I think of all the days in my life

Where I could have done something more.

Yes I remember the days in my life

Where I could have done something more.

~Hurt


My eyes quickly fluttered open, seeing the early morning light seeping through the thin fabric of Bilbos drapes. Lifting my arms out a yawn escaped past my lips as I stretched my stiff muscles that had become tense from sleeping on the hard wood floor. I had wished to get a few more moments of sleep, but the continuos tossing and turning from the previous night had kept me up longer then I wanted. If Fili had never offered up an opportunity to move over to them I'm positive I wouldn't have gotten any rest.

At the thought of the Durin prince my body froze in mid stretch, remembering that I had found my bed directly next to them. Please, let them still be asleep! All I needed was Kili, the young jovial dwarf to already be up and curiously wondering why a human girl was laying beside him. I can just hear the jokes he would be throwing my way if it was the case.

Leaning my head over slowly, as to make sure I didn't make any sudden movements I looked to my left. Feeling my heart lift in joy when I saw that both brothers were still fast asleep. Kili with his arms strewn over his eyes trying his best to keep the morning light at bay. Fili, was face down in his pillow, snoring softly.

So with one last glance at the brothers I got to my feet as quietly as I could. Bending over I grabbed the quilt Bilbo gave me from the night before, refolding the fabric as I made my way out of the dinning room. Gandalf was no longer sleeping in the arm chair but judging by the noises coming from the sitting room most of the dwarves were still blissfully passed out. Enjoying one final night of decent sleep in a warm home and comfy chairs.

But knowing that they would all be up and about within the hour, I made my way towards the bathroom. Setting the blanket that I was carrying down on the mountain of weapons still leaning precariously on Bilbos glory box. It was like a giant game of Jenga, but one false move would have a horde of dangerously sharp swords toppling down on you. So I tried to tread lightly.

My hands hovered a few inches away from the pile after I placed the blanket down. Making sure that if anything was to collapse I'd at least be able to stop it from crashing loudly to the ground. After a few moments of me crouched in the hallway awkwardly, and I was confident nothing would fall and kill anyone, I made a mad dash to the bathroom. Doing my business as quick as possible and making sure to grab my canvas bag that was still hidden away in the towel cupboard.

On the way out, I noticed a few of the dwarves sitting up in the places they used as a makeshift bed, mumbling to one another. Their hair sticking up in a multitude of directions as they sleepily stared between each other. None had taken note of my presence thankfully, so I made my way back towards the kitchen. Hoping that I'd be able to scrounge up something to eat before the hungry masses filtered in and I couldn't get anything in my stomach before we left.

Since Bilbos house was so small, it wasn't difficult to remember where it was. But when I reached the doorway I stopped dead in my tracks seeing Thorin hovering by the kitchen sink. My body instantly wanting me to retreat, to find somewhere else to sit while I waited for everyone to get ready, and forget about the food idea all together. Who needed food anyways? Right? But unlike the others who were unaware of my presence this early in the morning, Thorin seemed to have heard my footsteps approaching. For I saw his body visibly stiffen and his grip on the counter tightened to the point where I could see the knuckles in his fingers turning white.

"You are up early." After what felt like a lifetime of silence between us, he finally spoke. His head turning to eye me wearily. Knowing precisely who had stumbled upon him. "I half expected one of us would need to rouse you." His eyes narrowed and there was a hint of contempt in his words when he spoke. The animosity he held towards me almost tangible.

"I'm not an invalid, I know how to wake myself up." I mumbled, as I continued my way into the room and found a seat at the small breakfast table in the corner. Knowing that Thorin had already seen me, there was no use in running away now. It would only make me appear weaker.

"You are a woman." Following me with his stormy eyes, he watched as I sat down. Almost growling a response to my muttered statement. "You're place is at home, safe, not on this quest." Spinning on the heel of his heavy leather boots, Thorin stood facing me. His full menacing scowl clear as day, as he did his best to keep his voice low.

