ALEX'S POV

"Earth to Alex. Hello." Olivia waves her hand in my face.

I snap out of my daze and look across the table at her. I squint in the sunlight and slightly move my chair so it's not directly in my eyes.

We are having lunch at a little outdoor cafe near the DA's office and I've been distracted by thoughts of Casey. She's all I have been thinking about since I picked her up from the hospital two days ago. I can't wait to see her again.

"I'm sorry," I apologize. "I was somewhere else."

Olivia sits back and frowns at me. "Are you Okay? You've been...off lately."

"I have a lot on my mind," I answer. I pick up my club sandwich and take a bite.

Across the table Olivia smiles at me. "Lots of things, like Casey Novak?"

I nearly choke on my sandwich. How in the world does she know? Am I that obvious?

I just look at her in shock and that gives her the answer. "How did you know?"

"She told me you asked her out. She was so excited and happy. Said you made her feel beautiful and she couldn't wait to go on a date with you."

I feel my cheeks go hot with blush and I turn away from Olivia. I realize I'm embarrassed and know I shouldn't be.

I wish Casey hadn't told Olivia. I don't want to keep our dating a secret, but I don't want to spread it around either. I want to make sure it's going to work out before we start telling the people we care about.

I'm not embarrassed about Casey. I'm just a private person and don't like people knowing my business.

"Oh," I finally say, keeping my head down.

"That's all you have to say?" Olivia asks. I make myself look at her. "Casey was so happy. You have to have more to say than that."

I've known Olivia a long time. Since the start of my career at the DA's office. I consider her a friend, and I trust her. She does not know every detail of my personal life and never will, but I care about what she thinks of me and I do share things with her that I don't with others.

I finally look at her and sigh. "I'm happy too. I've liked Casey for a long time. I've never told anyone; guess I've been doing a good job hiding it. Apparently Casey felt the same way. I took her home from the hospital. We hung out and I watched a movie with her. Just the couple hours I spent with her was enough to know my feelings were real. I think she's beautiful and intelligent and I can't wait to develop something deeper with her."

That was a mouthful. I'm embarassed again but when I look back at Olivia again she's smiling.

"I think it's great, Alex. I like Casey. She's stubborn as hell sometimes and we don't always get along the best, but I like her. I think it's great you're both happy."

I nod. "It is. I want to say I'm above the opinions of others...but I'm not. And I'm worried what others may think. The squad, Liz, my father. I wish it wasn't a concern for me, but it's looming right over my head. Being bi or gay isn't excatly the norm in this job."

Olivia shrugs. "So what? You deserve to be happy, no matter who it is with. You can't hold back because you're worried about what people will say or think. Let me tell you, everyone in the squad is going to be ecstatic for you. Munch will tease you." I smile at that. "And Liz? You told me once she's like a second mother to you. She isn't going to care that you have a girlfriend. Anyone who means anything to you won't care. And those who will care aren't worth it anyway."

I know she's right. I have to get past this. If I truly want to give myself fo Casey, I need to be able to be open with the relationship and talk about her with the people I care about.

"I just haven't felt this way in a long time. And never, ever about a woman." I eat one of my fries and take a drink of my soda. "Relationships I have had in the past haven't lasted. Most were purely physical, I'm sad to say. I don't think I've ever really been in love. And while it's too early to use that word right now, I feel like I will love Casey. I never would have told her how I felt if she hadn't been attacked. It was so scary finding her. Made me realize life is short."

"We will find the guy. And I'm glad there was a silver lining to all this."

We eat in silence the next few minutes. And then I ask, "Did you know she has a pet lizard?" Olivia shakes her head. "The thing eats crickets and worms."

"Yeah, I think that's what lizards eat."

"Well she keeps them in her apartment. The first night I spend there I'm sure I'll hear crickets chirping." I can't help but smile. It's quirky and endearing.

"See? You're already planning to spend the night. Things will be fine. Just stop being uptight, Alex."

Uptight? I guess that does describe me. I frown. I have to do something about that.

"I'm going to see her again tomorrow. I want to bring her something...like flowers," I tell her.

Olivia shakes her head and after swallowing says, "I would hold off on the flowers. At least for awhile."

"Why?"

