"I don't see why we couldn't go get burgers with everyone else," Jay said as he and Adam went into Taco Bell together. The others had gone to get Burger King but Adam had made some excuse about Jeff grilling out hamburgers later and dragged Jay to Taco Bell with them so they could talk alone. Jay had known the whole time that he was lying to everybody else but kept his mouth shut about it until now. "What's up with you?"

Adam ignored him in favor of ordering their food. He paid for both of theirs and handed Jay his cup so they could get their drinks. He was refusing to address the issue until they sat down at the corner table with their food, which irritated Jay. "Come on man, talk to me," he nagged. "What the hell is with you lately? You're being really weird."

"I have to tell you something." Adam was glancing around to make sure nobody was within hearing distance. There was just a family eating in there with him and they were on the other side of the restaurant. As long as he didn't start yelling they wouldn't overhear him.

"Well yeah I figured that." Jay tilted back in his chair and drummed his fingers against the table impatiently. "So what is it? You can't keep me waiting in suspense man. It's not healthy."

Adam tried to crack some resemblance of a smile but didn't manage it. Instead he just tapped his fingers against the table and took a deep breath to brace himself. "You have to promise not to get mad. I need your support on this."

"I always have your back man," Jay reassured him. "BFFF man. Best fucking friends forever. I'll always have your back."

"This is really really bad though..."

"Did you kill someone or something?" Jay was actually serious with that question. "Do you need an alibi? Cuz I can give you one."

"No I didn't kill anyone." He might as well just say it and quit beating around the bush. "I'm cheating on Jeff."

Jay's eyes just about popped out of his head. "WHAT?"

"Ssssshhhh!" Adam kicked Jay's shin from under the table. Everyone was turning to look at them and his face flushed red in embarassment. "Jesus!"

"Sorry." Jay shook his head sheepishly. "How could you...I don't...dude what the hell? I thought you and Jeff were going great?"

"We were...and we are if you ask him." Adam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"How long has it been going on?" Jay was trying to ask nicely but he looked totally mind blown. He clearly hadn't seen this coming.

"Few months...it was just supposed to be a one time mistake but it just totally spiraled out of control."

"Why haven't you broken up with him?" Of course Jay asked that. It was a completely valid question. "I mean, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but while cheating once is bad enough, you'll really look like the bad guy if it's been going on for that long."

"I know," Adam admitted. "I should have broken up with him I should have but..." His voice trailed off as he got lost in his thoughts. Truth was, he hadn't known how to do it. Jeff had been a constant in his life for so long that he didn't know how to break things off between them. As taken advantaged of as he felt, it was hard to imagine a life without Jeff. Maybe he was just as complacent with their relationship as Jeff was. If that was the case, he was even worse than he was before. At least Jeff genuinely thought they were happy. He was not only cheating but using their relationship as a safety net. Fuck, he felt like the shittiest person in the world now-not that that was much of a stretch at this point. He felt pretty horrible to begin with.

"So who's the guy?"

Adam blinked, taken off guard by the question. "What?"

"The guy," Jay prompted. "Who is he? Or is it a girl?"

"Oh. No it's a guy. Someone...someone we know."

"Well gee that narrows it down."Jay took a sip of his Mountain Dew.

"It's Randy."

Jay promptly choked on his drink. "Randy? Randy Orton?"

"You know any other Randy's?"

"Oh Christ..." Jay coughed and ran a hand over his face. "Oh christ Adam what were you thinking? How could you sleep with Randy fucking Orton? He's...he's evil!"

"He's not that bad..." Adam cringed at the look on Jay's face. "AdYou promised you would be supporting-"

"Oh I'm supportive of you. Just not of what you're doing. Out of everything you've done, this has got to be the dumbest." Jay pushed his food away, not even wanting to touch it anymore. Adam couldn't blame him; he had lost his appetite as well. "Do you love him?"

"Who?"

"Randy!"

"No..."

"Then why are you fucking him? I've known you for a couple of decades now. You never were the one looking for a quick fuck."

