do." Pausing for a moment Vastra pressed a soft, loving kiss to Jenny's forehead and she bit back her own tears that were threatening to break free from the confines of her eyes. "I know it is not much," she murmured, "but I want to prove to you that we will find our way through this pain. And so, I have something for you." Attempting not to move too much so as not to disturb the restful position that the girl had taken up on her chest Vastra leaned over to her bedside table and, opening the draw, carefully plucked from it a small box. "Do you remember the night before all of this happened, when you asked me if I would marry you and you told me that you had been wanting to ask for a while? Well... you are not the only one who had contemplated a union between us. Jenny, I have known for so long that I could never imagine my life without you and perhaps this is the opportunity that I needed to make this promise seem real for us both." Jenny's weight seemed to shift slightly against the Silurian's chest and as Vastra looked down at the girl she was surprised to find her propped up on her elbows and watching her closely. Carefully Vastra opened the box that she had taken out and she showed its contents to Jenny, keeping her eyes fixed on the girl's face. Inside the box there were two gold rings, simple in design, but still beautiful none the less. "I bought these a little while ago now, and I was waiting for the right time to ask you to marry me before you asked me yourself. Jenny I want this to be my promise to you. I do not know how long it will take for the pain of our loss to heal. It could take years for all I know. But when we have both found the peace that we need to find in ourselves, and when we have properly said goodbye to our little girl, I promise you that we will be married as a sign that not even the worst experience we could ever have encountered could break us apart. It will be the proof that we can survive anything and that we will love each other and support each other through the pain, even if we do face a few rough patches along the way."
A silence fell between the two women as Vastra finally finished her proposal and for the longest time Jenny didn't say a word. The girl's eyes flicked from Vastra's face to the rings in the box and back again several times and she appeared to be contemplating something. Then, quite out of nowhere, the girl leant up and pressed her lips to the Silurian's, holding the woman she loved close as she kissed her as softly as the first time their lips had ever touched.
"Am I to take that as a yes?" Vastra asked when Jenny finally allowed herself to pull back from the kiss for long enough to breathe.
"You're to take it as the most certain yes that I've ever given to anyone in my entire life." Once more tears were brimming in the maid's eyes but for the first time in a while they weren't entirely tears of pain. Yes, it would take a while for life to lead Jenny and her lovely lizard back to a place where they could be happy again but the girl was okay with that so long as she knew that Vastra would be by her side, holding her hand all the way.
