The story is a bit shorter this time but at least I got it finished faster than last time ^^ *proud of myself*

heyalove43: you made my day with your comment 3


The words were anything but nice and they had the purpose to throw Shizuo in a corner with no way to escape, keeping him from asking hurtful questions as well. The former blond looked up and for the first time since his arrival in the morning, there was a shadow falling like a cloak over his beautiful golden eyes.

After having heard all those ridiculous things on the previous day, Shizuo noticed the intentions his brother had. He wasn't able to put them in clear words but that question was dripping out a lot of suppressed feelings. If he wasn't careful here, he could lose the fragile connection they had left. The seconds ticked by and he still hadn't come up with an answer. Damn, why was his brother the fucking smart one in a situation like this? To gain more time he tried being the evasive one for the time being.

"Well, it wasn't like the happy family get-together you might imagine. I went as 'Izaya' like you had suggested."

"I can see that."

Seeing his younger brother having a big question mark in the face, Izaya added:

"Your hair colour, it's still brown."

"Oh, yeah. I actually came to like this shitty colour."

"If it's so shitty, why do you like it now? Only to say it: you still have to answer the other question as well."

Shizuo didn't have an answer for the first question yet and couldn't say the reason for the second one was that he somehow got to like the colour since it reminded him so much of his other half. It wasn't the time yet to talk about things like that. He took a deep breath and finally decided to give an answer.

"To your first question: I won't ever go there again. I was already happy with my current family but since yesterday, I am really glad that I didn't grow up as an Orihara! That fucking bi… that woman has lost all sense of reason! What kind of car hit her that she was able to think that way? Oh, sorry… do you like her?"

A snicker assured him that he didn't go too far with his words but he should choose them more wisely or at least think at all. After he had started talking, the truth simply came out without him being able to control it. The snicker faded and the next question was:

"What did she tell you that you react this way?"

'Okay brain: THINK before you give the command to talk!'

"Well, ehm, she told me about the past and why they gave me away and such."

'That was better than the first try at least. You got yourself some time.'

"Oh so she did tell you how loved you were and that the bad Iza-iza was at fault for everything. Congrats."

'Shit' was Shizuo's first thought. That reaction was exactly the thing he didn't want to happen but it was probably inevitable considering the whole situation. Now the most important thing was to somehow get Izaya to understand that he wasn't agreeing with that bitch at all and that he truly liked him and not only since yesterday.

"I would put it in other words, but I guess that wraps it up, yes. But I want you to know that I hate her for thinking like that. It is ridiculous and totally makes no sense and… and it was completely their fault! They could have tried more and better and I don't think they 'loved' any of us for real because they, ehm, they should have done a better job, you know? I mean they were, are our parents and it's their damn duty. They never gave us a real chance, did they? Fuck, I can't say it well."

Shizuo was desperate and it was clearly visible even in his body language. As he continued speaking, he had been grabbing the table with his hands and leaned forward to close the physical distance between the both of them.

Izaya on the other hand had been trying to evade eye contact and looked somewhere behind his counterpart but now he returned the look.

"Wow, she must have told you a lot. That must have been the longest time she talked to 'me' since they gave you away."

"Really?" with astonishment and without thinking, the former blond had spoken once again and regretted it right away.

"Eh, you don't have to answer. It doesn't change a thing for me since I have lost all my interest in them for real.

"It's so nice that you have a second family. So it doesn't matter to you since you don't lose anything either way. That must be a great feeling."

The brunet's voice didn't sound any different than his normal one but his expression couldn't follow that example completely. The younger twin had to come up with something which would help him getting through the conversation without causing any more harm.

"That's not what I mean, Izaya. I think that I would not choose the Orihara family even if I had no one else to rely on anymore. Of course I am glad that I have my current family but that doesn't account to my decision at all. I won't ever forgive them."

"Then tell me: if you don't need the 'Orihara family' anymore, why are you here with one of their members?"

Another question without an answer he could talk about in a situation like this. Or was it okay for Shizuo to say it?

"We are twins. We are different. You are me and I am you. I don't want to live without you. That doesn't make any sense, does it? Does it bother you? I mean me being here?"

Izaya looked at him without any readable expression. He was neither laughing nor looking angry. His older brother just looked right at him with those mysterious eyes for an eternity as it seemed.

"I don't know," was his answer.

"Well, then… I think, I guess it's better for me to go and… let you think about that for some time," the former blond was hurt by this answer but he didn't want to show that. Those words were at least better than a clear rejection.

"You're not acting like yourself, you know?" Izaya mentioned.

"Normally, you act differently yourself."

Finally, after all those exchanged words, the younger twin heard a laughter which he had missed for quite some time. It was similar to the usual wicked kind which was always a sign of mischief but for him it was a sign that he was still allowed to hope.

"That's true as well. Actually, why don't you stay here some more so that I can find my answer faster? I don't have anything to do today either way."

Somehow it sounded seductive.

"I don't mind but we have a test coming up in two days, don't you need to stu- of course you don't but I have to actually. Do you have at least some notes he- you don't have notes for anything, right?"

Thinking about how fast a conversation could change for a moment, Shizuo felt that it might be just them avoiding it right now and it was him who started avoiding it.

"No, I don't have any notes but I do have the textbooks if you need them."

"They are only helpful if I have the answers to the questions."

The smaller brunet smirked.

"Oh godly Izaya, would you be so kind and help me with my studies? Then I'll gratefully accept your invitation to stay here for another while."

Only the wish to stay with his second half could force Shizuo to say such a sentence. His own dignity told him that he should hang himself even though it was mentioned as a joke but who cares about dignity if the person one needs most in the world is standing right there?

For the major part of the day, the apartment was peaceful. Izaya enjoyed teaching and correcting his younger brother - in his own way - while the other one had a hard time to cope with the situation of being dependant on the person who tried to aggravate, distract and tease him as much as possible. Over all, it was the best result Shizuo had been able to hope for. In the late afternoon, they had a late lunch and even though he didn't want to, Shizuo decided to go home after it.

"I guess I could handle seeing you from time to time," the older brother said.

The golden eyes of the younger boy widened and he froze on spot.

"What?" Izaya laughed. "You look like a paedophile whose child-porns weren't taken away by the police."

"Wanna die?" Shizuo asked.

"Maybe tomorrow, see ya."

"Bye, see you in school."