A/N: Gosh darn this story is just getting good. Only a few more chapters left though. Enjoy :)
P.S: Let me just thank my wonderful beta, Freakish Sweetheart, for seriously kicking my ass into writing this. I don't think I would've gotten this done at all if it weren't for her. Seriously.
Now that I've officially caught you guys up with most of my soap opera life, I'd like to sum everything up. I haven't been so lucky the past week or two. For my birthday, I wished to have a chance to have Rachel Berry fall in love with me. I thought it was a simple wish but it went horribly wrong. I changed into a man with a very large mouth, joined the football team, and repeatedly got tackled by Finn Hudson on and off the field. I guess everything happens for a reason because I found out Rachel actually liked me as Quinn Fabray.
So now I'm back to square one. I'm a closeted cheerleader at McKinley high school but I'm not the only one. I have a 4.0 GPA and maybe I don't have a miserable life ahead of me like I first thought. But what's definitely changed is I don't completely loath Finn anymore. No, I've gotten past that in the past few days. He's just another Lima loser that'll probably take over glee club for Mr. Shue when they both figure out that no one else really cares what happens with it. That's not saying we don't want to win nationals or keep this club going while we're in it, but we all know that once high school is over we wouldn't care if this was turned into a meeting room for Alcoholics Anonymous or a classroom to teach older people to read for the city.
Oh and last but the most important thing of this entire monologue is that I have a shot with Rachel Barbra Berry now. I guess I always did. While I was looking at her look at Finn, I suppose I failed to realize that maybe she was looking at me too while I loathed away on how Finn's the human version of the Michelin tire mascot but somehow had a chance of being with the most talented and beautiful girl at McKinley High. Wow that was a long sentence. Anyways, now that that's changed, I could honestly say that I've never been happier. I have my old body back, Rachel maybe likes me more than a friend, and Finn is completely and totally out of the picture. Okay, maybe the last part isn't that true but a girl can wish right? Poor choice of words, I know.
Brittany helped me in my Cheerios uniform for my first day back at school, "Ugh I hate how naked I feel. Can't I just wear some pants or something?"
"No."
"Why not? I'm practically naked." I said while pointing to my exposed upper thighs.
Brittany stopped fussing over me for a second from being frustrated. She put her hands on her hips and gave me one of her mom looks, "Because you're Quinn Fabray, female that's head cheerleader of the Cheerios. Not Sam Evans, hunky male with the same pair of jeans on everyday."
"Hey! Those were my only pair of jeans." I said while crossing my arms, "It's not like I knew I would turn into a guy for my birthday. I don't even know how I'm back in my girl body so watch it."
"I'm guessing one of the things we did last night worked."
I laughed sarcastically, "Smoking a crayon helped my penis shrink? I doubt it Brit."
She started fussing over my Cheerios outfit again while making a pouting face, "If you didn't believe any of the stuff on the internet would help then why'd you do it?"
"Because I was desperate. You didn't see Rachel's face when she left me that message. It was like she thought I was purposefully ignoring her."
Brittany rolled her eyes before zipping up my Cheerio's top, "You kind of were. You ignored everyone as Quinn because you were Sam."
My shoulders slumped in defeat. She was right. I usually ignored everyone but not Rachel.. I didn't think she really cared that I was gone since she was getting Sam but I guess I was wrong about that one as well.
Can I just take a break over my self loathing for a second and explain how everything is so much harder as a girl. Shaving your legs, doing your hair and make up.. It's a lot of work. I didn't even want to bother with any of it so Brittany did most of the work for me because I kept getting frustrated. I still had little guy quirks about me that I couldn't shake away but I figured it was just all mental. I even contemplated just going to school in sweats in attempt to give up trying but Brittany said it wouldn't get Rachel to openly want to be with me. I guess she's right. Shit, I totally started self loathing again didn't I?
"Come on, we're gonna be late for school." Brittany said as she tightened my pony tail.
She took the short route to school and couldn't stop talking about how Santana reacted the night before, "Did you see her face? It was priceless right?"
"I don't know, she seemed like she was only going along with it because you seemed to believe it."
"No, she knew I was telling the truth. Why else wouldn't she want to stay around?"
I rolled my eyes at her attempts to defend herself, "Maybe she thought I still had mono and didn't want to catch it."
"Because she's never gotten mono before." Brittany said sarcastically.
"Okay, well I still doubt she believed us when you told her."
