Hey you all! I promised I'd be back with another chapter soon didn't I? (Yay for me!! Lol!!)

Okay, so after writing this really cheesy valentine's chapter I had to move the story along a bit and Addison's now in her 6th month. I probably have to tell you that I'm kind of a drama queen (at least when it comes to writing) and that there will be more drama coming up in the next chapters than there has been so far, so be prepared!

BTW thanks to HuntingPeace for pointing out that Addison shouldn't be drinking wine on their Valentines-Date, which is of course so true! I guess I was just completely trapped in my pink and fluffy Valentine's day bubble that I forgot about the triplets for a moment! Sorry about that (I did go back there and changed it, so they're drinking grape-juice now!;)

Thanks for all the generous reviews I got for the last chaps! You guys are just awesome!

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own anything.


Chapter 7 - Scared

6 months along

Alex and Addison had had two unbelievably wonderful months after the proposal. For Addison it felt like they were living their lifes in a dream bubble. Everything else just didn't matter as long as they had each other and the babies. Everything bad, everything that might have ruined their "happy place" wasn't allowed inside their imaginary world and was simply ignored. To top the whole thing off, with their extremely bright-and-shiny-ness, they managed to piss almost everyone at the hospital off, especially Mark and Derek had a resentful reaction towards the hospital's new dream-couple, which didn't exactly make work easier for Alex. However, today was gonna be different for them in a shocking kind of way.

They didn't know that a bubble could burst in the fragment of a second and they certainly weren't prepared for it.

The day started off like any other. They went to work together and arranged to have lunch at 1 pm in the cafeteria. Addison was a little frustrated because she wasn't allowed to operate anymore, but she had to admit, that due to the enormous size of her belly, it would probably be impossible for her to deliver another child when she couldn't even see her feet anymore. So she let it go and settled for paperwork and consults instead, being happy that she wasn't stuck at home alone all day.

In fact she had just finished a consult and was leaning comfortably against the counter of the nurse's station on the maternity floor when Alex came up to her with a grin on his face.

"Ms. Montgomery, you're already here! Come with me please!" He said, smirking at her but Addison didn't know what to make of it.

"Alex what are you doing?" She asked when he took her arm and led her towards an empty exam room.

"You're my next patient, didn't Samantha tell you?" He said still smiling. He held the door open for her and closed it again when they were both inside.

"No, but I just talked to her a couple of minutes ago and she didn't mention anything! So either she must be really forgetful or you're lying!" She assessed

"Fine you got me, come on Addie, I just wanna do one ultrasound, please!" He begged her with his eyes and Addison tried to give him her best death stare.

"Please Addie, I just wanna check on my children. I wanna be a good dad!" He tried again.

"You're gonna have enough time to prove that you're a good dad when they're born! For the one hundredth time: You're not my doctor!" She said before reading the disappointed look on his face.

"Alex, we have an appointment in two weeks." She tried to convince him to drop it.

"I know Addison, but it's just an abdominal ultrasound, I promise I won't even look down there!" He told her, pointing towards her legs. "Not that I have any problems with that, you know what I mean!" He said and she just rolled her eyes.

"Fine" She sighed, leaning against the exam table. Alex helped her to get onto it since any kind of exercise had become nearly impossible for Addison.

"But you know it's too late to see whether one of our girls has turned into a boy. Not that that's gonna happen anyway…." She said and smirked up at him from the table.

"Shut up and lift up your scrub top!" Alex ordered with a smirk on his face when he squeezed the cold gel onto her huge belly.

"Hey, that gel is cold!!" She complained (not that she didn't know that that gel was cold, she probably had said that to over 1000 patients so far but she needed something to bitch about, since she let Alex boss her around). She gasped a little when he gently placed the wand on her abdomen. He slowly moved it around and Addison couldn't help but notice how professional he already handled the machine.

But then he suddenly stopped without a warning.

At first Addison didn't think that it mattered, that he was just looking at one of the girls with an ever growing smile on his face but then she looked up at him and saw that there was no smile, no goofiness that usually surrounded his features when he watched the girls on the monitor. No, what she saw was pure concern and maybe even fear. He didn't look at her, which immediately made her panic level rise because he didn't take his damn eyes off of that screen. Addison's body started to shiver while she was waiting for a response, for a look, for anything that told her that there was nothing wrong but she didn't get it. She just got pure agony. No relieve. It seemed as though there was something heavy lying on her chest because somehow she could barely breathe, let alone speak. Addison started to hyperventilate when Alex finally realised that maybe he should do something.

First he placed the transducer back on its usual spot next to the ultrasound machine and then he quickly moved to take Addison's hands into his own. She was still breathing heavily. How could he do this to her? He asked himself while trying to calm her down.

"Addison, breathe honey, you need to take slow, deep breaths. Breathe for me. That's good" He placed one hand on her head, stroking it ever so slowly, giving her the comfort that she needed.

