(Phew! Actually took me longer than I thought. Soooorry! Again! So let's see what Jack and Lisa are up to this time :P Chapter 7
English is not my nati- blah blah blah... I guess we all know this by now hahaha)
The next day didn't bring much change. Lisa was close to tears the entire time. She actually didn't know why exactly she felt like crying. After all the decision was pretty much clear to her – she needed to take the next turn and walk away from the wrong path she had been on for so many months. She needed to change something. She needed to change something quickly. However, somehow it didn't turn out to be that easy. Although Lisa knew that her future would absolutely not be be happening in France, she had a hard time to imagine how to carry on her life over here...after she had been away for so long. After being separated from Jack for so long. Perhaps it was all the exhaustion and the uncertainty that brought her close to crying. Part of her really wanted to talk to Renard before she would follow her heart, but she couldn't get herself to speak to him, least to say to look at him. During the day Renard tried a few times to talk to her calmly but she kept walking away from him.
Right now she was dealing really hard with the urge to drive to Heartland to speak to Jack. She tried to resist it first but didn't succeed at all. The desire to at least see him grew with every minute. She had never missed him so insanely before. Not even in France. She wanted to come back to him, she needed to feel his arms around her and she needed to know that he would give her a last chance. Yet, doubtfulness held her back. What would happen once she was there? Did he even want to see her? What if he was still mad at her? What if things would get even worse?
''How much worse can it get?', she thought ironically.
'True enough.'
She already felt like a wreck at the bottom of the sea, unable to free herself from the chains that kept her under water and it seemed that nothing could get her up. She was drowning. Drowning in the darkness of her life. Yet, the last piece of optimism clung to her heart and tried to convince her that everything would be alright. It always was at the end and a tiny glimmer of hope rose within her that her heart would lead her into the right direction.
So she pulled herself together, grabbed her coat and the keys and rushed out the house to the car not thinking about the dismissal of her employees in a few hours. Luckily Renard was busy with an important phone call and didn't notice her leaving.
Driving to Heartland had never felt so long before. Lisa knew the way by heart. She had driven it so often that she could close her eyes and tell exactly when to take the next turn. When she used to make her way to Heartland it had always felt like home time. Especially after a busy and hard day at her place she liked to come out here, immersing into a life that was so different to the pompous life she had to deal with day by day. Heartland had always been the place that showed her what really mattered in life. And this didn't include all those fancy people in fancy suits and their impersonal blathering. It was about how people would pull together in bad times. How people would care about one another. It was about being there for each other. Support and solidarity.
Approaching that place meter by meter brought back all the good memories that made Lisa hit the gas pedal even more.
Once there she parked her car beside the barn and took a moment to control the chaos in her head. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. This was it. She was here now. There was no way back. Well, there was if she'd just turn around and leave, but she forced herself not to. This needed to be done right now. 'Make up your mind', he had said and she did. She made up her mind and it brought her here. That was the place Lisa needed to be. This was the life Lisa needed to live. Hopefully Jack did, too.
'Here goes nothing', was the last thought before she opened the door and got out of the car. Her eyes wandered around as someone approached her from behind.
"Hey Lisa."
Lisa jumped slightly and turned around.
"Oh, hi Amy.", she said startled, the uncertainty and trouble resonating in her voice. She swallowed and forced herself to smile, but her eyes kept scanning the surroundings.
Due to Amy's good emotional sense she noticed immediately that Lisa was quite unsettled. She looked much more tired and exhausted than the last time she had been here which didn't surprise her at all. The day she and this French guy came over had brought a lot of trouble into the family. Well, it was much more her grandfather who caused the trouble. He was totally unapproachable and grumpy from morning till evening. Nobody dared to speak to him. Katie and Georgie seemed to suffer the most under the current circumstances within the family. They had become really quiet and avoided Jack most of the time although he had always been their greatest role model. But now he was more like someone they were afraid of which really was a shame. Lou was pretty upset about it. With her crazy life style she depended on her grandfather most of the time to take care of the kids but since this was out of the question at the moment Lou was even more stressed than usual. Amy tried to talk to her about their grandfather's reasons to act like this but her sister didn't seem to understand. Georgie was with Amy mostly while Tim tried to entertain Katie with some 'real cowboy stuff' when Peter wasn't around. In addition to all that Tim earned some really harsh words from Jack when he teased him about his manner and the bad mood he caused between everyone. All in all life at Heartland had become very stressful which wasn't really a benefit to the already busy days.
Amy wasn't sure if she should address this topic to Lisa, but decided that it wasn't her task to do. So she led the conversation into a different direction.
"Are you coming to see Cinders?", she asked friendly.
"No-", finally Lisa's eyes came to a halt on that young lady. A questionable look on her face.
'Cinders!', she totally forgot about her horse that was still with Amy. With everything that was going on during the last few days Lisa had not spent one thought on the horse. Good thing to re-home him. She was a terrible and irresponsible owner.
