It was now Thursday and Becca was more tired than ever, between class, Jesse, Bella's, working at the radio station and squeezing in a few mixes she barely had time to blink.
Groaning as she dropped onto her bed for fifteen minutes before work she yawned and looked up at the ceiling "it has to get easier, right?" She asked out loud.
She groaned as someone knocked at her door "who is it?" she called out.
"Me!" Jesse called back.
"Come in!" she called.
Jesse let himself in and chuckled "tired?" he asked walking to her bed.
"Exhausted, I barely got any sleep last night," she replied.
Jesse placed his hand on her hip "why don't you skip tonight? I can cover for you," he offered.
"Thanks, but I need the distraction," she said and sat up "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," she whined.
Jesse laughed and pulled her into him "I saw you this morning."
"You know what I mean," she sighed and yawned again.
Jesse looked down on her "Bec? have you told Danny about the nightmares?"
"No, he doesn't need anything else to worry about," she mumbled.
"Bec, I think you should talk to him, he might be able to help," Jesse said.
"How?" she said and stood up "it's in my head, how is he going to help?"
Jesse sighed and stood up she had dark circles under her eyes, she was zoned out all the time "he's a cop, I'm sure he's dealt with things like this before...you're gonna run yourself into the ground."
"Oh, just drop it Jesse!" she hissed "I'm fine, I'm a little tired! I'll survive like I always do!"
Jesse stared back at her for a few moments, shaking his head he walked to the door "sorry for trying to help, I'll see you tomorrow," he said and slammed the door behind him.
"Jesse! Wait!" she called after him "well done Becca," she huffed and dropped onto her bed. Taking out her phone she sent him an apology and scrubbed her hands over her face, she was beyond exhausted but it was no excuse to take it out on him.
Just as she pulled on her coat she looked down at her phone as it rang, she sighed when it was Danny "hey," she greeted.
"Hey Becs," he replied "how are you?"
"Great, just heading to work," she replied as she walked out of her dorm.
"Now?" Danny said "it's almost nine," he added.
"I know, I'm working the night shift tonight, I'll be finished at two," she replied.
"Becca, that's too much, you have classes tomorrow, he shouldn't be asking you to work so late."
"I'm not in until eleven tomorrow and I offered so he could go somewhere…did you call for something or just to annoy me?" she asked a bit harsher than she meant to.
Danny frowned again "no, I just wanted to say hello…what's up with you?"
"Nothing, I have to go, I'll call you tomorrow," she said and hung up.
….
Over at Jesse's he lay on his bed still in a bad mood, deciding to watch a movie to cheer himself up he rolled off the bed and grabbed his bag. Hearing something hit the floor he looked down and saw the mix Becca had given him, he looked up as Benji stopped in front of him "what did you say?" he asked.
"I'm going to meet Donald and Bumper for a drink, you coming?" Benji asked.
"Uh, no thanks, you go ahead," he replied.
"Becca?" Benji asked.
"What makes you say that?" Jesse asked.
"I know that look," he chuckled "do you want to talk about it?"
Jesse chuckled "that obvious huh? Nah, it's okay, you get off, I'll be fine."
"You sure? I don't mind blowing them off, we can just hang out or whatever," Benji said.
"Thanks, but I'll be okay, I've a few things I need to do, you go enjoy your night."
"Okay," Benji nodded "but if you change your mind we'll be at the campus bar," he said and slipped out of the room.
Jesse sat back against the wall and played with the stick, blowing out a breath he grabbed his laptop and pulled it onto his lap. Turning it on he stuck the stick in and grabbed his ear phones.
As music filled his ears he smiled widely, it was Becca singing-she was incredible, he sat back and listened to the words. I never thought I'd be in love like this, when I look at you my mind goes on a trip, then you came in and knocked me on my face, feels like I'm in a race but I already won first place, I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did, you got me thinking bout our life our house and kids, every morning I look at you and smile, coz boy you came around and you knocked me down.
Jesse bit on his lip as the music changed, this was a really big step for her, he chuckled as rap music started ( of course she had to get it in somewhere) never did I think a girl like me would be in need when all I really wanted was to have some fun (now I'm losing my head) I'm telling you one thing-number one, see I don't understand how you're number one, when it was just a fling before now you're the one, see all I did was blink twice, from my homie to my only, number one, you lift me off the ground, I always want you around, never gonna let nothing get in the way.
