Author's Note: This is the second part of what was supposed to be one chapter. Thank you to everyone who is still reading, I admire your patience! Also thank you so much for the lovely reviews, they honestly keep me going! Massive thanks to the Discord crew for giving me a kick into action and making me get this up tonight. I'm hoping updates will be quicker for the next few chapters as I know what I'm doing (I'm as shocked as you are!) but we shall see.


That evening, Chloe was in her room reading whilst Ange did the ironing downstairs. There was a knock at the door. Taken by surprise as they were not expecting any visitors, Ange went through to the hallway and opened the door. On doing so, she found herself faced with a woman perhaps only a little younger than herself.

"Ms Godard?" She asked politely.

"Yes." Ange responded. She recognised the woman but in the moment could not place her.

"Nice to meet you, Ms Godard." She greeted, holding out her hand. "I'm Miss McRae, Chloe's form tutor."

"Of course." Ange remembered, shaking the teacher's outstretched hand. "Would you like to come in?"

"No don't worry." Miss McRae replied. "I don't want to disturb your evening. I just wanted to find out how Chloe is doing."

"You're not disturbing us, honestly. Besides, it's freezing out there and I've just put the kettle on anyway." Ange smiled. Gratefully, Miss McRae returned the smile and stepped inside, making sure to wipe her feet on the mat before removing her shoes. "Go through and have a seat. I'll make the tea and tell Chloe you're here."

"Don't make her come down if she doesn't want to. I don't want to upset her."

"Don't worry." Ange reassured her. "I wont."


Having made the tea and taken it through to the living room where Miss McRae was waiting, Ange then went upstairs to tell Chloe that they had a visitor. She hoped Chloe would be pleased but if truth be told, she did not know how her daughter would react. It had been a better day for her but she had spent the last hour or so shut up in her room, a sure sign that she needed some downtime. Ange knocked softly before opening the door.

"Hey." She greeted. Chloe attempted a smile in response. "Miss McRae is here. She wanted to find out how you're doing." Chloe's bottom lip quivered and her face crumpled as she burst into tears, taking Ange completely by surprise. "Oh, hey, it's okay." Ange comforted, sitting on the bed next to Chloe and holding her close. "What's all this about?"

"I don't know." She sniffed. "I just feel sad. Not normal sad or anxious sad but sad sad. Like, really sad sad."

"It could be the medication." Ange told her.

"I'm not in trouble?" Chloe asked. "With Miss McRae, I mean."

"No, no not at all." Ange reassured her. "She's come to see how you are, which is really nice of her."

"It is." Chloe agreed. "I will come down in a little while. I just need some time to sort myself out."

"That's okay. If you don't feel ready then it's okay to just stay here." She told her. "Miss McRae said not to make you come down if you don't want to."

"I do." Chloe said. "She's been off since December and she's my favourite teacher. Just...just give me ten minutes. I want to try and write my feelings down like you said and then I'll be there."


Ange appeared back downstairs a short while later to find Miss McRae still patiently waiting.

"Sorry about that." She apologised.

"It's fine." Miss McRae replied. "So how is Chloe doing?"

"Not great if I'm honest." Ange admitted. "She's been having panic attacks for a while now but only told me the other day. We went to the doctor who as good as told us that there is no way Chloe can have anxiety as there's no reason for it but she's really struggling, though today has been a better day. We're doing our best but there's a long way to go."

"Do you know when it started? Has she been having them at school?" The teacher questioned.

"I don't know exactly when it started. I think she said the one the other day, the day she came home was the first one she's had at school. She went to the nurse saying she didn't feel right but was dismissed and when I phoned the school to say she'd come home they said that they have had their concerns about Chloe for a while. Why didn't they contact me?" Ange said in frustration.

"You have every right to be upset, Ms. Godard you really do." Miss McRae responded apologetically. "The teacher covering my form group told me everything when I came back the other day and I was fuming. I had every intention of trying to talk to Chloe on the day she went home early. She's been seriously let down by the school, you both have and I can only apologise but I will help you fight to get Chloe the support she needs from us."

"Thank you." Ange felt relieved that finally someone else was on their side. "I honestly don't know when Chloe will be back at school yet. I think she's keen to get back as soon as possible but I don't want that to add to what she's going through already."

"No of course not. There is no rush for her to come back, none at all."

Chloe had been sat at the top of the stairs for at least fifteen minutes trying to summon up the courage to go down. Every time she thought she was ready, a fresh wave of anxiety overcame her and she was back to where she started. If only she could get her breathing under control for more than about ten seconds and stop her hands from shaking. She so badly wanted to call for her mum but being very conscious of the fact that her form tutor was sat downstairs did not want to make even more of a fool of herself than she had convinced herself Miss McRae already thought she was. Despite the fact that her mum had told her she was not in trouble, her head would not let that thought go. She could hear voices coming from the living room but was purposefully not taking in what they were saying. She knew they were talking about her, they must be and it could only be bad things. Her grades were slipping at school. She spent every break alone. She rarely contributes in class these days. She was becoming the disappointment that she had vowed never to become. Chloe Godard is a failure. All these thoughts wove themselves into her mind and she could do nothing to stop them.

