The apartment she's in is like the one in Season 3. Mostly because you can imagine the couch's back being turned toward the door. You'll get it later on. Enjoy.

They hate you. They don't want you around. You know they don't. They pretend too. You betrayed them. Emily shakes her head no as she stares at the pills. Her head hurts again. Lauren won't shut up.

"No. They don't hate me. I hate me. They want me here. I shouldn't leave them again." Emily says.

"Emily you never came back!" It was Derek's words this time. She closes her eyes. She just needs Lauren to stop speaking to her. He was right. You died in that warehouse. You aren't who you pretend to be. You aren't your old-self. She says. Emily bites her lip.

"I am. I just hurt more." she says. Do it...and I'll go away forever. We can see Ian together. He actually cares about you. When you were holding Declan in your arms as Ian died...Ian was staring at us too. He loved us...why can't you admit that? Lauren asks. Emily frowns.

"I...I don't...he loved us." Emily says finally admitting what she had dared not too.

Do it. We can be with him. Derek doesn't love you like Ian did. Lauren says. The whispers at work. My voice. Ian. Derek. Yourself. The pain. So many reasons. Why is it so hard? You've got nothing to lose. Lauren says.

"I...could.." Emily says looking at it. She poured about 8 into her hand. She sat down on her couch...in her robe, just staring. She wiped a tear away and heard another voice say What could it hurt? This time it wasn't Lauren's voice. The tone was different. Lauren wasn't afraid. Lauren was taunting her. Lauren was evil. This voice was weak. Broken. Vulnerable. She heard her own voice in her head. How do people do this though? A letter? Emily thought about it. The first thing she did was go to her closet. She got out the one thing she knew she wanted to die in. She slipped off her robe, and put underwear on. She slipped the jersey over her body, and let it hang down to her thighs. She smiled when she looked at it in the mirror. She wrapped her arms around herself, and held it close against her skin. Maybe she could get him to say it one more time...maybe she could. Maybe he would know. Maybe he would stop her. She bit her lip as she called him.

The phone rang on his side. Once. Twice. Three. Four. "Emily?" he asks. He is breathing hard. "Em?" she doesn't know what to say. The pills are in her hand.

"I..." she starts out. She doesn't know what to say. She didn't think this through. "Tell me you love me." she asks him. He sighs.

"I love you Emily Prentiss." he says easily. Tears come to her eyes.

"Forever?" she asks him weakly.

"Forever. What's this about?" he asks growing concerned.

"I just...Derek..." she whimpers. "Why did you make this so hard?" she asks. His heart beat speeds, and he finds himself putting pants on and grabbing his keys.

"Make what hard baby?" he asks her sadly. He prays to God that she stays on the phone with him.

"Nothing." Don't fall for it Emily! Don't do it! Lauren yells in a desperate attempt to stop what Derek is succeeding to do. The pain will never stop. Not while I'm around Emily! She quickly takes the phone, and hangs up. She cries for a minute and takes the pills in her hand. Good girl Emily. Come on. It'll be like falling asleep. One knock on her door. Fuck he's here. Do it Emily. Lauren yells at her. "NO! No. I can't do it. He's here. He came for me." Emily whimpers. Two knocks. Three.

"Emily open up!" Derek yells. He pounds on the door, and Lauren just screams at Emily. Emily doesn't want to listen. She wants to open the door. She wants to let Derek inside. She wants Derek to hold her. She needs Lauren, and her awful thoughts to go away. SHE doesn't want to kill anybody, but Lauren is blood thirsty. Revenge is at the top of Lauren's agenda. She just needs Lauren to go away forever.

Derek finds the key outside the door, and unlocks it quickly. He opens the door, and runs to Emily. She leaps into his arms, and drops the pills. Lauren didn't win this time. Emily did. "It was so stupid of me to make you feel this way." he says.

"You didn't. Lauren did." she cries. "She's who I talk too. It's really just me, but it's my bad thoughts. I'm sorry." Emily says. Derek holds her. He takes her pills away and throws them down to the ground. They hold each other a long while before moving. Derek pulls her down to him, and loves on her.

"Well, I'm here now baby. Forever." he whispers. She nods again. They lay down and cry for a long time. She curls into his chest and her wet tears are hot on his skin. She believes him now. She knows now. She can get better. She can get help. She doesn't have to be ashamed. Lauren can leave.


The next morning her eyes fluttered open, and she looks at her surroundings. Her apartment was cleaner than the night before. Her pills were put up. The wine was gone from the table. Sunlight filled the room because the windows were open. Her nose turned up at the smell of bacon, and pancakes. Her favorite pancakes. Fran Morgan pancakes. She slowly get's up from the couch, and turns around. Derek is cooking. She smiles a real smile, but then frowns at the thought of last night. Derek sees her. "Morning sunshine." he says. He takes the rest of the food off the skillet, and puts it on plates. He turns around, and bring her too him. "I know we have a lot to talk about. Let me just...hold you first." he says. She nods. They stay in an embrace for a long while. When he lets go they nod at each other. He gives them their plates and they sit down in the living room.

