A/N: Oh my Kira, I am FINALLY back! I have regained confidence... for now, I guess. And now, for you and your patience, a longer-than-usual chapter!
Remember: Readers are friends, reviewers are best friends!
I still don't own the wonderful show of Ouran. *Sad face*
Hikaru's P.O.V.
I feel so
Dumb
For not letting
Myself
Love you...
The hosting hour was over, and Kaoru and I had returned home after an awkwardly quiet limo ride. I have recently cleaned myself in our shared shower, I now sat on our shared bed, in our shared room, as Kaoru was taking a shower in our shared bathroom.
God, if we share all of these things, then why did I suddenly turn down on sharing our love? It pained me, his reaction, and It still does as I think about it.
"But we can't do this!"
"What!?"
I hold so many regrets in my heart, brain, gut, everywhere. I hate hurting my brother just as much as the next overly attached twin. His expression as he called out in shock was that of an empty, sad puppy... if that makes sense.
I look up as I hear a door opening. I see Kaoru walk into our room with nothing but a towel on around his waist. I must say, he looks absolutely delectable like this. Am I really identical to such an angel?
But all he does is avoid eye contact by staring at his feet as he walks to retrieve his clothes.
"Kaoru? I say, hoping for a response.
Nothing.
I slumped down in my position, now realizing that I have already been sitting in a slouching position. He won't talk to me... I must have REALLY hurt him.
Unexpectedly, Kaoru just drops the towel and continues to get dressed as if nothing happened. Or, as if I'm not even there. I can't tell which, exactly. I find myself staring for a little bit, but quickly look away as I feel my cheeks heat up. Kaoru quickly finishes getting dressed, and walks up to me.
"Hikaru, can I talk with you?" Kaoru asks in a quiet, shy tone.
My head shoots up to look at him, hoping for eye contact. Once again, he's looking away. But at least he spoke up, am I right?
"Of course," I respond.
Kaoru took a deep breath. "Well, about what happened earlier," he began. "I-I'm sorry..."
I looked at him, confused. "Sorry?" I questioned. "Kaoru, if anything, I should be the one apologizing!"
"I'm apologizing for-" Kaoru's sentence got cut off as we heard knocking at our door. "Yes?" Kaoru asks, irritatedly.
The voices of the twin maids chimed. "We are her to inform you that dinner's ready," they said.
"Okay," Kaoru and I say at the same time. After they walk away, Kaoru returns to what he was saying. "Anyways, I'm apologizing for being so sudden with the whole, 'I love you' thing. I must have been awkward," he said.
I shook my head. "K-Kaoru, you have no real reason to apologize," I said. "Really, it should be me. I kiss you, run away, and when you confess I suddenly turn you down!? How much worse can I get?"
Kaoru looked at me, finally making the much anticipated eye contact. "Well... just know that I accept your apology, Hikaru. I'm gonna go get dinner," he says, walking off. He stopped at the door, turned, and asked; "Are you coming?"
I thought for a second. "I'm just gonna make a quick phone call and I'll be down," I replied, scrambling off the bed to grab my phone out of my school bag.
"Okay," Kaoru said, shutting the door behind him as he left the room.
I dialed the phone number, waiting through three ringings, and finally, the desired person answered.
"Yes?" I hear the deep yet feminine voice. "Isn't this a bit, er, sudden?"
"Yeah, whatever. I know I just got your number and all, but I need to talk," I respond.
"Speak," she insisted.
I sighed. "Kaoru apologized for confessing, when he shouldn't have had to feel sorry! I apologized for the whole kiss-run-decline situation, y'know, the good reason to apologize, and he just accepted it and left!" I explained. "I don't know, Thurston, I'm just really confused. Why would he feel bad? Why would he suddenly feel as if I were the victim?"
"Hikaru, though your idiot brain may not have realized it, chances are that he knows that he's the victim. He probably just apologized so he wouldn't feel that way. Now, I'm not saying that that's the only reason. It also seems as though he really is sorry for the sudden declaration of love. A lot of people do it, and a lot of people feel that way afterwards," Thurston replied. "Now, my brother is bugging me. I should probably go."
"No! Wait!" I said, maybe a little too loudly. "Why can't we keep talking?"
"Because, now my brother is accusing me of cheating on my boyfriend with the likes of you," Thurston said. "Plus, you probably have something to do. And I don't care if you're still confused, you can talk with me later. Just act natural around Kaoru, okay?"
"But!"
She hung up. I groaned out of slight disappointment. "I heard that Americans are rude and all, but sheesh..." I grumbled. I stood up, still a little slouched, and walked downstairs to get my dinner.
Why, why must I be so confused?
I get my platter and settle down next to Kaoru in front of a television.
"Took you long enough," Kaoru teased. "Who did you call?"
"A friend," I said. Hey, it's not a COMPLETE lie.
"Which one, though?" he asked, again.
"Thurston," I mumbled, sounding unintentionally irate.
"Jeez bro, sorry I asked."
I didn't mean to sound angry! I thought but never said. Instead, I paid attention to what was on the screen ahead of us. We were watching this American show that Thurston mentioned, a show called Supernatural. Kaoru and I like to watch it together, make comments on it, but as we watched this episode, nearly nothing was said.
And I didn't like that empty atmosphere. Not. One. Bit.
Confused and worried
Is what I am
Oh
I'm truly sorry
Kaoru...
