That Little Extra Push

Chapter Seven: Rose

Ron couldn't change a diaper. He had miraculously made it almost three weeks without having to change one. However, Hermione had gotten called into work for a couple of hours, so she dropped Rose off with Ron in his office at the ministry. He spent the first fifteen minutes or so showing off his new baby daughter to others around the auror office. He then went about his business catching up on paperwork while Rosie napped.

Rose had turned out to be a very easy baby according to Ron's mum and sisters-in-law. Of course she cried and only slept for a few hours at a time, but she seemed to be tough already. She didn't get too upset when she was taken new places or met new people. In fact, she seemed rather inquisitive. She was too much like her mother.

Ron sat back, a smug grin on his face as he filed the last of his paperwork for the week. He looked at his watch; Hermione would be back in ten minutes. He looked over to where Rosie lay in her carrier to find her eyes open. "How about that Rosie. Your daddy is so awesome, he has actually finished his work early." Rose locked eyes with him, listening intently. "I wish you could talk. Your mum won't believe it when I tell her. She seems to think I am a bit lazy sometimes."

He lifted Rose and began to show her around his office. He pointed out various certificates and awards, giving special attention to his Order of Merlin, First Class. When he started to recount the tale of how he earned that honor, his nose caught a whiff of something rather rank. "Now, Rosie," he scolded. "You couldn't wait ten more minutes to do that?"

Ron cleared away some items from his desk and laid the baby on top of a blanket he took from the bag Hermione packed. He unbuttoned her onesie, unpinned her diaper, and gagged. There was no way in bloody hell a little girl could make that kind of mess, but this one had. Yes, she was Ron's child. He cleaned her up fairly quickly and grabbed the cloth Hermione used to make the diaper. (Ron would have been perfectly happy with those disposable Muggle diapers Harry and Ginny used, but Hermione had insisted on reusable ones.)

So, Ron, after having been a father for almost three weeks, had to figure out how to change a diaper with no help.

This is why Ron stood in front of his desk folding and refolding, wrapping and rewrapping, pinning and repinning. He just could not get the diaper to work right. First, he couldn't fold the fabric right. His next several attempts were wasted pricking himself with the pins. Last, when he was able to get the diaper onto Rose, it was too big. It fell right off when he picked her up.

"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed. "Bloody stinking hell!" He continued his rant as he placed her back on his desk to put the diaper back on. He didn't hold back, either. It wasn't as if she understood him anyway.

A small giggle interrupted him. Ron instantly shut up. He hadn't heard his daughter giggle yet, and Hermione hadn't said anything about it. "What was that rose petal? Was that a giggle? Did you giggle for Daddy?" Her face lost all hints of the smile and became confused. "Damn. Your mother is going to expect proof of this. Damn. Damn. Damn!"

Another giggle rang. Ron took notice. She appeared to like his vulgar mouth.

"Troll bogeys." Giggle.

"Dickhead monkey bugger." Giggle.

"Bastard arsehat!" Giggle.

"Wanking pissant prat!" Giggle.

"Merlin's saggy ballsa-"

"RONALD!" Ron jumped at the sound of his wife yelling his name. He hadn't even heard the door open. Rose, on the other hand, couldn't get enough. She was full out laughing now and kicking her scrawny little legs. Hermione looked simply livid and stormed across the room. "What. Are. You. Doing. To. Our. Daughter?" Her finger dug into his chest, punctuating each word.

"I-I-I wasn't doing anything…okay, I-I might have been using some…choice phrases-"

"Choice phrases my arse!" Hermione was fuming. "She may not understand language yet, but we really can't get into the habit of saying whatever we want around her. Eventually, she will understand, and she will repeat-" She was intersected when Ron placed his hand over her mouth.

"Shut up, Hermione. You are missing the point of all this." Hermione proceeded to struggle in an attempt to free herself from Ron's grasp. Ron, though, was too strong. "Watch and listen." He looked toward Rose who was still lying on the desk, giggles all but forgotten. "Barmy codger's manky bollocks." On cue, Rose's laughter resumed.

Ron felt Hermione stiffen against him. He carefully removed her hand from her mouth, and she inched toward her daughter. "Ron. She giggled…our little rose petal giggled! I haven't heard her giggle yet!" She reached toward her daughter with nothing but amazement on her face.

Ron moved to stand next to her over their pride and joy. "I know. It's something right? She just started giggling when I said…one of those choice phrases, and well, you walked in on the rest."

As Hermione lifted Rose from the desk, Ron turned to gather the bag and carrier. "Ron?"

"Hm?

"Do you have any idea why Rose's diaper just fell off?"