I inwardly fought to control my annoyance with the king. I haven't even been here a full day and this topic has already been addressed more than once by him. It was as if he was trying to bully a decision out of myself. But it seemed the Durin line also suffered from a thick skull, and needed everything repeated. Because I wasn't just going to quit. I was brought here for a reason by Gandalf.

"You can threaten and protest all you want, Thorin, I'm not leaving." My eyes locked with his in a heated moment. Hoping that I was standing some ground with him.

Again his eyes narrowed in my direction, and he slowly made his way towards me. His body stopping just behind my chair so I was able to feel the full power of his being. Thorin may be shorter then I was but he didn't lack in intimidation. If I didn't have to stand my ground on staying with the company I'm sure I would have bowed down and gracefully left the Shire without hesitation.

"Then you listen close," His head bent down hovering inches from my ear, his long black hair cascading around his face hiding it from view. His warm breath blowing against the skin of my neck, causing his words to be all the more pronounced. "If you fall behind, I will not risk one life of my kin to save you. When you become to much of a burden I reserve all rights to cast you from this company." I kept my gaze forward, staring intently at the wall of dishes ahead of me. Finding all the power I could muster to keep my mouth closed.

"I don't intend to slow you down. I'm here to give advice, whether you listen or not is your choice." I stated, my voice more confident then what I was feeling currently.

"Gandalf may have forced your presence upon us, but I do not have to heed your words." He growled into my ear, before standing up to his full height.

I didn't dare move as he stilled behind me. His large muscular frame looming behind, as if he was waiting for me to argue him. It was clear from our brief encounters Thorin had already caught onto my ways. He knew I was someone with a big mouth, who rebelled against authority with the way I spoke. To him I was somebody who needed to be put into place, and quickly, so I didn't protest him throughout the entirety of this journey.

When I didn't say anything back, he took that as my submission, excepting his words as what they were. But I knew that if I didn't some how manage to convince him otherwise I'd be on the course that would kill this man, and possibly his nephews. On the other hand I also realized that being my normal self would get me nowhere. For this to work I would have to play it Thorins way. Which meant only speaking up when I truly thought something needed to be done.

Shaking my head of my wandering thoughts I watched Thorin walk away. Only seeing him stop to turn, gazing back at me from the doorway. His nose scrunched and eyes glaring.

"If something were to befall my nephews in your presence Miss Buckley, you will be held accountable. They are far to trusting, for their own good." With his parting words he finally vanished from sight leaving me alone in the kitchen.

Wasn't I already going to be held accountable? Every death that was destine to occur would be on my hands, for I had the knowledge to changes events to come.

Heaving a sigh I pushed away those thoughts. Nothing would happen for quite awhile now, so I had time to plan. Time to gain Thorins trust and time to prove my worth in this company.

Shortly after our little encounter, most of the dwarves were up and about, many repacking their bags. Bombur had waddled into the kitchen, taking a moment to smile at me before rummaging around the cupboards. Looking for pots and pans that were put away from the night before. From the corner of my eye I watched him pull a few metal pots free and set them on the stove. Getting ready to cook a quick breakfast before we all headed out.

Feeling like I needed to make myself useful instead of sitting around waiting for Thorins next verbal attack, I pushed my chair out and made my way over to the stove. Bombur who was currently slicing strips of salt pork, turned when he noticed my presence beside him. His hands still working methodically with the knife, despite him not paying much attention to his actions.

"Can I help?" I asked quietly, and with a vigorous nod and a vibrant smile he gestured to the bunch of bright red tomatoes sitting on the counter.

Reaching out I grabbed them by their dark green vine and placed them in front of me. Bombur quickly handed me a small paring knife and I got to work cutting them into thick slices. It actually surprised me that there was any food left in this tiny home in general. After last nights feast, any logical person would have thought there would be nothing left but a few crumbs scattered about the pantry floor. But sadly, even I underestimated the hobbits love of all things edible and misjudged how much food he could actually stow away.