As it ended Jesse pulled off the ear phones and starred at the screen, she had mixed some meaningful songs, her voice was amazing, he was lost for words…he needed to see her, right now. Leaping off his bed he grabbed his coat and ran out the door.
Over at the radio station Becca yawned as she played a song, standing up she walked to the row of cds Luke had lining the walls. Thinking about Jesse she sighed, looking down at her phone she bit her lip and thought about calling him. He hadn't replied to her text or called her at all, she didn't blame him, she was way out of line.
She jumped and gasped when someone banged on the outside door, looking through the window of the booth she saw Jesse looking in trying to find her. Hurrying out with the keys she unlocked it and pushed the door out "hey," she said cautiously.
"Hey," he panted and yanked her to him kissing her hard, circling his arms around her he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss.
Becca gasped into his mouth, she was so not expecting that, after a minute or so she pulled back "um, what just happened?"
Jesse chuckled and closed the door over "I listened to your mix," he said.
"Oh," she said and looked at the floor as her cheeks flushed.
Jesse slid his hands on both sides of her face and tugged her to look up "it was amazing, your voice is absolutely beautiful," he smiled.
Becca bit on her lip nervously, she looked anywhere she could except at him "you really liked it?" she asked glancing at him.
"Bec look at me?" he asked taking a step closer to her.
Becca gulped and looked up at him "Jess you don't have to…" she trailed off not really knowing what she was trying to say...she just knew she was very uncomfortable.
Jesse shook his head "I loved it, every second of it…thank you, it really means a lot."
Becca smiled and stepped back to sit on the desk "I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you earlier, maybe the stress is getting to me more than I thought, not sleeping is only adding to it."
"You're doing too much," he said and sat beside her "you need a break," he added.
Becca nodded "I think I'm gonna go home for the weekend."
"Yeah?" he asked, he hadn't planned on going home for a few weeks "uh, want me to come?"
Becca smiled again "thanks but you have the mixer on Saturday remember?"
"Aw, yeah," he sighed "I can skip it," he offered.
"Thanks, but I think I need a few days to myself…alone," she said and turned to face him "Jess, don't take this the wrong way, you've been amazing and I really appreciate everything you've done for me, I love that you care so much. I just think I need time by myself to get myself together."
He nodded and slid his hand into hers "you do what you need to, I'll be right here whenever you need me."
Becca looked over at him for a few minutes, her heart just melted, he was such an amazing guy. Her heartrate sped up, she felt like she was going to throw up, she was going to do this, it was time "I love you, you know that?"
Jesse's eyes went wide for a moment before a grin overtook his face, leaning into her he stroked her cheek "I love you too Bec," he said and kissed her slowly.
…
Later that night Becca yawned as she set the playlist to play until Luke came in, locking up she had a quick look around to make sure everything was in order before she slipped out and locked the door. Turning around she pulled her bag onto her shoulder and gasped as someone stepped out in front of her.
"Sorry, it's me," Jesse said.
"Jesus Jesse," she chuckled "you almost gave me a heart attack…what are you doing out so late?"
Jesse slipped his arm around her shoulder as they started to walk "what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let the love of my life walk home alone at this time?" he chuckled.
Becca laughed and wrapped her arm around his waist "you must have known I was thinking about you."
Jesse chuckled and pulled her closer "what time are you planning on heading home at tomorrow?"
"I don't know I was gonna wait for the traffic to die down first," she replied as they stopped outside her door.
"Kimmy-Jin not turn up yet?" he asked as they walked into the room.
Becca shrugged "I called the office they said she was registered back in so I have no idea where she is. I saw her yesterday but she was gone before I got a chance to talk to her."
"You think she's in another dorm?" he asked as they sat back on her bed.
"I hope so," she laughed "I just wish she'd let me know…I'd love this place to myself."
"I think she's hooking up with someone," Jesse said.
"You always think people are hooking up," she laughed.
"But they are!" he said loudly "I know Donald is hooking up with Lilly-and, I know Aubrey is hooking up with Uni."
Becca laughed again, she'd never told him what Chloe had told her "they are not…well, maybe Donald and Lilly, but not Aubrey."
"Whatever, I know they are," he chuckled "are you sure you don't want me to even drive up with you? I won't bother you at home," he added.
"Jesse I'll be fine, I'm nearly twenty, I can handle a car ride by myself."
"I know," he nodded "but I'm gonna be bored, it's gonna suck without you here…what do you want for your birthday?" he asked.
"Nothing," she sighed "I don't celebrate my birthday-ever."