Brittany shrugged as we pulled into the school, "Maybe you're right."
I saw her lower lip jut out and I instantly regretted not entertaining her theory, "I'm sorry.. I'm being mean again aren't I? I didn't get much sleep last night, obviously. You've been there for me since day one and I haven't even thanked you."
"It's okay." She said as she gave a small smile, "You can make it up to me by giving me details about your man penis later."
I shook my head while trying to hold back a smile. It's weird how curious she was about it. But I suppose it'd be weirder if it was an everyday thing to grow one. I walked into the school with my hands set on my hips. I felt like I had control over the school again. Everyone looked at me like their queen had returned from the dead and parted like the red sea. When I turned the corner, I saw Rachel walk out of a classroom.
"Hey."I said as I tried walking faster to catch up to her.
Rachel quickly turned around and smiled, "Quinn?" She wrapped her arms around me tightly. "I missed you so much, where have you been?"
I felt like the breath in my lungs got knocked out of me as I took in her words and embrace, "I missed you too.."
I don't think she knew the meaning behind my words and I'm sure she didn't know that I understood the meaning of her words but that didn't matter to me. All that mattered was that I was in her arms for that short-lived second and it meant everything.
"Everything's been so crazy while you were gone. You missed it all the insane drama around here."
"I heard.. Anything I should be worried about?" I said in a flirtatious tone that I don't think she caught.
Rachel looked like she was debating on the right choice of words, "I don't think so. We got a new member in glee club. Hardly your replacement though."
"Oh?" I tried to act surprised, "Who?"
"Sam Evans. He's nice, you'd probably like him." She said as her smile slightly faltered. "He's like the new golden boy around here. Best running back this school's seen in a while and isn't that bad with a guitar."
"He sounds boring." I said in a playful tone.
"Funny, he said the same thing about you."
'Stop being stupid and change the subject.'
"Well, I actually have my eyes set on someone else so-"
"Oh?" She said as if she were repeating me, "Who?"
I just smiled and walked away. It was probably best to lead her on a bit instead of confessing my irrevocable love to her.
For the rest of the day I noticed Rachel staring at me and it definitely didn't stop during glee club. I couldn't keep myself from smiling as I felt her eyes on me.
'Has she always looked at me like that?'
I ended up sitting next to Puck when I walked in the choir room and received a raised eyebrow from him. I felt awkward and shrugged, "What?"
"You really wanna sit next to me?"
"Yeah aren't we friends?" I said like it were obvious.
He shrugged, "I guess."
'Oh yeah, Sam's friends with him. I could give two shits about him as Quinn.'
"Look, I'm not saying I want you to have sex with me. We'll just be.. Bros."
I knew it sounded weird coming out of my mouth but that's the only way I knew how to talk to him now. I had to admit, I was gonna miss him from being my friend so it was better to start building those bridge as Quinn now.
He nodded and smiled, "Lady Bro. Awesome."
We fist bumped as Mr. Shue started the lesson, "Lets welcome back Quinn Fabray from her very long break away from us."
I got up in front of the glee club and smiled, "Now that I'm back from a very bad case of Mono which I might add was passed to me by sharing a drink and not hooking up with the wrong people, I think a song is very necessary."
A few people clapped as Santana rolled her eyes and crossed her arms while looking at the ceiling, "I feel like I'm already dying of boredom."
Never taking my eyes off Rachel, I sat on one of the stools in front of the room and began singing with the band.
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I closed my eyes for a few seconds before my eyes swelled of undeniable love for Rachel. I sang the rest of the song with each note heavy with compassion.
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
One step closer
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Everyone clapped as Santana tried saying something while still staring at the ceiling, "If I'm the only one who noticed Quinn was totally eye fuck-"
Brittany covered her mouth and smiled at me in apology. I trailed my eyes back to Rachel and saw her look confused but maybe a little happy at the same time. It's hard to tell what someone you love feels when you're really hoping they just love you in return. Maybe everybody noticed they way I couldn't take my eyes off of her but I didn't care. Who was I trying to hide this from? I grew a penis for this girl, I'm sure that anything is possible now.
Mr. Shue let us leave after a few more minutes. Before Finn could go up to Rachel, I beat him to it by practically running towards her and received a very cute smile in return as I almost tripped to a halt.
"Hi." I said while watching Finn walk away.
'That's right Finn, she's mine.'
"Hi."