The sizzling of the salt pork in the pan quickly became a background noise as I sliced the tomatoes. My mind not really wandering in any particular direction. Using this mindless task to just clear my head, so if Thorin came back voicing his opinions about me joining this company again, I wouldn't fly off the handle.

"Bombur, making the lass cook?" A joyful voice sounded out behind us, causing us both to turn around. "Shame on you." Bofur laughed, sauntering carefree into the room. Tilting his weirdly shaped hat in greetings to me, while using his free hand to smack his brothers shoulder in a jesting manner.

"I wanted to help, I promise." A small chuckle escaped my lips as I picked up the stack of tomato slices. Handing two slices at a time to Bombur, who paired them with a piece of bread and a couple strips of pork.

Raising his rather bushy brow Bofur gave me a questioning look. A smirk plastered across his face as he stared, waiting patiently for Bombur to give him his allotted portion for breakfast. I must have looked out of place beside the largest member of the company, helping the man cook in the early hour. Judging by Bofurs quizzical expression he had not expected to see me within a hundred feet of a dwarf after last nights outburst with his king.

"Aye, I'm positive my brother appreciates it lass. Most keep their distance, I'm afraid." He smiled softly, tilting his head to look at the large red haired dwarf. Who's lengthy braided beard was tucked neatly below his stomach to ensure it would not catch stray embers from the stove while he continued to flip slices of pork.

It took me a moment to truly grasp Bofurs words. But I assumed he meant that most humans kept their distance around the dwarves. I knew elves and dwarves didn't have a high standard regarding one another but I never thought men would be the same way. It makes sense though, Dale, the human city Smaug all but desolated to a pile of ash because of the greed of one dwarf king. I'm sure men weren't to keen on having dwarves living within their towns after that, being afraid of what consequences could arise.

"Well I'm not like most people, so don't worry." As Bombur took the final pieces of tomato from my hands, I gently wiped the excess juice off onto the front of my pant legs.

"I'm glad, lass." His normal, wide smile returned to his face at my words. "Oye, Bombur!" He shouted out of nowhere. His hand coming up, smacking his forehead. Obviously remembering what he came into the kitchen for originally, before he got sidetracked. "Thorin wants us on the road in thirty minutes. So hurry up with the food."

Bombur gave a quick nod at his brothers words, before turning and handing me a tray full off food. "Will you pass this around lassie." He asked, and I gratefully did as he wanted. Taking the small tray in my hands, watching Bofur snatch his portion greedily before moseying his way to the seat I left earlier. Plopping himself down, he placed his feet on the table and began munching away at his piece of bread.

With one last glance over my shoulder at the two in the kitchen I slowly trudged my way out of the room and down the hall. Following the hushed voices and the shuffling of material as they most likely cleaned up. Making sure Bilbos house was in the same shape they found it in.

Along the way I had stopped, offering the tray of food out to the dwarves I ran into. Dori and Nori, gratefully reached for their portions, forgetting about the bed rolls they were latching up. They even gave a slight head nod in appreciation as I continued my task of finding everyone.

When I entered the sitting room I was all but bombarded with dwarves. Gloin and Oin, quickly dropped their heavy weapons as soon as a waft of the delicious salty pork hit their noses. As they barreled over their belongings making their way towards me I felt a hand creep around from behind. The owners fingers twitching lightly as they thought carefully about which portion they wanted. I fought the urge to break into a grin as the hand snatched the biggest piece left before the larger dwarves got there.

Bifir motioned with his hands, and grunted some words at me when he took his breakfast. I wasn't sure what he was trying to convey with his odd gestures but I took them as a parting thanks. Lastly, Balin hobbled his way over, his long cloak trailing behind him. He seemed a bit more awake then the others, but his face still held the traces of sleep. His eyes quickly finding my face, with a smile hidden beneath his long white beard.

