"Congratulations, he looks just like you," said Mrs. Wilkinson as she dropped the baby into Mercedes' waiting arms. Looking down at her baby, Mercedes and Anthony made a confused look.

"Mrs. Wilkinson, the baby is Asian."

"She looks like you in spirit." Shaking their heads, Mercedes and Anthony started to get the baby ready.

"I have some clothes picked out for her, start putting her in this." Anthony did as he was told, as Kurt looked at the clothing.

"I approve of your choice, Mercedes. Very nice of you to go beyond the sphere of blue for boys and pink for girls," said Kurt as he stood next to Dave waiting in line for their baby.

"Puck, Quinn, here's yours." Everyone watched as Puck took the baby, and to Kurt's surprise, the baby looked disturbingly like what Beth had as an infant.

"Quinn, are you sure…?" asked Puck, looking at Quinn with concern.

"It's fine, I can do this," said Quinn quietly, picking up the car seat by her right. She gestured for Puck to put her inside, and once strapped in, Quinn stared for a long moment.

"We'll figure out a schedule on how to take care of her, so as not to get in the way of things we need to do," said Quinn as he sat down in her chair primly.

Kurt looked over to Mercedes, a look of concern on both of their faces. Kurt moved over to Mercedes' side and quietly whispered, "I think we may have to keep an eye on Quinn. This really isn't something she should be doing. Can't she drop out for whatever religious reason?"

Mercedes leaned over to Kurt's side. "She can, but from talking to her last night, she refused. She said she could do this and get the grade. Something about it not being like last time, so it shouldn't be that bad."

Kurt was doubtful of Quinn's confidence, but decided to let it slide for now. Moving up to where Dave was in line, they were just right behind Rachel and Brett. He could see that Rachel was still talking to Brett, despite his unresponsiveness for the past few minutes.

"—and that's why I believe that our child should start doing some exercises vocally, despite the fact that she will be a simulated baby, because I think that it will be a great experience on how I'm going to raise my child later on in life and teach her the ways I was able to work and improve on my performance at the tender age of seven months, because my dads believed that despite my already budding talent at six months old, I needed to be ready to win my first competition at eight months old, and of course I did—"

"Rachel, Brett, your baby." Rachel took the baby, continuing to ramble on as Brett merely stood there staring at Rachel's teeth. Looking down, Rachel's smile dimmed a little.

"It's a boy."

"Yes, Rachel, it is physically a boy by the standards that it has a penis."

"But I could have more emotional connection with a girl; I had already planned on naming her Barbra after Barbra Streisand! Although it very well be that my child could be transgendered, because I am not willing to just force my daughter into a gender that she may not actually be, and my two dads raised me to be the perfect picture of pride for all minority groups, and for that matter—"

"I couldn't care less what you're going to name the baby and why. Now take it and go." Rachel glared at Mrs. Wilkinson for a moment before storming to the back of the room with the baby. Brett seemed to realize the shiny gleam of Rachel's teeth were gone, and started to amble back towards here.

Finally, it was Dave and Kurt's turn to get their baby.

"Kurt, Dave, here's your baby." Kurt took the baby, cradling it in his arms for a moment as he looked down. The features were fairly realistic, the skin a creamy peach that Kurt supposed meant the baby was "white," or as Anglo-Saxon as a piece of plastic could be. Looking down, he saw that the baby was in fact a boy.

"Well, it looks like Conrad will work out perfectly," said Kurt with a grin.

"I guess so," said Dave, and picked up the car seat he had brought with him to school. Kurt deposited him into the carriage, and walked back to their seats. Kurt quickly started going through his backpack, pulling out a an outfit. Dave sat back, watching as Kurt carefully pulled the baby's arms through the arm holes, cradling the head. Finally, Kurt pulled back, straightening a bow tie.

"You're putting a bow tie on a baby?" asked Dave, looking at Kurt like he was crazy. "You do realize a real baby would probably strangle himself?"

"That's why it's so great that he isn't— he can be fashionable without the worry of choking or discomfort!" said Kurt with glee. "Besides, it's vintage; this is one of the bow ties my mother used to dress me in." Dave just looked at Kurt, not sure what to say to that. His mother dressed him like that…? No wonder the guy was so crazy about clothes- his mother had practically been brain washing his fashion sense from the womb.

"Well, whatever. As long as he's dressed, I guess," said Dave finally. The bell rang, signaling for the next class.

"I'll take Conrad for the day," said Kurt.

"Really? You're sure that's not a hassle?" Dave was trying to be nice, but he was so tempted to run out as fast as he could.

"Yes, I'm sure; I'll give him to you later." Not needing to be told twice, Dave gave Kurt a smile and walked out of the classroom.

"Dave, you're going to have to take Conrad after school." Dave looked over to Kurt who was holding the baby carriage, his hip cocked to the side to gain leverage on the heavy cargo.

"But I have football practice, how am I supposed to take care of it when I'm busy?" asked Dave, looking at Kurt with disbelief. Sure, he knew that Kurt taking the baby during school today meant he'd have to make up the time, but after school just wasn't a good time to be doing so.

