Chapter Seven

Emma pulled up to Archie's building in the sheriff's car. She had been obsessing about this day since she had received Regina's text and called Archie to make the appointment. Of all the things she could have never expected since the curse broke, going to therapy alone with Regina topped the list. Pre-curse Emma would have laughed her ass off at the thought. She did not know which was more shocking: that Regina had agreed or that Emma, herself, was in some way looking forward to it. Now that she could admit to herself that she was intrigued by Regina, she could not resist the temptation of unwrapping more of the older woman's tightly wound layers.

The other side of it still freaked her out. Regina sharing meant that she had to share too. She did not mention the little experiment to her family. Her parents would have just tried to stop her and her son… she didn't know how Henry would take it especially after his recent emotional outburst. Maybe it would put too much pressure on him which was the last thing she wanted to do. Eventually, she decided that if the session was even remotely successful she would tell him. He deserved to know that both of his mothers were trying for his sake. Because, really, that was all they could do: try.

She spotted Regina getting out of her car and strut toward the building entrance with a little less of the power which had become synonymous with the former mayor. Emma quickly scrambled out of her car and jogged up to the door with a call of, "Regina!"

Regina stopped and turned to Emma with a slightly annoyed look. Emma knew that look. When she thought about it, many of Regina's 'looks' were stored in her memory. They served as secret intelligence in their little games of war. Her 'looks' could forewarn Emma regarding which version of Regina she was about to encounter- angry, vengeful, condescending, liar… sad.

Today's look was: 'make one wrong move and I'll blow this joint sky high!'

"Thank God. I thought I was late," Emma huffed.

"You are. I just came out to get my phone from the car," Regina leaned toward Emma and looked her dead in the eye. "If you keep leaving me alone with that Cricket, I will squash him beneath my heel and then come after you."

"Three guesses which side of the bed you woke up on," Emma joked.

Regina rolled her eyes and took a step toward the car. Emma instinctively placed her hand on Regina's shoulder to stop her. Regina turned back in surprise. The sheriff removed her hand as though the brunette's shoulder was a hot plate. She had been right about today's look. Regina was looking for a reason to bail on this whole thing and Emma's dumb jokes were definitely the wrong tactic. The blonde needed to change up the game or they would never survive the next hour.

"I was thinking-" Emma began.

"This can't be good," Regina murmured.

"I was thinking that maybe we could… I don't know… try to… I mean that this doesn't have to…" Emma struggled with the right way to make her suggestion.

"Wonderful, your limited vocabulary has regressed more than usual. If my son turns into a blubbering idiot, I'll hold you personally accountable."

"Exactly! I don't want us going there and doing this- this back and forth thing. I mean, maybe we can actually do this for real. It could help," Emma rambled.

Regina crossed her arms over her chest defensively, "Why?"

"Neither one of us wants to do this but we're here… because of Henry. So maybe we can just go in there and not be so us about it?"

Regina raised an eyebrow as she considered the proposal. The woman could be a damn sphinx when she wanted to. That was Emma's least favourite of the former mayor's looks. Things could go either way with that look.

"Fine," Regina sighed making it clear that it was under duress. "As long as you agree that nothing that is said ever leaves that room."

"Totally," Emma agreed immediately. The last thing she wanted was the town knowing her business and that they were going to therapy together.

Regina nodded and opened the door to the front entrance. Emma followed closely behind.


Regina and Emma sat in the exact same spots on the couch as they had done in the previous session. Despite their temporary armistice, they both seemed determined to be as far from each other as possible. Archie sat across from them with the smile of a Cheshire cat. Regina had always despised that dubious feline and now that the smile was adopted by the Cricket she hated it even more.

She knew the meaning behind it all too well. He had single-handedly managed to get two of the most stubborn and volatile citizens of Storybrooke to sit down together for what he called 'a frank conversation'. Somehow that was supposed to remove the stigma and pressure of therapy. Regina scoffed at that. She and Emma had frank conversations all the time: heated, about-to-rip-each-other-to-pieces frank conversations.

Why had she agreed to this, again?

