Author's Note: Wow... I'm moving pretty fast! I'm such a quick updater! -ignores jeering and holds head high- I'm once again pleased with this chappie... it's the longest ever!! -grins stupidly- Amazing how I could write so much about Crowfeather and so little for Feathertail. Might not seem good for some, but I wrote it while trying my best to know how Crowfeather would feel. Perhaps I'm able to write a lot because I really love Crowfeather's love life!!!!

You Healed My Wounds

Is it possible that there is such thing as double love? Of course there is, but the real question is that is it possible to have double love?

Feathertail was my world. I had to protect my world; without her, I can't live anymore. Each time she got into trouble, I would be there for her. She's everything to me. Only she has the key to my heart.

She entered my heart ever so easily, just like that. No struggles or difficulties. I had thought my heart was impossible to break through; never would I think a certain she-cat would pass through like it was made of air.

But she did.

Just when I felt I couldn't be happier, she had to leave. At the one time where she needed my protection the most, I wasn't there. When her spirit left her body, it left my heart too, shattering it on the way out.

Even though I knew she would always be watching me from StarClan, nothing would ever be the same. I wished I was the one in StarClan watching her.

I breathed in deeply and summoned all the courage I've got. "Feathertail."

Feathertail looked up, her eyes shining. "Yes?"

Her eyes bore deep inside me, sending my heart into a frenzy of hard thumping. I was speechless.

Feathertail's eyes clouded with worry. "Is there anything wrong Crowpaw?"

I shook my head in frustration. What an idiot I am. "I want to say… err… I mean, you—I…" I mentally slapped myself. Just a look from Feathertail and I'm jittery all over.

Feathertail touched her nose to mine, sending a shiver from the spot she touched all the way to my tail. "Crowpaw. You can tell me anything." With her eyes glowing in amusement, she added. "You might not get the chance to. In this journey, anything can happen."

Suddenly startled at the thought of losing her, I reached out and brushed my cheek against hers. "Feathertail," I whispered softly. "Don't die before me."

Feathertail pulled back, meeting my gaze. Her blue eyes were puzzled yet filled with something else as well. "Wha—"

"Promise?" I interrupted, not wanting her to ask awkward questions.

Feathertail's puzzlement faded and she purred gently. "I promise."

I recalled how selfish I had been. I'd actually give Feathertail the pain of losing the cat she loves. But I said it because I knew I wouldn't be able to bear the pain of losing her. And yet… she had not been able to fulfill her promise to me.

You promised, Feathertail… I felt myself shake all over again. The memory of her silver fur, glowing eyes and gentle personality made my heart cry out again. I thought nothing would ever be the same again, and that my heart would never beat fast or that I would feel the familiar warmth in my chest and the common tingle down my spine that had become extinct.

And then… she came.

Her short tabby fur and amber eyes were so very different from Feathertail. She wasn't even a proper warrior yet, just merely an apprentice. A medicine cat apprentice, to be more precise. Of all the forest, tribes and Clans that exists, she had to be in this forest, in ThunderClan, traveling with us. Perhaps it was fate.

How could I have fallen for her in such a short time? Why is it that my gaze was always drawn to her? Why is it that the fast beating heart and that feeling has returned? Why is it that love had to trap me of all cats again?

The thing that draws me to her the most was her personality. It was so similar to Feathertail's. I was furious with myself for falling for another cat so soon after Feathertail's death. That's why every time I see her, I felt like yowling at her: Leave me alone! Why do you keep invading my head?

I didn't, of course. I would have been thought of as crazy. I'm so sorry Feathertail. I tried, I really did! I tried to love only you. But I can't help it. Trying to keep away from Leafpaw is a torture and it's driving me crazy.

The only thing left for me to do is to follow my own heart. I won't deny I didn't want to have that feeling again. It was the best feeling I could ever wish for; even grieving for Feathertail was a blessing in disguise. I never thought I would actually grieve so strongly for a cat, or feel so strongly for her.

