Sticks And Stones
AUTHOR: The Humbug
DISCLAIMER: "Kim Possible" and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities. Kim Possible created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within.
SUMMARY: This is a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction, made seasonal for Halloween and mostly the killing of a plot bunny. This is set in my own personal "Who's Writing This Crap?' Kigoverse, however we all know that Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible are the sole creations of NoDrogs and I suggest you go read his story 'A Small Possibility' for their origin.
TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash
RATING: PG-13 for intimations of a physical relationship and intimate contact between consenting adult females and should also cover some occasionally harsh language. I'm not certain how it will apply to farting or yelling at authority figures. If any of this will offend you, please read something else and then seek professional help.
Sticks And Stones / Seven
"… giggle…!"
"… snicker…!"
"… te-he-he…!"
"I happen to know for a fact that there is no laughing during time out."
The magazine rustled as Shego let the corner flop down and she eyed her three girls from where she sat on the sofa. Kasy sat on a little pink stool near the potted plant while Sheki had the child sized lawn chair and was in the corner near the fireplace. Kim sat roughly between the two and, as far as Shego was concerned, was clearly the agent provocateur.
The redhead pantomimed her stern spouse as she faced the wall in a way that only the twins could see.
"… giggle…!"
"So no laughing, please and thank you."
"… he-he…!"
"Come on, time outs are serious."
"… giggle…!"
"… snerk…"
"I'm not kidding!"
Kim crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth. The twins couldn't restrain themselves any longer and turned full around to look at their Momma.
"Is time out over?"
"Can we play with Mommy yet?"
"Nuts to this." Shego dropped the magazine that she had pretended to read for the past fifteen minutes. "I'm outta here." She stalked from the room and left her mischievous charges unsupervised.
They'd come home, dissected the sitch over four 'cocoa moos', and diagramed exactly who had perpetrated what to whom. The oldest Possible carried out the traditional sentence and directed the three younger Possibles to their time out chairs. Boring though it had been, Shego was willing to oversee the punishment at first but now that discipline had collapsed entirely she saw no reason for the farce to continue.
"Baby, where are you going?" Kim felt a little guilty, but not much. "And is time out over?"
"None of your beeswax and no, it isn't." Her voice called to them from the kitchen. "At least not 'til I get back. Can you three delinquents keep still for a few more minutes?"
"ATTICA! ATTICA!"
"Kimmie, where did they learn that?"
"Uh… dunno."
"Right."
"Really!"
"Whatever. And do NOT slide your chairs together!"
The voice didn't sound convinced. Nothing more was heard and when one minute turned into five minutes without Shego returning, the three started sliding their chairs together as quietly as they could. They were reasonably silent for the last few minutes of their punishment, but only because it's difficult to talk while you're making funny faces at each other. By the time the co-matriarch strode back in, she knew that any further punitive action would be a waste of time.
"Next time I'm not putting you three reprobates together."
"Sorry, sweetheart." The sparkle in Kim's eyes raised some doubt as to her sincerity. She turned fully around in her chair and bade her daughters to do the same. "Girls, we all know that time out is a serious thing and that when we're in time out we…?"
"Be very quiet."
"No talking!"
"Shush!"
"Yeah, SHUSH!!"
Kim stifled a belly laugh and Shego rolled her eyes.
"Lawsy, lawsy. Prisoner number oh you eight one two." She pointed to Kim. "Step forward."
"Why me?"
"Because I need you to help me pardon the other prisoners… whom, by the way, can turn back around."
"Got it." Kim gently slapped her daughters on the back. "See you two on the outside." The redhead stood, her knees cracking slightly after having been tucked under the footstool for almost half an hour. She stretched and joined her wife at the sofa as their children swiveled around to watch.
Kim sat at her usual end while Shego turned to face her; the older woman spoke clearly and carefully for the benefit of the children.
"Now, tell me why you had to sit in time out."
"I said some bad words." The redhead was equally serious; she new the drill and they had worked hard to create a consistent and stable method of discipline for the girls.
"Are you sorry?"
"Yes."
"Good. Your time out is over."
"Booyah!"
"Now come here." Shego reached across the length of the sofa and, to the girls' amusement, bodily dragged Kim towards her. The petite woman didn't struggle and was soon resting against the warm body of her mate, Shego's powerful hands wrapping around slender shoulders.