When he thought that she had finally calmed down enough he looked at her.

"Alex show me the screen" She commanded

"I think, I better page Samantha" Alex answered without moving from her side

"Alex, what's going on?" She asked but he still didn't move.

"ALEX!" She finally screamed, the words echoing through the room sending shivers up and down his spine. "SHOW ME THE DAMN SCREEN!" He realised that there was no other way, he couldn't say it out loud so he just turned the screen around for her so that she could see the last image that he made of one of the girls. A big lump started to form in her throat when she spotted what Alex had seen only minutes earlier.

AddexAddexAddexAddexAddexAddex

"What do we do now?" Alex asked while squeezing Addison's hand tightly to support her.

"That's the hard part. We can't do anything until she's born. After the birth we have to do some tests to see how damaged her heart is but before we're able to do an echo and an EKG we can't be sure. I really can't give you any more information right now. I can only tell you that she'll probably need surgery, although not all AVSD-cases do, but the chances that she doesn't require surgery are quit small, I'm sorry."

Alex flinched at the thought of his little daughter being cut open. Even though he'd assisted on several of those surgeries, he'd never thought he'd be one of the scared parents sitting in the waiting area.

"What are her odds?" Alex asked with a shaky voice, trying desperately to keep it together. Addison had completely shut everything and everyone out since she'd seen the picture and so he needed to be strong for both of them.

"Usually with single births 90 percent pull through, when they can be carried to full term. However, since they're multiples she most likely will be premature so that slimes her chances slightly. We're gonna do anything in our power to put surgery off for a while, so that she can gather more strength. Some children can even go the first two years without needing the operation."

Alex nodded in understanding, but Addison didn't move. She didn't give any sign that she heard what they were talking about. Instead she just lay on her side on the exam table, facing Alex. Her eyes were fixed on his face but she looked right through him.

"Addison, I'm sorry, I know you're gonna hate this, but I've got to put you on total bed rest till your delivery. We need to keep the babies in your womb as long as possible, so that triplet C can become strong enough for the procedures that are ahead of her. I'd even like to have you admitted but I know that Alex's gonna take good care of you, so you can do this at home."

Before Samantha turned to leave she looked back and saw a broken figure sitting on a chair. Not the sometimes obnoxious and cocky resident she got to know over the past months. Obviously they were both devastated and being doctors with all the medical knowledge only fed their fear. So she had to say something, anything to give them only the smallest bit of faith back.

"There's hope Alex. You know that children with heart defects are able to lead normal lifes. I know it's gonna be hard on both of you, but I'm there for you guys if you need me, okay?"

"Thanks" Alex muttered and when the door behind Samantha slammed shut he turned towards a quiet Addison who was still lying motionlessly on the table.

She was in shock, not able to move, feel or let alone speak. An emotional numbness had overcome her the moment she had seen that one of her girls was sick.

"Did you hear that Addie? There's a good chance that she'll be okay!" Alex told her while stroking her head lightly but she still didn't react, so he thought it probably would be best to get her out of the hospital because everything here had to remind her of the fact that one of their babies wasn't healthy. He carefully scooped her up, which was quite the achievement considering that she was 6 months pregnant but of course he didn't complain.

He slowly carried her down the hallway and was more than relieved when Addison rested her head on his shoulder, which was the first physical contact that she'd made with him since they found out about the heart defect. When he walked passed the nurses station he could already hear the rumours being spread, passed on from nurse to nurse with possible reasons why Karev would be carrying his fiancée around and why they had been inside and exam room for almost an hour. Just when he reached the elevators Callie came up to them with an extremely concerned look on her face.

"What happened?" She asked in a huff when Alex pressed the down-button and he realised that it probably wouldn't be good to announce this to the entire hospital. He leaned over so that he was able to whisper into Callie's ear.

"Can you come over later? I'll explain it then" He told her and she nodded, still looking scared.

"Listen, can you tell Grey or Izzie to check on my patients in 4216 and 4218? They also have to take over my interns. I gotta take Addison home and I'm gonna call the Chief when we get there." She nodded again when the doors of the elevator sprung open.

The couple got on and when the doors closed Callie did everything Alex had asked her to do. She was determined to get off early tonight, so that she would be able to check on her friend.

AddexAddexAddexAddexAddexAddex

When Callie arrived at their house in the evening she was extremely worn out because next to handling her own surgeries she wasn't able to take her thoughts off of Addison and what might be wrong with her or the babies. When she hovered in front of the door she decided that ringing the bell wasn't a good idea, just in case they were sleeping. Instead she settled for knocking on the front door and after a few minutes an exhausted and dishevelled looking Alex opened it, holding it ajar for her to enter.

"Alex what's going on with Addison? Is she sick?" She demanded before she even thought of following the resident into the living room where he had already disappeared without even greeting her.