"Eh yes. I mean later. Do you know where Jack is?", she asked and again her eyes were wandering around impatiently.
"Uhm yeah, he must be up at the fields fixing some of the fences.", Amy said with a frown on her face, pointing up one of the hills.
Lisa nodded and without another word got back in her car and drove across the driveway to the small path that led up to the fields. In medium speed she followed the track through the grass that was already flattened by Jack's truck earlier. Her eyes were fixed on the top of the hill, awaiting the spot where she could get a look onto the other side.
Awaiting to see him there.
And yes, finally, there he was, standing in the distance next to his truck at the fence and handling with some tools. From this distance where he didn't notice her yet, Lisa took the chance to take in his appearance. She hadn't have time to do so the last day she had been here. But now still in her car, she recognized how handsome he was to her. Well, he wasn't the best-looking man on earth and with his archaic western cowboy appearance not many women would fall for him at first sight. Yet, she had been attracted to him from the beginning. It was the inside of him, that captivated her. People would say that he was a mystery, but he wasn't as soon as you got to know him better. He was a pretty straight-forward guy with good down-to-earth principles that most people missed and especially didn't understand these days. Most were after advancement, success and money, but all of this didn't matter to him. Having a strong and reliable family was what Jack stood up for. Solidarity, helpfulness and honesty were capitalized on Heartland and it was just that, what made him a mystery to many. Lisa had to admit that it had the most appealing effect on her because deep down she was just like him. From a whole different part of society but when it came to her principles they were pretty much the same. Especially while she grew older her business life faded more and more into the background. It was still important to her, but she missed having something that would give her the feeling of safety and steadiness. She had found that on Heartland. She had found that with Jack. And she had lost it.
With every meter she came closer, her heart sped up even more. It nearly jumped out her throat when she stopped next to his truck. He still didn't notice her coming. Lisa tried to calm herself. It wasn't much of a help to act totally headless right now. But that's what she was: headless and totally with her heart first. As she closed the door behind her with a quiet slam, Jack finally turned around and looked at her.
Puzzled.
He hadn't expected her here at all. There was a long pause between them. No one dared to speak up. Jack had never thought that she would actually come back. He was almost sure that she was already back in France since he hadn't heard anything from her in three days.
Lisa was just too overwhelmed to say something. There was a lump in her throat that hindered her from speaking. All they did was to stare at each other, taking in everything that they loved so much about the other. Finally, after moments of silence where only the soft breeze, that blew gently through the grass, was audible, Jack found his voice and made the first move.
"Lisa?", it was more a question than anything else and their wasn't much more he could say right now. He wanted to jump towards her and draw her to him, but he wasn't sure what Lisa was up to or why she had come all the way out here.
By the sound of his voice as he said her name, Lisa couldn't help but starting to cry. All the exhaustion and emotions overcame her at this moment and she couldn't hold back any of it. She had spent the last whole year suppressing anything she felt about that relationship with Jack and now it came back like a enormous ball of fire that set everything around it alight. It was hurtful and the emotional pain almost brought her to her knees. The tears were running down her face but her eyes clung onto his that looked at her worriedly.
"I..", the words in her head spun around which made it hard for Lisa to get them out. It took her a moment to collect herself.
"I want to come home. I want to come back to you.", she sobbed desperately with a crack in her voice. Now that she stood here with him, Lisa realized how much effort the last days had cost her. As if all the strength had been sucked out her body. She felt weak and drained but she stood her ground, determined to get back what belonged to her all along.
Jack didn't waste another second. He had waited for too long already to bring this woman back into his life. It was the last chance to fix the mistake that once was made. Stupid as he was, he let her go. This time she needed to stay. Without another thought he took off his work gloves, threw them to the side and hurried over to her. With the lightest movement he gathered her into his arms, lifting her up and holding tight onto her. Lisa's face buried itself deep into his neck. His heart beat hard against hers as she pulled herself forcefully against his body. She fit perfectly into him as if never anything had happened. Yet, only the two of them could sense that the distance hadn't separate them but bound them even closer together. They desperately clung to each other for a long moment, enjoying the physical contact and the feeling that came along by the sensual touch of their melded bodies.
"Please take the pain off of me", Lisa begged weakly, still sensing the heavy burden on her soul. Her voice sounded muffled as she spoke against his skin. There was no questioning and no hesitation to what she meant as Jack put her back on the ground, leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. The time stopped as they stood there on the field, entwined in each other like they did in the good old days. This time however it was much more intense. The salty taste of her tears moisten his lips as he moved against hers willing to deepen the kiss. A sharp bolt run through Lisa's whole body when their lips parted. Heat was boiling up within her that surrounded her crooked heart with warmth. Bit by bit the wall of pain crumbled down only to regenerate what once was there – comfort, safety and love. Love for this old archaic cowboy. She hadn't felt something so soothing for a very long time. It was the key that brought her soul back into life. Here she was. Being at the right place with the right man. She was back on the right track and it felt damn good to walk on safe ground.