Olivia just glares at me. I'm about to ask why again when it dawns on me. Her attacker was let up to her office pretending to have flowers for her. Of course. How oblivious can I be?

"Right. That was sure stupid. I'm glad we had this conversation before I went and did it."

"Knowing Casey, she would have loved them and not said anything. It just may be in poor taste is all."

I'm really glad I had time for lunch with Olivia today. This conversation has made me feel better. She approves of me and Casey. Why do I keep thinking that no one else will?

.2

I bring Casey a box of chocolates when I see her again. My logic on that is that everyone loves chocolate.

When she opens the door I present them to her with a dopey smile like an excited kid at Christmas.

Casey smiles. Her poor face is still so bruised and swollen. The bruises are a deep purple now. She reaches out and takes the chocolates. "Didn't you know I'm lactose intolerant?"

My heart falls. Of course. "Oh...no, I didn't. I'm sorry." I actually feel really sad, like I should have known that.

Casey is grinning ear to ear. "You're so gullible." She holds the door open for me with her cane. "I'm not, and I love chocolate. Thank you."

I like her humor. I like the way she can always make a joke but appear serious. I like the way she smiles after making a joke. I just like her, period.

I go inside and she follows me. She's getting around a lot better but I can tell she's still sore. She still walks with some difficulty.

"What do you want to do?" I ask her. I'm up for anything, as long as it's with her.

"I'd like to go on that date."

I'm surprised to hear her say that. I would love nothing more than to take her out tonight; I'd love it so much. But I wasn't anticipating and didn't prepare. I would have made arrangements. I definitely would have dressed a lot better for her.

I must have a shocked look on my face because Casey's smile disappears. "Judging by that look you don't want to."

"No!" I'm quick to correct her. "Of course I do! I just wanted our first date to be special. I wanted to plan it and definitely wanted to look better than a sweater and jeans."

"You look better than me," Casey says. "And being spontaneous is great too. Haven't you ever done something just spur of the moment?"

Not something like a date with someone like Casey. I wanted to impress her. I wanted it to be so special and to buy a dress just for the occasion.

But what choice do I have? If I say no, Casey will think it's because of how she looks. And I did want to spend the evening with her. So what could it hurt? It's definitely not traditional but I'm willing to go for it.

"Okay, sure," I relent. "Where did you want to go?"

It's clear that Casey has something in mind. She won't reveal what it is but announces we are taking her car. I decide to go with it. Knowing Casey, I'm sure it will be unusual and fun.

She hands me a fleece jacket from her closet. I look at her questioningly and she shrugs. "It may get chilly. Just in case."

A few minutes later we are walking out to her car. She's given me no clues as to where we are going. We approach her cute little Saturn and I make sure she's good to drive.

She glares at me over the top of the car. "I'm capable of driving, Alex."

I quickly go around to her side and open the door for her. She smiles at me and when I get in the car I see she's still smiling.

She drives us to a park not too far from her apartment. I used to jog through this park, way back when I first started with SVU. It helped me blow of steam.

I don't get to jog much anymore.

We are the only car in the parking lot. It momentarily scares me. Manhattan is not a friendly place, especially for two women by themselves. But I shake the feeling away and decide to just enjoy myself.

This time Casey opens my door for me and offers me a hand. I take it and she pulls me up so I'm standing next to her. Our eyes meet and the urge to kiss her hits me.

Casey leaves me standing alone and goes around to her trunk. She opens it and then calls me over to help her. She pulls out a folded up blanket, a folded down brown paper bag, and a cooler. She hands me the cooler and I look at her quizzically.

Casey then leads me up a path in the park. We walk for about ten minutes before getting to a small grassy area. Without a word she spreads the blanket out.

I'm getting an idea of what she has planned now and it makes me smile. How romantic and sweet.

I sit down on the blanket and Casey gets down beside me with some difficulty. I notice her wince slightly and can only guess that a sitting position on the ground isn't the most comfortable for her broken ribs.

It is a little chilly but the sky is clear and the stars are visible. It's quiet here, the perfect place to enjoy each other's company and talk.

Casey opens the brown paper bag and pulls out a bottle of Merlot. I smile as I watch her fill two plastic cups and hand me one. "Sorry, plastic just travels better."

