Authors note:

This chapter has spoilers for the episode 'The House Always Wins'.

How it Should Have Been Chapter 7

Things had gotten back to normal over the next couple of days. Angel was quite pleased that Connor hadn't tried to run again after the emotionally charged story from Angel's past. The more Angel thought about what was happening in his life with Connor back and Cordy gone, the more he wanted Lorne to read him and tell him where his path led. It used to be very easy to get Lorne to read him, because he lived there. But now Lorne lived in Las Vegas, and when they called him, Lorne always cut the phone call short, and sounded like he had no time for them. After this last confrontation with Connor, Angel wanted Lorne to listen to him sing even more. He wanted to hear about what Lorne saw in his future, so he could feel he had a goal to shoot for. He decided to break the news to everyone on that Friday afternoon.

Connor had finished his tutoring sessions with everyone, and he was doing some homework in the lobby while Fred, Gunn, and Wesley did research on a demon a woman had clamed to see in her house. Angel came out of his office and said, "I'm glad you're all here. We need to have a group meeting."

They all looked at him expectantly. "Lorne will not return my calls. Have any of you talked to him for more than five seconds on the phone?"

Fred and Gunn shook their heads no, and Connor hearing that they were talking about 'the filthy green demon' turned back to his homework. Wesley said, "I haven't had any contact with Lorne since he left for Las Vegas."

Angel said, "Well I really want him to read me. I need a little direction, so I want to go and make him see me for at least a few minutes. I mean he's been our friend for a couple of years now, and he's done battle with us and for us. That has to count for something, right? Not to mention I've saved his life before. He should at least have the decency to see me for a five minute reading."

Connor snorted and said, "Decency? Yeah right."

Angel was well aware that Connor had a problem with Lorne because he was a demon, but since Lorne had left for Las Vegas, they hadn't really talked about it. He said, "Connor, Lorne was like your nanny when you were a baby. He loved you and sang to you. He changed your diapers and fed you. You don't know him at all, and you've condemned him just because he's not human. Not all demons are bad. In fact many of them fight for good like we do."

Connor said nothing but rolled his eyes and looked back at his book. Angel did not think this was encouraging, and he decided that when they were alone sharing stories, he would tell him some stories about Lorne and Doyle. Angel said, "So, who wants to take a little trip to Vegas for some fun and gambling, and maybe a show or two?"

Fred raised her hand and jumped up and down a little saying, "Me! Me!"

All the men looked at her like she had lost her mind, and she slowly put her hand down and said in a small voice, "I've never been there before."

Gunn put an arm on her shoulder and said, "Well then, I'll have lots to show you."

Fred smiled up at Gunn, and Angle said, "Great, so Wesley can you stay here for the weekend and watch Connor?"

Wesley said, "Yes."

But Connor's irate shout overpowered Wesley. He yelled, "What the hell do you mean watch me? Why can't we all go?"

Angel said, "Because most of the things we're going to do in Vegas require a person to be 21 years old. And even if your paperwork said you were 21, I don't think people would believe it. If we did take you, you would end up staying in the hotel room while we were off working, and you would be board. Besides that, I need someone to stay here and work on cases while I'm gone."

Connor slammed his book closed and walked off towards his room. Once he was gone Angel said, "Well isn't he all warm and fuzzy today."

Wesley said, "I'll go home and gather the things I'll need to stay here for the weekend."

Angel said, "Thanks Wes, I really appreciate it. We'll leave as soon as it gets dark tonight. I'm gonna go talk to Connor, and I hope you don't have any trouble with him, but if you do just call my cell phone and I'll come back."

Wesley nodded and walked towards the door. Angel turned to Fred and Gunn and said, "Better go pack."

As they walked off, Fred started talking to Gunn a mile a minute asking him when he had been there, and what he had done, and what he wanted to show her.

Angel sighed and headed up to Connor's room. He knocked on the door and walked in after a couple of seconds of no response. Connor was lying on his bed listening to music with his headphones on. It was one of the things Angel disliked Connor doing, because he didn't think it was safe to have an open window and not be able to hear what danger might be going on. But Gunn had given them to Connor, so he didn't want to take it away. Connor looked up and took the headphones off. He said in an unpleasant tone, "What Dad?"