"Thank you, lassie." Balin said graciously, taking three portions in his hands. "I'll take these to my brother and Thorin." He lifted the pieces of bread up as he spoke. I just gave a nod, knowing both Dwalin and Thorin didn't particularly like me at the moment. So it was best that I kept my distance.

Balin stepped around me as he made his way towards the front door. Leaving me standing by myself in the center of the room. After my arrival with the food it seemed like everyone went back to ignoring me. Their eyes never really finding mine, and their conversations kept to themselves. It was as if Thorin had told them all to keep their distance, to not encourage my presence here anymore then it should be.

With a deflated sigh, I took the last two pieces of food from the tray before setting it down on top of the nearest table. Fili and Kili weren't in the dinning room when I wandered back that direction, and they weren't in the kitchen. Even Bombur and Bofur weren't in there, so I assumed that they had already made their way outside to help set up the ponies.

Spinning on my heels I stopped only to look back at Bilbos bedroom door, checking to see if the hobbit had ventured out. Not to my surprise it was still closed tight, telling me he was fast asleep or undecided about tagging along on this adventure. But I had faith in the hobbit, he would come barreling after us as soon as we headed out. He would come...

Giving a final hopeful stare at the hobbits door, I leaned over and grabbed my canvas bag, slinging it onto my back. Feeling the weight baring down on my shoulders. In truth, I should have empty some of the more menial items out, like the odd paper back book I always carried around for when life's moments became to boring to handle. Or my iPod, which was really of no use to me here, there was no electricity and if the dwarves were to ever see it I'm sure I'd get even more questionable glares.

Even though I knew I should get rid of these items, there was this feeling inside of me telling me I couldn't. They were all I had left of my world, and who knows, there could be some random moment during this journey that one of these things may come in handy. Whether that would hold true, I doubted it. But that thought was currently in the back of my mind, prodding me into the decision I was making.

"Are these ours!" An excited voice shouted, pulling me from my thoughts.

Shaking my head slightly, I saw that I had made my way outside, my feet currently positioned by Bilbos front gate. A long line of ponies all secured to the picket fence with frayed plaited rope. And Bilbos garden, which was quite large from what I remember of it last night, was now only a few sprigs of green here and there, and a lone thistle that must have been hidden under the shrubbery.

"Yes." Taking my gaze away from the disaster, that was Bilbos front lawn. I saw Kili smirking deviously at his brother than back at me. "Yes it is." Ignoring their slightly unnerving looks I held out their breakfast.

"Good! We thought you'd forgotten about us." Kili chuckled. His hand quickly grabbing his slice and Fili followed suit. His large fingers brushing against the skin of my palm before pulling away.

"How could I forget about you two?" I rolled my eyes slightly, trying to accentuate my sarcastic tone. Forgetting those two would be equated to forgetting you had an axe embedded in your forehead... No offense to Bifur, but it's true. The Durin princes made their presence known where ever they went.

"You can't really." Kili stated with a satisfied smile, but was abruptly interrupted by his uncles booming voice.

The brothers and I both turned to see Thorin sitting on top his pony. The dim morning light, cascaded down through the trees lining the Shire, giving the king an even darker look about his face. His eyes were quickly scanning the company of dwarves in the small yard, seeing if everyone was accounted for.

"Let's go." Once he counted every head, twice, he flicked the reins that were gripped tightly in his hands. Causing his pony to start off down the dirt path.

"What about our burglar?" Balin called out as he climbed onto his pony. At his words Thorin pulled on the reins, coming to an abrupt halt.

Kili had gently tugged at the sleeve of my tunic, pulling me out the front gate while I watched the two older dwarves stare at one another. From here I could tell by Balin's voice that he was concerned that Bilbo had not changed his mind as of yet. In order to take back Erebor, a burglar was crucial and to appear to have lost him at the start, I understood where Balin's apprehension was coming from.

"He appears to have smartened up. We already have one burden, he'd only add to the number. His presence will not be missed." As Kili continued to pull me along, I felt Thorins pointed glare hit me. As if his eyes could burn me into a pile of ash, so I could be swept from his sight like dust.