"Come on, Chloe." She muttered to herself. "It's all in your head. Tell them to stop, tell them to stop!" She took a deep breath and held it for as long as she possibly could, battling the negative thoughts until they became quieter and eventually fizzled away. She held her hands out in front of her and noticed that the tremors had all but stopped. She had done it. For the first time she had managed to stop herself having another panic attack without any help. Maybe, just maybe, things really could get better again. Steadily, she stood up and made her way down the stairs and to the living room but stopped at the door. "It's fine." She whispered. "You stopped that, you can do anything." She pushed open the door.

"Hi Chloe." Miss McRae greeted. "It's lovely to see you." Chloe responded with a smile.

"I stopped it." She said to Ange, sitting down next to her. "I thought I was going to have another panic attack but I stopped it, mum, I did it all by myself." She finished proudly.

"You star." She said, matching her daughter's expression. She noticed how her daughter's eyes lit up when she spoke and realised just how much she missed seeing that.

"Are you better now, Miss McRae?" Chloe asked with genuine interest, turning her attention to her form tutor.

"I am, thank you, Chloe." She responded. "I had a rather nasty case of pneumonia that landed me in hospital for two weeks but I'm fully recovered now. How are you doing?" Chloe thought for a moment.

"I...I don't really know how to explain it." She said thoughtfully. "I'm down more than I'm up, that's for sure. Well, mostly down and not much up really. Erm..." She paused, rubbing her head in agitation.

"It's okay." Miss McRae reassured her. "Don't try and explain it and stress yourself out."

"I've started on medication today. The ones the doctor prescribed to shut mum up." Chloe grinned. "Though they might take a while to start working which is unfortunate."

"But it will be worth it when they do."

"If they do." Chloe corrected. "What?" She questioned in response to the look Ange gave her. "You said it yourself that there's no guarantee that they will work. They could even make me worse."

"I know but it's best not to think about that now. If it does turn out to be the case then we try something else. We will keep trying until we do find something that works. I won't give up and I won't let you give up either." Ange told her firmly. Chloe hung her head.

"I know, I'm sorry." She said guiltily. "Can we talk about me going back to school?" She asked.

"I think that's going to be a little while away yet, sweetheart." Ange tried to reason. Chloe took in a breath to try and suppress the rising anxiety.

"But I need something to work towards and I don't want to fall behind." She mumbled, fiddling with a stray thread on the hem of her top.

"Chloe, what do you think we could do at school to help you when you do come back?" Miss McRae intervened. Chloe shrugged, not daring to speak in case she crumbled. "Because we want to help you and there are things we can do to support you. Perhaps we could arrange for you to see the school counsellor?" She nodded but in truth, the idea of talking to a stranger about what she was going through made her feel physically sick. It was difficult enough talking to her mum about it. "And maybe you could start coming in for a few lessons a week and build it up? We also have systems in place where for certain students who might find the classroom environment overwhelming at times they can leave at any point if they feel they need to. Do you think that could help?"

"I..." She began. "Well, maybe. I'm really sorry but mum, perhaps you were right. I just wanted to get back to normal but now we're actually talking about it it feels like too much already. I'm so sorry, it's my own fault for asking."

"It's not your fault." Ange told her gently. "And it takes a lot of courage to admit when something is getting too much."

"Your mum's right." Miss McRae agreed.

"Well can I at least have some work to do?" Chloe requested.

"I don't think that's a good idea just yet-" Ange started.

"Oh mum, please?" Chloe pleaded.

"If you really felt up to it, our class are starting the creative writing topic next week and you could plan and write your story in your own time. I can email the prompts that the class will be working from to your mum if you would like to?" Miss McRae suggested. "But if you don't feel up to it then that's okay too." Chloe's eyes lit up.

"Yes please!" She snatched up the offer before Ange could say otherwise. After a moment's consideration, Ange nodded in agreement, much to Miss McRae's relief.

"I should probably get off." She announced, starting to gather her bag and stand up. "I don't want to outstay my welcome and besides, the sky looks full of snow."

"Told you." Chloe shot smugly at Ange as they both stood up and followed Miss McRae to the door.

"Yes alright Little Miss Clever-Clogs. It's not snowing yet though." She pointed out.

"It will do." Chloe was convinced. Miss McRae smiled in amusement as she stepped out of the house.

"Sorry to drop in on you unannounced, I hope you didn't mind."

"No, of course not. It was good of you to do so, you didn't have to." Ange told her.

"Look after yourselves and each other." She said, looking from Chloe to Ange. "And keep in touch with how Chloe's doing and if there's anything we can help with, okay?"

Chloe and Ange bid Miss McRae goodnight and watched as she walked down the drive to her car. Once she had gone, Ange turned to Chloe. "I'm really proud of you for how you handled that. It can't have been easy."

"I did feel panicky." Chloe revealed. "But I told all the negative thoughts to go away and it worked."

"Have I ever told you how amazing you are?"