Angel sat on the bed next to Connor and said, "I know you hate to be left out son, but this isn't really even a case. I'm just going to see an old friend, and it's one you don't even like very much."

Connor said, "I don't trust him. He could turn on you. I should be there to help you fight."

Angel said in a tired voice, "That's one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. I let Lorne take care of you when you were a baby. I trusted him with you, which means that I trust him with my life too. He's a good man, and your blind hate is going to get you into trouble in more ways then one. Maybe I should tell you a slavery story and see if you can get the connection."

"I know about slavery. Gunn spent a day telling me about slavery in America and how it still has lingering effects on the way black people are treated today. He said it would help me understand the current culture. I thought it was pretty sick the way human's treated each other, but I don't get how that relates to hating a demon that's out to get you."

Angel said, "Well back when slavery started in America the white people had to have a way to justify their treatment of their slaves, so they made themselves hate and sometimes fear all black people. They made it seem like they were a whole different species, and taught their children to hate them, and treat them like objects. You were taught by Holtz to blindly hate all demons no matter what. Can't you see the correlation?"

Connor said, "That's not the same at all! Demons ARE a different species from humans, and a lot of them like to kill us!"

Angel said, "I'm telling you that it is the same Connor. You don't know Lorne, but I do. I've told you he's a good person, but you don't believe me. You still hate him because he's green with horns"

Connor started to say something else, and Angel interrupted with, "Just think about it over the weekend. Speaking of which, I want you to try and be good for Wesley. I know he can be an ass sometimes, but he really is trying to be a good guy. And I guess I want to warn you that if Wesley has a problem with you, and he has to call me, you are going to be an unhappy boy when I get back. And if I have to cut my trip short because I have to come find you… let's just say sitting will be hard for you for a while."

Connor said in a nasty voice, "You bet Dad. I'll just stay here like a good kid while you all go talk to the demon. What a great plan."

Angel counted to ten in his head and said, "I don't care if you like it, as long as you go along with it, we'll be fine. Oh, and by the way because of your little tantrum down in the lobby, I'm going to make sure Wesley understands that you have to keep up with ALL your tutoring sessions, and your two hours of extra work each day this weekend."

Connor wanted to say something else, but he knew from past experience that it wouldn't be a good idea. When he got too mean, Angel would just start saying things like, 'okay we'll make that three hours a day' or, 'maybe an extra hour of tutoring will improve your mood', so Connor kept his mouth shut with some difficulty and crossed his arms. He glared at Angel.

Angel thought Connor showed great restraint by not saying something, and pulled him into a hug. Connor tried to pull away at first, but soon gave up. Angel said, "I'll miss you while I'm gone, and if your good, I'll bring you something back."

Angel felt Connor's arms going around him too, and they sat that way for a couple of minutes. Angel was quite pleased, and surprised that ever since Connor had hugged him back that first time Connor had kept returning his hugs. Connor might not always be nice, and he said some pretty mean and hurtful things every day, but Angel found great hope in the fact that they were able to be physically close without Connor fighting him or pretending to be a zombie. Angel let go and said, "I have to go pack. I'll say goodbye before we go."

Wesley and Connor got along okay while the team was gone. There were a couple of times that Connor got angry, and Wesley had said, "Should I call Angel?" And if that wasn't enough to make Connor shut up, it was at least enough to make him do what he was told.

In Vegas, Fred, Gunn, and Angel found out that Lorne was being kept hostage, and was being made to use his powers for evil. It was late Sunday night when they finally got Lorne free and took down the person who had been keeping Lorne hostage. After they had saved him, Lorne decided to go home with them. Angel thought this was great, because Lorne was a good friend and a good asset to the team. He was worried how Connor would deal with it at first, but he thought with enough time and effort they could get along. Angel asked everyone if they wanted to get a room for the night because it was late, but Lorne wanted to get out of Vegas and back home. They made good time, and arrived back home at the hotel about 5am right before daybreak. Gunn woke up Fred and they headed for their room to sleep. Lorne looked at Angel and said, "It's great to be home."

