Chapter 7
Kageyama is already in the room by the time Hinata wakes up; Hinata can sense his presence even before he registers the sound of his anxious pacing. Hinata pretends to keep on sleeping, but he knows he thrashes in his sleep and isn't surprised when Kageyama doesn't seem fooled by his sudden stillness.
"Finally," Kageyama says, already sounding annoyed. Hinata scowls into his pillow, refusing to respond. "I'm sorry," Kageyama adds, but the tone is still annoyed, as though Hinata is the problem here, for not being forgiving enough. "You were going to leave again, and I knew you were lying when you said you'd be back. I really didn't have a choice."
So, you're not sorry at all, Hinata thinks, chewing hard on his bottom lip to keep himself from voicing this.
"Look," Kageyama continues, stepping toward the bed. "I get you're mad, but you shouldn't be this mad. I didn't hurt you, and you can go as soon as you talk to me!"
In response, Hinata yawns theatrically, makes a huge gesture of stretching, and then rolls over and re-tucks the blankets around himself.
"Fine," Kageyama concedes, still pissed, but he doesn't leave; Hinata can hear him sit down somewhere on the far end of the room. "If you won't tell me what I did, then you can sit there and wait until I figure it out."
Hinata has no problem napping away the entire afternoon, but Kageyama only lasts a little while before Hinata hears the shuffling of his feet as he pulls himself up off the floor. When Kageyama speaks again, his voice is different; there's still anger, but it's mixed with something else. "Forget it. Just go home."
Hinata doesn't move right away, too worried that he heard incorrectly, but then he disentangles himself from the blankets and swings his legs over the side of the bed. When he isn't stopped, Hinata stands and hurries to the door with his arm outstretched in case he misses his mark. His palm has already touched the wood before he even starts to consider this new development, but once he does, he pauses. "So," Hinata ventures, "Does this mean you figured out what you did wrong?"
"No," Kageyama admits, sounding impossibly bitter.
"So... then why are you letting me go?" Hinata asks, turning, his hand still on the door.
"Because you hate me now, and there are already enough people in this castle like that."
"You don't mean that," Hinata insists, a little too quickly and a bit too loud, because that can't be true. Kageyama doesn't respond, and when Hinata considers what that means, it feels like taking a knife to the gut. "And anyway," Hinata continues, trying to not to sound too distressed, "I don't hate you."
Kageyama's silence continues, and Hinata deflates further. "You really don't know why I was angry?" he presses. Silence. "Do you want me to tell you?"
"Yes," Kageyama admits, very quietly, and only after a very long pause.
"Because you locked me in a tower," Hinata explains.
"But it's a nice tower," Kageyama immediately says, defensive, but then seems to catch himself. He sighs loudly and Hinata can hear his head knocking into the wall.
"No!" Hinata corrects sharply. "You don't lock people in towers! I'm your friend, not your possession! And, also, you were very mean to me!" Hinata is re-inflating, puffing up with righteous anger. He turns around, finally dropping his hand from the door, but only to make it into a fist. "After I came to see you! And I really missed you, you know, and I was really excited to see you again! But then you got super scary and I didn't do anything to deserve it! I don't hate you, honest, but if you're gonna be scary like that then I can't be your friend!"
"Sorry," Kageyama says, mumbling so quietly Hinata can barely hear it.
"Why did you get so mad, anyway?" Hinata continues, unable to stop his momentum. "I told you, I was just looking after my sick friend!" He has to focus hard on controlling his breathing and keeping his mouth shut, because really, he could go on for hours.
"I didn't know what I'd done wrong," Kageyama explains, slowly, after waiting to see if Hinata had more to say. "They told me I must've done something to make you hate me."
"Yah! You locked me in a tower," Hinata interjects, teeth grit.
"No, before that," Kageyama continues, unfazed by Hinata's outburst. "When you stopped coming." Something about the way his voice breaks on these last words gets past Hinata's resentment. Kageyama still sounds pissed off but, Hinata realizes, it's barely concealing the truth—that he's not angry at all, just scared, and sad.