"No, she's not sick, but one of the babies is!" He told her quietly, almost inaudible for her to hear so she went after him into the living room. There were medical journals spread out on the floor and heavy textbooks were sitting on the table, leaving only the couch to be the only place to sit down. Callie leaned over one of the medical books to get a better look. She only had to read the title to finally know what was going on.

"Atrioventricular septal defect, oh no, Alex I'm so sorry. How bad is it?" She asked while taking a seat next to him.

"We don't know until she's born. I've been reading up on this all afternoon." He explained.

"But right now, she's not the one I'm most worried about. The little one is gonna have a good chance." Alex looked at Callie before he continued.

"I just don't know how to get through to her. She's completely shut me and everything else out. She hasn't said a word since we got the diagnosis." He told her with anxiety seeping through his voice. I just don't know what to do.

"Where is she?" Callie asked compassionately.

"She's upstairs in our bedroom" Alex answered. Callie already walked towards the stairwell when she hear Alex again "Thank you Torres" and she smiled lightly when she continued to climb the stairs towards the bedroom. On her way she passed the already decorated nursery with the cribs that Alex had surprised Addison with weeks ago.

A room further down the hall Addison lay on their bed facing the window and even though it was already dark outside she kept staring into the darkness like there might be a lifesaving solution for their baby girl, that was only hidden by the scary shades of the night.

She felt empty. No scratch that, not just empty. She felt like her insides had been torn out of her body cavity and all blood had been drained from her veins. Shock had taken over a long time ago and therefore all emotions had been blocked. She wasn't even able to cry, even though she really wanted and needed to, but like most of the time, her tear ducts had let her down.

She forced herself to take her eyes off of the window only to fix them on a cup of tea that had been placed on a coaster on her bedside table hours ago by her fiancée.

It had remained untouched the entire time.

He doesn't understand. He just doesn't. I'm the one carrying them. I can feel every movement, ever kick because their connected to me. They're meant to be healthy. They're supposed to grow up as strong and healthy kids! This is just not fair.

"No, you're right it's not fair!"

Addison's head shot towards the door. Apparently she'd said the last sentence out loud.

"Callie" Addison forces a smile on her face, but her friend couldn't be fooled.

The raven haired woman walked over to where Addison was lying and sat down on the bed next to her

"Alex told me. How are you holding up?" She asked compassionately, looking down on her friend with apprehension.

"Not too well I guess, I feel awfull and the worst thing is that I haven't even talked about it with him, he just seemed so distant and didn't know how to deal with me. I think he doesn't care enough" The statement came out hoarse since this was the first time she'd spoken in hours.

"What are you talking about Addison?" Callie asked confused.

"If he cares so much, then why isn't he more upset? One of our daughter's sick and he's acting all positive, telling me that she's gonna live and acting like it isn't a big deal."

"Oh Addison, I think you've got him mixed up with someone else. He does care, I believe he really does. This is just the way he chose to deal with this whole situation."

She paused for a second to make sure that her friend was really listening.

"Have you even looked at him since you got home?" She asked and Addison shook her head telling Callie that she hadn't.

"You're fiancée is currently downstairs studying everything on AVSD-cases that he can get his fingers on and honestly he looks horrible, like he hasn't slept in days." She informed her.

"Oh" was Addison's response to that and suddenly she started to feel something besides just empty. It almost felt like a little bit of guilt.

"Yes, "oh" would be the best word. Why won't you talk to him? He's really worried about you."

"I don't know. Maybe it's because it feels like everything is running in circles. First it was Alex's sister. Then there was that preemie that he got so attached to. They both had heart problems and they both di…" Addison couldn't bring herself to speak out the last word but of course Callie knew what she meant.

"Is that why you won't talk to him? Do you blame him for this? That's stupid Addison." She lectured her friend.

"No, of course not" Addison answered but she wasn't entirely sure about this, after all it could be genetic.

"Okay, I'll go now and you're gonna catch some sleep, understood?" Callie told her while rising from the bed. She knew that Addison didn't have the strength to get into a discussion right now but she made a mental note to come back and check on her the next day.

"Understood" Addison agreed "Can you tell Alex to come up?"

"Sure, anything else?"

"No but thank you Call." Addison told her before she resumed staring out of the window.

Was this truly happening? Was history really repeating itself? Alex's baby sister, the little preemie last year and now their own baby? They had nearly lost each other not too long ago. How could something like that happen to them again?

Little did she know that Alex, who was lying on his back on the floor of the living room, was thinking about the same thing.


I'm so sorry to leave it like that but I just felt I had to end it here! I hope you forgive me for that! I also have to mention that I got all the infos on AVSD on the internet, so I don't know whether everything is accurate, so don't throw food at me for that! Please R&R for me! I probably won't be able to update next week, since I'm going on vacation (Yay..:) but I'll be back asap, I promise! - Christine