Angel said, "It's great to have you home. You can have your old room if you want, or if not, pick whichever one you like. I'll see you in the morning, and we can do that reading."

Lorne said, "Good night" and headed up to his old room. It felt good to be there, and it was such a relief not to be under constant surveillance. It was so good to just be free. He got to his old room, and saw that nothing had been changed. He was so busy thinking about how happy he was; that he didn't hear Connor behind him until it was too late. Connor raised the sword and decapitated Lorne. Lorne's head rolled under the bed, and as Connor was going to put the sword away he heard a high-pitched scream coming from under the bed. He couldn't figure out what was down there with the head, but he really hoped it wasn't Fred. Then he thought 'I would have smelled Fred or anyone else for that matter. The demon was alone.' Connor was standing still thinking for a few seconds while the scream continued. Soon Fred and Gunn were there, followed by Wesley and last Angel. Connor just stood there and watched while Angel yelled above the sustained scream, "Lorne is that you?"

The scream stopped and Lorne said, "My head's under the bed. I think your kid still has a major problem with me."

Connor was cursing his luck. How was he supposed to know that that kind of demon didn't die from decapitation? Most of them did. He didn't have time to think long, because Angel was in front of him. Angel grabbed the sword from his hand and tossed it to Wesley. Angel then grabbed Connor's arm and swung him around to swat his butt six times as hard as he could. Connor yelled and had tears in his eyes by the time the sixth swat had landed. Angel yelled at him, "Get your butt into your room NOW!"

Connor ran to his room and slammed the door. Fred had climbed under the bed and was pulling Lorne's head out with her. She put it back on his body and Lorne said, "Thanks doll, I can't tell you how much better that feels."

Angel came up to Lorne and said, "Lorne, I'm so, so, sorry. I never thought Connor would do something like that. Please accept my apology, and he will be giving you one as well. I hope this doesn't change your mind about staying."

Lorne thought about it and said, "I do want to stay here, but I don't like having my head cut off, and if the little monster was trying to kill me, then I don't want him to find out how to really do it."

Angel put a hand on Lorne's shoulder and said, "I'm gonna make sure he doesn't try it again, and if he does, I'll lock him up at night and make sure you two are never alone together. Please stay Lorne."

Lorne thought about it and said, "Okay. I guess for now I will, but if things get worse with him, I'll have to leave."

Angel paused and then said, "Fred and Gunn already know, but before you hear it, I should let both you and Wes know that those swats I gave Connor were just the start. I'm gonna spank him. I don't know if you agree with my parenting techniques or not, but it seems to be working for him."

Wesley nodded and said, "I thought you were using some kind of physical punishment. From what I have heard about Holtz, it's something Connor understands. I don't have a problem with it. He's much better behaved than when he first got here."

Lorne said, "He just cut off my head. You aren't going to get any arguments from me!"

Angel nodded and headed towards his room while everyone else went back to bed. Connor was lying on the bed thinking. He thought, 'Tonight didn't turn out like I wanted it to at all! I'm trying to protect them from the demon, and Angel punishes me for it! He sucks. They can't even tell how evil it is. They trust him! It's sick. I would have been able to bury the body before anyone woke up too. Filthy demon living right next to me!'

His thoughts were interrupted with a knock on the door. He didn't have time to say come in before a very angry Angel appeared holding the hairbrush that Connor now hated. Connor couldn't believe Angel was so angry about a demon. Connor didn't think he had ever seen Angel so angry. Angel pulled out Connor's desk chair and pointed to it while he yelled, "SIT!"

Connor was starting to get pretty nervous and gulped. He got up off his bed and walked quickly to the chair and sat down. Angel paced back and forth in front of Connor while he said in a fairly calm voice, "I am more disappointed in you now, than I have ever been. Frankly I am past caring whether you like Lorne or not. You will under no circumstances try to kill him or anyone else living here!"

Connor yelled, "I would never try to kill Fred, Gunn, or Wesley!"

Angel said, "Well now you need to add another name to that list!"

Connor crossed his arms and glared at Angel. Angel said, "Connor this is my house, and I invited Lorne to stay here, with Fred and Gunn's approval. You show disrespect to all of us when you try to hurt Lorne, and I won't put up with it."