Jesse frowned, she'd been so excited over the car "why not?" he asked curiously.
Becca sighed again "because something bad always happens so I don't do anything," she said.
Jesse raised an eyebrow and watched her play with her hands "what do you mean something bad always happens?"
Becca shrugged and continued to stare at her hands "just stuff," she said and walked to the window "bad stuff," she muttered.
Jesse watched her stare out the window for a few minutes, standing up he walked up behind her "Babe, it's okay, if you don't want to do anything we won't do anything."
Becca turned to face him and crossed her arms over herself "my fourteenth birthday my dad left and mom started drinking. My fifteenth birthday I spent two days in and out of court praying I got to leave with Danny. My sixteenth birthday I spent a week sitting by my mom's bedside after she put herself into a coma from the drugs. The day of my seventeenth birthday Jack showed up at my school to tell me Danny had been shot and I had to go with him."
"Shot?" Jesse yelled in horror.
"Yeah," she muttered and walked to her bed "he was chasing some guy, he pulled a gun and shot Danny before he had a chance to react, he was in surgery for hours…he lost a kidney."
"Wow," Jesse said and walked to sit beside her "that must have been tough for you both."
Becca nodded "it was a scary time," she sighed.
"Do you want me to stay tonight?" he asked
Becca nodded and lay back "yeah, Kimmy-Jin won't be back any time soon," she chuckled.
Jesse smirked and crawled up over her "so I can do this?" he said kissing along her neck.
"Jess," she giggled.
"And this?" he said pulling down the zipper on her hoodie-his hoodie.
Becca sat up on her elbows and let him slid it off, biting her lip she looked back at him, reaching out she pulled his shirt up over his head and threw it to the floor "and I can do that," she giggled and lay back down.
Jesse chuckled and kissed her deeply, pulling back he looked down on her "these have to go too," he said tugging at her jeans.
Becca chuckled and lifted her butt as he slid them down, she groaned as her phone beeped beside them "who's texting this late?" she asked reaching out for it.
Jesse sat back a bit so she could reach it "what is it?" he asked when she gasped.
Becca stared at the screen for a few minutes before she replied "it's Aubrey, she got a tip off that the final is cancelled."
"What?" Jesse said and fell off the bed.
Becca looked over the side to see him scramble to his feet "we've an emergency meeting at eight am…both groups," she said as another message came through.
Jesse looked down at his own phone as it beeped "that's bumper, he's freaking out too."
Becca sighed "how can it be cancelled? Maybe someone is just trying to get to her, everyone knows how serious she takes this."
Jesse chuckled "and for that reason I don't think anyone would dare wind her up."
"No, guess not," she said and scooted over as he lay beside her-their fun now forgotten.
"What does that mean for us then?" Jesse asked.
Becca shrugged and rolled onto his chest "maybe they'll have it another weekend…they can't just cancel it, everyone's bought their tickets."
"That's true," he said wrapping his arm around her "we'll worry about it tomorrow…we should get some sleep."
Becca rolled over on top of him "I'm not tired."
Jesse slid his hands onto her exposed waist "really? It's nearly three am."
"Yeah," she nodded and slid her hands down towards his jeans "are you?"
"Not when you're on top of me," he chuckled "should I be worried about that look in your eyes?"
Becca bit on her lip and pushed against him "why? Am I scaring you?"
Jesse groaned and gripped her hips tighter "kinda, but I wanna find out."
"You ever done rough stuff?" she smirked while sliding her scarf off her neck.
His eyes went wide "what?" he sputtered out.
Becca laughed and lowered her head "relax," she whispered and kissed him slowly. As he slid his hands up her back she grabbed them and put them over his head.
"Uh, what are you doing?" he asked as she tied the scarf to the headboard followed by each of his wrists.
Becca slid down towards his stomach and looked up at him "having some fun," she said and tugged down his jeans.
"Oh god!" he groaned and arched of the bed.
Becca smirked as she got to work, she'd never done this before, and the way he was reacting was a good sign. She was so nervous about trying something different, she'd only ever been with one other guy before and that was a drunken night that neither remembered.
"Bec," he groaned and tried to move his hands.
Becca kissed up his chest and sucked on his neck "no trying to escape," she whispered in his ear.
"Babe, let me go, I want you so bad right now," he moaned as she slid back down. As she went back to it he rolled his eyes "fuck Bec," he growled.
Becca slid her hand up his arm and untied one side without lifting her head. Jesse quickly released his other hand and grabbed her up to him crashing his mouth to hers.
