I have reviewers! Yeah, me!
Afeenaninganing- I think I've already done that…
Red Mage 04- Ummm… Dark Jak is, uh, hibernating! Yeah, that's it, ahahahaha…
Dark Jak: (glares) I don't hibernate!
Animedragongirl: (stuffs Dark Jak in a crate) Uh, oh, look at that, the window's open! The wind just blew in!
Dark Jak: (shakes crate, which is made of three tons of reinforced steel) Bang! Bang!
CursedAvenger- Thanks for the previews, they made me feel somewhat better… I still feel a little under the weather, but so far, I've recovered. I think this has something to do with my friend's brother, I got to see him again… he's cute, XD And thanks for the review! This is such an honor, being reviewed by you!
LunarSquirrel- Thanks for the fav and alert, you are the fifth person to do both D this makes me happy, but when they get to nine, good things shall happen to me. Nine is my lucky number! Thanks for the idea, but I don't think I'll do that… that would make him too sad. And I've already got Dark Jak- er, haha, I mean Jynx and Razor after me.
Jynx: I'm gonna kill you! (starts chasing animedragongirl with lots of explosives)
Razor: (powers up racing car and speeds after already fleeing author) DIE!
Dark Jak: (pathetically rocks steel box)
Jaklover123- Several of my best friends are bi… I don't love them any less for it. If Razor is homo for sure, then we can put him up with Errol on that level. Me? I'm a yaoi fangirl myself.
WARNING: Everyone is bashed in this chapter. I blame my most recent book and Will Cuppy.
I also wrote this part of the Author's Note at four in the afternoon.
7. The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody
Jak sneezed. Again. For the 1,928,738,927,483,746,293,867,469th time that day.
Unfortunately, he accidentally started something of a trend when Torn sneezed, then Ashelin, THEN Keira, and finally a sorry-looking gloomily sober Razor.
"If someone had ever told me I would spend the day sneezing until I sneezed 1,928,738,927,483,746,293,867,469 times, I would say they were as screwed as hell," our hero commented rather thickly.
No one answered; other than Torn, who just sneezed, and set off another trend that had Razor sneezing five times in quick succession.
Keira absently petted the depressed ottsel on the head as he gasped for breath. "We… ACHOO!... have to figure out a way to get rid of this crappy powder! ACHOO!" she sneezed out. Isn't that a funny word? Sneezing/sneeze/sneezes? Kind of like soliloquy!
Ashelin and Torn sneezed simultaneously. And they both simultaneously smashed heads so that Jak and Keira simultaneously started laughing. And then THEY started simultaneously sneezing! And then little lions started popping out of… somewhere… and dancing to "Only in Kenya" with some tigers… and I think my plot is diminishing miserably. Hello, I have those little tigers and lions from that flash movie appearing in my story!
And so, once again, Razor sighed gloomily. He did this before? WHY WASN'T I TOLD? I mean, it's not breaking the laws of physics (My friend already did that… she made Jak trip in Jak III by making him run around in little circles… I did it in Sandover.), but still… it at least makes hell freeze over. Oh wait, I did that too. NEVER MIND!
"Maybe Samos will know," Torn suggested, and broke out sneezing once again from holding it in for so long.
"Yeah!" Jak said, and sneezed. "He should… ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! Know, he's a green… ACHOO! Sage! ACHOO!" Okay, how many sneezes has that been? Between now and before, he's sneezed about twenty times.
So, they ventured on a long and grueling journey(approximately two rooms over, made worse by the fact that they kept sneezing and ricocheting into each other from the force of the sneeze… my sister did this into the side of the pool and the counter) to Samos. Razor was, of course, by this time so exhausted he could barely stand up straight. Keira was now carrying him, as Torn, Ashelin, and Jak hated him too much. Keira just felt sorry for him.
Readers: Awwwwwwwwwwwww!
Author: (starts banging head on the keyboard) GET. OUT. OF. MY HEAD.
Readers: (all laugh maniacally)
"What's the problem?" Samos said in his old man/sagely/annoying voice. Needless to say, he started off another sneezing rampage.
"Sneezing powder?" He asked dryly. You all know what happens next by now.