"Who told you that?" Hinata asks.
"Oikawa... and Iwaizumi. They made a bet with each other to see how long before you'd start hating me. I guess Oikawa won. He was really happy."
"That's horrible!" Hinata shouts, utterly disgusted. "Why would they be happy that you're sad? And aren't they the people who raised you? That makes it their fault you have trouble making friends! God, no wonder you're this way, if you spend all your time with guys like that!"
"I'm sorry," Kageyama mutters.
"For what?"
"For being this way," he clarifies.
"No! Nonono," Hinata says, waving his hands around like a frantic bird. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that! Look, if you just promise to try and control your temper, I'll help you with the other stuff!" Met with silence again, Hinata huffs and starts walking around the room, groping blindly for Kageyama. "I won't take no for an answer, so you might and well give up now!"
"I don't want your pity," Kageyama says, and Hinata can feel him barely evade his grasp.
"I know you're proud and stubborn, but is it really worth being so lonely?" Hinata insists, still swiping at him. "I like you, stupid, and I wanna be your friend! I don't even care that you're—uh, unique!"
"You literally just told me how terrible I am," Kageyama points out.
"I said, I didn't mean it like that!"
"Besides, you already have enough people to worry about without me," Kageyama mumbles, starting to sound angry again, but now that Hinata knows to look for it, he can spot the fear underneath—fear of being replaced, of going back to being completely alone, of Hinata only being capable of loving one person at a time.
Now that Hinata understands this, he can empathize better with Kageyama's earlier rage; he can imagine how Kageyama felt when he stopped showing up. Without Hinata, Kageyama is totally alone, left with just two mean guys who bet gleefully on him staying that way.
"I can never have too many people to care about, stupid!"
"You called that girl your most important person," Kageyama says, his voice fading with each word until Hinata can barely hear him.
"She is," Hinata says, because it's true, even if he knows this might make Kageyama feel badly. Hinata suspects that he himself is Kageyama's most important person, even after just a few months, and rather than feeling flattered, the thought makes his heart ache.
"But," Hinata adds, "I have other important people, too. Do you wanna know who one of them is?"
Kageyama is dead quiet. Hinata rarely grieves his eyesight; he's never known what it's like to be able to see, and he knows he has a very good life regardless, but now he feels cheated by his blindness. He hates that he can't see Kageyama's face, and with him quiet and acting so guarded, Hinata feels truly blind in a way he never has before. Frustrated by this, he stomps forward until he's knocking directly into Kageyama.
"You, dummy," Hinata says, jabbing him with a finger.
"I locked you in a tower," Kageyama reminds him.
"You sure did," Hinata agrees, pulling him into a hug. "But then I forgave you, and now you're gonna forgive yourself, and can we go get breakfast? I'm really hungry."
"Fine," Kageyama says, and Hinata can tell Kageyama won't forgive himself easily. He realizes he shouldn't have even said he was hungry; as innocuously as he meant it, Kageyama happens to be the reason Hinata never got any dinner last night and is starving now. Still, Hinata vows to undo as much of Kageyama's damage as he can, in any way he can, because there's obviously a good person buried under all that stubbornness, pride, and defensive anger.
Hinata pushes Kageyama out the door with as much positive energy as he can exhibit—which is a lot—and after a few steps, Kageyama grabs hold of Hinata's hand. Hinata can't stop smiling, completely charmed by the gesture, and so when Kageyama suddenly lets go and knocks Hinata's hand away, he stops in his tracks and pouts. They were doing just fine, so what the hell?
"Oh, you're back?" Iwaizumi says, interrupting Hinata's thoughts and answering his question. Iwaizumi sounds bored and slightly disappointed by the sight of Hinata.
"Tobio will have to work harder if he wants to get rid of me," Hinata replies, trying not to scowl too hard.
"His sister was sick," Kageyama adds, sounding just as displeased to be having this conversation as Iwaizumi and Hinata. "But she's better now, so he'll be visiting more often."