…
A while later they ended up on the floor scattered with clothes and sheets. Jesse looked at the ceiling "I don't know what you've done to me," he chuckled "but I am sore all over."
Becca chuckled and turned her head "I think my back is broken."
Jesse rolled to face her "sorry…got a bit carried away."
"That was the point," she giggled "wasn't that fun?" she added with a laugh.
"Hands down the best time ever, who knew you were a kinky little minx," he laughed.
Becca laughed "how many girls you been with?" she asked.
"Just Madison, you?" he replied.
"Some guy I met at a party when I was sixteen-just the once," she added.
Jesse rolled on his side "where did you get all the ideas for…whatever we just done there?"
Becca blushed and looked down "uh, I don't know…I just went with it."
Jesse slid his finger under her chin "Bec, we're gonna be doing stuff like this again so don't be embarrassed."
"It's just awkward," she mumbled and darted her eyes away from his "I have no clue what I'm doing."
Jesse chuckled "you seem to know what you've been doing so far."
"Okay, this is too weird, can we talk about something else?" she asked.
Jesse chuckled again and sat up "who do you think is gonna be worse tomorrow, Aubrey or Bumper?"
Becca scoffed "Aubrey of course," she said and stood up "she's probably emailing the organisers already."
Jesse laughed and grabbed his bottoms "I'd say she's looking for their personal numbers."
Becca nodded and pulled back her covers "guess we'll find out tomorrow," she said and glanced at the clock "wow, four am, we better get some sleep now, we've a busy day ahead of us."
Jesse climbed in beside her and pulled her against him "I know you don't want anything for your birthday, but I have to get you something-even if it's something small."
Becca sighed "I don't want anything-I don't need anything."
Jesse kissed her neck "I'll just get you something by myself, so if you do want something now is the time to tell me."
Becca bit on her lip, she knew it was a stupid excuse, she also knew he wouldn't leave her be until she picked something. "Fine, you can get me…" she trailed off as she tried to think, she'd always bought her own stuff or hit Danny to buy them, she really had no idea what to say.
Jesse chuckled "think about it and let me know."
Becca turned to face him "I really have no idea," she chuckled "I'm not used to this people buying me stuff thing."
Jesse leaned in and kissed her sweetly "whatever you want, you just let me know."
"I need new earphones," she mumbled.
Jesse laughed "was kinda hoping to get you something better than that."
Becca shrugged "the wires in my ones are dodgy, they keep crackling."
Jesse shook his head with an amused smirk "fine, I'll get you earphones."
The next morning Becca and Jesse made their way to the hall for the emergency meeting "look!" Jesse gasped pulling her in behind a tree.
"What?" Becca asked looking around.
"There," he pointed "I knew it," he said with a massive smile.
Becca followed his finger, over behind a wall she saw Aubrey and Unicycle making out "wow," she said and walked on "guess you were right."
Jesse raised an eyebrow and followed her "you knew?" he asked.
"Uh, I saw them the other day," she lied, she didn't want Chloe to get into trouble "they weren't making out or anything, I just thought for Aubrey they seemed a bit close."
Jesse scoffed and rolled his eyes "you're such a terrible liar."
Becca laughed "I am not lying, it didn't seem like a big deal," she said and swung to face him "take your seat dork."
Jesse frowned and looked around, he hadn't realised they were inside, grabbing her round the waist he sat down and pulled her onto his lap "you're staying with me," he said tightening his hold on her.
"Uh, guys, get a room," Amy called over.
Becca laughed and kissed him quickly "I'm gonna sit with the girls," she said and jumped off his lap before he could protest.
Jesse narrowed his eyes at her as she looked back and smiled at him "traitor!" He called after her.
Becca shrugged and dropped down beside Amy "so, Amy," she smirked "I saw you sneaking out of Bumpers house this morning."
Amy's eyes went wide, sitting up straight she grabbed her wrist "if you keep your trap shut I will say no more about you and pretty boy."
Becca laughed and shook her off "relax, I'm kidding, I won't say anything, besides," she said smirking at her "it's not the first time I've seen you sneaking through the bushes."
Amy rolled her eyes "stupid Bumper making me climb out the window."
Becca laughed again "you know the treble ban has been lifted, you can see him if you want to."
Amy shrugged "I came here to get away from guys."
Becca frowned "then what are you doing with him then…don't answer that," she chuckled as Amy wiggled her eyebrows.