Connor thought quick and said, "I didn't know it was Lorne. I just saw a demon sneaking around and I was trying to protect everyone in the hotel. I didn't even know you were back."

Angel stood still for a few minutes staring at Connor, and Connor started to fidget and soon had a very red face. Angel said, "You haven't lied to me in a long time Connor. Tell me what the rules are that I set up for you."

Connor got even more red and mumbled, "No running, no physical fighting with anyone who lives here, doing what I'm told to do by the people who live here, and…and no lying."

Angel said, "This hasn't been your best night little boy. I'm tired. Get up."

Connor stood up and Angel grabbed his arm. Angel sat down and undid Connor's pants and pulled them down with his underwear faster than Connor could move. Angel tugged Connor over his knees and started spanking hard with the hairbrush right away. Connor started yelling and squirming right away. He even said, "Please…Ahh… Stop!….Oww… Dad stoooopp!"

Angel was surprised at the 'Dad' but kept going. He said, "You WILL NOT try to kill Lorne again. If you do, I will not be able to trust you, and I will have to lock you up every night. Then I will make sure you are never alone during the day again. You will not be a happy boy."

Connor wasn't too far gone yet, and he had heard and understood what Angel had said. He yelled, "I'm sorryyyyy! OWW! I won't…..Uuhhnn… do it again! Ahhh!"

Angel said, "You better not." And continued to spank him.

Soon Connor was in so much pain, that he couldn't do much besides cry and lay limp over Angel's lap.

Angel stopped and tossed the brush on Connor's bed. He rubbed Connor's back in soothing circles, and said, "Okay we're done for now."

When Connor's crying got a little more under control, Angel pulled up his underwear. Since Connor hadn't been wearing shoes, his pants had fallen to the floor while he was kicking his legs. Angel turned him over and held Connor in his lap. He rocked back and forth a little and said, "It's okay now Connor. I don't think I can forgive you right now for trying to kill Lorne, but I'm not mad at you any more, and if the next few days go better, I'll be able to forgive you."

Connor put his arms around Angel and said, "I'm sorry, I just want to protect you all form it."

Angel said calmly, "His name is Lorne and that is how you will refer to him."

Connor said, "But I don't trust him. He'll turn on you."

Angel said, "No Connor. He won't. And even if he did, don't you think I could handle it?"

Connor couldn't think of another way to convince Angel that Lorne was dangerous, so he didn't say anything.

Angel sat there with Connor for a few more minutes and then he said, "Okay, let's get you into bed son."

Connor stood and walked to his bed. He lay on his stomach and pulled the cover's up over himself. Angel sat on the side of the bed and said, "I'm gonna have Wes come in and watch you for the rest of the night, because I can't risk you hurting Lorne again."

Connor wasn't sure why, but he started to cry again at the lack of trust. Angel said, "And in the morning when we both wake up, you and I are going to have a talk about lying."

Connor sniffed and said, "No Dad, please don't. I…. I'm sorry I lied to you."

Angel kissed the side of Connor's forehead, and said, "I'll see you in the morning. Try to get some sleep."

Angel got up and walked to the room Wesley was using for the weekend. He knocked and Wesley came to the door pretty quickly. Angel said, "I'm sorry to ask Wes, but it's already daylight out, and I have been awake for two day's straight. Could you please stay in Connor's room while he sleeps? I can't trust him not to try and kill Lorne again right now."

"Of course Angel. I don't think I'll be able to sleep any more today anyway. Let me get dressed and get a book and a snack and I'll meet you there."

Angel went back and found that Connor was already asleep. He noticed the brush on the end of the bed and picked it up to take back to his room. Soon Wes came in the room and put the desk chair by the door to sit in. He had a sandwich and a book. He nodded to Angel who nodded back and whispered "Wake me when he gets up." and headed to his room.

The next morning about eleven, Connor woke up. He rolled over and was surprised that his butt was still a little tender. There wasn't much pain, but he could tell it wasn't back to normal yet. He was usually completely healed after a few hours, and thought he would feel normal again soon after breakfast. He tended to need to eat more when he was healing. He sat up and saw Wesley reading a book in his room. He remembered all of last night and groaned. Wesley said, "Ah, I see your up. Good. Go take a shower if you want, while I wake Angel."

