So, originally I was going to post a different chapter, but at the last minute, I decided that I needed to make a few changes. Soooo I searched through my computer and found this one. I still like my other one better, but I think this one is pretty good, too. Hope you like it!
=======A Collection of Thoughts=======
"Can we talk?" He asks, when she walks out of the locker room after shift.
"Sam…" she says, slowly shaking her head.
"Andy, please? C'mon, I'll give you a ride to the Penny," he offers. He sounds desperate and he knows, but he just needs to fix this. He needs to apologize. He needs everything to be okay with them before she goes to that damn fishing cabin with Callahan.
"Fine," she shrugs.
He nods and gestures for her to go first. They quietly walk down the hallway, out the door and hop into his truck without saying a word.
The entire three minute ride to the Penny is filled with nothing but awkward silence. He almost says something at least four different times, but he just can't figure out where to start. When he parks the truck, she jumps out immediately. He can't let her go without saying something, so he opens his door, runs to the other side and catches her by the arm to stop her. She looks up at him expectantly and just waits to hear whatever he's planning to say.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I was such an ass," he tells her.
"I don't know what you're problem was today. You said I could always come to you," she reminds him.
"I know Andy, I know. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I was just… pissed," he confesses. "I know that's not an excuse… I guess I … I guess I just misunderstood what happened between us the other night," he admits, hesitantly.
"What do you mean?" She asks, curiously. Her expression has softened a little, so he takes that as a good sign.
"I guess I just thought that it… that it meant something… and it kind of sucked to realize that it didn't," he shrugged, unable to look her in the eyes.
"Sam! You're the one who said it was what it was," she exclaims as her frustration starts to bubble up again.
"I know, but… Andy, you know it was more than that… at least to me," he tells her, finally meeting her gaze.
"Uh… no I didn't. How would I know that?! You told Luke I was all his," she replies.
"Yeah, after he told me that it was your idea to go to the cabin. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to beg you to be with me? Sorry Andy, I'm not going to do that. Not when you're with someone else," He tells her.
"Sam I… It was not my idea," she informs him. "Well, I mean, technically it was, but… but I suggested it a couple weeks ago… before the blackout," she explains.
"Okay… but you're still going," he reminds her.
"No, I… I don't know," she shrugs. "This morning, I was going to tell him I didn't want to go and then you…"
"And then I what?" He probes.
"Then you said it was what it was," she says quietly as she looks at her shoes.
"Okay, but help me out here- why would that bother you? …I mean, you're with him, Andy… You came to my place, you kissed me and we almost had sex, but… but you're still with him," he recaps. He lets out a sigh when he sees the look on her face and instantly feels guilty. "Look, you were upset, you wanted to feel better and I was just a warm body… it's okay, I get it," he tries to assure her.
"That's really what you think? You're just a warm body?" She wonders.
"Well, what would you call it?" He asks.
"You… you're the person who's always there for me," she tells him. "At least, you were," she adds.
He lets out a big sigh. "Andy, I really am sorry about today," he apologizes.
"I know," she nods. And she does. She knows he's beating himself up way more than she ever could. "I know," she repeats, offering him an understanding smile.
"So… are we okay?" He questions.
"Yeah, we are," she assures him.
"Okay… good," he nods. "Well, let's go. Callahan's probably waiting for you in there," he says as he takes a step towards the door.
"Sam," she blurts out as she grabs his arm to stop him.
"Hm?" He says as he turns around the face her.
"I um… I don't want to go," she tells him.
"You… you don't want to go?" he repeats, as if he needs to say it again in order to fully comprehend the meaning behind her words.
She nods and they just stare at each other for a moment.
"I uh… I should go in there and tell Luke that I changed my mind… Will you… will you give me a ride home after?" She asks.
"Sure," he nods as he runs a hand down the back of his neck. "Just uh, come find me when you're done," he tells her, still a little shocked by this sudden turn of events.
"Thanks," she says, offering him a small smile.
"Ready?" He asks as he gestures toward the door.
"Yeah," she nods before they both start walking across the parking lot. When they step inside they share a quick look before she walks over to Luke and Sam makes his way over to Oliver and Jerry.
