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An hour went by as Kazooie was listening to the radio, Lizzy was nearby reading the a book about bird aviation. For awhile now, Kazooie thought about the days she and Banjo had spent some time with each other. One thing she remembered was that they were playing the new Xbox 360 on a really old TV, the CRT TV (also known as the "boob" tube) was having trouble doing it's job. In fact, the Xbox proved to powerful on the old television set and it got to a point where a circuit inside the television literally blew from overheating.

She and Banjo jumped upon hearing the loud pop and seeing the smoke rise out of the TV, Banjo wisely sat the controller aside and pulled out the plug from the wall to prevent an electrical fire. He had put off buying a new TV for quite awhile, now the one they had defected they're forced to go out and buy a new one. Kazooie thought they might go out for another adventure, that hope soon faded when Banjo said, "Let's get a new TV, Kazooie."

Crap. Kazooie thought.

"Sure Banjo." said Kazooie.

She jumped into the blue backpack and the duo head off to the nearby store. Along the way, Kazooie vented her frustration by pecking at Banjo's head, precisely timed. He first shrugged it off, but after the 4th time he wringed her around the neck with his hand temporarily. That got her to stop for the time being.

As they past by several stores, such as a GameStop. The duo passed by one of the many stores associated with home construction, they recalled how much use they once were when they were rebuilding their house after Gruntilda's magic attack. Once all that's done, Pizza Hut and GameStop became the usual places to visit. It had been awhile since they went to the electronic's store, only recently they had put in a video game division.

Once they were at the store, it just so happened there was a 2% discount on TVs today. The new Liquid Crystal Display TVs were impressive, so impressive that they amazed anyone with eyes. When the duo head into the store, they saw every sized screen TV lined up across the wall. In other places of the store were DVD players, video cameras, wall phones, cell phones, GPS, computers, and MP3 players. The new video game section was at the other part of the store, which Banjo missed entirely. His mind had been set on a TV, not the usual games.

A red fox was working at one of the desks, he was wearing the red t-shirt uniform and a pair of black trousers. His shoes appeared to be black boots, army style. Make sense because there's a lot of terrain in the region. The fox's most impressive feature was his two bushy tails, it had been awhile since the duo had seen such bushy tails.

They approached the store clerk who was busy writing down information on a clipboard, he looked up and saw the two approached, Kazooie can tell the look on his face as recognition. "Banjo," said the fox, "My name is Mark Prower, its been awhile since I'd heard of you on the media."

"On occasion we could be on the evening news." joked Kazooie.

"I see that." said Mark.

"We're looking for a new TV," said Banjo, "The one we had died on us."

"It was the most unforgiving boob tube we ever had," said Kazooie, "It just had to die."

"Right this way, you two." said Mark.

Mark showed the duo many of the television sets on the wall, such as the 80 centimeter screen, the 100 cm screen, and the large 130 cm screen. There were even 3D TV screens and the so-called rimless TVs. Kazooie was impressed by the TVs, so impressed that she wondered what she'll look like on one of them. Banjo picked out the 100 cm Vizio LCD TV, though Kazooie opposed saying that they're "unrepairable." Nonetheless, her words fell on deaf ears. At times Banjo listened, and at times he doesn't.

Banjo managed to pay at least $60 dollars for the new TV, all in the while Kazooie had her head stuffed into the backpack. She wanted to insult the clerk, complimenting badly on his two tails, but since he didn't insult her, (which was a surprise), she kept her comments to herself.

Her friend carried the TV home, it was surprisingly lightweight. When Kazooie stuck her head out of the backpack, she noticed they were back home. "Well that was fast." said Kazooie.

"Definitely fast." said Banjo.

Kazooie did the honors of tossing out the old boob tube, she tossed it into the metal trashcan and slammed the lid on it. When she got back inside, Banjo was there hooking everything up, "Okay," he said, "Let's hope this works."

As Kazooie sat down in a chair, Banjo turned on the new TV. When it came on, it displayed the Vizio welcome screen. Well, that's new. Thought Kazooie.