"How did you know what I was going to do?" she asks him. He looks down.

"You sounded...like you were giving up." he says a bit uncomfortable. "The words you were saying...I just knew. I'm glad I got here when I did though." he says. "I can't live with out you in my life Emily." he says. She nods.

"I don't know...I just...everywhere I turned it was all just...pain." she says. "Lauren wouldn't stop." she says sadly.

"Wasn't Lauren the name of your undercover alias?" he asks. She nods.

"I feel like we're two different people. She hates you all...but she loves him." She says sadly. "I love you though. I hate him. I just wish she would go away." Emily says.

"What does she say to you?" he asks curiously. Emily bites her lip and turns her head away from him.

"We're the same person though. That means that I think these things. It's all just a figment of my imagination." Emily says neglecting to give him an answer.

"You know...therapy would help." he says. She looks at him and nods.

"I know...I just...it's a hard thing to do." she says. He nods.

"I know, but I can tell you aren't going to talk to me about it. I don't blame you for it. A therapist can help you though." he says. She nods. "Want me to help you find one?" he asks. She shrugs, but then looks at him.

"Actually...I kinda want to...talk to someone else about who to go to." she says. "I can't really afford therapy...I may have to ask him to fund that too. I know mother won't." she says. "I just want it to stop Derek." she says sadly. She doesn't sound as broken...vulnerable. In fact she doesn't even sound like she's on the verge of tears. Mostly just...accepting. Accepting of what she has to do to get better. Derek takes her plate, and puts it on the table. He pulls her to his chest, and she puts her head in his neck.

"Do you want to be with me? Really with me. Not just...sex. I want love. I want to take you out. I want to treat you like the wonderful woman you are. I wanna do this right." he says. She smiles, and nods.

"I would love that." she says. He leans down and kisses her. "How did I get here?" she asks. "Just last night I was at rock bottom." she says. She knows she should tell him about the hospital...about the baby...she can't though. He might never want to look at her again...she just got him back.

"Maybe that's just what you needed." he says softly. She smirks, and cuddles closer to him. "I've been in love with you for five years." he says. She smiles.

"Me too." she says. "You said you wanted a big house with kids, and a dog...I don't think I can give you that though." she says sadly. She waits for a snarky remark from Lauren, but it never comes.

"Why's that?" he asks. She bites her lip.

"I...I...the wooden...stake it got my internal organs. There is a 35% chance of me having a child...and an even less chance at me carrying one to full term." she says. "I already talked to a doctor about it." He explained things to me after I mourned the loss of our unborn child. "He told me that because of that, and the abortion...there is complications with my reproductive system." she says.

"Abortion?" he asks. She nods, and sits up.

"Might as well tell you." she says. "When I was...15, I was so alone. I started to talk to someone, and he got me pregnant. I...the guy from a few years back, Matthew Benton, he helped me out. The uh, guy never called me again." she says. "I was only fifteen and he was...older than me. Much older." she says. Derek looks at her sadly.

"How much older?" he asks. She shrugs, and get's uncomfortable.

"Derek...let's not..." she says. He puts a hand on her arm.

"How much older baby?" he asks. She bites her lip.

"He was 25." she says. "He lived at the boathouse down the road. He...just...he had a big house, and mom was never home." she shrugs. "I never had a boy like me like that before. It was just...confusing. I was really stupid." she says. He shakes his head no.

"You were just young." he says as he pulls her close.

"I developed a drug habit though. That's why whenever Reid was going through his thing after getting kidnapped. I helped him out. I had some issues with some pretty hardcore drugs. He caught me the last case snorting something." she says.

"We all have rough pasts." he says curling up with her again.

"Somehow mother never caught me before..." she says. Derek laughs.

"Yeah...but she sure got good at catching you when you're an adult." he says. Emily smiles as she remember's the time her mother decided to visit her.


"Derek..." she says as she's on top of him yelling out his name. She groans, and her lip goes in between her teeth. They're on her couch. Music is playing, but she can't hear it. Derek's lips are on her, and she is moving fast above him. Her phone is vibrating against the table, and Emily can't hear it. She laughs as Derek does something. She feels herself getting closer, and closer. She let's out a scream just as the door to her apartment opens. She convulses, and her mother's jaw drops. All Elizabeth can see is her daughter, naked, screaming...the rest of the couch blocks whomever she is with. Elizabeth goes pale, and turns around quickly. When Emily notices her she goes pale and yells in horror. "MOTHER!" She accidentally moves sideways and falls off the side of the couch. Unfortunately for her, her legs are still wrapped around Derek's waist. Dragging him with her.

"Oh my God. Please tell you are hallucinating and you did not just see your mother." she bites her lip, and he groans. He moves out of her and they cling the couch blanket to their bodies. Emily pops her head from behind the couch, and blushes hard.