"Your turn."
"Really?" Kim looked back. "You're doing great."
"I… don't like being the heavy with them." The voice was soft enough for only Kim to hear but it spoke volumes. She smiled and patted Shego's knee, sliding off the sofa and down onto the floor with a gentle squeeze on one shoulder.
"Ok! Let's see who's next." Kim extended her finger, idly twirling it around and around, not quite pointing at either child. She did this for five more seconds before spotlighting Kasy. "Baby, scooch over here."
"Kay."
"Sheki, nose."
"Sorry, Mommy." The girl lowered her finger.
"Ew, boogies!"
"Kasy Ann, please."
"Sorry, Mommy."
Neither girl was laughing now; they had been through this before, blessedly infrequent, so they also knew the drill. Kasy slid her child-sized lawn chair onto the rug and waited while her twin slowly kicked her little feet back and forth and stared at the floor. Kim found it hard to maintain a straight face with Shego's big toe tracing circles in the small of her back, but she crossed her legs and made firm eye contact with her.
"Hey."
"… hey…"
"Kasy Ann Possible, why did you have to sit in time out?"
"…"
"Sweetheart?"
"… cause I told a lie."
"About…?"
"That I hit Missy."
"Did you?"
Kasy stole a look behind her.
"Eyes front, baby. Don't look at your sister. Did you?"
"… no, ma'am…"
"Kasy, it's very important that you understand the value of truth. Truth is telling people what you really know. It's letting people know what really happened. When you tell a lie, everybody is wrong. Not just you, everybody."
Shego shifted on the sofa.
"Your Mommy's right, munchkin. We cannot lie to each other, none of us."
"But…!"
"'But', what?"
"I didn't want Sheki to get in trouble!"
"Baby… if you girls promise to always tell us the truth, your Mommy and I promise to always listen to your side of the story. That doesn't mean that you won't be punished for misbehaving, but we'll listen and it might improve your sitch. But it has to be the truth. There is nothing more important that honesty."
"Really?"
Kasy looked slightly awed and Kim turned around where she sat on the floor; she wanted to hear the answer to that question herself.
"Really. So? Promise?"
"Promise."
"And I promise, too." Kim turned back to her daughter. "Are you sorry?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Will you ever do it again?"
"No, ma'am."
"That's my girl. You're free to go… which doesn't mean sitting next to your sister."
"Kay."
Kim held out her hands and guided the six year old to her and around her and into the arms of her Momma; Kasy was held on the edge of the sofa lest she interfere with the proceedings. Shego distracted the girl by tugging on her tiny ears while Kim instructed Sheki to move closer for her own pardon.
"Ready?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good girl. Tell me, why were you… Sheki, what have we said about Pouting?" The older redhead quickly averted her eyes while her other daughter gave a look that would have reduced Josef Stalin to a quivering mound of Jello.
"That we aren't supposed to?"
"So don't, please and thank you!" Kim waited. "Shego, did she stop?"
"No way. I'm not looking."
"Coward." Kim bumped one of the legs she leaned against with her elbow and received a light kick in return. "Sheki, have you stopped?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Now," she risked a look and saw the child sitting before her with an anxious but otherwise normal look on her angel's face. "Tell me why you were in time out."
"…"
"Baby?"
"…"
"Munchkin, it's alright." Shego stroked the red hair of the child in her arms while she smiled with encouragement at the child who sat alone. "We've all had to do this before. Mommy and I need to hear this."
"Because…!"
"Because…?"
"Because Missy said something bad about you and Momma!"
"No, that's not it."
"She did!"
"Sheki, Missy will have to explain to her own parents what happened today. We want to hear you tell us what you did."
"I… pushed her."
"You might have hurt her, sweetheart."
"She was ok!"
"That's not the point." How could she get the child to understand? "You want to learn how to fight like your Momma and me someday, right?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Well, your Momma and I know a lot of things about fighting that could be very dangerous if we didn't train right. The bad people could get hurt and we don't really want to hurt them."
"Speak for yo…"
"We. Really. Don't. Want. To. Hurt. Them." Kim restrained herself from elbowing Shego in the knee again. "And we don't start fights. It's not right to lie and it's not right to start fights."