"Wonderful," Iwaizumi says, but his tone implies anything but, and then he walks away.
"I really don't like that guy," Hinata mutters as soon as they are out of earshot.
"And he's the nice one," Kageyama says, and Hinata swears can almost see him smiling.
They're halfway through breakfast when Kenma reappears. They'd been in the middle of such honest, unguarded conversation that Hinata is suddenly overcome with the urge to tell Kageyama about his and Kenma's secret communications. He stops himself mid-sentence only because he feels Kenma's claws digging into his shoulder.
Not yet.
Hinata sighs, feeling newly guilty about keeping secrets, but he drops it.
Kageyama is helping Hinata aim his bow when he asks, completely out of the blue, and directly into Hinata's ear, startling him enough that he nearly sends an arrow flying into his own eye, "Why isn't it okay to lock up someone you love? What if you do it to keep them safe?"
Hinata doesn't dare ask if that was some kind of freakish love confession; instead, he takes a breath, knowing the question is sincere and coming from a poor fool who really doesn't know any better. "If you love someone, you should want them to be happy, and most people wouldn't be happy to be locked up," Hinata explains, pretty sure the only 'people' in question is himself. "Usually people lock up other people because they're selfish and just want to control the other person. That isn't love at all."
After Kageyama realizes he can ask anything he wants, without judgement, the floodgates open, and Hinata spends the rest of the day explaining things that, somewhat worryingly, all amount to understanding basic human decency. What, exactly, did this Oikawa guy teach Kageyama, if not the importance of being a kind and empathetic person?
Hinata is just beginning to detail the issues with stalking when Kenma interrupts his thoughts, noting that it's getting late.
You never came home last night. Daichi and Suga will want to know you're alright.
Before Hinata leaves, he makes sure to give Kageyama a strong, lingering hug and several assurances that he'll be back tomorrow. He doesn't want Kageyama tormented by the thought of having to go back to being completely alone.
"If something happens, you know, you can always just come to my house," Hinata says. "You don't have all those horses and guards for nothing! And my parents are super nice and will definitely like you a lot!"
There's something uncomfortable about the silence that follows, but Hinata can't begin to guess what it might be. Kageyama gives a grunt that might as well be an okay so Hinata dashes out the front gate with a wave and a smile and doesn't worry about it further.
When Hinata gets home, his dreams of Daichi, Suga and Kageyama getting chummy over tea and cakes pretty much keels over dead at the doorstop. The ominous whisperings of his siblings barely prepare him for the sound of Daichi calling his name from inside the house. He freezes like prey; Daichi doesn't sound happy. Suga's hands come to rest on his shoulders and gently pull him into the house, but Hinata's forgotten how to use his legs and he topples forward. Suga sighs, lifts and carries Hinata into his and Daichi's bedroom, and then drops him onto the edge of the bed. The door closes behind them and Hinata gulps and awaits his execution.
"We need to talk to you," Suga says, his hands again going to rest on Hinata's shoulders. Suga's touch is gentle, but it also feels eerily like Hinata is being held down.
"Shoyo, we don't want you going back there again," Daichi says. He's not yelling or even angry, but the strength of this command sends a chill down Hinata's spine that leaves him feeling mildly nauseas.
"But—" Hinata starts to say.
"Is it true he took you prisoner?" Suga asks, interrupting.
"Well yah," Hinata says, trying to keep his voice steady, "But only for one night, and—"
"The Grand King himself believes your safety is at risk if you continue visiting," Daichi says, again cutting Hinata off.
"That's stupid!" Hinata shouts, already starting to hyperventilate. He starts to rise from the bed but Suga gently presses him back down. "What does that guy know about me and Tobio? I've never even met him!"
"Shoyo," Daichi says, and he's still not yelling, but his voice is even louder, stronger, and Hinata feels his pulse racing. "We spoke personally after I came to retrieve you yesterday. The Grand King knows what goes on in his castle, and I trust his judgement. That's why I'm forbidding you from going back there."