Wait. When did I start thinking positive? Just the day before I was mourning over Feathertail, and today, I was thinking how lucky I was to have met Feathertail. Again, I found my gaze traveling to the medicine cat apprentice. Could it really be because of her?

My heart skipped a beat, just like it always does with Feathertail. I couldn't tear my gaze off her. It was just like the time when I fell for Feathertail. Fortunately, I was alert enough to see her head beginning to turn and I jerk away as fast as I can. She didn't know.

As I prepared for my patrol, my fur bristled under the medicine cat's blue gaze. I wished I could meet her gaze squarely but I knew how much the consequences would be if I loved her. Yet I still did.

When she came over to WindClan territory moons later, I couldn't be more surprised. Why was she here? I thought, alarm building up inside me. If any of my Clanmates or even Onewhisker happens to see how I act around her, I would be in deep trouble. I felt almost angry at Leafpaw. She entered my heart without permission and awakened my deepest emotions which had slept ever since Feathertail died. It's like I've got heart problems and now all I can think of is Leafpaw.

I watched her heal our elders. She was so gentle and caring, her skills so well-mastered. Although I stubbornly kept a hard front, my heart was aching with love and pride…? Since when did I start feeling proud of her actions?

It was almost as if Onewhisker was giving me chances to get close to Leafpaw, sending me to help and escort her. It took all my strength to just stay a fair distance away from her.

Our fur brushed by accident. A little accident. But it sent shivers all over my body. I wanted so badly to press my fur against hers, but I did the obvious opposite, leaping back. The mere thought of my brushing against her made my heart lift inside me and I would purr like I had received the best gift ever.

It was tough enough for me, without having Leafpaw, Leafpool now, to bring out the memory of Feathertail's death. When she was clinging on that cliff, every sense was screaming at me to save her. But all I could see in my head was Feathertail. How she fell to her death. I'm sorry, Feathertail… I failed to save you…

It was that light voice in the wind that snapped me out of my trance.

Crowfeather… save her. Don't let her end up like me.

I lunged forward to grab her scruff. I felt myself slid further down, and images of Leafpool's death clouded my mind. In fact, it gave me courage and I pulled her up.

I collapsed on the ground, exhaustion overwhelming me. Not the exhaustion of pulling another cat up, the exhaustion of fighting with my own mind. I felt more confident than I had felt after Feathertail's death. The fact that she appeared right before me at that moment showed that she approved of my new love.

I still didn't know who I was thinking of when I saved Leafpool. Was I imagining her as Feathertail? I felt confused yet again.

"I must be the last cat you would want to save." I blinked, letting myself drown in her gaze. Is that really what she thinks?

"Is that what you think?" I answered bitterly, my feelings blinding me. "Don't you know how I feel about you? And how much I hate myself for feeling that way about another cat so soon after Feathertail's death?" Fresh grief rose inside me but I swallowed it back, forcing myself to finish this sentence. Unfortunately, it came out the wrong way.

"I loved her, I really did. How can I love you too?"

"Me? But—"

"You walk in my dreams, Leafpool," I finished, my heart thumping hard. My head spun with the realization that I had just made a confession. It must be shocking for the medicine cat.

But she didn't look shocked, just sad.

However much it pained me to know I had fallen for the wrong cat again, and that we were breaking the warrior code to be together, I feel no guilt. I didn't even know if she returned my feelings; she hasn't said a word that hinted she loved me too, but I didn't care anymore. I would let my feelings and my heart control me.

Leafpool is a true medicine cat in my eyes. She even had the correct herbs to help me. Her love is the only herb.

Because when Leafpool entered my heart, she healed it on the way.

A/N: Review or I won't write the next chappie -pouts- Just kidding... but will gladly appreciate reviews! I hope this story doesn't seem long and boring to you! -squeals- I really love what I made up about Crowy, when he said don't die before me. I think that sentence is cute!