"If I bring Conrad to glee club, he will cry nonstop. Have you seen Rachel Berry's baby? It starts wailing any time she speaks, can you imagine what a room of simulated babies would do if she starts singing? I'm shuddering at the possibilities." Kurt looked at Dave, pleading. "Please take him just for glee club. I promise after it's over, I'll come for him, and you can finish football practice."

Dave looked at Kurt, and then at the baby nestled in its carriage, weighing his options. After a moment, he sighed and shook his head. "Alright, I'll do it- but you better come right after glee club, because I just can't handle running around and dealing with the crying machine here." Kurt smiled, and made a happy noise that Dave classified as a squeal, but he wasn't going to tell Kurt that.

"Thank you so much, Dave! Here's the carriage, the diaper bag has the diaper, his bottle and anything else you might need!" Kurt set the car seat down, and handed over the bag that Dave swore was more expensive than the doll itself.

"Kurt, what is that bag? Is it really necessary?"

"David, I just got this beautiful Burberry belted shoulder bag for this very occasion! It matches the car seat your mother gave us perfectly, and I just can't say no to that. Now guard them with your life."

Dave looked from the bag to the baby. "Which one am I supposed to guard more?"

Kurt looked from the two objects, biting his lip. "It pains me to say this, but the baby. The grade is more important right now." Kurt looked up at Dave, giving him a stern look. "But if I see grass stains on that bag? There will be hell to pay, mister, so watch it."

"Okay, okay, calm down Mr. Fashion," teased Dave. "I promise to watch them both very carefully. I'll even take a bullet for them."

Kurt's lips quirked into a small smile. "See that you do. Now good luck on practice, I'll see you in an hour and a half!" Dave watched Kurt walk off to the choir room and then looked down to Conrad.

"Please don't mess with me during practice, okay? That's all I'm asking for."

"Karofsky! Get over here and quiet that squawker! It's louder than a peacock at a fox hunt!"

"That doesn't even make any sense," muttered Dave as he jogged off the field. The baby was crying like none other, and it was really frustrating him.

"Hey Karofsky, Hummel got you being the wife in the scenario? Never took him for a top, and you for a bottom!" called out Strando. The little shit was taking way too much pleasure out of this. He'd been making pointed comments all practice at him, Hudson and Evans the whole time, and it was really starting to piss Dave off.

"Shut up Strando, before I come over there and punch your face in," yelled Dave, still walking over to Conrad. Once he reached the baby, he picked it up as gently as he could in all his football gear. Sitting down on the bench, he held his wrist up to the baby's chest until he heard the beep signaling it recognized him.

"Crap, what do you want?" Dave asked Conrad, trying to bounce the baby on his perched knee. The baby continued to cry and Dave let out a frustrated grunt. He looked to the right, seeing the ridiculous bag Kurt had put all the baby stuff in, and rummaged around until he found the bottle. He stuck it in Conrad's mouth and started to hear the freaky sucking noise.

Strando had strolled over, leaving a good few feet between himself and Dave. "So what, you're not gonna have him breast feed? I hear it's so good for them to get mommy's milk," cooed Strando in a sickly voice.

"Shut up, Strando," said Dave through bared teeth.

"What're you going to do about it? You've got little Kurtsie Junior there to look after, while you sit here playing house."

"Hey Strando!" yelled Coach Beiste. "Quit yer yapping and get back to Burpees! You're still a sophomore; I can kick you off this team if you aren't up to snuff!" Strando rolled his eyes, but ran off to do the training.

Dave looked down at the baby in his arms, the sucking noises still going. "You're really not helping me, you know that? I really don't need this right now."

When Mercedes and Kurt had decided to hang out after school, the idea of caring for the babies had slipped their minds until they were actually at the mall pushing the strollers.

"I was not expecting this to happen to me for at least another ten years," said Mercedes as she watched people openly star at the two teenagers with their cargo. Mothers were glaring, as if it was some sort of crime to be pushing the little bundles around.

"Well, I certainly can tell you I've never really thought about this at all," replied Kurt as he sneered at a guy who shook his head at them. "I haven't got past the whole 'move to New York to be a star' part."

"Well, once you're there I'm sure you'll get all wrapped up in the city with its fashion and boys, babies are probably far from your mind," she teased, giving him a pointed look. "We both know you'll be swarmed with guys."

"It's so nice you think so highly of my flirting prowess, but I'm still planning on being with Blaine," said Kurt as he looked down to the baby, praying it wouldn't cry soon.

"Honey, I know you think you and Blaine will last forever, but think realistically for a minute." Kurt stopped pushing the stroller, and glanced over at Mercedes. "It's a high school romance, things like that don't last forever, especially first relationships."

Kurt stared at her, trying to think of the proper thing to say. "I know that statistically, it won't. But if I don't keep up my hope, it will never happen. I want us to stay together, and so I'm going to continue to think like that. Until the time that we break up, I'm going to think of us as inseparable."

Mercedes just smiled. "Oh boo, you can be so sarcastic and realistic, but when it comes to love? You're as sappy as they come."

"And never forget it," teased Kurt. "Now do you think the babies will stay quiet enough for us to go check out that sale at Forever 21?"