"Missy started it!"
"When she called us names?"
"Yeah!"
"Sheki, what have we always told you about name calling?"
"…"
"Come on baby. 'Sticks…'?"
The girl rolled her eyes, the hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
"'Sticks and stones can break our bones but names can never hurt us.'"
"And the crown goes wild!"
Now she did smile, as did her twin on the sofa in the loving arms of their Momma. Shego watched Kim's every action and listened to every word and wondered for the thousandth time what sort of a mother the younger woman would have been if she had not been impregnated through Drakken's devious scheme. Probably just as perfect.
"I want you to promise us, sweetheart, that you will never start a fight or bully someone. That goes for both of you, ok?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Ok, Mommy."
Kim reached forward and cupped Sheki's chin and gave it a tender shake, stroking her pale green cheek. She wondered for the thousandth time what sort of a mother she'd have been had she not been impregnated at so young an age. She knew that the question was moot, and that she would never know.
"And are you sorry?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Will you ever do it again?"
"No, ma'am."
"Good girl! You are my favorite daughter!"
"Yay!"
Kim turned to Kasy.
"As for you… you're my favorite daughter, too!"
"Yay!"
Kim glanced at her mate.
"Shego, nose."
"What?? I had an itch!"
The twins giggled.
"Ewww!"
"Boogies!"
"Itch! I swear!" Shego darkened slightly but caught herself pre-tirade when she saw Kim wink at her from behind the twins. She stuck her tongue out at them and blew a raspberry as Kim stood up.
"Mommy needs to start getting dinner ready because we're going to be eating early tonight."
The twins looked up at her as if she'd grown a second head.
"Dinner?"
"But it's still light out, Mommy!"
"We haven't been home from school long!"
"I know all that," she steeled herself for the argument to come. "But you two are going right to bed after dinner."
"Mommy! We were…"
"… gonna carve the pumpkin, and…"
"… watch the spooky movies and…"
"… wear our costumes so that we can…"
"… go trick or treating!"
"Dudes! Chill!" Kim held out her hands. "Trick or Treating is tomorrow night and we'll have all day tomorrow to watch movies and carve that pumpkin. But tonight it's early to bed."
"Nuts."
"Poopie."
"Girls, language. Now scoot upstairs and get ready for bed while Momma and I start making dinner. You can finish your homework before we eat, but then right to bed."
"Do we get a story?"
"We'll sing one song, but no story tonight."
Kim could actually see her own flesh and blood deliberating if a Pout would result in a more favorable resolution; the vote obviously came back negative and her daughters slowly moved to the stairs with just a little less enthusiasm than usual. They padded up the steps, dragging their feet only a bit before they disappeared around the top landing and around the corner of the upstairs hall.
The moment they were out of sight and earshot…
"Whew!"
… Kim collapsed back onto the sofa.
"Man, this parenting stuff is not easy!"
"Yeah. Six years and you'd think you'd would have seen it all."
"So?"
"So, what?"
"How'd I do?"
"Kimmie," Shego arched her back and stretched out her arms to flex tired muscles. "I'm not even going to dignify that lame ass question with an answer."
"That bad?"
"Forget it. I'm not feeding your ego." This was punctuated with a kiss once Shego was able to lean down and initiate it. Kim welcomed the snide show of support and pulled herself upright when they broke for air.
"Thanks."
"Go make dinner. I'm starving."
"You want food, you lug that big fat…"
"Hey!"
"… supple, pert, voluptuous…"
"That's better."
"… ass off the couch and help me." Kim rolled her eyes and walked towards the kitchen. Shego grinned as she watched her wife's own shapely backside move farther away.
"We got any tea in this dump?"
"Tea? Yeah, but anything this late in the afternoon had better be decaf or you'll never sleep."
"Blech." Shego swung her long legs off the sofa and stood. "Waste of an otherwise good mug."
88888888
"Where did you go earlier?"
"When?" Shego used her elbow to turn off the hall light and closed the door to the master bedroom; the adults were calling it an early night as well but weren't going to sleep just yet. She held a steaming mug of tea in each hand and offered one to Kim, the redhead already having claimed the wing chair facing the street.
"When the girls and I were in time out."
