Chapter 6

Two months later.

Jimmy was always supportive of his wife's artistic streak, but when it came to space Angela's artistic streak was taking over the house. They decided she must sort through her work but Jimmy did not seem up to this task and had jokingly suggested she should ask Richard. So Angela did just that. Knowing Richard had a large appreciation for her work she was delighted when he agreed to help her and they decided on an afternoon to complete the task. Jimmy was also incredibly grateful to his friend and headed out to leave them to it.

When Richard arrived he found every bit of available space was covered with sketches, she had left a small path so he would be able to get through the door but that was it.

"You can see why Jimmy wants me to sort them, I didn't realise I had done so many." Angela said with a smile and she fancied she saw a slight smile from Richard in return. The ones of Tommy were easily decided on and she soon found there were many drafts that she could easily throw on the fire. After half an hour she stopped to make them both some coffee, she was now able to persuade Richard to take some at her house but she would always leave the room so while he drank it. Whilst she prepared the drinks Richard continued to look over her past work, he always enjoyed discussing this with Angela. Art didn't interest him in general but Angela's talent made her an exception, he put it down to the fact they were friends so he had a reason to care. As his eye skimmed over the work his eyes were drawn to a familiar face, at first he wasn't sure but picking it up and examining it closer there was no mistaking it. It was Nell Byrnes face.

Angela returned and placed the cups down, pleased Richard was taking a closer inspection and drawing near him she noticed the picture in question.

"Oh I forgot about these, yes I did a few of her." She explained and pointed one or two other's out to Richard.

"When. Hmm. Did you do them?" He asked.

"Not long after your accident, she asked me to paint her daughter but I took a few sketches of her too. She didn't know, I thought she'd get embarrassed."

Placing one drawing down Richard examined the others and the next to capture his attention was one of Nell where her hair was different, it had come looser at the time this picture was drawn and it suited her better. The sad look Angela had captured did not escape him either and he found his heart go out to her a little, how could it not after her kindness to him?

"Was she. Hmm. Not well here?"

"I think she was preoccupied." Angela answered. "I think I have one or two of Elsa as well."

Angela searched and found the ones she spoke of and showed them to Richard, he placed them flat on the table with the ones of Nell and he looked at them for some time. So long in fact that Angela asked.

"Would you like one or two of them?"

Richard snapped out of his observations and moved away, a little embarrassed but Angela came close to him and brought him back.

"Which ones would you like?" She asked softly. "I didn't want to embarrass you."

Richard didn't know, he easily decided on the picture of Elsa but he was at a quandary when it came to the ones of Nell. One some she looked so happy, those eyes he had marvelled at looked clear and wide, but then he found himself struck by the way her hair fell on the others though the sad expression was painful to observe.

"You. Hmm. Captured them. Very well."

Angela picked up one of each of Nell and one of Elsa and handed them to Richard.

"There's no need to choose between them now." She said kindly and she watched as Richard took them from her and held onto them not quite sure what to do. Angela held out a larger piece of paper she had folded in half and instructed him to place them within it.

"That way Jimmy won't see."

"Thank you."

Richard walked along the street not really taking in his surroundings, it was one of those walks to nowhere in particular that intended to clear his mind. All that was about him seemed busy and uncaring about his presence so he just concentrated on the rhythm his own footfall made and he tried not to think. The sky was bright blue and he imagined the beaches would be crowded today, such a gathering made him shun the sea, he could cope with its indifference but not peoples.

But suddenly as his eyes focused a little he saw a porch coming up on his left and on the steps he saw someone stood as though waiting for him. At first the sun was in his eye and he could not make out anymore than a silhouette but finally the rays were kind and relented. And there she stood, her pale blue skirt flapping lightly in the breeze and her hand resting on the rail.

