Hello dear readers, as few as there may be...

Indeed it has been many years since the last time I published something. I have just re-read all the chapters, and have decided to attempt to write something again. It's been several years since I've read GA, let alone think about this story... However, the fact that it remains unfinished continues to fester in my mind.

Don't worry as I will no longer use as many cringe-worthy emoticons and such. I will attempt to write the new chapters in a continuous flow that connects to the previous one, but it has been about 5 years..

Here is my attempt, and

Cheers to strange, new beginnings...

Recap: Mikan discovers that Natsume will be staying over at her place from now on

* will be switching to first person POV...


Isn't it strange how the world seems to be flashing by as you zoom along in your car? The world is still, and yet, you perceive it to be the one that is moving instead.

How often do we move along in life by our own strengths, and accuse the world of being the one in motion? I ponder these thoughts as Ojiisan silently drives us back home.Yes- us, back home.
I don't have long to stay entranced by my un-astounding, philosophical thoughts when Natsume's voice cuts through the silence.

"Oi, Baka, whatchu looking at that's so interesting?"

I exhale a half-hearted grunt, feeling too exhausted to give a significant reply. Apparently Natsume notices this too, because he tries harder to grip my attention.

"I don't think that's how you're supposed to treat your guests, baka. Try again, and let's see if you can give me a real reply"

This time, I look at him.

Natsume POV

This completely idiotic, stupid, agitating, and confusing girl looks at me. I don't know why but my breath hitches a little. Annoyed by glimpsing the sudden moment of vulnerability within me, I scowl and turn away. Immediately, I regret this act when I feel Mikan sigh and turn around again.

For someone so air-headed, her thoughts seemed to weigh her down into the ground. Sometimes I wonder how deep she's fallen into her own darkness, and then I wonder why I care.

Really, ever since the moment I met her, I've felt things that could not be explained. Subtle changes...
My thoughts seem much more organized. Everything within me feels as though it has been organized into a chaotic ball of disorganization. I feel coherent thoughts springing up into action, but a wallowing, lost emptiness anchors me down. My actions are uncoordinated with my thoughts. I feel as though I am dissociated from my body.

Now that I think about it, I can't remember much before the time I met this baka. Clouded shapes here and there - some voices, some music, some...some pain...

It all feels like some other-worldly experience that I can't define. I wonder if she feels it too. I turn back to her and attempt to give Mikan some solace, but what comes out instead is:

"OI BAKA. YOU KNOW THE TREES FLASHING BY AREN'T ACTUALLY MOVING RIGHT? You can stop staring - it's only you that's going somewhere! Baka..."

Mikan's only reply is the softly hushed sound of the words "I know" escaping her lips.

I resist from touching them. Oh what she'd do if she knew...


- back at home-

Mikan's POV

After a long drive home, I feel relieved to be within the vicinity of my warm kitchen again. "ahhh" I sigh, instantly feeling a bit brighter. Ojiisan helps me with my coat, and I can't help but feel warmer from his touch.
"Looks like my Mikan finally cheered up now" Ojiisan says, beaming with his usual, bright grin. I grin back and walk to the kitchen counter.
Natsume stands at the door, and for an instant, I see him as the lost child he really is.

There are days when I forget that he is truly all alone...

He looks overwhelmed, as if wondering whether we have implanted tiny land mines all around the floor. I attempt to move towards Natsume, but his vulnerability only lasts an instant. Quickly, he shrugs off his coat and smoothly glides over to a nearby table. Ojiisan offers him a glass of orange juice and he silently accepts.

I stand at the counter, brooding, over the idea of living with this menace of a child for the next several years of my life. I love Natsume, but the idea of trying to win his heart, to heal him and to befriend him exhausts me. His walls are high, and I've climbed over enough hurdles in my life to feel hesitant about concurring yet another one. Especially this one..

"Natsume!" I say, startling myself with my own voice. I don't know what I'm doing, but my body is already moving, and so I go along with it.

"What? Come to annoy me with your stupidness again?"

I don't flinch.

"Natsume, you're so stupid."

"What?"

"I said you're stupid."

"The only one here that's stupid is you. You're the one running around talking to yourself."

"Yeah but you're the only one here pretending that you're okay"

I know I have begun to step into a dangerous territory, and Natsume knows too because his glare intensifies.

"what do you mean I'm pretending?" he says harshly

"I- I mean.." I falter.

Natsume picks up my moment of weakness and advances...
"I'm not pretending anything! What do you mean I'm not okay! I'm not a liar. Of course I'm not okay! I have to sit here and talk to this baka - that's enough to make anyone crazy!"

I sense the walls he is attempting to put up. I sense him projecting his confused emotions onto me. I wonder if I care enough at this moment to address them. To fix them.

I don't.

"Nothing. You're just stupid" I say plainly, and walk away.

I leave Natsume at the table, and close by bedroom to his ever-penetrating stare.

"baka.."


end.

a/n:

I'm sorry if this is a little different. I know it's a bit strange considering they are 5, and should not have such sophisticated thoughts, but I figured that Mikan be 16 in mind should provide some justification to that.

As I move on with this project (if I decide to continue on - and I guess I will), I will try to recreate my previous writing style. I know my current one is boring and descriptive whereas my old one had more dialogue (despite it being so childish).

In the mean time, please bear with me. I've changed a lot within the past 5 years, as I assumed you have too.

As always,

Cheers,

J.