"Okay everyone!" Aubrey called as she walked in front of them "I have been on to the association, and the show has been cancelled due to double booking."
"So what now?" Chloe asked panicked "how could they double book? everyone has bought their tickets, we've put do much work in already."
Aubrey waved her hands "Chloe, chill," she said and shot her a look "as I was saying, I've been on to them. The show has been cancelled but it will go ahead on Saturday the eight of April."
Sighs of relief went around, Bumper stood up "well panic over, I'm outta here," he said and walked off.
Everyone else stood up and followed his lead, all now happy it had been cleared up.
….
After her last class, Becca dashed from the room away from Amy and Stacie, she wanted to get back to her room and pack before spending a bit of time with Jesse.
"Becca!" she heard Jesse call. Stopping she turned back and smiled as he walked towards her "in a hurry are we?" he asked as he slung his arm around her shoulder.
"Yes, I wanted to get things ready so I could spend some time with you before I took off."
"Oh," he said and stopped.
"What?" she asked.
"Uh," he said and scratched the back of his neck "I told Luke I'd cover for him from four till six."
"Great," she sighed, she had no idea why she was so mad about this "well I guess I don't need to rush then," she added and started to walk.
"Bec, I'm sorry" he said catching up with her "I thought you weren't going until later, I was going to come straight over after."
"It's okay," she said without looking back "I'll stop in and see you before I go."
"Alright," he sighed "I'm sorry…I love you!" he called.
"Yeah!" she called back "I'll see you later."
"Bec!" he sighed.
Becca stopped and closed her eyes, huffing she turned back to him and walked back "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm in a bad mood," she muttered.
Jesse stepped closer to her and slid his hand onto her waist "let's try that again…I love you," he said looking down on her.
Becca smiled and looked up at him "I love you too," she said and stood on her toes to kiss him.
"That's better," he chuckled and kissed her again, stepping back her took her hand "come on, I'll walk you back to your dorm before I go in."
"Won't you be late for Luke?" she asked.
Jesse shrugged "I'm always late anyway," he chuckled.
Becca laughed and reached into her pocket as her phone rang "it's Danny," she said and looked up at him "I'll be a while, you better get on."
Jesse nodded and kissed her "okay, I'll call you in a while," he said and walked on.
She watched him go before she answered her phone "hey," she said happily.
"Hey, you're in a better mood," he chuckled.
"Yeah, sorry about that," she said and let herself into her room "I'd had a fight with Jesse, I was really pissed off."
Danny chuckled again "honeymoon phase over already?"
"No," she laughed "it was my fault, he was only trying to help," she said and frowned at the empty side of her room "uh, I have to go, I'm coming home for the weekend so I'll see you tonight."
"Why?" he asked surprised, he didn't think she'd be home for a few weeks.
"Because I need a break by myself to think about a few things."
"Okay," he said slowly "anything you want to talk about?"
Chewing on her lip she thought about what Jesse had said about her nightmares "uh, yeah, actually there is…I'll be home about nine, gotta go," she said and hung up.
A while later Jesse knocked on her door "come in!" came a muffled voice.
He frowned and opened the door slowly "Bec?" he asked when he couldn't see her.
"Hey," she said sticking her head out from the closet.
"What are you doing?" he laughed as he looked around the messy room.
"I came home and all of her stuff was gone, I called the office and they said she requested a room change because one of her friends that shared with another friend couldn't come back," Becca said happily.
Jesse chuckled "so this room is just for you now?"
"Yep," she said and pushed her bed against the wall lengthways "now I can look out the window when I wake up."
Jesse chuckled again and sat down "I thought you were coming to see me, I was worried I missed you."
Becca's eyes went wide "what time is it?" she asked diving for her phone "shit! Danny's gonna kill me, he's waiting in for me. Jess, I'm sorry I gotta go now, thank god I packed earlier," she said scrambling around the room.
"Hey," he said grabbing her as she hurried by him "just sit for a minute."
Becca dropped down beside him "sorry, I totally lost track of time, I had planned on stopping by and leaving from there."
Jesse played with their hands while he thought for a second "hey, can I talk to you about something?"
"Sure," she nodded "is everything okay?" she asked noting his serious face.
"That letter?" he asked looking over at her "have you read it?"
Becca's face went neutral, she looked over at the book she'd shoved it into "I started to," she sighed "I never went back to it."
"Yeah?" he asked surprised "you never told me," he added.
"I did," she frowned "oh, you fell asleep…on our date."