=======A Collection of Thoughts=======
He tries to focus on the story Oliver is telling, but it's proving to be difficult. He is much more interested in the conversation going on a few feet away from him. He really wishes he could read lips right about now. He can see that Callahan is not happy with whatever it is that Andy is saying. And she definitely looks guilty, but beyond that, it's hard to say what is going on.
The conversation lasts about fifteen minutes before Luke throws a few bills on the table and stomps out of the bar. He watches Andy close her eyes, take a deep breath and then look around before her eyes land on him. When their eyes meet, she sends him a smile, which he happily returns as he watches her walk towards him.
"Hey, so do you think you can give me that ride now?" She asks Sam when she walks up to the bar where he is sitting with his friends.
"Sure, McNally," he nods. He pulls out a few bills from his wallet and leaves them on the counter before turning to his friends. "See you guys later."
"Bye Sammy," they say as they watch him walk out the door with Andy.
"He wasn't happy," she declares as they get into his truck.
"Are you surprised?" Sam asks. He can't imagine anyone being happy after missing out on a weekend away with Andy McNally.
"No, I just… I don't know what I thought would happen. It's not like we've even been dating that long and… I mean, we never even discussed being exclusive or anything. I didn't think it was that serious," she shrugs. "He was really pissed," she tells him.
"Just because you didn't want to go to the cabin? You guys can go some other time. He shouldn't make you feel guilty for changing your mind. You had a long day… a long couple of days. He'll get over it," Sam reasons.
"No Sam, I uh… I didn't just tell him that I didn't want to go to the cabin… I told him that I didn't think we should see each other anymore," she explains.
"Oh," he says as he glances over at her.
"Yeah."
The rest of the ride is quiet with both Sam and Andy lost in their own thoughts. When Sam pulls up in front of her apartment building, she doesn't even seem to notice.
"Andy, we're here," he tells her.
She looks up at her apartment building and verifies that they are, in fact, at her place. "Oh," she says. "You uh… you want to come in?" She asks.
"Uh…"
"I think we should probably talk," she tells him.
"Yeah… I guess we should," he agrees before unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of his truck. He meets her at the other side and they walk up to her apartment in silence.
"You want a drink?" She asks as they walk in the door.
"Uh sure," he shrugs. She nods and pours them each a scotch and hands one glass to him. They both take a big sip and then place the glasses on the kitchen counter.
"'I'm not sure what to say," she admits, while she looks down at her shuffling feet.
"Why did you break up with Callahan?" He probes, taking a step closer to her.
"I uh… I've been having doubts for a while," she admits. "The way he treated Benny and then, everything that happened after I killed that pedophile. He was more concerned with getting on the case than making sure I was okay," she explains. "I just think that… the person you're supposed to be with… you should trust them more than anyone else, you know? And you should be able to talk to them about anything… And they should always be there for you when you need them. They should know when you're upset, even when you say you're fine. And you should never feel like you're not a priority in their life… You should be with the person who makes you laugh, who can always make you feel better… who makes you feel safe," she continues.
"And Callahan isn't that person for you?" He asks.
"No… no, he isn't," she shakes her head. "Actually… you are," she says so softly, he's not even sure if she actually said it. "Sam, it's really hard for me to trust people, but I've always trusted you and you've always made me feel safe. And even though you complain about my allergy to silence, I've never felt like you weren't listening to me. And even if I'm able to convince everyone else in the world that I'm fine, you always seem to know that I'm not. And you always try to make me feel better, and you pretty much always know exactly what to say to do just that… You make me laugh, you're always there for me… I'm just sorry it took me until recently to realize it," she tells him.
He's just staring at her, not saying a word and it's starting to make her feel uncomfortable.
"So um… whatever this thing is between us… I'd kind of like to see where it goes," she tells him. When she finally gets the courage to sneak at a glance at him, their eyes meet and he takes a couple steps forward so he is right in her personal space. He puts one hand on her waist while the other cups her face and he starts to lean in for a kiss. When there is only an inch between them, he stops and just hovers over her lips while he searches her eyes.
"You sure?" He asks.
She nods and closes the distance between them, crashing her lips against his.
=======A Collection of Thoughts=======
Thoughts?
I'm trying to post a chapter for Pretend tonight. And I'll hopefully be posting the next chapter for Roommates either tonight or tomorrow night, so look out for those.
As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.