After a few seconds, everything went downhill when the power in their house shuts off and the Xbox and HDTV shuts off. "I guess the fuse box can't take the power." said Banjo.

"It could have been worse," said Kazooie, "The fuse box could have-"

The fuse box itself, which was near the kitchen next to the new induction cook top, exploded. The panel door flew open and fire shot out of it like a dragon's breath. "Exploded." finished Kazooie.

"Ah crap!" cursed Banjo.

He quickly got up and nearly tripped over his chair in the process, Banjo rushed over to the old fire extinguisher and attempted to put out the fire with it. Kazooie was horrified when Banjo sprayed the fire with the water-based fire extinguisher and completed a circuit. He yelped as the electricity blast him and Kazooie to the moon in a ball of fire.

Kazooie screamed, when she opened her eyes she found Lizzy rushing towards her in shock. "It's only a dream Kazooie," said the green smurfette, "It was only a dream."

She pants before gulping, "Wow," said Kazooie, "Can you get electrocuted by spraying a live fuse box with a water-based fire extinguisher?"

"No," said Lizzy, "The blast is to powerful to provide a steady current."

Of course that last part didn't actually happened, there hadn't been a fire at all. Banjo simply got up and replaced the broken fuse and the two went on to playing their video games, had the stress of loosing Banjo and breaking her leg making her memories a bit fuzzy? But there was something else now causing her problems, she felt a lot of pressure in her behind, and it was becoming discomforting by the minute.

"I need to use the bathroom," said Kazooie, "NOW!"

"Alright, alright," said Lizzy, "I'll go get some green smurfs to help you, just stay calm okay?"

Lizzy ran off as Kazooie began to grown, Kazooie realized how painful her stomach feels. Her "stool" must be solid, it was constipation. She hadn't used the bathroom at all since Day 1, and now she was suffering the consequences. She spread out her wings and pressed her head against the pillow, it was more severe than she thought.

Lizzy soon came back, Jared, Chad, and Judd followed her from behind. Kazooie saw Chad's left eye was covered in bandages that were wrapped around his head, his punishment had been that bad after all. "Kazooie," said Chad, "Use your good leg as we get you outside."

"Come on," said Jared, "Work with us, birdy."

The green smurfs got on both sides and helped her up as Kazooie stood on her good leg, then she hobbled along as the green smurfs carried some of her weight out side. Once out into the fresh air, the green smurfs took Kazooie over to a white kiddie pool settled up just next to the tent. Kazooie couldn't believe how much her luck was against her. White, seriously? Might as well do her business in the bed than on something that could help identify droppings.

Kazooie's rear was placed over the kiddie pool as they help relax her weight on a metal drum barrel, "Okay Kazooie," said Lizzy, "Let it out."

Reluctantly, she tried her best to push out all the waste. But it was stuck in there good, and her bowels refused to budge. "When's the last time you had used the bathroom?" asked Chad.

"Before I left home." said Kazooie.

"No wonder," said Chad, "Judd, see if you can get her bowels unstuck."

"Okay." said Judd.

Judd put on some plastic gloves and laid underneath Kazooie's butt, she yelped as the fat green smurf stuck his index finger into her rectum. On other circumstances, she would have deemed it inappropriate. Feeling his finger deep into her rectum felt like a snake trying to burrow its way inside her, it was more uncomfortable than the constipation itself. She felt Judd dislodged something, and some air escaped out the anus. It smelled horrible, but it relaxed her a little bit.

"Her sh#t is solid," said Judd as removed his finger out of Kazooie's bum, "It's stuck in her good, we're going to need a clyster syringe."

"What's a clyster syringe?" she asked.

"Oh, you'll see."

He ran off to go fetch it, and after a couple of long agonizing minutes he returned with the clyster syringe. The size of it, not to mention it's looks, reminded Kazooie of an old style coffee pot. "Oh god." she said.

"Don't hurt her with it." said Lizzy.

"Don't worry," said Judd, "I've done this before, simple water will do the job just fine."

