The sequence of events that brought him to this very bad place happened very quickly. Maybe it just seemed that way because Sasuke hadn't slept in almost three days. Sleep deprivation always warped his sense of time. He was no stranger to nightmares, but this recent bout…
It was different. That's far as Sasuke allowed his thoughts to go.
Kakashi didn't help (well, when did he ever?) by dragging him out of bed hours before dawn as he rambled cheerfully about a 'special surprise.' Sasuke didn't pay attention. He bit into what he thought was an apple, found that it was actually a tomato, and decided this was acceptable. He ignored the idiot's moon-eyed stare and hn-ed in response to Sakura's idle chatter. They walked through the forest, which thickened, thinned, and faded into a wide dirt clearing.
Sasuke took a while to realize they stopped walking. He wiped a drop of tomato juice from his chin and looked up to find a black, yawning abyss.
Of course.
"Whoa, what is this place?"
Is this place… this place… place…
Naruto's shout echoed in the darkness. Sasuke shivered.
"One of the foremost tourist attractions in Rock Country," Kakashi replied.
Sakura walked to the mouth of the cave. She ran her fingers over something on the side of the entrance and tapped her chin thoughtfully.
"Is this the tunnel from the song, Kakashi-san?"
Of course it was. She didn't need to specify which song. The tomato sank in Sasuke's stomach like a rock.
"Excellent observation, Sakura. Yes, it is. You kids can play here while I take care of some business in town."
No. No. No, no-
"No! I refuse to go in there. This is a-" terrible, insane, frightening "-waste of time."
"Stop being a scardy-cat, Sasuke-" okay, there's no way that idiot could see through him so easily "-Come on guys!" Naruto disappeared with a whoosh, rushing headlong into the unknown without hesitation. Kurama trotted after him with a snort and a small yip.
"Oh, look at these markings. They're so well preserved, and the language must be…" Sakura's voice disappeared into the dark. Sai adjusted the straps of his large backpack and followed.
Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets to hide the shaking. "What business do you have in town?"
"Oh, would you like to accompany me to the brothel?"
Maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Anything had to be better than this place.
"I've been thinking, twenty-one is a bit old to still be a virgin. Perhaps it's time to do something about it."
By the time Kakashi finished the sentence, he was speaking to thin air.
A few minutes later, a violent rumble shook the cave. Rocks cracked, clattered, and rolled. Sakura screamed. Naruto fell flat on his back- no, something knocked him down. He tried to get up. A hot, rough hand pushed him back, then curled protectively over his head.
"Idiot! Stay down," Sasuke hissed into his ear.
Hard to argue with that.
When the noise and shaking stopped, everything was pitch black. Sure, the cave was dark before, but a decent amount of light filtered through the entrance. What happened? Last time Naruto checked, there wasn't a door that could slam shut or anything like that.
"Um. Sasuke?"
"What."
"I can't see."
"The exit is blocked. We're- we might be trapped."
"Oh."
…
"Sasuke?"
"Hn."
"You're shaking, like, really shaking," Naruto chuckled breathlessly. "It's gonna be okay, ya know."
The warm, solid (pleasant) weight left him abruptly.
"Don't say such reckless things. You don't know. Can't you-" Sasuke's voice cracked. He cleared his throat. "Do you not get it? This is a bad place."
And then there was light. A flickering white flame floated from Sasuke's hand. Naruto squinted, both because his eyes hadn't adjusted and because he really didn't get it. Like… Okay, the was a minor cave-in, but it's not like anyone got hurt. What's the point of getting all worked up?
"Sakura," Sasuke hissed. "Shit! Where is she? There."
A hint of teal and pink was visible under layers of pebbles and dirt. Sasuke practically ran to it, crouched and gently turned her over with the hand not holding the flame.
"Sasuke-kun?" She sat up and swayed slightly, still dazed.
"You're fine," he decided after a cursory glance, "And your cousin?"
"Behind you."
Sauske started slightly –who wouldn't, when a creep like that sneaks up on you?- before muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "too much to hope for."
See? Everyone's fine. No need to freak out. Geez.
"Sasuke-san," Sai held out a long piece of wood, "Would you light this for me?"
The prince's dark eyes widened, then narrowed fractionally. He looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it.
"Here."
The cave pulsed gold with the light from the torch. Sasuke extinguished his own fire and let his hand drop.