The picture window in the master bedroom was as large as the one in the living room directly below it, and served as a peaceful retreat more than once for two people that rarely had much time for peace and shared solitude.
"I called Missy Edwards' mother."
Kim managed to gulp down a whole mouthful of hot tea without choking but it was almost a minute before she could comment. Shego made herself comfortable in her own chair and waited.
"You did what?!"
"I said, sugar britches, that I called Missy's mom."
"What did you say to her?" Kim had visions of restraining orders dancing in her head.
"I simply introduced myself and explained that I was calling about today's incident at the school." Black glossed lips blew across the hot liquid. "I apologized for the girls' behavior and asked if there was anything that we could do for the Edwards family to make the sitch right and I assured her that our daughters were dealt with sternly and would be severely chastised."
"Uh, huh."
"I did!"
"Ok."
"Kim, maybe you didn't handle yourself quite as well as you'd have liked to with Barkin, but you're not the only one able to talk to other parents about stuff." Emerald eyes looked across the small space between the chairs. "We talked about this, remember?"
"Yes, we did, and you're right. I'm sorry that I doubted you." The petite woman looked away and plucked at her pajamas in embarrassment. "You're perfectly capable. Maybe more so in light of my behavior."
"Did you really call him a dickweed?"
"Um… twice."
"You DOG!" Shego held out her fist and Kim was not so contrite that she didn't raise her own fist to bump knuckles.
"I'm proud of you!"
"I'm not to proud of myself."
"The jerk had it coming!"
"That's… not it. I… I…"
"Spill."
"It took me too long to stand up to him. Not just years ago but in his office this afternoon."
"We've all got our boogeyman, Princess."
"Barkin was never so terrible as to be my boogeyman. He may have been Ron's, but…"
Shego watched the younger woman fold inward upon herself a little.
"Personal demons?"
"Isn't it always?"
The older woman raised her mug.
"To personal demons."
"Skoal!" Kim smiled.
"Slainte!"
"What?"
"Something I heard from Killigan. It means 'good health'." Shego took a sip. "You know, you made a good call when you said Missy's words would carry their own punishment."
"I don't believe that I stated it so eloquently."
"Whatever. Apparently this disclosure crap is subjective. Mrs. Edwards wasn't told why Missy was shoved on her little ass."
"What?"
"Yep."
"And you told her?"
"Yep."
"And?"
"She was aghast."
"Really?"
"Yep. I believed her, too. She swore that she had no idea that Missy had said any such thing, or that she knew where the girl would have heard the word. Carpet muncher, I mean."
"Great. I could have gone all year without hearing that again."
"Ain't I something? Anyway, Mrs. Edwards offered her deepest apologies and assures me that Missy will have her hide tanned for her."
"Barkin really didn't give her that detail?"
"Apparently not."
"Well, that fits."
Shego thought about asking for an explanation, but the thought soon vanished. She was much more content to keep her eyes on the pretty woman seated across from her.
"I'm glad that you're here."
"Well, I'm glad that I'm here, too, Pumpkin." Shego gave Kim a wink. "Care to elaborate?"
"I'm… glad that… you're with me to bring the girls up right."
"I'm still a bit fuzzy but I appreciate the sentiment." There wasn't much too see in the master bedroom after the lights had been turned out, so the former villain just stared at her wife's profile in the light from the streetlamps outside. "How so?"
"You always know the right thing to say. The… smart way to do things."
"Kim…"
"No, I mean it. I'm ok with it, so I don't need a lecture on smarts."
Shego decided that a brief lecture was warranted, nonetheless.
"Kimmie, your problem is that you think too damn fast."
"Well, I do the best I…" She caught herself while stumbling over what she'd just heard. "What did you say?"
"You think too fast, baby. Fast, but not deep enough." Shego turned to face the petite woman fully, taking the smaller hands in hers. "Your folks and your brothers aren't the only brains in the Possible family. You've got more than enough smarts to match theirs."
"But I don't."
"Yes. You. Do." Shego frowned. "But they're like submarines to your speedboat."
"Ok, not to prove my own point, but please spell this one out for me."
"Your Dad and your brothers love to ponder and theorize and extrapolate but they're the sort that take hours or days or even months to find the golden answer, the final solution… that single unifying theory that determines the inverse tangential hypotenuse of the negative integer."