"Have some faith master dwarf, please." For the first time that morning I heard Gandalf's voice. Again, like last night it held a edge of annoyance in it.

"Well I bet ten gold the lad changes his mind." Gloin shouted out. Which in turn caused a frenzy of dwarves placing bets on whether or not the hobbit would be joining us. Their loud voices probably waking up half the hobbits in the neighboring holes.

"Shazara!" Thorin angrily shouted, glaring at the company who had stilled into a silence. "We do not have time to play games. Now, let's go before we lose anymore daylight." With that, he kicked his heels into the side of his pony and continued down the path, not looking back to see if anyone was following.

Lose anymore daylight? Please, it's the ass crack of dawn... The sun is not going down for quite awhile.

"Are you joining us Lady Calin?" Hearing my name, I turned seeing Fili mounting his pony. A small grin tugging at his lips as I stood awkwardly in the middle of the path. While all the other members and their ponies trotted off after Thorin. And that's when it dawned on me... I had no mode of transportation.

"Um..." I started, my eyes frantically counting how many ponies we actually had. Sixteen... There was sixteen ponies, unfortunately fourteen had dwarves on top of them, and the last two had mountains of bags. "I don't have anything to ride."

"You can ride with me! Minty won't mind." Looking skeptically at Kili who had walked his pony up beside me, I inwardly sighed. A pony? I was taller than Fili and Kili, I'm sure I'd look like a complete fool on the back of this small animal.

"Nope, I'll walk." Waving off his offer I started down the road. My boots thudding against the dirt ground leaving a small cloud of dust behind me.

"Oh come on! It'll be fun, just you and me, riding across the shire together." I'm sure if I was smiling in that moment, it would have promptly fell into a frown, hearing Kili's joking words. But I kept walking, my pace getting faster when I saw the small shadows of two ponies enclose around my body. "What are you afraid of?" Leaning down from his place on Minty, Kili playfully shoved my shoulder causing me to swat at it.

"She's never ridden one before, I bet you." Fili who was to my left, smugly grinned down at me. "That's why she's afraid." Narrowing my gaze, I stared into his blue eyes. Not particularly enjoying his presence at the moment.

"I'm not afraid of the damn pony! I'm afraid of crushing her to death." I snapped aggressively, lying through my teeth at the blond prince. I may not be afraid of wooly animals, but I was afraid of looking like an idiot. Plus the poor horse would have to carry me and Kili, which would surely kill her.

"Nonsense." He waved off my worry with a simple shrug, clearly not concerned at all. "Come on now. What kind of men would we be if we left a defenseless lady to walk her way to Erebor?" Kili pulled Minty ahead and turned her, so her flank blocked my path. His hand reaching out for mine to give some help.

Knowing it was useless fighting these two and ignoring him calling myself defenseless, I reached up and gripped ahold of Kili's large hand. Placing my other on the back of Minty, I reluctantly hoisted myself up onto the pony. My leg swinging over allowing me to equal out my body weight on her back. But I didn't have to look down in order to see my feet almost dragging on the ground.

And as expected both brothers broke into laughter, seeing me in this state. My cheeks flaring bright red in embarrassment as I tried to compose myself and avoid their amusement at this predicament.

"If you say anything, I will hurt you both the next time we stop." Using my finger I pointed from Fili, who was doing his best to stop laughing, and to Kili, who I couldn't see currently. But given the fact his back was rising and falling rapidly he was still chuckling.

"A feisty one we have here brother." Kili laughed as he urged Minty to turn and speed up towards the others who were quite a distance a head. At the sudden motion my hands quickly wrapped around Kili's middle, much to my dismay. My fingers tightly gripping onto the fabric of his shirt, ignoring the muscles flexing underneath.

"Aye, a feisty woman indeed. We have not encountered one with such an attitude before." Fili stated quietly, as if he was mulling his words over. "It's a nice change." He finally added, his eyes locking with mine.