"Mommy. What are you doing here?" she asks. She never calls her mom, mommy...unless she was getting ready to be in trouble.

"Well...I just came to visit. Thought you may want to...come eat lunch with me." she says with out turning to look at them.

"Oh. Well...two minutes? We can talk...about...lunch." Emily says. Elizabeth nods. Derek takes the blanket with him upstairs, and starts a long shower...a very long shower. Emily put's her pajamas back on. Well...the tank top and sweats she was wearing before Derek ripped them off of her. Emily bit her nails and thanked God nothing was on her couch. She sprayed febreeze though, out of pure embarrassment, and went to make some tea. "You can...turn around now." Emily somewhat whispers. Elizabeth turns around, and sees her daughter. She looks around for the man her daughter was with, but doesn't see him. "He's showering...he'll probably be there for a long time." Emily says. Elizabeth nods then she smirks a bit.

"I just caught my daughter having sex with her..." Elizabeth furrows her brow. "Actually...what is he?" she asks. Emily blushes.

"A friend." she says. Elizabeth smirks and shakes her head.

"Um...that doesn't look like a normal activity for friends." she says with a light chuckle.

"Well...that's the only thing about our friendship that isn't friends...he's not my boyfriend or anything." Emily says. Elizabeth nods.

"Oh. So it's THAT kind of friendship." Liz says.

"You really should've called." Emily says.

"I did! Was it the music or the...activities that made you not hear the phone?" she asks. Emily blushes again. Just then feet pad down the stairs. Derek is standing there in his jeans.

"I'm sorry...my shirt was down here." he says coughing a bit. Elizabeth smirks a bit when she sees who it is...and how impressive he is. He picks it up, and put's it on. He walks toward Emily, and kisses her quickly. "I'll call ya later." he says. The awkwardness of the situation.

"What's your name?" Elizabeth asks. "We've met before." she says. Derek nods.

"Derek Morgan..." he says. Her jaw drops.

"Agent Morgan?" she turns to Emily and looks at her in surprise. "Agent Morgan? Really...Agent Prentiss?" she says with a smile. She laughs as Derek walks out.

"I apologize for what you saw ma'am." he says. He then walks out the door, and Elizabeth turns to her daughter.

"What are you thinking Emily? I mean...I saw him, and trust me I'm not judging you for breaking the rules, but really?" she says laughing. Emily laughs too.

"Well it just happened one night, and...we kind of have had no self-control after that first time." she says. "He's my best friend though." she says with a laugh.

"I can tell you have no self-control. I am not oblivious to the fact my daughter isn't a nun, but please...keep it in the bedroom, or start chaining the door because I never want to see you...doing what you were doing...ever again." she says with a half-serious look. "I will definitely stop coming by unannounced also. Now, do you want to come out to lunch with me?" she says. Emily laughs.

"Let me get ready." she says. Elizabeth nods.

"I ran into David at the store, and he invited us over for dinner tonight. Do you want to come? Or are you going to be entertaining company again?" Liz asks with a laugh.

"David? Now mother...you know I don't trust you two alone." Emily says with a laugh.


Emily is brought back to the real world when she feels Derek shift from underneath her. She laughs. "What are you thinking about?" he asks. She smiles.

"The time mother caught us having sex on my couch..." Emily says laughing. She turns around and straddles him. "That was a fun day." she says with a laugh.

"For you maybe. I was freaking horrified. My lovers mother caught us on the couch. I was so scared that you all would fight or something and she'd tell Strauss or something. I know they sometimes have lunch." he says holding onto her hips.

"Well, at least you had awesome sex before you got to leave." she says with a chuckle. He smiles too. He brushes some hair out of her face, and kisses her. She bites his lip, and puts her tongue in his mouth. He kisses her for a minute before tearing his lips away. She pulls back and looks at him in confusion. "Why'd you stop?" she asks. He smiles up at her, and runs his fingers through her hair.

"Because...I was thinking we should wait." he says with a small smirk.

"Why?" she asks slightly disappointed.

"Well...we're a couple now, and...I think if we wait then it'll mean more when we do it again." he says. "I mean...it was always meaningful every other time, but I want to be like a real couple. I don't want to rush this." he says. She laughs.

"Five years isn't rushing it." she smirks. He laughs too.

"Well yeah, but I waited too long to blow it. I wanna do this right...if it works out, then you'll be mine forever." he says. She smiles too, and looks down.

"You're so sweet." she says. "I noticed...Lauren doesn't talk to me when you're around." she says. Derek smiles a bit.

"That's good. Even though we aren't sleeping together I thought maybe we could still share a bed. I like to hold you." he says nuzzling her neck. She nods.

"I like that too Derek." she says.

"Good princess." he says kissing her head. "Good." She finally felt like she was free from all the burdens she felt. He still didn't know about the baby, but that was fine. She didn't want to hurt him. She already endured that pain, and she didn't want him to go through that either.

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!