"Uh…"
"Meaning how many beans make five."
"Gotcha. And that's bad?"
"It ain't bad, it's just that brains like them don't recognize the need for speed. The need for an answer NOW… maybe not the best answer but definitely the one that will save lives. Your mother's like that because her medical training taught her that seconds count. You're like that and you've saved more than your share of lives, too."
"You see things faster than I do."
"Wrong, kiddo. You see plenty."
"You saw that Sheki was the one who shoved Missy on her ass."
"Language, angel. You'd have seen it eventually. I had the luxury of sitting and talking with the girls alone while you were busy with the grown up stuff."
"Hey." Kim turned into the nibble and fended off the attacking mouth with her own. "I heard someplace that grown-ups don't refer to themselves as 'grown-up'."
"I heard that, too. And I'm serious… you'd have seen it if our sitch had been reversed."
"So not."
"So would."
"What tipped you off?"
"Sheki's always the quiet one but she looked way too guilty. Both girls know the proper way to behave thanks to that overdeveloped sense of right and wrong they inherited from you…."
"Ain't I something?"
"… but she was obviously torn by the idea of her sister taking the blame."
"Our little heroes."
"The Oscar goes to Kasy for her 'I'm Spartacus!' routine. If it had been a fair fight that the girls had been aggravated into… well, then I could understand them throwing a few punches."
"Me, too actually. They both want to be like us when they grow up and they'll want to learn all that we can teach them about combat." Kim polished off the last of her tea and set the cup back down on sill. "I just want them to be on the right side as well as the winning side."
"I can accept that. Now, back to our discussion of 'smarts'."
Kim's blush could be felt even in the darkened room.
"Please ignore all that. I'm fine, I was just bugging."
"If you say so. Remember that you can be too rich, to thin and too smart."
"That's hard to believe."
"Genius comes at a price, Kimmie. We could both name a guy that's no better off for all the smarts he has."
"You mean Drakken?"
"The one and only."
"Shoot." Kim snuggled back against the receptive body of her spouse. "If that's what passes for 'smarts', you can call me 'Kim Tardable'."
"Bad Kimmie! Bad! And I thought you meant all that horseshit about name calling!"
"I'm sorry."
"The Hell you are." Long, pale green fingers reached across the gap to tweak a delicate pink nose gently in the darkness.
"So."
"So."
"What are the girls wearing for Trick or Treat?"
"Ooo! There was this little cat outfit that Sheki liked and the ears look adorable on her!"
"Stupid anime… making everyone think that cat ears on humans looks adorable. What about Kasy?"
"You get three guesses and the first two don't count."
"Zombie?
Yep."
"Again?"
"Brrraaaiiiiiiinnnss!"
"That kid is sick."
"Sick and wrong. What about you? Elphaba again?"
"So not!"
"Orion Slave Girl?"
"Been there, done that."
"Then what?"
"Medusa!"
"What??"
"Yeah! It's so cool! I'll plait my hair into coils like snakes and anyone that looks directly at me will get their rocks off."
"Didn't Medusa turn people into stone?"
"Close enough." Shego finished her own tea and her cup joined that of her mate. "What are you wearing?"
"I hadn't decided."
"Really? Can I make a suggestion?"
"Sure."
"Wear the Spritekin outfit!"
"Shego! You know how I hate that outfit!"
"Why?"
"Because the top part is only a vest and it's barely laced together up the front and nothing but more lacings up the side! I feel like I'm falling out if it every time!"
"Yeah! Booyah!"
"Booyah, my foot!" Kim frowned. "It shows too much of what I don't have!"
"Kimmie, forget for once that you're a card carrying member of the I.B.T.C. and show off what you've got."
"What I've got is nothing!"
The former villain shook her head in disgust as she bodily lifted a surprised Kim out of her chair and down onto Shego's firm lap.
"Pumpkin… if you really don't have anything, then the next few minutes won't mean much to you."
The next few minutes meant quite a lot, actually… as did the next hour or so.
The End.
Author's Notes: And that, my friends, is one DEAD plot bunny. I wish that I could say that I hammered this out over a week or two, but that would be dishonest. At least I was able to finish it in time for Halloween. Please excuse any rough editing because I'm frelling tired right now. I hope you enjoyed the story! Be well.