Adam felt like the family on the other side of the room was watching them and he took a glance over to see that he was just projecting his paranoia. "He...he makes me feel wanted," he admitted. He couldn't even look at Jay as he said this. He was ashamed of what he had been doing. It wasn't right, no matter how unhappy he was in the relationship. "With Jeff it just feels like I'm there, you know? I'm just a part of the scenery to him. I'm like the couch or the lamp or the coffee table. There's no passion anymore...none that I can feel anyway. With Randy...there's a fire. It's kind of what like Jeff and I used to have but different...more dangerous."

"Yeah well he's not exactly known for being stable," Jay pointed out. He let out a heavy sigh. He seriously disapproved of the stuff that Adam was doing but what could really be said about it? He had promised to be supportive and clearly Adam knew he was wrong as well. He could tell by the look on his face. "When are you going to tell Jeff?"

Adam shrugged. "I don't know..."

"Dude, don't even tell me that you're not going to tell him." Jay shook his head. "Don't even give me that shit man. You HAVE to tell him."

"I know I know. Randy said the same thing to me."

Jay's eyebrows shot up. "He did?" He chuckled in bewilderment. "Wow. Who knew Orton could talk sense?"

"It happens when you wait for him to get done with his bullshit."

"I guess." Jay shook his head. "Seriously though, when did he say it?"

"Eariler today. When I went to get snacks at the movie and he came out to go to the bathroom. He says he's breaking up with John."

Jay's brow furrowed. "Is he gonna tell John about you guys?"

"I...I don't think so. He just made it sound like it was an errand that he forgot to do and was finally getting around to it. You wouldn't think he actually loved John."

"He probably doesn't." Again Jay was shaking his head. "I don't care how much he's changed. He never loved John. Ever."

"Little harsh there."

"I speak what I believe is the truth." Jay finally pulled his food back and took a bite of it, even though it was cold. "Do you think he loves you?"

Adam bit down his lower lip. "...I honestly don't know. Part of me says no but I wouldn't dare to assume what is going on in Randy's head."

"Hell no. A mind reader couldn't even do it." Jay took another bite of his food and chewed it slowly. "Adam..." he swallowed it and took a quick drink of his soda. "What if he does love you and wants you to leave Jeff for him? What are you going to do?"

Adam froze at that question. He hadn't thought of that. "I don't know..." He was certain that he had fallen out of love of Jeff (though he still loved him...he just wasn't IN love with him anymore) but he wasn't sure if he could ever actually love Randy. Randy had a history of bad mood swings, drug use and episodes of violence...John had mellowed him out but there was still the question as to whether that was permanent or not. Though to be honest with himself, Adam knew he was partly making excuses with those reasons. He partly just didn't think he could be with Randy as an actual couple because it would remind him of what he had done to Jeff.

"Well fuck." Jay ran a hand through his hair and pushed his food yet again, deciding it wasn't even worth eating now. "When are you going to tell Jeff?"

"I think I'm going to try to tonight." Adam rubbed the back of his neck and groaned. "I don't know what he's gonna do. I might have to crash at your place tonight."

Jay nodded. "That's fine. Call me when you need me and I'll get you."

"I could drive you know..."

"Believe me, after the two of you are done with that conversation, you're both going to be too big of messes to do anything. Just call me when you need me, alright?"

"Alright."

...

Jay dropped Adam off at his house, giving him a supportive squeeze of his shoulder as he got out of the car. Adam nodded in appreciation before closing the car door and taking a deep breath. He had been silent for most of the car ride back, taking deep breaths and telling himself that he could indeed look Jeff in the eye and tell him what had been going on. It had to be done. The deceit couldn't continue on. Whatever happened had to happen. He told himself over and over again and even started saying it under his breath as he walked up the path to the house. He could do this. He could. He just had to do it and then he could go from there. He would at least get some of the weight off his chest

He was just about to open the door to go into the house when it suddenly opened for him. Jeff was standing on the other side of it and his face was as pale as could be. "What is it?" Adam asked, knowing that it was something really really bad already.

Jeff swallowed hard. "Matt just called...Dad's in the hospital. He had a heart attack."