"Right," he nodded "…what did it say?"
Becca stood up and walked to the window "she said she was sorry for the way she'd brushed him off after he got clean. She went on about going to see some guy in a rehab place." She sighed and dropped her head "my mom was clean Jess, she was off the drugs for three months."
Jesse closed his eyes and sighed heavily, standing up he walked to her "Bec," he said softly "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," she said and swiped at her eyes "nothing's gonna change, she's still gone."
Jesse stood in silence for a minute just watching her move away from him "why don't you bring it with you and show it to Danny," he suggested.
Becca shrugged "I haven't read it all yet, I'm not ready for him to go off on one."
Jesse nodded and glanced at the floor briefly "do you want me to help you to your car?"
Becca nodded and grabbed her laptop case "thanks," she mumbled.
….
Later that night Becca let herself into her house "Danny!" she called and stuck her head into the living room "Danny!" she called again and walked on to the kitchen.
She turned as the door open "hey," she smiled when he appeared all sleepy looking "did I wake you?"
"No," he yawned and sat down "I'm still trying to catch up on sleep…why are you so late?" he asked looking at the clock.
Becca sat beside him "so I did wake you…sorry, lost track of time."
Danny yawned again "we talking now or tomorrow?"
Becca looked at the clock to see it was after eleven "we can do it tomorrow if you want to head to bed."
Danny clicked the kettle on and sat back down "I'm good," he replied it wasn't very often Becca chose to talk without someone asking first.
Becca played with her hands "it's not a big deal really, I don't really know why I'm telling you anyway."
"Becs, you're babbling," he chuckled.
"Sorry," she said and leaned on her elbows "since I saw Nick here…I've kinda been having dreams."
"Dreams?" Danny asked.
"Yeah," she nodded "I'm in my room at moms but there's a younger me in the bed too."
Danny nodded "and what happens in these dreams?"
"It's the same dream all the time, Nick comes in, I try help her, she's the only one that can see me…until she runs out of the room."
Danny raised an eyebrow "what happens after that?"
"I'm blocking the doorway so he can't follow her, then he sees me and pins me to the door before ripping my shirt. I scream and scream and no one comes…then I always wake up shaking sweating and my heart does be racing."
Danny sighed "how many times have you had this dream?"
Becca shrugged "before I went back to college…every time I close my eyes."
"So, you're not sleeping?"
"No," she mumbled.
"Eating?" he asked.
"Not really," she sighed.
"Mood swings?"
"A few," she admitted.
Danny sighed again "are you restless in class? Are you isolating yourself?"
"More irritated than restless," she replied "and I haven't been isolating myself…why are you asking all this?"
"It's common with traumatic experiences," he said and looked over at her "it's post-traumatic stress disorder, we call it PTSD."
Becca frowned "so I'm just stressed?"
"No," he sighed "Bec, it's more than that, seeing him again opened your memories you had blocked out. You should have told me sooner," he said and stood up.
Becca stood up too "why? Why do you look so worried?"
Danny scrubbed his hands over his face "because it's not easy to shake, it takes a lot of work…I'm taking you to the doctor first thing in the morning."
"Why do I need to see a doctor?" she asked alarmed.
"This can get out of control, if you let it into your head you won't know what you're doing, what you're saying…we're going first thing, no arguments," he said and walked out of the room.
A while later Becca lay on her bed just staring at the ceiling, she'd spent an hour looking up post-traumatic stress…it didn't look so good. She looked over at her phone as it lit up, grabbing it she read the message and smiled hey babe, you still up?"
Sitting up she replied yeah, what's up?"
She laughed at his reply lying here missing you sniffing your scent off my pillow.
She laughed and dialled his number "that's kinda creepy you know."
"I'm kidding," he chuckled "but I am missing you."
"Aww, dork can't cope without me," she laughed.
"Hey, you got my heart, what can I say?" he chuckled.
"Aww," she smiled "I'm missing you too, why aren't you watching a movie?"
"I was thinking about you…have you spoken to Danny?" he asked.
"Yeah," she sighed "just about the dream though."
"Good," he replied "what does he think?"
"He thinks it's post-traumatic stress," she replied "he's taking me to a doctor tomorrow."
"Babe, that is really serious, why didn't you call me?" he asked.
"Because it's just his opinion, I've been reading up on it, I don't think I have it," she replied.
"Of course you'd say you don't have it, denial is one of the symptoms," he sighed.
Becca chewed on her lip, apart from the dreams and her being a little moody she thought she was fine "do you think I have it?" she finally asked.