It didn't take long when she was already longing for some air, but Jack kept going and pushed her back against his truck. The edge of the truck bed cut into her back as he pressed his body hard against hers.
'He is out of his mind', Lisa thought but despite her breathlessness she couldn't resist to play along. Her heart and her sanity fought a fierce battle.
"Jack, stop...Stop, please.", Lisa finally managed to get out in between some kisses and was able to get a little bit space between them. When she looked into his eyes it was as if she looked straight into home. Yet, there was something that bothered her. Something that didn't let her go on.
"What is it?", he was somewhat afraid he had gone too far again. His grip tightened around her – just in case. He wouldn't let her go a second time.
"I've never cheated on someone before." she admitted talking about Renard who hat no clue at all what was going on nor where she was.
"You didn't tell him yet?"
Lisa shook her head ruefully.
He took a moment of consideration.
"You know. I have done a lot of things in my life. Crazy things, but I've never had an affair before.", he said with the most boyish smirk on his face. Lisa laughed softly and it was the most beautiful thing he had heard in months.
In fact Jack had never been so damn selfish before but this was his last chance. This handsome successful French guy could have any other woman. Lisa belonged to him. She was his very last chance to love truly. So, it didn't matter to him if she was still in a relationship with this Renard, because practically it didn't work anyway and it won't work in the future. Jack had gained too much life experience to know when two people weren't meant for each other. He knew Lisa better than Renard did. Yes, there might have been a time where he indeed was in her league, but Lisa's relationship to Jack had changed her. She wasn't the woman he heard about before they met and she wasn't the woman he got to know back at the open house-barbecue or the fisherman's cabin. They shared a much longer history than she had with this Renard. A history that they had written together and that had an impact on the two of them. They both changed, but they changed to fit even more perfectly together. They had changed for each other. Jack gave himself the right to act selfish. It was his turn now.
So, he put on a determined expression and moved his hands to her hips. With ease he lifted her up onto the load space of the car that they had been leaning on the whole time. A soft surprised sound escaped Lisa's mouth to this unexpected and sudden movement. Automatically he landed in between her legs as she flung her arms around his neck to find some balance.
"I want you more than I need you.", he whispered close to her face before he started to move his lips over her cheek, down to the side of her neck, pushing the collar of her shirt to the side only to places kisses on her collarbone. "Lisa, I need you so bad.", he finished breathlessly. His hands had already found their way under her jacket, no, under her shirt now and moved upwards, sliding over her skin, leaving a track of goosebumps. Lisa sighed softly to this intimate moment before she realized what actually was happening.
'What the heck was going on here', it shot through her mind.
It was neither the right place nor the right time for this. There were things that still needed to be cleared first. And after all they were in the middle of some field not far form the ranch. Anybody could be up here any minute.
"Jack. I'm serious. Stop.", the sanity of her spoke. This time she pushed him back forcefully. "we can't do this now.", she said and it was the second time in two days that she had trouble to go on. Lisa couldn't do that relationship with Renard and now she couldn't go on with Jack. Yet, it was different. Whatever this was between her and Jack right now, she hoped it would continue, but it all was happening too fast. Renard had the right to know. She owed that to him.
Despite Jack's uncertain look on his face, she pushed him back a bit more and slid down from the truck. Her legs were still a bit wobbly due to the arousing occurrence. To be honest, she felt slightly dizzy but all in all there was a good feeling that spread through her body. Still, she needed to leave. This whole current situation was just too overwhelming. Not thinking about it twice, Lisa rushed over to her car, searching for the keys which still stuck in the ignition. While she frisked her clothes with shaking fingers, she turned around to see if she had lost the keys somewhere by the truck, but her eyes came to a halt on Jack who still stood at the place where she had left him, staring at her with some kind of lost expression.
Watching her leaving like this brought back all the memories from the past and it brought back all the negative feelings that rose in him when he realized that he was about to loose her. Jack was frightened that it would happen yet another time. He wouldn't survive another time loosing that woman. He was worried that she would never ever coming back again if she left him now. This thought paralysed him and he couldn't do one single step to run after her. Luckily, Lisa turned around and seemed to understand what held him back.
She understood that she had to make a promise. With three strides she reached him. Her faithful eyes looked up at him. The characteristic sparkle in them was back again. There they were, her icy blue eyes that shone just for him.
One hand moved up his chest as she spoke.
"I will be back.", she leaned over and emphasized that promise with a soft, yet meaningful kiss, before she turned around to walk back to her car. The whole time Jack never left the spot he was standing on. He watched her as she got in her car, found the keys, backed up and drove the way back towards the ranch, vanishing behind the hill.
He stood there for next half an hour, trying to understand what had just happened and what might happen from now on. Jack hoped imploringly that Lisa would keep the promise she just made.
(Phew, again! Hope you like that chapter!
I am thinking about one or two more chapters... not sure yet :/ )