He suddenly felt scared, like he wanted to run away but his feet betrayed him and made him keep on walking till at last he was before her, she a little higher than him because of the steps. Her hair was smartly done up at the back, but the breeze had released a few tendrils to flutter against her neck and their chocolate depths shone in a velvety sheen. Slowly he climbed one step, his face more or less level with hers and she looked at him, those big, deep eyes seducing him with their gentleness.

Self consciously he brought his hand to his face and felt the cool tin of his mask beneath his callous fingertips. It saddened him and he looked down, ashamed for her to see him this close but he felt that familiar hand go to his shoulder and rest there softly. It remained there until he dare look up again and when he did their eyes locked for a moment and then she turned and opened the door of the house. He followed her in, desperately wanting to speak, to tell her he'd not forgotten her but she let him pass then slowly closed the door behind him. He turned around to look at her, to marvel at her, she was so beautiful to him it was painful. She took a step closer and his heart lurched, his palms felt clammy and his mouth dried up of words he urgently wanted to say. Her hands moved to either side of his neck and the finger ends weaved together at the back and she took another step closer, her light breath blowing against his face. His stomach fluttered and every hair seemed to stand on end with longing. He heard the fabric of her dress rustle slightly as it brushed against his jacket, then slowly, ever so slowly she brought her lips to his and kissed him.

Time seemed to stop, the delicious, softness of her lips and the pressure seemed to linger for an age, but they were the catalyst of a strange surge of joy. Her hands slipped behind his neck pulling herself closer to him and she continued to kiss him. He found his own hands coming up and gently resting on her waist and he returned her kiss with fevered tenderness. Ever so slowly he backed her a few paces till her back touched the wall, she relaxed against it and his body pressed against hers. She gave a sort of sigh against his mouth and this grip on her waist tightened but their loving kiss continued lazily. At last he broke it and he felt himself be pulled into an embrace where his head went to the crook of her neck and he rested his forehead on her shoulder. He inhaled the scent of her and revelled in the warmth of her as she hugged him a little tighter and he felt like he'd arrived somewhere at last.

Then came the cruellest waking since the time he'd frightened Emily, his imagination decided he'd had enough bliss filled dreams for one sleep. There was nothing harsher than his own mind, it seemed to treat him worse than anyone else. Why would he do this to himself he thought angrily? He sat up abruptly, running his hands through his hair, his body heavy with disappointment and aching for affection and love. How he wanted to be enveloped in the arms of a woman who loved him.

He was now in a black mood and he knew he wouldn't be going back to sleep, he wanted to jump into a deep pond or lake and chill away this hope and if he was lucky to never resurface. He got up and paced his room a few times, not bothering to put his mask on. Finally he turned on the lamp and the light was a little bit more comforting than the blackness of night time. He stood for a moment and collected himself then looked towards his desk, there lay his Bible. His head bowed and he shook it but then resolved to sit before the work of his own torture and hope. He flicked through quickly; not paying much attention to a lot of his own work but stopped when he reached that of Angela's.

On parallel pages were the sketches of Elsa and Nell, his fingers touched the one of the small child, the little elf who had called him her 'friend' when they had barely spoken. What kind of father would not want to know such a lovely child? This started to make him angry and so his eyes moved over to the picture of Nell. He looked at the sadness in her eyes and an overwhelming urge to protect her filled him. He knew what loneliness and sadness was, he knew about the vicious twists of fate and never wished those evils on anyone. But even in sadness she was so lovely to behold, everything about her seemed tailor made to draw him to her in the many ways that pull a man to a woman. Richard had not forgotten her or any little kindness she'd showed him but until the picture was put before him earlier today he had not allowed himself to dwell on her for long. Yet here he was dreaming of her waiting for him, to pull him into her arms with love and acceptance. Her touch had churned up feelings he hadn't felt in a long time and now he longed for even such small things again. She would never look at him like that he thought, no one could look at him and choose him willingly, his only chance would be for her to see something inside of him. But he wasn't sure there was anything inside either. So what was to be done? Picking up the scrapbook Richard returned to lying on his bed, holding it up so he could examine it and dreaming of how they would meet again.