There were two reasons why Reid ultimately chose neurosurgery. The first was the obvious reason: he wanted to piss his uncle Angus off by proving he was the better man. The second was he simply loved the brain. He loved the idea that something so unique and so intricate controlled thought, touch, movement, smell, taste. He loved that the brain could create masterpieces like the Great Pyramid of Egypt, the Sistine Chapel, and the Declaration of Independence. And of course, The Godfather parts 1 and 2. As a med student, he used to sit in the observation room and watch Dr. Channing for hours, operating on numerous patients, every condition imaginable. He studied every movement, every decision Channing made. He poured over hundreds of medical journals and peer articles, absorbing everything he could. It was a surprise to no one that by 28, Dr. Oliver was performing brain surgeries on his own; or by 32, he opened his own clinic. No one knew the brain quite like Dr. Reid Oliver.
As he poured over Luke's scans, he tried to be unbiased, tried to treat this examination like it was some random 22 year old patient of his. But this wasn't some random 22 year old. It was Luke. It was Reid's entire being. He was silently pleading with Luke's brain to show him something.
After several minutes, Reid turned to John, who had been quiet as he hungrily examined the scans. "We need to do a craniotomy," he decided. "He has massive swelling on the left side of his brain. It's evasive and it's risky, but I think it would elevate the swelling and pull him out of the coma."
John shook his head slowly. "That was our obvious first choice but Dr. Tanner thought it would do more harm than good. What makes you think this would work?"
"Because I say it will. Rick Tanner is a Harvard reject who ended up getting his medical degree online. I am the best. And I say this will work. Unfortunately, Dr. Tanner will have to do the surgery so I'm going to want both you and Bob in the operating room. God forbid he cuts the brain stem or something."
Reid felt good, he felt energized. He knew this surgery was risky but Luke was strong, he was a fighter. There was no way this surgery wouldn't work. He knew this ultimately meant Chris Hughes would not get a heart but he honestly couldn't care less about that. The only thing Reid cared about was making Luke better. He made a promise and he had every reason to keep it.
John studied Reid for a moment before slowly agreeing. "Ok. Let's bring it to the masses."
****
"You want to crack open his skull?" Lily asked, incredulously. "But isn't that risky?"
Reid and John were back downstairs in Luke's hospital room with Reid taking his familiar place next to Luke's side, his hand clasping Luke's hand. John summoned Lily, Holden, Bob, and Dr. Tanner into Luke's room to discuss the options.
"It is risky –very risky," Dr. Tanner agreed. "Mr. Snyder, Ms. Walsh, I'm not going to lie to you. I don't think this surgery will help Luke."
"But Reid said—"
"I know what Dr. Oliver said and I understand this is a- delicate situation for him. But he's not in any position to make a professional opinion."
Reid, who had been quiet while Dr. Tanner explained the surgery, was offended. "Excuse me? Who are you to say anything? I am more doctor than you willever be. Don't you dare undermine my professionalism!"
"Dr. Oliver, I'm sorry, but I think you're so desperate to make Luke better that you're not looking at this objectively!"
Reid, with his hand still grasping Luke's, slowly pushed himself out of his wheelchair. "I am looking at this objectively! Luke's brain is severely swollen and it is showing no signs of letting up. We need to release pressure and give his brain the room to heal!"
"His brain is too delicate to do this surgery! If the circumstances were a little bit different than I would have no hesitation doing this procedure but I will not put my hands on his brain when it's this severe!"
"It's his only chance!"
Holden, who had been quietly processing this exchange, suddenly turned to Bob and asked, "if we do this surgery, what are the chances of it being a success?"
"Holden, I am not the brain surgeon—"
"Please, Bob. Just tell me."
Bob's eyes flickered from Reid to Dr. Tanner before finding Holden's again. "I would say Luke has a 25-30% shot of making a full recovery. But only if there are no complications during surgery."
"No," Lily said softly. "We're not going to do the surgery."
"Lily—" Reid started.
"No Reid. He didn't want this. He didn't want the machines and surgery. He made it very clear to us. He wouldn't want this."