Naruto stood up, dusted off, and blew his special whistle. Kurama jumped into his arms and gave his face a thorough tongue bath. "Alright," Naruto laughed, "Cut it out, will ya? There's a good boy."
"You have got to be kidding me," Sasuke grumbled.
The prince mumbled whenever something pissed him off. For some reason, the bastard had been extra pissy lately. Naruto shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. Sasuke, being semi-nice on a regular basis?
Apparently, it was too much to ask for.
"Sadistic meddlesome bastard… Trap me in a magic cave… Surrounded by backwards cretins… Traitorous old fool… When Madara hears about this… Unless I die here… Maybe that wouldn't be so bad…"
"Oy bastard, everyone can hear you, ya know."
"Keep your voice down!"
Normally, Naruto wouldn't mind pissy Sasuke. Hell, most of the time, fighting with the bastard could be really, really fun. But this was different. From the moment he set eyes on the cave- tunnel- whatever, Sasuke had been scared. Naruto didn't get it. Like yeah, it's a big hole inside a mountain. Kind of dark, rickety, and dangerous, but since when did a little danger bother Sasuke?
"It's okay, ya know," Naruto tried to calm the agitated prince.
Sasuke ignored him and resumed pacing. "Here's the plan."
"Geez, who died and made you king?" Naruto crossed his arms with a childish huff.
"Fire Lord Madara is dead?" Sai tilted his head in apparent confusion.
"No, Sai, it's an expression," Sakura explained.
"I can't see his face from this angle."
"Not a facial expression, Sai. It's like- just forget it."
Sai shrugged. "Okay."
"If everyone would kindly shut up," Sasuke snapped, "and pay attention for one minute."
"Now listen, asshole, if anyone's the leader here, it's me. I have se-sen-sen- Eto."
Sasuke pressed two fingers to the space between his eyebrows. "Seniority," he supplied reluctantly.
Naruto nodded. "Un. That."
"Look at you finishing each other's sentences. Kakashi-san would be proud."
"Sai, I swear to god." Naruto groaned at the same time Sasuke asked, "What are you implying?"
"See? There's no way anyone should take orders from someone this dense."
"Who's dense," Sasuke grabbed the front of The Avatar's robes, "You absolutely idiotic, incorrigible, dead-last loser?"
"You are, you jerk," Naruto leaned forward, glaring hotly, "You are literally too dense to know when people are calling you dense, to your face. And you say I'm an idiot? Ha!"
"Not listen here-"
"Sasuke!"
"Naruto!"
"Everybody shut up!" Sakura's roar echoed through the cave.
-dy shut up… Shut up… Up…
"Here's what we're going to do. This isn't a normal cave. Did I give you permission to speak?" Sasuke deflated and Naruto rapidly shook his head "-thought so. Sai, you have ink and parchment?"
"Always, cousin."
"Good. Draw a map as we go along. I'll lead, so give me the torch. Sasuke-kun, hold up the rear. How long can you sustain a flame?"
"As long as I have to."
Naruto rolled his eyes. Cocky bastard.
"Excellent. You'll guard the back. What about you, Naruto?"
"Un, un, me too!" Kakashi was kind enough to teach him some basics. So what if Naruto still didn't understand any of it? Necessity is the mother of forcing you to randomly master new bending techniques.
"Dobe, you can't light a candle without causing an explosion."
One time. It happened one time, a week ago, and the jerk still wasn't letting it go.
"Fuck you!"
"Che. You wish."
"Finally," Naruto grinned, "You get it."
"What. Do. I. Get."
"If all goes well, my dick in y-"
"Enough, you two. Now is not the time. Naruto, just keep an eye on Kurama. Alright everyone, let's move out."
With a placating "Hai, hai" from Naruto, a saccharine "Yes, dear cousin" from Sai and the usual "Hn," from Sasuke, they were off.
"And guys? Under no circumstances will we split up. We will all get out of this in no time if we just stick together."
As if in response, low, moaning rumble shook the cave. There's nothing to fear, The Avatar reminded himself. To be a master bender, you have to master fear. Deep breath.
Crack.
Fuck it, he was terrified.
Naruto whimpered and latched onto an irate Sasuke. "Get off," he tried to push. Naruto only clung tighter.
"Sa-Sakura-chan?"
"Calm down Naruto, it's probably just…"
"Wind," Sai supplied, "A good sign. That means there is a way out and we just have to find it."
Right. The wind. The wind is totally capable of making distant cracking noises and causing rock slides and all that other shit. It was totally just wind.