Jesse was quiet for a moment "I don't know," he sighed "you seem a bit moody lately...more than usual, you're distracted a lot, you're not sleeping or eating."
"So you think I should go to the doctor?" she asked trying to remain calm.
"Yes," he said softly "even if it's not that he might be able to help you get some sleep."
Becca looked at the clock "I better go get some sleep, no doubt Danny will have me there by eight am."
"Bec, I'm sorry, you asked my opinion, I didn't want to lie to you," he said.
"Jess, it's okay, really, I'm glad you were honest, I've a lot going on at the moment, it's probably a good idea to go the doctor."
Jesse sighed in relief "so we're good? You're not mad at me?"
"No nerd," she laughed "we're totally fine."
"You're sure?" he asked "I can't see your face."
Becca laughed again "yes Jesse, I promise you we're fine, I am not mad at you, we're good."
"Good," he replied "uh, did you think any more about the letter?"
"No," she yawned "I forgot I even took it with me."
Jesse nodded even though she couldn't see him "you know I can be there in a few hours."
"Jesse, get some sleep and stop worrying about me, you can do whatever you want for the weekend."
"I'd rather be doing you," he sighed.
Becca burst out laughing "Jesse Swanson!" she shrieked.
Jesse chuckled "sorry, that didn't come out as I meant it."
Becca calmed herself down "on that note, I'm gonna say goodnight."
Jesse chuckled again "night babe, I love you, call me if you need me."
"Will do, love you too weirdo, night," she said and hung up.
….
The next morning Danny pulled up at the doctors and killed the engine, turning to Becca he waited for her to say something. When she didn't budge, he sighed "we're here Becs," he finally said.
Becca just nodded and huffed, pulling off her belt she grabbed her bag and climbed out without a word.
Danny sighed again and followed her, pushing the door open he let her go in and followed behind. Becca gave her name at the desk and sat down. He sat beside her still no words spoken "this is the best thing to do Becs, you need to see someone."
"It's a waste of time," she muttered and turned away from him.
"Becs," he started.
"Becca Mitchell!" A nurse called cutting him off.
Becca stood up quickly and walked after her, sitting down in an office she looked around and groaned, what was she was supposed to say?
She looked up as a man in a white coat walked in "Becca?" he asked and sat down.
"That's me," she replied and watched him flick through a file.
"You haven't been to see us since you were nine," he smiled and looked up at her "that's great…what can I do for you today?"
"Ask my brother," she sighed, looking up at him she sighed again as he sat looking back at her with raised eyebrows "my brother thought you could help me…I'm having dreams and not sleeping."
"Okay," he nodded and picked up a pen "and how long have you been not sleeping?"
"Just over a week," she replied.
"Okay, appetite?"
"None," she replied and shifted uncomfortably as he looked at her for an extra few seconds.
"And the dreams?"
"Same one every time I close my eyes," she muttered.
The doctor put his hands together and leaned over the desk a little "and what happens in this dream?"
Becca sighed heavily "a guy is in my bedroom, he gets in the bed with me."
He sat back and studied her, he knew there was more to this than she was telling "okay, has there been anything to trigger this? A life change maybe? Anyone move away? Anyone come back into your life?"
"All of the above," she muttered.
"Care to elaborate?" he chuckled.
Becca sighed again "I moved away to college, my mom died last week and a guy I haven't seen in years reappeared."
He nodded and scribbled on a notepad "Becca, I'm also a therapist, I'd like to set up a few sessions with you."
"Why?" she asked quickly.
"Because I think there's a lot more to this and we need time to get to the problem," he said and ripped off a page for her. "For now this will help you sleep, I'll see you at the address below on Monday morning, over the rest of the weekend I want you to keep a journal, what you eat, when you sleep and how many times you have this dream."
Becca walked out of the office and walked straight towards the exit not even looking to see where Danny was. He spotted her and caught up with her "what did he say?"
"I wanna go see granddad," she said and climbed into the car.
Danny stopped halfway in "what?" he yelled.
"You heard me," she said and slammed her door.
Danny closed his door and looked over at her "Becs, you haven't seen him in years."
"Well I wanna see him now!" she yelled.
"What happened in there?" he asked wide eyed.
"Are you gonna take me or am I walking?" she asked ripping off her belt.
"Okay, okay, chill, I'll take you," he said and started up the car.
Becca put her belt on and sat back in her seat "he wants me to see him on Monday for a session."
