A/N: Dedicated to my lovely cousin :)

Standard disclaimers apply.


034: Not Enough

It was turning out to be an ordinary day for Kaoru Kamiya. She had gone home for the weekend to see her dad and do some laundry for free. After all, saving a few quarters now and again was a good thing. Things were going smoothly, nothing out of the ordinary…

At least until the mail came.

It looked innocent enough, the package. It actually looked like an order from Barnes and Noble or Amazon. That was what she first thought it was when she saw it, but there wasn't any label on it. Just her name and address and a return address from somewhere in Baltimore.

But why would someone send a package to her old house? She had a new apartment and she had given all her friends the new address. So the real question was…who would send it?

And that was when she recognized the handwriting. It was precise, determined, and focused. But written in a rush, as if the ideas and words were coming faster than the speed of the writer's hand. Only one person she had ever known had that handwriting.

She tore the box apart before she pulled out its content, which turned out to be a book. Her eyes drank in the cover, which had a wooden door with a window and a yellow police tape on it, creating an "X." There was an indistinct figure on the other side of the glass. On the top it read "Undisclosed" and on the bottom it said "Kenshin Himura."

Kenshin Himura.

God. It had been years since she last saw him. They were going to graduate high school, or at least she was. He was going to drop out of high school take a year off, find himself, and take the GED exam after that, and she begged him to just repeat senior year before going away. But he didn't. He just left. No letter, no call, nothing.

She couldn't even read the synopsis on the back. It was as if she didn't know how to read anymore; the words, letters, phrases…they all didn't make sense.

With her ears ringing, she opened the book and flipped to the end to check the number of pages. One-seventy. Interesting length.

But then again, Kenshin Himura was just an interesting person.

It was legitimate. The publisher and copyright was there on the first page. This wasn't a hoax. And it was getting harder for her to breathe now that it was established that this was real.

Her lungs stopped working when she saw the dedication:

For Kaoru,

One day.

What. The. Fuck.

There wasn't any thought process that made her come to the conclusion to grab the torn package and go to her car. She didn't even consider any other option as she pulled out of her driveway and started speeding down her street.

Nothing fazed her as she continued driving hour after hour. She ignored all her calls. After all, it was illegal to talk and drive. Not that it stopped her in the past. But she didn't think she could deal with a reality check since her dad had always hated Kenshin.

The drive was about four hours. So when she arrived in Baltimore, she was feeling absolutely shitty. Not only that, she also had to go to the bathroom and she was starving. So before going to Kenshin's apartment, she refilled her car with gas, went to the bathroom (and consequently gagged), and then drove around to find a deli.

By the time she had finally got to his apartment, it was about three o'clock. She got out of her car, slamming the door shut, carrying her half-eaten sandwich in one hand, and Kenshin's book in the other. Stomping up the stoop, she looked at the two objects in her hand, groaned, and then decided to kick the door multiple times as a form of knocking.

She took a few steps back and waited. It was a relatively nice area – there were some kids outside another apartment a few doors down with some parents, so the neighborhood must've been safe. There were trees that looked healthy and it was clean. If this were where he really lived, then he must've done well for himself, a concept that many people in her hometown would find shocking.

But then she finally realized where she was, and what she was doing. She slowly took steps backward until she was off the stoop, and she was about to turn around to her car when the door opened.

He looked about the same as he did four years ago. His hair was still tousled back in a low ponytail and his clothes were still worn, both of which triggered something in her. Just the mere sight of him brought her pulse to a heightened pace.

He leaned against the doorway, painfully reminding her of his grace and nonchalance of his every move. It attracted her then and it still attracted her four years later.

And that smirk. She stopped breathing.

He nodded toward her hand with the sandwich. "Ham and cheese?" he asked.

She ran her top teeth over her bottom lip for a brief moment. "With lettuce and tomato," she added in a faint voice.

"Huh. Spicing things up, aren't you?"

She swallowed.

He pushed himself off the doorway and was about to walk down the stoop when she took another step back. "Don't come any closer!" she snapped, feeling like a total moron as she pointed her finger and sandwich at him.

He obeyed her, but he had an amused expression on his face, making her angrier. She took a heated bite of her sandwich before holding up the book. "What the hell is this?" she asked, her mouth full of food.

"I'm sorry? I couldn't understand – I was too distracted with the chewed up ham in your mouth."

She swallowed. "What. The. Hell. Is. This?"

"That, I believe, is called a book. Of course, that's the English term. In Japanese it has multiple terms such as bukku and shinki and in –"

"Stop! Just stop with the fucking around!" she shrilled, causing a couple riding bikes to stare at them as they flew past. The parents down the road glared at the two.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, yeah, it's the book that I authored. I see you got my copy. Did you like it?"

She felt really stupid. "I didn't get a chance to read it."

He quirked an eyebrow. "When did you get it?"

She flushed. "About four hours ago."

His second eyebrow flew up. "Huh." Then a slow smirk spread across his face.

She took another bite of her sandwich. And as she chewed he stuck out his tongue a little to wet his lips and looked up at the sky, leaning back on the doorway.

"What's with the dedication?" she demanded when she was finished chewing.

"What about it?" he countered with another smirk.

Why was he so flippant about all of this? It not only shocked her, it also upset her a lot more than she cared to admit.

"You know what, fuck you, forget that I even came here," she snarled before turning on her heel to get back to her car.

