Ro Ro's Potion

Wednesday, October 19th

6:30 am

Wow this is weird. I never wake up this early! Owww my legs hurt. I ran after Dave like a loony yesterday and never caught up to him. So I gave up. I used my glaciosity approach by not trying to look for him. It usually gets him to crawl back.

10 minutes later

Straightening hair because I have so much time. This also does a vair good job of covering up my love bite. I think I'll call it a Dave sensor from now on.

15 minutes later

My hair looks pretty bloody great if you ask me. Now for makeup… I've got to put on natural make up so Hawkeye doesn't freak.

30 minutes later

Natural makeup is done. All I've used is my new chocolate lippy, cover up, blush, and 9 coats of mascara. I look natural without trying too hard.

7:30 am in the Kitchen

Libby is downstairs eating cereal. This is a miracle! We actually have food in the house. I was so happy about this until I saw Mutti wearing an apron with her nungas all over the place.

"Georgia, I want you to eat a lot from now on like Dr. Clooney said."

"Mutti, I love eating! I wouldn't be so vair skinny if you went grocery shopping more often."

"Shut up Georgia! You know I hate food shopping, but that's all fixed now since we hired a personal food shopper."

A vair gorgey man walked into the kitchen. "Connie, is this good for today?" Oh my jelloid knickers I think I feel the horn about to blow!

"Yes, Jason you've done a wonderful job picking out food. Thank you so much. We'll see you next Wednesday with more food. I'll give you my number just in case."

Of course Mutti would give him her number. She's too old for him. He's left now. "Oh Georgia don't give me that cold stare. He's not into girls anyways." He's gay? Wow and I thought I was getting the horn.

8:15 am

Just finished eating delicious chocolate chip pancakes when the door bell sounded. "Gee, Dave's here to walk to school with you hurry up!"

10 seconds later

Walking out of the door to walk with Dave. He's gorgey, so fit. Why did I ever like a homosexualist hand bag Italian instead of him?

8:20 am

Walking to Jas' with Dave. We're holding hands and walking. I told him about the gay food man. He laughed like a loony. I don't know why he thought it was so funny I thought a gay man was gorgey.

"Kittykat, the homosexual with the handbag and now this. I'm sorry to say I'm not on the turn. "

"Ah but Dave you're still gorgey."

"I know sex kitty. That's why you can't keep your hands off of the biscuit"

"Don't be so vain Dave. There are better looking boys out there."

"Hmmm maybe. But, are there better lib nibblers out there?"

And with that he pushed me into a bush, but I pulled him with me so we both fell in. Lib nibbling extravaganza here we come!

8:40 am Jas' house

"You're late," Miss prissy knickers announced.

"We were otherwise detained Jas. I'm sure you can understand that," Dave smirked.

Jas didn't find that funny and huffed off. "Nice new love bite by the way Gee."

"Dave, I'm going to strangle you," I shouted but it was too late. He ran off towards Foxwood yelling, "At least everyone knows you're mine now. I've given you the biscuit trademark tattoo!"

Assembly

Rosie told me that she found a cure for the love bite on her stomach and that she'll help me get rid of mine. I'm going to hers after school. Let's just hope this "cure" doesn't involve fish.

2:00 pm

Forty-five years of being cooped up at Stalag 14 interrupted by only two Jammy Dodger breaks. This day official reeks of Libby's pooey nappies. At least this morning in the bush was fun.

4:00 pm On the Way to Rosie's

I can't wait to get this love bite off. People have been giving me strange looks all day. I could also hear "tart" and "tramp" a couple times.

4:30 pm Rosie's

Rosie's parents are never home. No wonder she's always highest on the snogging scale. As soon as we got into her house she rushed into the kitchen.

10 minutes later

She's putting stuff into a blender. So far I've seen water, milk, sugar, Vaseline, oatmeal, and ice go in there.

5 minutes later

Oh! Now she added fish. Of course I knew she would. Typical Rosie.

1 minute later

"Rosie, I'm not drinking that."

"Of course you don't drink it silly! You just put it on the love bite like lotion."

20 minutes later

I have this sick, sticky goo on my neck. It smells really bad too.

"Rosie, how long does this stuff stay on for?"

"An hour give or take."

Ewww I have to keep this on for an hour?

"To pass the time you can tell me how the whole Dave fandango is going."

1 hour later

I spilled the whole story to Rosie. I told her how Dave told me to give him until Friday. How he acts like nothing is wrong at all. I also told her how at certain points he just freaks out.

"Gee, he might act like nothing is wrong, but you have to let him know you're not ok with his mood swings."

Wow that's deep for Ro Ro

20 minutes later

Rosie washed the icky potion off of me and… IT WORKED! No more love bites.

"Thanks Ro Ro. I love you!"

"Gee, I'm not on the turn, but you can give me a Viking hug."

I hugged Rosie, but as part of a Viking hug you have to shout, "Jah!" when you hug a person.

10:00 pm

The loons are out at one of Uncle Eddie's shows. Libby is being babysat by Cousin James. I have the house to myself. This is nice. I'm so tired ZZZzzzzzzz