"All right then. To make the antidote, you must bring me ten Metal Head skull gems."
"Jak? Do you… ACHOO! Have ten skull gems on you?"
Jak shook his head. Keira sighed, then sneezed. "I was afraid of that."
All at once, a llama burst in!
…then it blew up. Whatever. Why do I bother?
Just then, Razor sneezed. This made him ricochet out of Keira's arms and hit a zoomer, somehow hotwiring it and making it start, and making it zoom(with him still on it) straight toward Spargus at breakneck speed.
Everyone stared. And sneezed. Okay, how many people have I done away with so far?
And so, Jak and co. headed out of the city(sneezing pathetically all the way) to hunt Metal Heads. Of course, they did everything but get killed because this is stupid and the prank war isn't over yet.
"Jak! ACHOO! To your left!" Keira screamed. Jak sneezed and slammed backward into the Metal Head, effectively killing it.
Torn jumped for the skull gem…
…and found himself…
…on the ground. He'd sneezed and rocketed backward.
Ashelin grabbed the skull gem and shoved it into the bag, then sneezed so hard she dropped the bag and fell off the cliff. Oh well; we'll miss her, but she'll be back by next chapter.
And of course, Torn had to go and do the same thing, except without the bag. Well, that and the fact he walked into a tree first.
So… somehow… Jak and Keira made it back to the city. They only just made it before the spot where they had been hunting Metal Heads blew up, too.
So Samos gave them the antidote… which didn't work. So they walked to the Naughty Ottsel to see if Jynx had a good antidote.
They walked in. The bar was closed… again… for some strange reason. Daxter, Tess, and Jynx were all sitting at the bar. Sig was standing there, too.
"Hey Jynx… ACHOO! Do you have an antidote? ACHOO!"
Unfortunately, this sent Jak headfirst into the bar, and the impact promptly knocked him out cold.
"Jak! ACHOO!" Keira cried.
And then… Jynx fell over laughing, which resulted in knocking him out on the floor when he hit a strangely placed board. This knocked a shelf of bottles askew, and they all rolled off and hit Daxter on the head. This made him look like Daffy whenever he's hit by an anvil, and also knocked him into Tess, who tripped and fell against Sig, who… turned into a…
"Oh my… ACHOO! God! It's a llama!" Keira yelled. The llama that was Sig kicked her, and she fell through a black hole that mysteriously appeared in the floor. The llama then walked into a pipe, and turned back into Sig. Thus, all the characters were effectively knocked out… And Sig will have a very peculiar side effect when he wakes up…
"And now, children!" Samos, said, popping up out of nowhere. "This is what happens when you start a prank war!"
This startled the author and the readers, because they were all falling asleep. They then proceeded to throw boots, tomatoes, pewter plates, llamas, bricks, potatoes, cheesecakes, oranges, rakes, doorknobs, and tablets at the screaming sage as he ran for cover.
And now, we shall draw a close on this frankly stupid and idiotic scene… as there is no point to go on until next chapter… or until Samos is dead. Have it either way.
A/n- I was listening to flash movies while writing this… You can find them at:
Numa Numa: http: (doubleslash)albinoblacksheep(dot)com(slash)flash(slash)numa(dot)php
Lions in Kenya: http: (doubleslash)www(dot)albinoblacksheep(dot)com(slash)flash(slash)kenya(dot)php
Llama song: http: (doubleslash)albinoblacksheep(dot)com(slash)flash(slash)llama(dot)php
If you want more, e-mail me, and I will give you more funny sites.
If someone can guess the thing I named this chapter after and the creator's name, then I will give you a cookie.
If you have read/watched/listened to that particular thing, and know what I am talking about, then I shall love you forever. I dare say the creator will, too. He's dead.
Okay… Yes, I have pretty much lost my mind. I'm still sick. It's driving me nuts. I slept all day yesterday…(I didn't have to go to school…)…(Well, I did, but I stayed home instead…)… so I couldn't sleep. I'm posting this later today(it's 1:31 a.m. right now), just in case I get more reviewers to respond to.
Yeah. So.
-animedragongirl