'Crap I didn't plan the conversation this far.'
"Uh, Did you enjoy the song?"
She looked at the ground and blushed, "I did.. It was beautiful."
'Not as beautiful as you. Damn that's smooth, say that. Say it!'
"As not beautiful.. I.. You."
'Perfect delivery.'
Rachel gave me a look I couldn't place before running her hand down my arm "Maybe your heads still foggy from being sick?"
I nodded and watched her walk away. Santana and Brittany came up to me as I continued to stare off at her and both started giggling.
"Real smooth Fabray." Santana said sarcastically. "Did you finally try to grow some balls?"
"Shut up."
"Yeah, you already know she did San." Brittany said while rolling her eyes.
"Okay, I refuse to believe that lady lips is Quinn but I will say that Sam and Rachel have absolutely no chemistry but Quinn and Rachel? Maybe."
'Well that made absolutely no sense.'
I shook my head, "Maybe I am getting sick. None of that came out right."
Santana gasped sarcastically as if she realized something, "I don't think you've ever been tongue-tied in front of anyone before have you?"
I left with them to the parking lot while trying to explain my problem, "I knew what to say I just.. It didn't come out correctly. I thought that only happened when I was Sam because my brain changed into man mode. Maybe it's just a side effect now."
"You've got it bad my friend. You have zero confidence unless you're calling her man hands or letting her know that the shire wants her back which by the way I'm sure they don't. They probably already have enough annoying Bilbo Baggins to pass around."
I rolled my eyes and turned to Brittany, "Give me a ride home?"
She nodded as I jumped in her car and turned to the window to flip Santana off while driving away.
Brittany tried cheering me up as she dropped me off at my house, "I could still lock Finn up in a janitor's closet if you want."
I smiled at Brittany and shrugged, "It's a pretty cool idea if you ask me but people would wonder where he's at."
"You're right. Maybe if we threaten him he'll get the picture like sending him decapitated Barbie heads in the mail and his locker."
"Sounds like a plan." I said while giggling. I waved bye to her as I walked into my house.
I dropped my keys on the coffee table and saw my mom pass by with a basket of laundry, "Hey mom."
"Quinn? You're back to.. your old self."
I looked down at myself and looked back up at her, "Very long story but yeah I guess I am."
My mom looked disappointed, "But I just bought Sam all new clothes and cologne."
"Why would you do that?" I said in slight panic.
"Because you stunk like a football field and I saw that you only had one pair of jeans-"
I threw my hands in the air while walking to my bedroom, "Seriously, what's up with people and my jeans?"
"You needed clothes.. But I suppose I could donate them."
"See? Not a problem. You're doing the world a favor."
She looked like she was thinking about it for a few seconds before nodding, "Okay, but I'm gonna keep them for a few days just in case."
"In case what?"
She didn't answer me as I stood by my doorway. I think she got used to the idea of having a son a little too quickly. She was probably hoping for a football scholarship from me.
"Do you miss Sam mom?"
"A little." She said with hesitation, "It was just nice having a man in the house again."
"You never know, maybe you'll get another man in the house someday. You just can't expect your daughter to change into one for you."
"It's been so long since I dated honey I'm sure that part of my life is done."
"Don't say that. Any guy would be lucky to be with you."
I gave her a comforting smile before I turned myself to my room and closed my door. I don't think I couldn't have gotten my Cheerio's uniform off any faster. I reached for my phone and texted Rachel as I flopped on my bed.
'Now's the time to redeem myself'
-Not as beautiful as you
She texted back a few minutes later,
-What?
-The song.. It's not as beautiful as you. That's what I meant to say earlier today, Goodnight Rach.
I went to sleep without waiting for a reply. Everything was perfect. This feeling of the great unknown made me have butterflies all the way up to my throat. It was such a nice feeling to have that it made me fall asleep quickly.
When I woke up in the morning, I was in a very groggy state and felt tingling between my legs. Thinking nothing of it I placed my hand near it and felt something long and hard that shouldn't have been there anymore. My eyes shot open and I ran to my mirror in horror.
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
A/N: Sam is back but so is Quinn. It'll be explained next chapter. Aren't you guys getting antsy for any kind of action between Rachel and Sam/Quinn because I'm flipping out and I'M the author. If you guys want some early action or something let me know and please tell me if you have a specific song you want Sam, Quinn or Rachel to sing for the next chapter or two. Review! :)