Reid's body went numb. "But this is Luke's only chance of getting better! Don't you think it's worth the risk? Don't you think we owe it to Luke to try?"
He turned to Holden, his eyes pleading. "Please. Please. We have to try! I made a promise to Luke, I told him I would fix him!" He felt tears again but did not care. "Holden. Please."
"Reid, I'm so sorry…"
"No," he interrupted, shaking his head. "No."
"Luke made it very clear to us what he wanted."
"No!" he exclaimed. "No no no! I don't care what Luke said. I don't care what he wanted. How can you just stand there and watch your son die? Watch as his heart is taken out of his still beating chest and placed into someone else's?"
Lily began to sob.
"Luke is only 22. He has so much to live for. He was looking forward to taking Natalie and Ethan trick-or-treating. He told me stories about the Hubbard squash and ice skating on the Snyder pond."
His attention shifted from Lily and Holden back to Luke. Always Luke. "We were just getting started. I told him I love him. And he loves me. Don't take away our future. Please!"
He gently placed a hand on Luke's chest, feeling his heart beating strongly. "I don't know how to do this, Luke. I don't know how to let you go," he whispered. "You look so peaceful, so beautiful. I never told you how you took my breath away the first time I saw you. Or how I nearly walked Noah into the wall that first day because I was so flustered being around you." He smiled at the memory. "Katie used to give me so much crap about it," he said, laughing through his tears. "I denied it, of course."
His smiles at the memory quickly fell. He gently placed his ear over Luke's heart.
"Thank you for giving me your heart," he whispered.
Reid is not sure how long he stayed by Luke's side. It could have been hours, days, for all he knows. He refused to let go of Luke's hand as one-by-one, Luke's family came in to say good-bye. Reid watching distantly as Ethan, not quite knowing what was happening, blew Luke a kiss as he left the room. As Faith started crying so hard, she had to be sedated. As Noah gently kissed Luke on the cheek, saying good bye to the man he still loved. It all felt like a dream to him.
Finally everyone left, seeking solace in one another out in the hallway. Lily and Holden were standing on the other side of Luke's bed; John, Alison, and a group of nurses were hovering off to the side, waiting to take Luke into the operating room so his heart could be given to another man.
"Good-bye, baby," Lily whispered. "I will love you forever."
"I am so honored to be your father," Holden said, choking back tears. "I couldn't ask for a more perfect son."
And then... it was Reid. He knew it was time. "I will love you until the day I die," he whispered as he kissed Luke's cheek. "Good-bye, Mr. Snyder."
He let go of Luke's hand as John and Alison stepped up to prepare Luke for surgery. He watched, numbly, as they gently wheeled Luke out of his room. He followed them until he reached the doorway, where the crowd of Snyders and Hughes, family and friends, doctors and nurses, people who were affected by Luke and those who barely knew him, quietly stepped aside as Luke moved slowly by them.
After a few moments of heavy silence, Katie began to say the Our Father, aloud, with Margo, Kim, and Bob each taking a line.
"Forgive us our trespasses," Emma offered after a pause.
"As we forgive those who trespass against us," Barbara added, reaching over and taking Emma's hand.
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil," Noah intoned, quietly, tears streaming down his cheek.
Then, from behind, in a small, barely audible voice, someone said, "Amen." It was Reid. In agreement, everyone else echoed his final word, as they all set Luke off into his final journey.
Reid, who was barely standing as it was, felt himself falling. The strength he had been carrying for Luke left his body as soon as Luke was out of sight. He didn't care who saw, he didn't care what people would say. Luke was the reason why he was here; the reason why Reid felt so much compassion and love; why he had become a better man. What was he supposed to do without Luke? Who was going to be there for him now?
He felt hands behind him suddenly, catching him before he fell completely. "I got you," was whispered in his ear. He turned slowly and saw Holden, his eyes big with tears, his lips quivering. Reid nodded once and leaned into Holden's embrace, both men focusing on the elevator doors where Luke was last seen.
"Amen."