I have to admit I've never drank Merlot from a plastic cup. But the girl who handed me the cup is beautiful and sweet so I already love it. I smile at her. "It's perfect."

I wonder what's in the cooler and my curiosity is satisfied when Casey digs into it. She looks at me apologetically. "It's kind of lame, but I have pasta salad and BLT sandwiches. I hope you like?"

I almost start to laugh. She's acting so nervous, worried that I'm not going like what she's brought for me. I'd like anything she gave me. And if I didn't, I would sure make her think I did.

"I just wanted something easy to manage. It's so pretty here and I thought we could get to know each other. Maybe cuddle if we get cold. Not the ideal first date I know, but I thought maybe you'd enjoy it."

My smile widens. I sure like the idea of cuddling. And this so sweet and thoughtful. Casey is unique, that's for sure.

We eat the pasta salad right out of the container with plastic forks. Casey talks nervously about her lizard and her softball team, and I listen, offering her smiles. She's rambling with nervousness and I know I have to do something to calm her down and make her relax.

We eat our sandwiches and Casey does most of the talking. I'm content to listen right now. I like listening to her voice, even if she is rambling nervously.

"It is really pretty out here," I comment. I lay down on my back and look up at the sky.

Casey copies me and I hear her groan slightly. "Ugh, my ribs...I will definitely be glad when those heal up."

She has her hand resting over her sore ribs and I place my hand over top of hers. I wish I had a superpower and could heal her instantly. Neither of us speaks; the gesture is enough.

Finally, I start to talk, not moving my hand from Casey's. I look back up at the sky. "So why a lizard for a pet?"

"I've always been interested in reptiles. We had a tortoise and a gecko growing up. I've had Monty for fifteen years. He's been with me through a lot. Lizards are hardy and have a long life. I get attached easily and don't want to go through the heartbreak of losing a dog or a small animal. And I've never been a cat person." She shrugs. "They are interesting animals. Once you get to know him you will like him. He has to grow on you...like me. I take some getting used to too." She laughs.

I smile, even though I'm still looking up at the sky. I squeeze her hand under mine. "I think you're pretty great. What's your favorite snack?"

"Cookie dough."

I scrunch my face up. "Like the actual dough?" I turn my head to look at Casey and she nods. "That will make you sick. It has uncooked eggs in it."

"Hasn't hurt me yet," she says. "Haven't you ever eaten cookie dough? You haven't lived until you buy a tube and eat it raw. I'll have to train you."

I lay my head back down. "I guess so."

We talk about all kinds of things. Casey tells me about her childhood and how they moved a lot with her father being in the military. She had such a different childhood than me. I tell her things that are hard to talk about; about my time in witness protection and how hard it was to come back. I admit things to her I wouldn't to anyone else.

"I used to cry every night. Every single night. It was the worst time of my life." I'm almost crying just talking about it.

Casey slides closer to me and moves our hands so they are intertwined together. She leans up on her elbow and looks at me. "You're amazing and strong, Alex. And I'm glad you're home."

Her smile is so warm and genuine. It literally makes my heart flutter.

"I'm glad to be here with you," I tell her.

She smiles. "Me too. And no one else had to see my face."

My heart drops. I wish she would stop saying that. She can't help what happened to her, and she's beautiful regardless. I'm going to make her see that.

I reach up and touch her bruised cheek. "You are absolutely beautiful. There's not a thing I would change about you. Not a thing. I don't see any bruises when I look at you. I just see Casey. Genuine, sweet Casey, who is beautiful inside and out."

She looks like she is going to start crying. But instead she leans in and kisses me.

I relax into her kiss and gently hold both of her cheeks. Her one hand wanders to the back of my head and she holds me too as she kisses me.

I haven't been kissed like this in a long time. Her lips are so soft, and I feel like our mouths fit together perfectly like they were made to.

Casey isn't nervous any more. This isn't a kiss of someone who has any nerves at all. This is a confident kiss, and I deepen it, exploring inside Casey's mouth with my tongue. She lets out a low moan and squeezes my hair in her hand.

When we finally break apart, we rest our foreheads together. I'm the first to break the silence. "That was...wonderful."

Casey smiles at me and leans against my chest. I wrap my arms around her, knowing she feels excatly what I feel too.