"Wait, don't leave," he exclaimed, closing his door and running down to come in between her and the car. "I'm sorry, I'm being a dick."

She gave him a nasty glare. "You think that's all it takes? After four years of nothing? You think that you can just send me a book with a four word dedication, and I'll suddenly just fall in your arms?"

"You did come here," he said.

"I don't even know why. I probably just lapsed into…temporary insanity."

He stared deeply into her eyes. She didn't notice from far away, but something significantly changed in him. When they were in high school, there was a raging fire in his eyes, chaotic and unable to control. But now it was more subdued, but still apparent.

"You changed."

He shrugged. "Well after four years you'd hope so."

She exhaled. This was a massive overload. She couldn't stand this, being so close to him after wondering for years whether he was in the same country or not. He used to talk about backpacking and traveling, soaking in the knowledge of the world.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment. "I guess you deserved more than my sudden sending you a package with nothing but a dedication."

"I think so."

He bit his bottom lip thoughtfully, which was so unlike him. "I was kind of hedging on your reading the book first. It's all there."

She shook her head. "It's not enough to read it. Say it to my face. I think you owe me at least that."

She was extremely stubborn, and she knew that he would remember that. He looked over her shoulder at the passing cars and people before focusing on her again.

"I didn't plan on not graduating that year," he murmured. "I didn't even know I was lacking credits until the principal ordered me to his office and told me with a big smile on his fat, arrogant face." He had a scowl on his own face, but it fell as he shook his head.

She could believe that – the principal of their high school had a hard on for Kenshin and she didn't find it surprising that he would do something like that to him.

"I had to leave…I couldn't stay there for another year. I couldn't do that."

"And why not? I begged you to stay and finish school."

"Don't you see? That wasn't enough of a reason for me to stay!" he exclaimed, his voice climbing to a higher note. "My godfather actually cried when he found out I wasn't getting a diploma that year. I already had that on my back. I didn't need those reasons from you too."

"Well I needed you to stay."

He threw his hands up. "That's all you needed to say to me."

She paused. "What?"

"You only had to say that you wanted or needed me to stay. And I would've," he said in a whisper.

"Are you serious? You would've questioned it, don't even try and put this on me. And I did say that I wanted you to stay!"

"Because you wanted me to finish school. Because you wanted me to be close to you in college. Because you wanted me to be able to get a job. Because of all these reasons that I didn't give a flying fuck about!"

"Then what did you care about?"

"I cared whether or not you wanted me to stay just because," he retorted with a pointed look.

She gave a shrilly laugh. "That's rich, coming from you Mr. I've-Never-Said-Anything-Sentimental-In-My-Life!" She wiped the bottom of her eye. "That was not going to be the time to say it."

"It was the perfect time, and you let it slip. And I didn't know what you really wanted. I was eighteen for Christ's sake! Did you just want a boyfriend that was just on the right track? The safe track? I mean…you would've lied to all your friends in college, right? You would've said that I was a year younger than you to not make it seem like you were dating a slacker. Because God forbid people are in relationships with others just because they love each other!"

It was true. It was so true. She had the lie all planned out when she found out that he was going to be held back for senior year. And having her plan thrown in her face made her realize what an awful and shallow person she was.

"Could you blame me?" she whispered. "I was a good girl. And I was dating a person that was clearly not my type at first glance."

"Since when did you care about first impressions?" he countered.

"Okay, so, we both suck."

"So it would seem."

They stood in silence for a long time until Kaoru started laughing under her breath.

"What's so funny?"

"No, it's just…you wrote a book."

He shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know why these bookstores even take a look at that," he said, gesturing to his book in her hand. "I ramble about stupid shit."

She sniffled before holding up the cover to her face. "What made you decide to write a book? I mean," she sniffled again, "I know you read…but…it's a lot different from actually writing, you know?"

"What made me start writing…well…I was walking around New York when I just started jotting down the suckage that was my life."

She shook her head. "I didn't mean how you started writing it. I mean…what drove you?"

His eyes that had drifted repositioned back to hers and he just smiled, not smirked, not grinned…just smiled.

"You. Always you."

The smile fell right off her face.

He tipped an imaginary hat to her before walking away. She watched him stride down the sidewalk, getting more out of her reach with every step. With another powerful surge of anger, she threw her sandwich and the book on the pavement and she ran after Kenshin.

She pulled the sleeve of his shirt toward her, revealing the smooth skin of his collarbone. "Hey, what the hell do you think you're do –?"

But she was cut off by Kenshin's mouth crashing onto hers. She was stunned for a second, but she came to her senses and pulled him as close as she could to her. His arms snaked around her body as she expected him to, just like when they were seventeen.

She ran her hands up his chest, savoring the feel of his muscles as they tensed, and cradled his face as she kissed him back, before finally burying her fingers in his hair.

They pulled away with ragged breaths, barely aware of the people that had stopped to stare at the sudden spectacle.

"Shit…I'm sorry…I…" he started, his voice hoarse. He cleared it before saying, "That…"

She sighed, putting her fingertips on his lips. "Okay. We should probably talk about this." Her voice sounded submissive, but not necessarily in a bad way. It was more like she realized that there was no one else after Kenshin Himura. But she was okay with that. Really okay.


A/N: I hope you enjoyed it :) It's good to be back!

Please review!

MissGoalie