Connor said, "Maybe you should let him sleep. He was up pretty late."

Wesley smiled and said, "Sorry Connor, but he asked me to wake him."

Connor groaned again and put his head in his hands for a second before getting up to go take a long shower.

When Connor got out Angel was waiting for him. He noticed the room was darker now, because the shade had been drawn to protect Angel from the sun. Angel was sitting in the desk chair in the middle of the room again. Connor had a towel around his waste, and decided clothes would be a very good idea about now. He said, "Morning Angel, did you sleep well?"

As he talked he headed for his dresser and heard Angel say, "Don't bother."

Connor froze in place and waited for what Angel would say next. He turned to look at Angel. Angel said, "Come here son."

Connor didn't want to, but didn't see many other options, so he headed to Angel's side. Angel immediately pulled Connor over his lap, and yanked the towel up so he could get to Connor's bare butt. He started spanking right away, but not as hard as last night. Connor tried to be quiet, and was very glad that Angel was just using his hand this time. While Angel was still spanking Connor he asked, "Why am I spanking you son?"

Connor thought it was odd that Angel would ask him that. Angel usually told him why. He said, "Don't you know?"

Angel almost laughed at that, but kept it in. He increased the strength a bit and said, "Yes, I know why, but I want to see if you remember why."

Connor started to kick and squirm a little and he said, "Because I…I lied to you."

"That's right."

Angel put more strength into the spanks and kept going. Soon Connor started to yell out an occasional 'Oww'.

Angel finally gave him eight more full force spanks, which made Connor yell loudly, and he started to cry. Angel pulled the towel back down and stood Connor up. He stood up too and hugged Connor while he said, "Don't lie to me Connor. I can tell when you lie, and it makes me not trust you. You should never lie to get out of trouble, because it will just get you into more trouble."

Connor nodded into his chest.

Angel said, "Get dressed and come down for breakfast. While we're all eating you will apologize to everyone for keeping them up last night, and you will apologize to Lorne for trying to kill him."

Connor sniffed and said, "But that will be a lie."

Angel smiled and thought Connor was pretty smart. He said, "You said you were sorry last night."

Connor said, "I was sorry you were mad, and that you were spanking me."

"You said you wouldn't do it again."

"I won't."

Angel thought for a minute and said, "Okay, for today you can start the apology with 'My dad is making me say'. But I hope that eventually you will feel bad about it, and want to apologize to Lorne yourself."

Connor thought about it and said, "Okay."

Wesley had gone home to put his stuff away and relax for a while by himself, but everyone else was there at the table when Connor came in. He sat in his chair and squirmed a bit. While they ate, Angel told Lorne what they had found out about Cordy, and about the recent cases they had been working on. When there was a pause Angel said expectantly, "Conner…"

Connor looked at his mostly empty plate and said, "I'm sorry I kept everyone awake last night, and Angel is making me tell the demon I'm sorry for trying to kill him, even though I'm not."

Angel said through clenched teeth, "Try again, or we can go back upstairs and talk some more."

Connor shifted in his chair and said, "My dad is making me tell you that I'm sorry for trying to kill you Lorne."

Lorne said, "I can just feel the love. How about you kids, can you feel the love?"

Gunn said, "I don't know about love, but I can feel irritation and impatience for certain children who don't know what's good for them."

Connor got a little red at that and said, "I know living with a demon can't be good for me!"

Angel stood up and yelled "That's it!.."

Fred interrupted him with, "Connor, could you come to my room please. There's something I want to show you."

Connor glared at Angel and Angel glared right back. Fred said, "Please Connor."

Connor looked over at Fred and said, "Okay Fred."

