Title: Do you believe in Heaven? Chapter 7
By: FanofRandy
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions
Summary: On the scene of a rescue, Johnny is asked a question that he is unsure how to answer. But, by the time all is said and done, he knows the answer for himself. NOTE: Based on the song "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan (I know the song was not written until 1997..but, come on, this is all fiction, right?)
WARNING: the topic of child molestation and sexual abuse is touched upon in this story.
They broke through…the stairs were miraculously clear. They made their way down to the basement which had become a tomb for at least two people that day. Cap called in two Code F's and One Code I. Chet and Roy had to actually PRY Erin from Johnny's arms. Though he was unconscious, Johnny was not going to let Erin go. A yellow blanket was put over her small frame before she was carried out on a stokes. Roy got busy assessing Johnny. He was surprised that Johnny had actually given a pretty accurate account of his injuries…except for a large laceration on his right shoulder that was still bleeding freely. By the amount of blood pooling, it looked like it may begun to clot until Johnny took off his turnout coat to put it over Erin. He had lost a lot of blood, but he would certainly live to see another day.
As they loaded him on the stretcher, his hand opened and something fell from it. In all the commotion to get Johnny to the hospital and end this horrible nightmare, it seemed that no one noticed a small white hair ribbon falling to the ground.
Dr. Brackett was ready for the worst. Roy had been providing updates on Johnny and Erin's condition. They were all devastated at the Base Station when Roy radioed in that Erin had died. They had all hoped that BOTH Johnny and Erin would live through this day. Johnny was wheeled into Trauma Room 3. Short work was made of his clothing and he was washed down and injuries once again assessed. Dr. Brackett ordered a full skull series…knowing Gage it was best to be certain; x-rays of the left shoulder and a full spine series to be safe. He called in one of the best Orthopedic doctors to set Johnny's shoulder.
Dr. Brackett knew that they would be able to fix all of Johnny's injuries—at least the physical ones. What this had done to Johnny emotionally and mentally would be another story. He did not wish anything like this to happen to his worst enemy, let alone this young man he considered to be a friend. Yes, Johnny would have scars…but, unfortunately, most of them would be hidden.
The next day, there were 20 or 30 firemen at Rampart waiting to hear news about Johnny Gage. They were told that he was stable and had been assigned to a private room. However, he was not receiving visitors, other than family, until he regained consciousness. "There was no reason for Johnny to be asleep" Roy thought to himself. The sedatives they gave him when they put in the sutures had worn off hours ago and there was no apparent head injury. If Johnny wasn't awake, it was because he did not want to be awake. Roy had heard of it before, in VietNam…they called it "hysterical coma". Those guys had been through hell and their brains just did not want to wake up to the reality of it all. Who could blame them? Who could blame Johnny? They had only listened to the last conversations he had with a dying little girl…Johnny had actually LIVED it. Who could blame him for not wanting to wake up?
The men of Station 51's A-Shift were Johnny's family. They sat by his bed in a vigil…never letting him be alone. It was 2:30 in the morning and Mike Stoker was "on duty" when Johnny first woke up. His eyes fluttered and he shifted in bed. Mike scooted closer to the bed and took Johnny's right hand in his. "Hey, Johnny, you back with us?" Johnny turned his head to Mike and smiled a crooked smile. This told Mike that Johnny was going to be okay…somehow, some way; Johnny would make it through this.
"Hey, Mike. How you doin'?" he choked out. Mike brought a cup of water to Johnny's lips and he took one sip and then another. "How long have I been here?" Johnny asked. "Three days" was the answer. Johnny closed his eyes again, pushing past the pain, he took a deep breath, "Mike, do you believe in Heaven?"
Mike had heard the men talking about the words they heard exchanged between his friend and, Erin…he knew what Johnny was asking and why…he waited to reply…Johnny continued, "She asked me if I believed in Heaven, Mike. I told her I did. After I picked her up and began rocking her, something came over me and I just felt so tired. I did not want to go to sleep, but I couldn't fight it any longer. I opened my eyes and there was this bright light. I thought at first it was one of the guys searchin' for us…a flashlight beam or something. But, the more I let my eyes adjust; it was just this bright light that was all around me.
I looked down and she was still in my arms. Erin was still in my arms. It was like she wasn't dead, but only sleeping. I felt her body next to my chest and she actually felt warm, Mike. She felt warm. I just knew I was dreaming when this voice broke the silence. It was a voice I cannot describe…it said, 'Give her to me'. I did not know what to do…I felt compelled to do as I was told, but I was afraid, too. The voice said it again and then these two arms reached out of the light and the voice said, 'Give her to me. You did your job. Now it's time to put her in my arms where she belongs.' What do you think of that, Mike? Do you think that was Heaven?" Johnny stopped talking and took a deep breath again.
Mike looked at his friend. They had not talked much about religion—in fact they all stayed away from talks of politics, religion and money (well, mostly). But, Mike, seeing that his friend needed something to hold onto continued…"Yes, Johnny, I do believe in Heaven. I think Heaven is a place with no pain, no tears and a place where we will feel love for all eternity." Johnny smiled at the thought. He continued his dream/vision story, "Mike, when I put Erin into the arms…she woke up. She opened her eyes and I saw her totally transform. The dust and soot disappeared. The head wound was healed. And, she was dressed in this beautiful white gown with white ribbons in her hair. I felt that I had done the right thing by placing her in those arms…I just raised my hand to caress her cheek and then she was gone. I thought I felt something in my hand, but I could feel the light fading and I could hear other voices I recognized—Roy, Chet, you and Cap…and, then it all went away. Whatdya' think it means, Mike? Why was I able to save her, only to have her slip away and die anyway?"
Mike had picked something up that night. He did not know why. But, he kept it in his coat pocket. He looked at his friend whose eyes were brimming with tears and said, "Johnny, we cannot understand why things happen sometimes—you, of all people should know that. But, sometimes, Johnny, we are given glimpses into the "why's" and it changes us. Maybe Johnny, you were sent to Erin to show her that there are men who can care for her and keep her safe in this world so that she could feel safe as she passed from this life into the next. Maybe, Johnny, Erin was sent to you…so you could know the unconditional love a child could have just for you. Johnny, that night, when they got you on the stretcher…everyone was buzzing around you and when they loaded you into the ambulance, I saw something on the ground. It was the smallest of somethings—easily overlooked—but, I picked it up. And, now, hearing your 'dream', I know why. Here Johnny, I think this is for you." Mike pulled from his pocket and handed Johnny a small white hair ribbon. Johnny took it is his hand and remembered how it had fallen from her hair as he brushed his hand across her cheek one last time…He knew what he believed now and he had not lied to Erin. He did believe in Heaven, and he now believed in angels, too.
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here.
Author's Note: This was a cathartic journey for me…I work with hurting people every day and sometimes I just think they need to be held and rocked like little children in their mothers' arms. I pray that the "religion" stuff does not turn anyone off. I am a Christian, and believe in Heaven and Hell. This will come out in my stories—it is part of who I am. Please accept me for me and I will do the same for every one of you. Peace and grace.
