Hello my lovely readers! As promised, here is the next chapter of HSIII!
I just wanted to start by saying thank you to all of my readers and reviewers! I recently had a reviewer go back and leave a review for all of the chapters they missed. I wanted them to know how much that meant to me. :)
And all of the wonderful reviews I received for the previous chapter...I just...wow...thanks! You all rock! :D
So here is the next chapter! Please enjoy!
Previously...
"Goodnight, Haruhi...I love you." Kyoya told her as he led her to the bed.
Haruhi did not say anything in response but when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her head into his neck, he knew the feeling was reciprocated.
Kyoya left her alone and made his way back downstairs. Tomorrow, he would have to try to feed her. It was unhealthy for her not to eat regularly. And now that she had decided not to talk for an undetermined amount of time, Kyoya was becoming even more worried.
And now...
Haruhi
As soon as Kyoya closed the door, Haruhi reached over to her bedside table and pulled out the papers her father had left for her. She quickly changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed, burrowing into her covers.
Haruhi curled into a tight ball and opened the envelope again. She pushed the important-looking papers aside and focused on her father's multi-page letter.
"My dearest Haruhi:
It is with a heavy heart that I am writing this letter to you. I never thought it would get this bad, but I see no other choice. I want to start off by telling you that I am so incredibly sorry. I know that sorry will not atone for what I am about to do, but I cannot say anything else. Nothing I can say will make up for what I have done.
I have neglected you for so long, because I did not want you to suspect anything. I thought that if I pushed you away, you would not see that I was falling apart inside. But you were always like your mother. You could always tell when something was wrong. I don't know how you did it, but you knew that something was eating me up. And I am eternally sorry that I did not open up to you more.
I know that I am leaving you alone in this cruel world, and I know that it will not be easy to get back on your feet. But you need to know that your mother and I are so amazingly proud of you. We could not have had a finer daughter to raise. You are an amazing and smart young woman, my beautiful daughter, and I know that you will do so many wonderful things in your life.
About that man you are dating...don't let him go. I want you both to know that I give you my blessing when he finally pops the question. He would have asked anyway, so I think it only fair that I leave you two with that. He has been warned of the consequences of breaking your heart, so never fear, Haruhi dear! Kyoya will take care of you while you are picking yourself back up; this I know for a fact.
Your "son" will also help you out along the way. He holds a similar pain in his heart, and the two of you will no doubt become very important to each other in the aftermath of my decision. Please take care of him, and try to make sure he doesn't turn out an Ice King...
I know that you probably have a lot of questions and are at least a little bit upset with me for making such a decision. I know that what I have done will probably hurt you for a very long time, but I needed to do it. It has been such a long time since I've seen your mother's smiling face. You really are the spitting image of her, you know? Every time I look at you, it is like looking at her. I just could not do it anymore…I am so sorry, my sweet Haruhi. I cannot go on without her anymore.
For the past few months, I have been feeling very out of sorts. The doctor tried to give me medication to ease the pain, but it never really went away. I wish I could have told you this while I was still there with you...you may have been able to help me from the very beginning. But I did not want to worry you.
Haruhi, I want you to know that I will always love you so very much. Even though I cannot be there to hold you and kiss you goodnight anymore, I will always be there in your heart. Please do not blame yourself, Haruhi. And please do not be upset with yourself. You just reminded me so much of your mother...in a good way, I swear it.
You are a wonderful woman, and I would not like to see this break you. Trust me when I say that it was never my intention to hurt you. I simply could not be without my one true love any longer. She and I were never far apart when she was alive, and the fact that I could no longer wake up to her face made me spiral into a deeper depression than when she first passed.
Your mother and I will always be watching over you and keeping you safe. We both love you very much, Haruhi. We want to see you succeed and get into law school. We want to see you get married and eventually have children of your own. But above all, my dearest daughter, we want to see you live.
I do not want you to take your life or your health because of all of this. Please turn to Kyoya and Isamu-chan...do not let this take your life. Do not sacrifice the life you have over this. Your mother and I love you so very much, but we do not wish to see you so soon…
Always remember, my lovely Haru-chan, that none of this is your fault. You are the most amazing daughter a man could ever ask for, and I do hope that you forgive me for being such a terrible father and not being there for you. It was difficult to try to be both a father and a mother when your dear mother died…I'm afraid I failed to be either…
And make sure that Isamu gets the letter I wrote to him. It should be in your envelope. Make sure that he does not blame himself either…I will have been another loss to him in his young life. Take care of him, Haruhi…he loves you so much.
I love you so very much, Haruhi…never forget that.
There should be a flash drive…or a thumb drive…or whatever it is you kids call those things…in that envelope. It is a recorded version of this so that you will always be able to listen to my voice if you desire.
If you are going to be angry with anyone about all of this, please be angry with me. Let those who are trying to help you, help you. Don't do what I did. Don't push them away.
My darling daughter, I do hope that you listen to the recording I made…it may take some time before you are able to do so, but I would love it if you would.
I love you forever, Haruhi Fujioka. Never forget that.
With love from your cowardly father,
Ryoji "Ranka" Fujioka"
By the time Haruhi was through reading the letter, she had tears streaming down her face. He was right about several things. For starters, she was incredibly mad at her father. To Haruhi, her father had not considered the outcome for her. She was an orphan now, and she could easily become part of the system. She would not be able to stay with the Ootoris forever.