"A therapy session?" Danny asked.
"Yeah," she muttered "he thinks there's more behind it."
"Well, that's good I suppose," Danny replied.
"How is it good?" she shrieked "I can barely talk to you!"
"They're professionals Bec, they have their ways of getting you to open up."
Becca sighed and sunk into her seat "I'm going to one and that's all."
"It's a start," Danny replied and looked back to the road.
About a half an hour later Danny pulled to a stop, Becca looked over at him "thanks, I can get a taxi home."
Danny nodded "okay, I'll see you at home."
"Yep," she said and climbed out "will I tell him you said hello or anything?"
Danny gripped the wheel tightly "let him remember you first," he said and looked over at her "remember, he hasn't seen you in years, we don't know what state he's in now."
Becca nodded "I know, I'll see ya later," she said and closed the door, watching him take off she sighed and walked up the steps of the nursing home.
Getting to the desk she stopped and waited for the nurse to look up "hi, I'm here to see Peter Jackson…is now a good time?"
The nurse frowned and stood up "are you family?" she asked walking around the desk "he hasn't had a visitor in years."
Becca bit her lip as guilt built up "um, I'm his granddaughter-I've been away for college," she added quickly.
"Oh, Becky, right?" the nurse smiled "he always talks about you."
"It's Becca actually…he still remembers me?" she asked surprised.
"Oh, yes," the nurse chuckled and started to walk "he'll be delighted to see you, his old friend passed away last week, he's been on a downer ever since."
"That's so sad," Becca said as they stopped outside a room.
"Two little hell raisers," the nurse chuckled "that's him over by the window, take care Becca," she said and walked off.
"You too, and thanks!" she called after her. Looking to her granddad staring out the window she sighed, she'd never felt so bad in all her life, blowing out a breath she started walking towards him.
…
Becca stood behind him for a few minutes, clearing her throat she waited for him to tilt his head "hi," she smiled.
He looked her up and down a few times before he slowly brought his eyes to hers "Becca?" he asked as his eyes lit up.
"Yeah…hey granddad," she said and sat down.
"My granddaughter!" he yelled happily "my granddaughter is here everyone!" He smiled and reached out to caress her cheek "my little angel," he said happily.
Becca smiled and put her hand on his "sorry it's taken so long for me to come here."
He waved her off and sat back "it wasn't your fault, your mother did what she thought was best."
Becca chewed on her lip, her mom fell out with him over ten years ago. He had no idea she lived with Danny, or her dad had left, or that her mom had died…should she tell him? Looking over at him watching her she smiled and stood up "am I allowed to take you out for a few hours?"
He chuckled and nodded to his wheelchair "I'm sure an ice-cream could be arranged."
Becca helped him into his chair and took off down the hall, stopping at the front desk to make sure they knew she was taking him off. "Where to?" she asked as they walked down the street.
"There's a park a few blocks around the corner, there's an ice-cream truck there too," he replied.
Becca chuckled "you like your ice-cream huh?"
Peter chuckled and pointed to an entrance "there's a lake with a bench down that way."
"Okay, what ice-cream do you want?" she asked as she put the brakes on the wheelchair.
"Strawberry," he replied.
Becca chuckled and started to walk off "me too!" she called back.
Arriving back with two ice-creams she sat down and handed him one "here we go," she chuckled.
They sat in silence for a few minutes before he turned to her "you have a glow on you."
"What?" she laughed "what does that mean?"
He chuckled and patted her stomach "something's cooking."
"Granddad, stop," she said and stilled his hand "there's nothing in there."
Peter chuckled again "you have the same glow your mother had on you and Daniel…I know what I'm talking about."
"Well, this time you don't," she chuckled and stood up "we're going for a walk," she added and wheeled him away.
"How's your mother and the boys?" he asked a few minutes later.
Becca chewed on her lip, she was waiting for this "um, they're good," she lied. She couldn't do it, she couldn't tell him his daughter had passed and no one thought to tell him…they'd forgotten all about him.
"You're such a bad liar," he chuckled "but it's okay, I have no right to ask anymore."
"I've missed you," Becca said seriously "I remember going to your house at weekends, I had such a great time in those fields," she chuckled.
Peter chuckled too "I had a great time too sweetheart," he said and moved his hand back onto hers "I've missed you too," he sighed.
A/N and there's another one down, hope you enjoyed it, JJ. songs were knock you down by Keri Hilson and number one by Tinchy strider ft N-Dubz.