"But not on birds." noted Chad.

"Until today."

Judd carefully inserted the nozzle of the clyster into Kazooie's rectum and injected the water into her colon. She felt the pressure sharply increase, it felt odd and unnatural. Chad kept her tail up during the entire process, making it easier for Judd to perform the enema. "Okay," said Judd, "That's all of it, now we let it sit for awhile before-"

He was cut off when Kazooie expelled all of the contents in her colon, Judd yelped as he quickly got out of the kiddie pool as all the fecal matter that had been building up for days came shooting out like a pressure hose. It was the longest 10 seconds Kazooie had to endure until everything in her bowels were soon removed and was now steaming on the floor of the kiddie pool. Kazooie pants as Lizzy stroke her head, "All better?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Kazooie, "Everything's out."

"Get the hose so we can wash her butt off, Chad." said Jared.

"Okay, bro."

Chad picked up the nearby hose hanging off of it's water pipe and turned it on it let out a stream of water as he began to wash Kazooie's butt off, she felt relieved that the pressure was gone and felt everything relaxing inside her. She wished her broken leg would feel the same way. "Done," said Chad, "Her ass is clean enough to eat off of."

"I'll get a truck to haul all of this crap off," said Jared, "Let's get her back inside guys."

The green smurfs managed to get Kazooie back inside the tent and sat her back in her bed, she flopped onto it as Lizzy placed some blankets over her. "I'm sorry Kazooie," said Chad as he sat down on the bed and stroke her head, "I'm sorry for bringing you here, for everything."

"To come to think of it," said Kazooie, "If you hadn't kidnapped me, me and Banjo would have missed the Smurf Village entirely. Maybe the predatory creatures that lurked the dark might have finished us off for good, which means, I'm screwed either way."

"Had you been in rougher periods?"

"Yeah, I had. At least you did some good, how's your eye?"

"Strangely it doesn't hurt," said Chad, "Of course it hurt from the start, but not as much now since you're okay, and that what's matters."

Kazooie cracked a smile as she rested her head on her pillow, the music on the radio soon end and the all familiar Richard Reznov came yapping out of it, "Okay we got ourselves a missing person's report, a brown honey bear named Banjo, male, probably in his early thirties. He wears yellow shorts, a blue backpack, and a shark-tooth necklace. He might had suffered a head injury after he stuck his nose where it doesn't belong, if any green smurf is out in the forest or in the skies flying around, please keep an eye out. He is described as fat and lazy, so he shouldn't be that hard to find."

"That's how I would've described him," said Kazooie, "Never get's up in the morning."

All the green smurfs laughed, though a part of Kazooie felt bad for wisecracking about Banjo. She thought of how he was doing out there in the wilderness, Kazooie wondered if he was thinking about her. It wasn't the first time Banjo and Kazooie had been separated, she dare not think about the last time. Her objective was originally going to be finding the Smurf Village, now it shifted into finding Banjo, the Smurf Village would have to wait.

"Now I know you folks are wondering," continued Rick, "Your thinking, 'We keep hearing about Banjo and Kazooie almost every day now!' True, seems that our world has collided with theirs in some way. But hey, meeting new people is good, helps exchange new ideas you know. Any who, I am proud to tell you Green Smurf Colony that we just had a recent surge in the production of alcohol this week! Free moonshine and beer for all!"

"Ura!" cheered the green smurfs.

"What's moonshine?" asked Kazooie.

"A type of liquor traditionally made at night," said Lizzy, "It's like a party in a bottle."

Hmm... Thought Kazooie.

"Party in a bottle you say," said Kazooie, "You think you can get me a couple of bottles of that stuff?"

"Maybe," said Lizzy, "The stuff is a bit strong, may help numb the pain in your leg."

"Just get her the damn booze, sissy," said Chad, "Let her have some fun for awhile, this old bird had suffered enough."

"Well I suppose we could use it as pain killers," said Lizzy, "Oh, what the hell."

TO BE CONTINUED...