Haruhi knew that no matter how many times she heard or read her father's apologies, she would never be able to fully forgive him. Did he not understand that she missed her mother as well? They could have tried to work through it together so that neither of them had to go through the pain alone. Granted it had been several years since her mother's passing, but it still hurt the both of them.
She re-read the letter until the words blurred together. Her father thought himself a failure? Haruhi's heart almost melted at that. Her anger dissipated, if only by a little bit, as she mentally assured her father that he was not a failure at all. She thought that he did a remarkable job as a parent. He single-handedly raised a child...a female child...one who had PMS for the record books. One who possessed a wicked attitude. Of course, when she was younger, her father had had to take her to the bar with him, but his friends always kept her entertained and away from the main area.
Even though Haruhi had lost her mother, her father had made sure that she was not without a support system. Her "mother figures" were all men in makeup, but Haruhi would never have traded it for the world.
"I love you, Daddy..." She whispered brokenly into the empty air. Her tears soaked the sheets around her, but she hardly noticed.
Haruhi laid down on her bed and curled into the comforter, her father's letter still grasped in her fingers.
It was a while before she became more rational and, in the interest of preserving the last shred of her father that she had, Haruhi placed the letter on the nightstand. Her head hurt, and the tears did not seem to want to quit.
Haruhi slowly let her eyes droop and eventually fell asleep.
Haruhi was running from something, but she could not fathom what she was running from.
"Help me!" She shouted. "Someone!"
"Haruhi!" She heard her father's voice calling for her.
"Dad! Daddy!"
Haruhi reached out into the darkness ahead of her, groping for something...anything. A cold hand gripped her wrist tightly, pulling her forward roughly. Soon, the darkness dissipated, and Haruhi was standing in a bright white room. Her father and mother were standing in front of her.
"Mom...Dad..." Haruhi whispered softly.
Her mother looked absolutely ethereal. Her long hair flowed around her beautifully. The cascading skirt of her white dress showed off her long legs. When she looked at her mother's face, she found it devoid of emotion. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest.
Her father looked angry. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, and his short hair flared around him. The white shorts and dress shirt he wore fit him perfectly.
"You know I blame you for this, right Haruhi? This is entirely your fault." His stoic voice rang through the vast emptiness.
"My fault?! How is it my fault?!" Haruhi wanted to scream at him, but she could not seem to find her voice.
"You were constantly reminding me of your mother, making me miss her every damn day. It is all your fault that I ended it. Who knows? It might even be your fault that your beautiful mother was taken from us."
Now that was a low blow. Tears stung Haruhi's eyes as she looked to her mother for some sort of support. Instead, Haruhi found that her mother had moved to stand behind her father. She had her arms wrapped tightly around his midsection in a supportive embrace, and as they faded away, the echoes of her father's accusation surrounded her, deafening her.
Haruhi was alone, completely and utterly alone. She curled up into a ball in the white abyss and let her tears fall. Sobs shook her terribly as she muttered, "It's not my fault...it isn't my fault..."
The next thing Haruhi was aware of, Kyoya was shaking her awake.
Kyoya
Kyoya was usually a light sleeper, but with Haruhi in his care, he was an even lighter sleeper. Sometime around midnight, his eyes snapped open as his ears caught whimpers from the room next door.
"Come on, Haruhi…wake up. Don't do this to me. Wake up!" He tried shaking her awake when he rushed into the room.
She continued to whimper and thrash around in his arms. After a few more minutes of unsuccessfully trying to wake his terrified girlfriend, Kyoya pulled her into his chest.
"It's not my fault...it isn't my fault..." She whimpered pitifully.
"Wha…" Kyoya gaped dumbly.
Kyoya watched as Haruhi's eyes shot open, staring blankly at his chest. After a couple of minutes, Kyoya grew tired of just hearing the heavy breathing and the pounding of his heart. He gently grabbed Haruhi's chin and pulled her to face him.
"Haruhi?" He tried gently.
Her glossy eyes flickered to him then back to the cloth covering his chest.
"Was it another nightmare?"
Again, her eyes glanced at him then back to his shirt. Kyoya sighed and closed his eyes, crushing her tighter against his chest. Her sobs came back full force, shaking the two of them on the bed.
"Shh...shh...Haruhi, it's alright. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Was it about your father?"
Her wailing grew louder, indicating that he was correct.
"Hush, Haruhi...please..." He was begging now. The great Kyoya Ootori was begging. He hadn't begged anyone for anything since...since...his kidnapping...
Kyoya briefly contemplated introducing Haruhi to a therapist to get things off her chest, but he mused that Haruhi would close herself off even more. She was not speaking to him or Isamu, so chances were good that she would not speak to a therapist. But the truth was that Kyoya was worried about her. If she did not start talking to someone about what happened soon, Kyoya feared that Haruhi would implode.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Kyoya tried to open her up, pushing her slightly away from his chest.
She merely shook her head and curled back into his nightshirt. Kyoya held her until her whimpers died down into hiccups. Eventually, her breathing evened out, and Kyoya set her back on the bed. He sat down beside her to watch over her in case of any more nightmares. She would probably be upset with him in the morning, but as long as he could make sure she was safe.
Daawww...Kyoya's such a sweetie! I wonder how long he can maintain his sanity? :D We shall see...
And Isamu will have a larger part in the next chapter...he's such a cutie...I love writing him... 3
Anywho, please leave a review is you have a couple of seconds! They really do mean a lot to me.
No telling when the next one will be up, though. It should be up within the next week, but I cannot make any promises! So much to do, so little time!
Until then, I hope everyone has a wonderful week...or month...golly, I hope it doesn't take that long...
See ya!