Archie clapped his hands once and rubbed them together. It was a little too gleeful for Regina's liking. "Right. Let's start off by sharing what our goals are for this session."

"To not zap you back into an insect halfway through it," Regina offered.

Archie visibly swallowed in response with a glint of hesitation behind his spectacles. Regina grinned. He needed to remember who really held the power in this dynamic. He looked to Emma for assistance.

"I'm kinda with her. Not the zapping part," Emma clarified as she shot Regina a chastising look. "But you told us to come back. Why do we need goals?"

"Because this isn't about me. It isn't even fully about Henry. This is about the two of you as parents and what that means," Archie elaborated.

"I cannot believe I gave him a doctorate," Regina rolled her eyes. As far as she was concerned, they were not parents. She was a parent. Emma was more like a host or a microwave oven incubating Henry until he was ready. Almost anyone could do that.

"Let's try this," Archie looked back at Regina. "What would be your ideal parenting dynamic?"

"To actually be his parent," she responded as though he were an imbecile. "I want to see him. That's all I've ever wanted- to have time with the son I raised for over a decade."

Archie turned to Emma. "What do you think is stopping that from happening?"

Emma dropped her eyes and moved uncomfortably on the couch. Archie implored her to be honest and assured her that this was a safe place for her feelings. The blonde glanced over at the older woman. She knew that the sheriff was fully aware that any room with Regina in it was not a sanctuary for her woes. Regina prepared herself for an assessment she was sure was bound to make her furious.

"You're over-emotional," Emma stated.

"Excuse me?" Regina was taken aback and even Archie was confused. The Evil Queen had been called many things but never emotional.

"Someone does something you don't like and you fly off the handle."

"I do not!" Regina's outrage was starting to sink in. The gall of this woman to make pronouncements about Regina's feelings when she knew nothing about them!

"You cursed the whole of Disneyland because you were pissed off at Snow White! I just don't want Henry getting caught in the crossfire. Physically or emotionally," Emma explained.

"I would never let that happen."

"But you did before."

Regina was ready to argue. She was prepared to defend herself with all the righteous indignation she could muster and that she had never needed to use before. They could accuse her of anything but not of hurting her son. But then… a moment. An image. Her son lying in a hospital. The taste of the bile that had risen from the most festering part of her soul as she stood at the foot of his bed with the haunting knowledge that she had done this to him.

She had unintentionally cursed her own child.

Emma was watching her. The moment their eyes connected each understood the other's pain. It was not dramatic. To an outsider, they were two people just looking at each other bound by some elusive entity. But this truth was not intangible. Something that shook two people who were as formidable as the Evil Queen and the White Knight could never be rooted in anything but real hardcore terror. It had all ended well enough, of course. But they were like shell-shocked war veterans. No one who had not experienced it could possibly comprehend it.

That was what it was. Not guilt. Regina had endured too much and had cared too little of others' opinions to be bogged down by just guilt. The recognition of the fear in Emma's eyes which reflected her own was what made her think for a moment. In all honesty, if the tables had been turned, Regina would have never let Emma anywhere near Henry. Why did she consider herself worthy of mercy?

"I don't know what to say," Regina's voice was barely above a whisper.

Emma turned in her seat so that she sat facing Regina. "Change my mind. Every day you deal with people who want you dead. And I see how hard you fight to control yourself around them. That's probably what makes me feel okay about doing this with you. I've seen you try. But sometimes it looks like you're gonna explode and I just… I don't know if you can change the way you're built. What kind of mother am I if I put my kid in harm's way? But if I'm wrong… Regina, you have to tell me if I'm wrong."

Fifteen minutes ago, Emma wouldn't have finished that sentence. Back then, it would have been obvious that Emma was wrong and the former mayor would have been happy to let her know it. Now, Regina paused for a moment of reflection. She spoke but she could not look at Emma. It was as if the words were as much for herself as they were for her son's biological mother.

Her voice was low as she confessed to Emma that her choices had unfortunate consequences for son and that she could never regret anything more than that. But she had meant was she had said in their last session. She did not care about this town. She did not care about the people. And she most certainly would never let her issues with them harm her child. It took its toll on her. Every day that she had to face alone was a struggle. But she was determined. That was what Emma could count on- her love and her determination.