As soon as they were in Fred's room, she turned on the TV and started to look through her tapes. Soon she found what she was looking for, and put it in the VCR and hit play. She sat on the bed next to Connor and put her arm around his shoulder as they watched together. They sat for the next two hours watching home video's of Connor when he was a baby. He saw all of them; Angel, Fred, Gunn, Wesley, Cordy, and Lorne playing with him, dressing him, bathing him, and feeding him. They all sounded so proud when he could do things like lift his head and roll over. He almost didn't recognize Angel he looked so happy. But one thing was for sure; Lorne was in almost every shot. When the other's were playing with him Lorne was there watching, and Lorne was the one who was doing most of the diaper changes and bathing and even feeding. There were a couple of times when they were video taping and there was a call, or Cordy had a vision, and they all had to run out. When that happened, whoever was holding Connor would pass him to Lorne to watch while they were gone. He saw Lorne singing to him, kissing him, and looking at him with love, and he could see his baby self smiling and cooing at Lorne.

When the tape was over Fred went and pulled it out of the VCR. She handed it to Connor and said, "Keep it, so you can watch it whenever you want. This tape is only about five months old. Five months ago Lorne was caring for you like this. Lorne loves you, and you're hurting him with your hate. I want you to stop."

Fred walked out the door not waiting for Connor to respond. Connor put the tape back in the VCR and watched it again. He was surprised no one came in to bug him. He wasn't sure how to feel about it. He thought about Holtz, and how many of the things Holtz had taught him were wrong. He thought about the things Holtz had told him about Angel, and how much of that was wrong. He remembered Angel telling him about slavery, and how blind hate had kept people from seeing the truth. He watched the tape and was especially engrossed by one scene of Lorne rocking and singing to him. He spit up all over what looked like a pretty expensive suit, but all Lorne said was, "Poor baby, lets get you changed and see if you feel better." Connor thought, 'Fa…Holtz would have probably put me on the ground and cursed me while cleaning himself off.'

Once the tape was over for the second time, he realized he was wrong about Lorne. He was pretty embarrassed and more than a little ashamed that he had tried to kill him before he even knew him. He thought Angel had shown quite a bit of restraint in just spanking him. He new Holtz would have been much more violent in a similar situation. He took the tape to his room, and went to find Lorne.

Lorne was in the office with Angel. Lorne had just read Angel, and was reassuring Angel that he was following the right path, and that he should just keep doing what he was doing. The door was open, so Connor walked in and stood by the door. Angel turned to him and said, "You better have something nice to say, or you can just go find Gunn to do some tutoring"

Connor looked at the floor and said, "I'm sorry Lorne for trying to kill you, and I won't do it again. I hope that we can get to know each other better."

Lorne said, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I saw a tape of you and me when I was a baby, and I realized I was wrong."

Lorne thought about it and said, "Okay we'll try to get to know each other and see how it goes."

Connor nodded and looked over at Angel who was smiling and said, "I'm sorry I was so awful….Dad."

Angel got up and walked to Connor. He pulled him into a hug and said, "I'm glad you understand now. And I can even forgive you for trying to kill Lorne. But it better not happen again to anyone, and I mean anyone, that I invite to stay here with us. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"You're behind in your day. You better go find Fred or Gunn and start your tutoring."

"Okay."

"Oh, but before you go, I want to give you this."

"You brought me home a pen with a woman on it?"

Angel said, "Turn it upside down."

Connor saw the woman's clothes fall to the bottom. He looked embarrassed and said, "Oh brother." As he walked away.

Angel laughed.

Once Connor was gone, Lorne said, "He's changed for the better since the last time I saw him. I think you're doing a great job, and it's really important that you keep it up, because he could be dangerous without lots of love and attention. Teaching him and helping him grow will be a big part of your future. If you don't do a good job of it, things will get ugly for both of you."

Angel nodded and said, "I agree, so what do you want to teach him for an hour a day?"

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Well, part of my teaching him to be a good person will definitely include teaching him not to hate all demons. Who better to start that then you?"

"Now let's not be hasty here. I don't know if I have the time or patience for that. What could I possibly teach the little nipper anyway? If he has your genes, I'm sure he can't sing."

"Hey! I'm not that bad."

"Yes you are Angelcakes. I just had to listen to you remember?"

"Well, Darla could sing, but that's not the point. The point is, that I want you to spend time with him, and you know it's the right thing to do."

Lorne sighed and said, "Why did I leave Las Vegas? I think helping to destroy lives is better than trying to teach a teenager who hates me how to sing."

Angel laughed and clapped Lorne on the shoulder when he said, "You'll love it, and you know it."