"You don't understand!" Hinata cries, pleading. "Tobio will freak out I don't go back tomorrow!"
"That temper is exactly what concerns us," Suga says, his voice soothing. Despite that they're ganging up on him, Hinata appreciates Suga's presence. Somehow, Hinata always feels like he's less likely to piss himself in front of Daichi when Suga is nearby.
"No, but—"
"—Shoyo, I forbid it."
There's a lot of pleading and a few tears, but Daichi's word is final. Hinata knows he won't disobey, even as he sulks off to bed long before sunset with a plan to refuse dinner. He'll make his displeasure known with a hunger strike and sleep-in, he decides, and eventually Daichi will change his mind.
You should really eat.
"No," Hinata huffs, petulant. "They're being stupid. You know they're wrong!"
Tobio does have a temper. I can see why they're worried... but yes, I do think they're wrong.
"Where did you go anyway? You were gone all last night!"
I... got lost, and couldn't find where they'd taken you. Sorry. That castle is enormous.
Hinata gets the feeling, for the very first time in the ten years that they've known each other, that Kenma isn't being honest, but he's too hungry and frustrated to pick another fight.
Two guards arrive the following evening, but Daichi sends them away with assurances that Shoyo is fine, just grounded. Having never gone a full day without food in his life, Hinata stays in bed and pretends to be asleep when Daichi comes to tell him about their visit.
When the guards arrive the following day, they bring a message.
"The Young King requests that Hinata keep his promise," the guard says, reciting this monotonously.
"A promise he probably made under duress!" Daichi barks back, already shutting the door in their faces.
Hinata, who hears this from under his blankets in the next room, shouts, "I wasn't under duress!" They're the first words he's spoken to Daichi since their fight, but Daichi ignores him.
The third day, Hinata intercepts the guards before Daichi can, but only to beg them to tell Kageyama to visit himself. "Why doesn't he just come? Then my stupid parents will see he's not just some maniac!"
The fourth day, no guards come, and Hinata's bed starts smelling ripe enough that even his nicer brothers are complaining to Suga. Hinata gave up his hunger strike the morning of the second day, technically, but only eats what Yachi brings him in secret. He's also refused to leave his bed except for visits to the latrine, and as a result, the combination of sweat, body odor, and crumbs are amassing quite the pungent aroma as well as a growing family of insects. Daichi remains unmoved, but not Suga. He comes to Hinata shortly after Daichi leaves for work and offers a deal: take a shower and eat a real breakfast, and you can go. Hinata agrees.
Corner up ahead; turn right in five steps... and slow down, Shoyo!
Hinata doesn't listen; he's too eager to see Kageyama, his stomach knotted up by a combination of excitement and dread. He isn't entirely convinced Kageyama can keep his promise not to go psycho again, but Hinata does have enough faith to be excited at the prospect of seeing Kageyama prove himself once and for all.
Kenma's warning turns out to have been appropriate; as soon as Hinata turns the corner, he smashes right into someone—and it hurts. Hinata is no stranger to running into things, but this person must be a knight of some kind, because they're wearing heavy armor that sends Hinata slamming into the ground and leaves his head spinning. Kenma is beside him, his feline reflexes having saved him from the impact.
"Sorry," Hinata manages to say, meaning it to both to Kenma and this stranger.
"Oh, it's you," the person says—a man, Hinata thinks, but he has a very effeminate voice, and it's sing-songy, almost taunting. "Aren't you sick of my little Tobio yet?"
"Huh?" Hinata asks, hurting and confused.
"Don't let Iwa see you," the man says. "I still want my reward for winning the bet." The man then walks away without another word and without offering Hinata a hand.
"Huh?" Hinata repeats, long after the man has walked away.
Shoyo...
"Huh?"
You just head-butted the king. The real one, that is. The Grand King.
( A/N: Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please consider leaving a comment or looking me up on Tumblr (dayoldcupcake)! )