And then Regina turned to Emma. She let the Saviour see her- no defence, no games, no mask. She peeled away years of lies and deceit and exposed herself in a way that she had sworn she would never do. A way that a part of her thought she was incapable of.

And Emma knew it.

They had forgotten about Archie until he started with, "Emma how do you feel about-"

"I believe you," Emma concluded before Archie could finish.

And Regina knew it.

There was something else Regina saw in the younger woman's eyes. A flicker of doubt. It was not directed at Regina. There was a feeling that the Saviour doubted herself. This would not be as easy as Regina pledging to be a model citizen. There was something bigger than that. Regina could sense what it was. It was the thing that destroyed her happiness every time.

"Your family," Regina simply stated.

Emma nodded. Regina could feel the anger creeping into her veins again. It always came back to Snow White. No matter what she did or how hard she tried, she would always be sacrificed because that damn girl. It was too much. Regina stood prompting Emma to jump to her feet.

"Don't go," Emma pleaded.

"What was the point? Why make me go through this when you knew that nothing would come of it?" Regina asked as she tried to build up her walls again. But it wasn't happening quickly enough. It was obvious how much Emma's truth hurt Regina.

"Perhaps we should sit down and discuss…" Archie started.

"Shut up!" Regina boomed. "I only want to hear from her."

Regina stared at Emma who was clearly at a loss for words. How could she be so stupid as to allow herself to believe in Emma? Because that's what had happened. She had believed in Emma. She had been so clouded by her desperation for Henry and Emma's apparent willingness to work on this co-parenting nonsense that she believed enough to open herself up like a fool. She headed for the door frantic for an escape.

"It's not easy," Emma yelled after her. "…to go from practically being alone your whole life to having all these new people in it!"

Regina stopped. She did not know why but she stopped. She was stuck. She could not turn back and she could not leave. Why was it that she could never just shake off Emma Swan? There was a power the younger woman held over her that forced her to engage even as she knew better.

"I'm almost thirty and all of a sudden I have… parents." Emma continued. "I have parents who are good people, who love me and who are protective of me. But Henry's right. Sometimes I act like I don't want them even though I do. I can't just be their daughter and a lot of that is your fault."

Regina remained still. She had accepted the blame for too much already today. She could not take any more of it. Yet, she still could not leave.

"If I do this, if I let you back into Henry's life, I'm scared they'll think I don't care about what you did. I'm scared that they'll think that I really don't want them. But if I don't do it, if I let Henry grow up without his mother, how will I be any different from the Evil Queen?" Emma's voice was shaking.

Whatever stone anchored Regina to her position shifted slightly allowing her to move just enough to see Emma looking back at her. That was the face- free from years of trained restraint and disguise. In Emma's open features, Regina saw herself. Saw what she must have looked like to Emma a few minutes ago. Now they had both seen the versions of each other that were off limits to the rest of the world. They had seen each other.

"There's an emptiness inside me, too. A kind of darkness from the past. I don't want them to know it exists. I can't be who they need me to be if it exists. I want to be that person for them and I hope that's enough. I pray someday they'll understand why I'm doing this. But, in the meantime, I'll make this work. For Henry," Emma was persuading herself. She was willing to sacrifice one side of her family for the other and, yet, still hold on to fleeting faith that it would somehow be alright in the end. She really was Snow White's daughter.

There could be no easy answers to this. Regina and Emma were now truly travelling unchartered territory and, ironically, only had each other in their attempts to survive it. When Regina really thought about it, it was ridiculous. There was too much history between her and Snow. She had engaged in too many battles with Emma. She had lost so much favour with her son. The thought that they could all somehow make this work just because they really really wanted it to was a grander delusion than the twenty-eight years she had spent in cursed Storybrooke.

It was bound to end in disaster and Regina knew it. That was the story of her life. And for Emma to believe that the result would be any different was beyond naïve.

And, yet, all Regina could manage in response was "okay" because if anybody could make the impossible happen- it was The Saviour.