I didn't even bother to say anything back to Fili. It would just encourage them both further, and that's the last thing they needed, encouragement.

My grip on Kili tightening immensely when he pushed Minty to go faster. Catching up to the others fairly quickly, he maneuvered us into the center of the group. Bofur was to our right and Fili had pushed Gloin from his spot so he could be on our left still.

From my place behind Kili I could see the wheels turning in Bofurs head. A smile bigger then anything I've ever seen painted across his face as he gawked at us. He appeared to be enjoying my misery a bit to much for his own good. But when he opened his mouth to make a remark, I held up a hand.

"Don't even start." I sighed.

"I was not going to say a thing, lass." He coyly smiled, tilting his hat towards me.

Even though I wanted to be mad at Bofur for being upfront with his teasing. His smile was infectious, causing me to break out into a grin. Knowing that I not only looked like an idiot but seeing a full grown human on the back of a pony being steered by a dwarf was a pretty comical situation. It'd just be more comical if I wasn't the full grown human in this case.

The conversations between the groups soon picked up, and I found myself staring out into the beautiful landscape. I was truly awe struck seeing the warm glow of the sun hitting the green rustling leaves of the tall trees. The rolling hills that seemed to go on forever in all directions. Even the cool breeze surrounded us with the scent of freshly cut grass with a minty undertone. If I could just stop to appreciate what was in the Shire I would have, because no amount of words Tolkien ever wrote truly encompassed the full beauty of this world. He did a damn good job but this was something one had to experience to understand completely.

By the time I pulled myself from my fan girl stupor over just the landscape, we had just crossed into the woods outside of the Shire border.

"Wait! Wait!" A voice echoed from behind us. Many of the dwarves hearing it and calling their ponies to a stop. "I signed it!" The voice called out again, and in an instant I saw the hobbit sprinting past us, contract waving in the wind.

From my spot behind Kili I felt a feeling of relief wash over me as I watched Bilbo hand the contract up to Balin. Who promptly took it and began examining it with his eye glass. After a few moments Balin lifted his gaze from the paper and smiled at Bilbo who was waiting patiently for his verdict.

"Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." Balin announced loudly, causing the dwarves to cheer. Their burglar was back, meaning their chances to reclaim their homeland was that much better.

"Give him a pony." Thorin who appeared unimpressed by the hobbits appearance, gave a slight wave to the company signaling them to make room for the addition.

"No, no, no, no, that-that won't be necessary, thank you, but I-I'm sure I can keep up on foot. I- I-I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know." Bilbo shook his head vigorously, insisting that walking was the best method for him. But like me, the Durin princes took it upon themselves to get Bilbo on a pony. "I even got as far as Frogmorton once-WAGH!" His speech was abruptly cut short when Fili and Kili grabbed ahold of the small man and lifted him up onto the pony carrying the numerous bags.

At the additional weight being added to the ponies back, it neighed quite loudly and tossed its head. Making the already uncomfortable Bilbo even more uncomfortable. Just the way he was loosely holding the reins and the way his nose was crinkled in disgust he appeared to be having just as much fun as I was currently.

"What changed your mind?" I quietly asked, once the dwarves had settled down and the pouches of gold stopped flying through the air from the earlier bet they placed on the hobbit.

At my voice Bilbo jumped slightly in surprise, not expecting someone to talk with him. But when he saw me, a genuine smile crept across his face to his eyes. He shook his head and chuckled lightly for a moment.

"I couldn't leave you all alone with these barbaric dwarves could I? That'd be monstrous!"


Updates will happen every Friday now! Thanks for all the new followers! And all the great reviews!

I just hope you all enjoy this chapter, I know it was fairly unexciting but it's a must have. To make up for that i tried to make it extra long. So don't hesitate to review to tell me what you think. I like the feedback and it only helps my writing out.

Do you guys think Thorin will ever trust Calin? Do you think Calin is handling this situation well?

Thanks for reading! And I promise you it will get more exciting fairly quickly!